Thursday, October 08, 2009

I swear

I had the craziest conversation today with an office manager of a former client. This client switched to an in-house electronic records system so they didn't need my services any longer (if you have been reading for awhile, this is the client that had no intention of telling me they were switching of their staff was concerned about me not knowing, and being cut off financially without any warning and she told me....yes, it is that office, and that manager that knew for 4 months about the change before I ASKED HER about the "rumor" going around that they were changing.

Last April, I had written her an email asking if they were planning on returning my digital equipment to me. They had a total of 5 units that retailed at close to $300 each. I had let the client use them, at no charge, since I was providing their tr@nascription. Once they converted and wanted to keep the units "just in case", I told them I would need to charge her a nominal fee each month ($10 per recorder) so they could continue to leave them in a drawer gathering dust, rather than me using them for another client.

During our email exchange in April, the manager informed me that they would like to return 2 and keep 3 for incidental use, so the $30 a month (I used to bill out about $1000 a month to them) was a courtesy to them. Two weeks ago, I emailed her again, telling her that since I had not had any work from them in close to a year, I would either like to have my equipment returned, or if they desired, they could re-think the purchase of the remaining 3 units. I told her new they retailed for $300 per unit, but that because of the fact that they were now "used" (though in perfect condition) I would only be asking $150 each. (This is what these units are going for on Ebayy and Am@zon).

I never got a response.

So I sent another email.

No response.

One day I had the need to speak with one of their staff regarding a personal matter and asked her if the nasty manager had quit---nope, she was still there making everyone crazy.

So, today, S3 needed to see a doctor and his doctor happens to be one in that practice.

When I called for an appointment, I told the girl to tell manager that I would be in and wanted to see here either before or after S3's appointment. When we got there, she summoned me into an exam room, glared at me and very defensively stated " I sent you an email twice"...this is before I even had a chance to say--hey, how ya' doin? So right off the bat she was defensive.

So, I very politely repeated the information that was in my very polite email, requesting the return of my equipment or payment for purchase.

She scrunched up her nasty little face and said with great attitude "how much are they??" (seeing it in writing does not convey, in the least, the snottiness of the tone). When I told her they were the same as I had stated in the email, $150 per unit, she harrumphed and said "THAT'S $300 DOLLARS".

I then corrected her, telling her that in fact they had 3 machines, not 2, and she gritted her teeth...honest to god, and started to argue with me. I wonder why for the last year she has been paying me $30 a month for 3 units if she only had 2...hmmmmmm.

She said "but we still use those" ok, but they are MINE and I either want them back or you can buy them from me--flake. She had the audacity to tell me they are using my equipment and don't want to have to install another (extremely-brainlessly-simple) program with new units, into their computer, and expected me to say,,,,,oh, that's fine, keep using them.

I told her that I have another client that needs units from me, and I either needed those back (since I no longer receive any work from them, I think I have been rather generous in not getting them back before now!) or bought out, so I could in turn, supply the other client.

So after listening to her argue, watching her face turn red, and seeing her head, damn near explode, I told her I would check my records (knowing that, I am not only a hoarder of useless crap in my house, I also hoard emails ;)

I had put all of our earlier communication from April in a mail folder, so when I got back to my office, I opened the mail and forwarded it right back to know, the one where she told me they were returning 2 of the 5 units. Now, I am not a genius, but I am pretty certain that leaves 3. All the details were laid out in that April email...cost, alternatives etc etc.

Later this afternoon, I got another email from her. She wanted me to ONCE AGAIN, tell her the cost "as you said to me today" (even though she had hit reply to me, from the email that already had the info--duh) so she could present it to the docs.

Being a complete sarcastic bitch that I am, I simply copy/pasted the old email, on top of the chain of emails, only adding the line "as I told you earlier today, and also stated in my previous email of April 6th".......

Let her try to tell the docs that this came "out of the blue". No way sistah. I have a paper trail of your lower case, non-punctuated, no greeting emails.

Trust me, the next time I have to take S3 to see the doc, he will get the truth from me. I am a bitch like that.

To be continued...........


My Aimless Infatuation said...

"I am a bitch like that." I think you just called the wrong person a bitch........she proved she is one.

Tina said...

You rock girl.

Ina in Alaska said...

Ok. You have been patient beyond belief. Just call her office, tell them exactly when you will arrive and that you expect your equipment to be ready for pick up. If they are not there or if there is any further delay hand them a demand letter and stick to it. Enough already!

preppyplayer said...

I think you have been MORE than reasonable and for some reason that made her think that she could bully and push you around...
Why do so many people see kindness and generosity as a weakness?

It looks like you are going to have to show her that you are a kind and generous FORCE to be reckoned with!

hope548 said...

That is completely ridiculous. My favorite part is that you have records of all of her lower-case, unpunctuated, greetingless emails. Yeah, I'm a bit of a grammer freak too.

Comedy Writer Jerry Perisho said...

It's a good thing she works for doctors. She'll need one to remove your foot from her ass.

Eliza said...

I agree with the have been way more patient than I could have been! Can't wait to hear the rest!

buffalodick said...

Did you ever notice how men get along with women, better than women get along with women? I love a good cat fight, but girls- get along!

Dan said...

Amazing how clients seem to have one way memories. And it usually is the middle management layer and not the higher ups that seem so odd.

Anonymous said...

You're not a bitch, you just won't allow yourself to be steamrollered by a BULLY! Frankly, I'd just give her 48 hours to have your equipment ready to be picked up.