Wednesday, April 25, 2007

inbox or outbox?

I was cleaning my office this morning while I was waiting for my work to arrive. Some days it is in my inbox by 7 am other days it doesnt arrive till about 10.
The days it is late I get a chance to get caught up on my bill paying, filing, etc. My office is kind of like the hole in the house. Everything lands here. If you look around at any given moment it is full of officey type things but also, socks that were shed after school the day before from my hillbilly kids that hate to have their precious toes covered, homework assignments that I will be getting a call about later with whichever kid asking me to drive as fast as possible to bring that work in because it was due last week so it HAS to be there in the next 10 minutes, reorder forms for magazines that I never have time to read but "they are my favorites" to have a subscription to, and more miscellaneous crap that will probably never be needed.
This also happens to be the smallest room in the house. Thankfully I have a teenie tiny family heirloom desk (you know the kind they made when nobody ever grew to more than 5'1 and never weighed more than 95 pounds) that is very very small. My keyboard, monitor and a few papers basically maxes out the desktop area. Anyway, while I was filing a stack of papers I have been successfully ignoring for months someone quietly snuck (sneeked?) into my office and got comfy. My dilemma is I am not sure if this is filed as in box or out box. What do you think?

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Terrifying the dog

Let me set the stage for this. It was early afternoon and I had yet to get a shower. (Started work at 6 am and got usual). Since Harley has been very well behaved I have been letting him out of my office little by little when I step out to use the bathroom or whatever. He is very content peeking into the rooms and he pretty much stays by my side. Anyway, I decided that as long as all the bedroom doors were closed and all the trash went out this morning, there was really nothing he could get into while I took my shower so I decided to let him roam around. Like I said for the last two months he has been "living" in my office (hey, if I can be there 16 hours a day, so can he). Until lately I had been putting him in his kennel when I have to leave my office for more than a couple minutes. My point is, that he really hadn’t been around when I have gone to shower. WELL….here we are, in the bathroom…he is at my feet. I took off my t-shirt and he suddenly sat up and stared at my chest. He was mesmerized by my boobs. It suddenly dawned on me, he had never seen me naked. I swear to you, he looked at the left one, then the right one, then the left again… If he could talk he would have surely let out a WHAT THE %#$@ ARE THOSE??? The poor boy put his ears back and went scurrying out of the bathroom with his tail between his legs. Lets just say I am no longer the perky, taut, little 36A I used to be. Age and gravity have done their job in helping my boobs, now about 38C, almost line up with my belly button so he probably thought my nipples were staring at him. Poor dog.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Virginia Tech

I have had all these wonderful posts lurking in my head these past few days but as I sat down to write I put on the TV and saw the breaking news coming out of Virginia Tech, my heart is breaking and I just can't be witty. We are sending off out oldest son to college in August. I know this kind of thing doesn’t happen all the time on campuses but knowing that all these kids were doing what kids do, sleeping, eating, going to class…all the things my son will be doing soon. I want to go to college with my son, and follow him around everywhere he goes to watch him and keep him safe. No, I am not really going to do that, I just wish I could. When my children were placed in my arms, my entire world changed. I no longer think about myself first, in fact I rarely think about myself at all. I have a keen awareness of how the mothers in the animal kingdom feel. I would lay down my life without hesitation to protect my children. God help the person that causes my child harm. Ironically, my son and I spent all day last Thursday at his future campus getting his dorm assignment, room-mate name, and actually scheduling all of his first semester classes. Throughout the day we were split up and all the kids went with current students or advisors while the parents had sessions about how we are paying for the education, what meal plans to buy, grants and scholarships et cetera. By the time we were reunited we had been there for 7 hours (exhausting but extremely well organized day) and we had the option to stay for one more "talk" or we could leave if we had other places to be since all the scheduling and other imperatives were done. We chose to leave. We were both hungry and tired and felt that we had asked every question possible, gotten answers and we were set for fall semester to begin. Now the kicker….the last talk (that hardly anyone stayed to listen to) was about campus safety. Oh how I wish I had stayed. You can be assured that I will be calling the campus police dept to ask them how they would handle a situation like this at sons campus. Strangely, if I had a daughter I would have stayed…how is that for a double standard?! My son is a scrawny, tall, lanky, very un-athletic guy and yet I always assume that guys won't be victimized. I should know better. Many of the blogs I read are people struggling to become parents like we were. I always knew that I would love my children because I knew how much my mom loved me. At least I thought I new. I truly didn’t understand the sheer depth of her love for me till I became a mom. I can't even begin to think about losing a child in this manner. I have lost 4 babies (strangely all girls) but it was before I had ever held them. Those losses were horrible but while I loved those unborn girls, I hadn't held them while they were vomiting from illness, cleaned and bandaged their boo-boos, made their favorite foods just because I was thinking about them that day, surprised them with a note in their lunches et cetera. To all of you that are still struggling, please don’t give up. I KNOW infertility is at times mind numbingly painful but at the end of the road when you are a parent, you will have achieved what I perceive as the greatest blessing there is. If you are of the praying type, say an extra one for all those parents that have lost their sons and daughters today.

Friday, April 06, 2007


If you are a lover of all things male then you should skip this post as I am about to launch into a tirade about how unbelievably ignorant that particular species can be. A few weeks ago I had an abnormal pap, then another a couple weeks after that. My family physician referred me to a GYN specializing in abnormal testing. I went for what I thought would be a routine get-to-know-you kind of visit yesterday when Dr. Uterus saw the glint in my eye that he correctly interpreted as a patient that would likely cancel 4-10 visits before I actually came back to have any further testing done. Before I knew it, I was letting him see parts that even Big D has never seen. Dr. Uterus is well known for being a rather serious young man and in my opinion seemed very intelligent but not real comfortable with the face to face (he obviously prefers talking to nether regions). Anyway, to lighten things up (and to keep myself from screaming while the inside of one of my organs had chunks removed by some gawd awful equipment) I told him that at least he could have bought me dinner first. I thought the poor boy was going to hyperventilate. He was stunned then laughed very loud. His sidekick nurse looked at me like I had performed a miracle. The ice was broken, along with my cervix and uterus. We had a few more chuckles while he yanked out several chunks of my innards to be sent to Dr. Pathologist to see if we could possibly get the insurance company (because you know they DO rule the world) to allow me to have all these worthless parts removed and free me of all the crap said parts cause. Anyway, on to the tirade. I came home and while not going into specifics of what I had done, I let it be known that I was pretty uncomfortable and was going to take some pain medication (nice to take even without the pain;) and rest. Okay, I did tell them enough that they shouted EWWW and while running out of the room all thanked God that they weren't girls. As I walked in son #2 was staring out the window (insert my thought of him contemplating life and how to stop global warming) and I asked him what he was thinking about. In all seriousness he said that if the wind kept blowing like it is, and it continued to come from just the right direction, like it is, the garbage cans would blow close enough to the house that they might make it to the garage and he wouldn’t have to put them away. HUH? This one, he has a great future somewhere. Son 3# announced that he was going to friend J’s house and asked if I could take care of the neighbors dog (we are dog/house sitting for the hot little poodle next door-the one that prances around her yard in front of our poor ball-less Harley). Um, yeah son #3, I would love to put on boots, a coat, gloves, a hat (did I mention that it is snowing on April 5th?) and trudge next door to DO YOUR JOB THAT YOU AGREED TO DO—the answer is it before you go to J’s house. Son #1 walked in about then to ask me what was for dinner. When I answered "what ever you find to shove in your mouth" he said we didn’t have any good food in the house (ie: cookies, pre-cooked lobster or filet, twice baked potatoes with bacon....this is the kid that will have a very very rude awakening when he arrives at college this fall and has to live on ramen noodles like everyone else :). I then offered to spring for Chinese food. He looked at me and as he turned to walk up the steps to his room he said "let me know when you get home with it". W.H.A.T.? Since we don’t have any places that deliver in our area we need to pick up. Without going into the fact that I called all of them spoiled rotten little snots, son #3 DID go do the pickup. Later in the evening I gathered them all around and asked what they thought they would have to do if I was no longer here…not in a morbid way, I may have said something to the effect of "you know some moms run away from their families and live idyllic lives on warm beaches". I am certain that the two cats and the dog would definitely starve to death, clothes would be worn till they smelled so bad that none of the sons would have any friends left, hairballs and slime would fill the house and all of the family would be sustained on Pepsi and Oreo’s since I wouldn’t be doing the shopping. In case you noticed that I didn’t mention Big D in this equation, he is a post all by himself. Lets just say, he never had any sisters and his mom was the epitome of a June Cleaver clone. He has never had a clue about anything female and probably never will.