Thursday, September 30, 2010

Can you be friends with someone you haven't met?

If you had asked me that a few years ago, I would have looked at you like you had three legs and told you OF COURSE NOT.

Now, I find myself realizing that in fact I was an idiot a few years ago and the correct answer is OF COURSE STUPID.

Through this teensy weensy little blog I have "met" some really great people. Not great in the sense that they have ended any wars, but great in the sense that if we met for lunch, we could talk and laugh, or bitch and cry, for hours.

I found out today that one of those friends found out she has cancer. Malignant Melanoma. I know many people think "oh, it's JUST skin cancer". Your skin is your body's biggest organ.

I know she is afraid. She has a husband and two adorable kids. Who wouldn't be scared? The worst part of all>>>>>even though I am certain she will be fine, she will still need treatment and she has no insurance. For a while now she has been unemployed. Where she lives there really aren't too many choices for her. (husband having insurance isn't an option)

She is part of "America's uninsured" that everyone talks about, but if you have insurance you really don't give it much thought. I have been thinking about that, and her, all day.

I am not too worried about her recovering from the medical aspect, but the cost of her care...ouch.

So, yes, you can be friends with strangers. It isn't odd at all.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

If she was a PITA then, she most likely still is one.

Many moons ago, when S1 and S2 were in pre-school I was on the Board of Directors. was a REALLY important position. We made life and death decisions about whether we should allow juice boxes or not, how to make sure that none of the children brought a hidden token from home (those extremely taunting matchbox cars in pockets, or an especially beautiful hair clip, snuck from home ) know, life altering decisions.

There was one mom that took her role in this leadership so seriously that there were meetings that she would be shaking by the end. It drove her crazy if anyone strayed off topic--ever so slightly--with a funny anecdote or a suggestion of change. This woman didn't just want to volunteer, she wanted to be the only one with an that would be implemented EXACTLY to her plan.

She drove us all a little nuts. This was pre-school, not Harvard.

Fast forward to last week. I was asked for some ideas for fund-raising for S3's sporting team, by some of the women that had been involved for a couple of years and they were tired of the same old same old same old ideas.

Of course, when they asked me, they did it in the perfect way, by flattering me. Yep. It really works. They told me I was smart, efficient, talented (yeah, they went a little overboard there) and wanted some fresh input.

I came up with an idea that was met with absolute glee, as it had never been done before, would make good money, quickly, and with little parental involvement (I believe the ones needing the money for the pay*to*play and equipment, ie: the players, need to pony up the effort to have their needs met.) So, all was sailing along. I agreed to do ALL the contacting, calling, organizing they were also thrilled that they could focus on some other things.

After sending out a mass email to all concerned at the school, athletic department, parents etc, I sat back waiting for the responses. Still feeling a bit like a loser from Middle School, I waited for the onslaught of "what a stupid idea" and "where the hell did you come up with that one" comments. Surprisingly, it was met with enthusiastic response.

Except for one parent. Guess who?

The pre-school nightmare mom. Her youngest son also plays the same sport. Her email contained NO salutation, no signature (her name is her email so I know from whence is came), just a brief string of words with no punctuation between......telling me that this idea just wouldn't work.

(She also adores Palin....thinks she is a genius..dear God). It was the best laugh I had all week. Out of 45 emails, hers was the only one that was negative. Truthfully....I think she was probably crazed that it wasn't HER idea :)

Keep your eyes open for her in your playgroup, pre-school, grade school etc. There is one of her everywhere. I think they spawn during the predawn hours and have clandestine meetings to determine who is going to infiltrate which organization. We can't let them take over.

It's gonna be a fun school year.

Oh, and for those of you that were concerned about the state of my marriage. Thank you. BigD goes through these funks and it rarely has anything to actually do with ME. I just take it all personally. He did agree to let me schedule a complete physical for him. Now I need to figure out how to talk to the doc first and tell him to prescribe some better antidepressants. I know how much BigD loves me. He shows it (yes, even in public--but not over the top gross ways) and tells me. He says I am "the glue that holds us all together". He is at a funny time in his life too. We girls have menopause, and men have it too. Nobody can ever convince me otherwise. He would love to retire but can't. Would love to be working somewhere else, but can't (long story for later), and feels very overwhelmed with all things related to home maintainance.

He has always had ENORMOUS pride in his "showplace" of our home. (Yeah, drives me nuts that he really feels the MUST have "the best" looking yard, house, etc etc...comes from his parents that were perfectionists to the max and also a bit of an insecurity complex on BigD's part that he wanted people to see how well he was doing) We have a huge yard with many islands, and "feature" areas. IT IS TOO MUCH WORK! I have been telling him for years he needs to scale back the "show". Finally...he has agreed. We are pulling in all the islands to a more manageable size--mulch alone was costing a whole paycheck--and making some adjustments to ease the amount of outside work that needs to be done. As the boys are getting older and actually moving out, he sees the writing on the wall. No way will he be able to maintain this on his own, and the little Mrs here....I have NO time to be farting around outside because the house is big too and I have more than enough to do already. (Most of the neighbors have landscapers, cleaning ladies etc. We have off and on had some help but part of BigD's pride is that he needed to do all the stuff himself--a proof of sorts--that he was worthy or some other kind of macho BS.)

Anyway...things are status quo for now. Thanks for your concern :)