Saturday, October 31, 2009

The most horrible of nights *UPDATE

If you are a believer in prayer, or angels, or any higher power making decisions, tonight, please give a thought to one of S3's teammates.

This afternoon, a boy (I will call him Eddie....because he reminds me of Eddie Munst3r) got in trouble for shooting off M-80's in the woods by his house...(those are big firecrackers for those of you not in the know) and the police were called. He and his friend were taken to their homes for their parents to take care of the discipline.

Eddies father, is a drunk. He is loaded at every game he comes to. He reeks of booze, and yells at his son from the sidelines.

If Eddie misses a pass (he and S3 play lacrosse and football together), his father yells at him --and everyone within shouting distance--that he is pissed. His son has to be the star.

The ironic part is that Eddie IS a good athlete. Amazingly he BEAT brain c@ncer when he was just 10 years old. It was a very rough road but the kid is tenacious and he rallied back.

Consequently, he is a couple of years older than his classmates, but on par emotionally. He has had some issues with temper, and sadly, doesn't have a lot of friends, as he is somewhat unpredictable and difficult to be around.

S3 only has two "friends" out of dozens that I have told him are not welcome in our home....Eddie is one of them.

He was here once for a little gathering S3 had, and when all the other kids were outside shooting hoops, eating hot dogs and having fun, Eddie was wandering around inside. I was keeping an eye on him and at one point, picked up our cat, held him like a football and drew back to make the pass. Yes. He was going to throw the cat across the room.

I came in just in time, yelled his name and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me, as though nothing was wrong, set the cat down and walked outside. hint of remorse or acknowledgment that anything was amiss.

This afternoon, after the M-80 incident, he went to his room and tried to commit suicide.

My heart is devastated for his mother. His father, will drink himself into oblivion and I can't help but wonder if whatever he said to Eddie when the police brought him home, is what sent Eddie to that dark place.

We have known this family for years through sports. At one tournament, the mother and I were the solo mom's...our husbands couldn't make the trip so she clung to me, and I could tell she was breathing life without her oppressive husband with her. She talked, she laughed, she smiled....all things that were never present when Eddies dad was around. I saw a very different woman that weekend.

By the time the rescue squad got to their house today, Eddie was barely clinging to life. He was unresponsive, unconscious but he was breathing shallow breaths. On the way to the hospital, he was posturing. (this is a body's reaction to significant brain injury).

Our hospital is a small town hospital, but we are very close to several trauma centers and they flew him there.

As of the time I write this, we don't know if Eddie is going to make it or not.

I feel as though someone kicked me in the gut. Now, I feel terrible for not welcoming him into my home (though, truth be told, very few parents welcomed him, so I am sure I am not alone in my guilt).

I wonder if he needed someone, and that breaks my heart. His mom has been through so much, I cannot even imagine where her head is tonight.


The last word we got last night, was that Eddie is on a ventilator in ICU. Later today, they will do a more in depth assessment, but as of last night, he had a 50/50 chance of survival, depending on what the amount and duration of his lack of oxygen did to his brain. If he survives, he has a very great chance of significant brain damage.

I am still stunned that his boy really believed this was his only option.


My Aimless Infatuation said...

OMG,OMG,My heart is breaking. Prayers are going up that he will be ok in every way. I am speechless.(((HUGS))) to all.

HugeMD said...

So sorry. Sending you and Eddie and everyone my thoughts and prayers.

preppyplayer said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Unknown Mami said...

I am SO sorry. Please let us know what happens. I feel so bad for him and his mother.

Tina said...

Big hug to you from here my friend.

buffalodick said...

I hope all works out.. Bad things happen that were never in your control- don't beat yourself up.. He sounded emotionally detached- which can be a sign of shutting off external feelings to things like a drunk, abusive parent.. it's a survival thing.

OHN said...

Hey Preppy...I much much appreciated your comment. The only reason I deleted was because you used my real name:)Not a big deal, in the big scheme of things I guess :/

Buffalo: You are right. The whole family is always in survival mode. As a child of an alcoholic, I see all of the signs whenever the family is around. There is a part of me though, that (irrationally probably) thinks if I had extended a smile or given off a welcoming vibe, maybe he would have realized there was more to life than his family dynamic.

preppyplayer said...

oops, sorry ohn. That's the way I think of you now- reflexive I guess.

I hope this boy heals in many ways.

Her Preppiness said...

Sending you prayers!!

edenland said...

Wow. That's terrible, I really hope he manages to come through this. Ugh. Sometimes things just get so hopeless for people, it's so sad.

Love to you OHN XO

Vegas Linda Lou said...

This is truly heartbreaking. Don't be hard on yourself for not having him in your house; you made that decision thinking it was best at the time. So sad. Sending prayers to Eddie and his mother, and to all the kids who will learn from his experience.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Whoa! how very sad. I'll keep "Eddie" in my prayers.

Athena said...

That is so sad. And I know what you mean about feeling bad for not welcoming him into your home. But you couldn't - not if he had no idea of right and wrong.

I'll keep him and his mom in my thoughts and prayers.

Anonymous said...

Listen to me, please listen to me. Please do not feel guilty. What was going on with this kid and his family was running so deep and for so long, there was nothing you cold have done that would have changed this outcome. What you can do is show his parents compassion in any way you can.

I shall pray for Eddie to have the best possible outcome.

Jade said...

My heart goes out to the boy and your son. I'm sure this has been a very tramatic event for him. I pray that this child/young man gets the help and support he needs to find his way out of the dark cloud he's living in.

Hit 40 said...

I am so sorry for everyone. Just horrible news for this family. I will pray for them.

Lee the Hot Flash Queen said...

That is a terrible story. Too be that sad or in that much pain to try to take your own life. And, if he does survive to be left with only half a life. So sad.