(No, she is not pregnant and no his maleness hasn't fallen off due to a form of crotch rot)
Remember I eluded to the fact that S1 doesn't do 'casual' well?? Yep, you guessed it...he has started to develop feelings for this chickypoo.
He had to head here, to hometown, yesterday for an eye exam ** and since dad and S3 took off for an away football game, it was just S1 and I here to eat and chat. He opens up when it is just the two of us. If dad is around or his brothers, it is all jokes, all the time. But, with me, he is himself because he can trust me (yeah, except that I tell the entire world here-nice mom!)
So, when he says the phrase "I need to ask you something", I know that it is going to be him asking my advice or opinion.
He then went on to ask me what I thought he should do about bootycallgirl. He said they are spending more and more time together, when they aren't in class they are together, and no, it's not always sex. He described her as a "female me" (meaning intellectual, politically aware, etc etc) . I asked if he was himself around her...actually sharing thoughts, not being a smartass, or argumentative -he often does this to create a debate-which he ultimately wins ;) He said yes. He is himself with her.
To me, that is HUGE. He is a kid that has a protective barrier around him most of the time, only letting his true self come through at home. Most people that meet him would think he is incredibly mature for his age (which he is), but they don't EVER see the side of him that will cry or show any emotion.
So, I asked where she stood on feelings, and he said he had not shared his feelings with her. She has told him that she really doesn't have a "reason" to break up with the older guy that she dates/sleeps with one day a week, when she goes to her hometown to work. To me, she is fishing for a "reason". I KNEW he wouldn't be able to keep it casual.
I asked him if he thought, if they dated, if she would screw around on him too. He said he didn't know. (At least he knows enough not to be deluded into thinking that she is not capable of doing so).
I was very blunt when I talked to him about the fact that if he is sleeping with her, and she is sleeping with the old guy, old guy is most likely screwing around on her too, so in essence, S1 is sleeping with A LOT of people. I directly warned him about herpeeez, wartz, HIVv, and just cooties in general. He assured me he was very well versed on cooties and never, ever, is without protection.
So, when he left late last night to go back to college town, he said he was going to talk to her and ask her if he was enough of a "reason" to let the old guy go.
To say I have mixed feelings is an understatement. My only requirement in life is that my sons are happy. When they pick a mate, I will welcome them with open arms. My boys aren't stupid and hopefully can see through any crap and make a good decision. Although, we all know that hormones can make you nuts and blur your vision.
As of this minute, it looks like I might, at some point, at least have to meet this girl. How in the hell am I going to look at her and not think she is a cooty carrying skanky ho? On the other hand, I am sure if my early 20's were held up for inspection, I might have not liked MYSELF, so I will reserve judgement until I can look her in the eye.
Updates will continue as the S1/skanky ho relationship develops :)
**He has horrid vision without his glasses. In fact his eyesight is one of my WORST PARENT IN THE WORLD moments. He was in second grade and a teacher suggested that he have a real eye exam, rather than the ones the schools provide, and off we went. (In my defense he was my first child and I didn't know as much as I do now). The eye doc determined that yes, S1 did need glasses. On the day of the fitting, he looked so cute and wasn't bothered at all by wearing the things. As we walked out of the office and he looked up the street...he stopped dead in is tracks. Up the street was our towns old movie theater. It showed hit movies in what is called 'second run', meaning they had been out and popular earlier and this theater snagged them the second time around. He looked at me and said "mom..The Lion Kin@ is at the theater" I said I knew, and told him to hurry up, we had to get somewhere. He then looked and me and said "but mom, I can SEE THE WORDS".
You could have dropped a piano on me right at that moment and I wouldn't have known. My child was telling me that for all of his 7 years, he couldn't see things beyond the two foot distance of his nose. He was reading and writing several years beyond his age, but couldn't see the chalkboard in his class.
The whole ride home, he was mesmerized by the sights. He told me, when he was older, that he had no idea that anyone could see that the leaves on the trees weren't just a mass of green color when driving by.. that you could actually see the shapes of the leaves.
I still have tremendous mommy guilt that I wasn't the one that saw his problem....but I thanked that teacher for changing his life.