Thursday, October 29, 2009

High school--friends or foes

Did all of you love your high school years? Most of my adult friends go on and on about all the fun they had in high school...best years ever....would love to go back....

I must be very very odd. I really don't remember much about high school, and the parts I do remember, do not include a significant amount of great times.

I was always hovering between mortified, terrified, and humiliated.

I have recently been contacted by a couple of girls from my Alma Mater about a possible reunion. They actually seem very nice. I do remember them, and remember that they were the "smart ones" in the class.

We have reconnected via f@cebook and to be honest, when I got the first note from one of them, I IMMEDIATELY felt 15 again. Nervous, envious, uncomfortable, wondering why they friend requested me, was there an ulterior motive, did they just want to see if I had gotten fat...did I say insecure?

Today, after I sent a catch up letter to one, she sent one back. She said (and these are her words) I must admit I was quite surprised to read that you considered yourself, shy and insecure in high school, I remember you as a friendly girl who was nice to everyone.

I had to read that twice. Certainly she couldn't be remembering ME. It is so strange to hear how other another person observed me to be.

If I was nice to everyone, it had to have been because I was terrified of being made fun of for not being rich (it was a private girls school), for not smoking pot (though there was that one time in a cornfield...never mind), for not drinking (I drank B@@nes Farm Strawberry Hill with my friends from the wild public school) and I was dating a senior from the wild public school when I was a sophomore (and he was reaaallly hot), and I never went to any of the parties that the cool girls had (though, since I was never actually invited, that wasn't a stretch).

It was a long 4 years of my life that weren't exactly fun. My home life was a little hard (bizarre step-father) and I felt very disconnected from people--I thought. I didn't find out till years later that I most likely was suffering from a combination of anxiety and depression. If I had only known then.....I wonder how my life would have been different.

So~~what were your high school years like?

11 comments:

My Aimless Infatuation said...

Sorry I don't have anything to say about that except..........DITTO!

Fiona of Cork said...

I had friends...but I was incredibly insecure. I drank and smoked and did drugs and would have had sex with anyone who was willing to have me (and did with a few). When I think of HS I am embarrassed. I was smarter than most, but my home life and my complete inability to deal with day to day life kept me from being anything or anybody.

The only way I'd ever re-live those days would be if I could "know then what I know now".

Baylee and Blair's page said...

I HATED my High School years... will never go back to it! I think my Mom had something to do with it though... she was LITERALLY the strictest parent EVER! Seriously awful. THEN, to make matters worse I decide to go to my 10 year reunion. OMG... those bitches were EVIL! I haven't decided if I'm going to my 20 year, but I have 6 years to think about it!

Hugs - Tiff

*mary* said...

I really did not enjoy most of high school, hell- school PERIOD. I suppose it could be fun if you are raised to have a self-esteem, or come from money. I don't know, as I had neither.

Gaston Studio said...

My high school is having its 50th reunion next year and I've recently been reconnecting with old friends. I was talking on the phone with one of them recently and she said how extroverted I was. I was shocked because I always felt shy. Are we twins?

buffalodick said...

I think we all waffled between sure and unsure of ourselves daily! You assumed everyone was happier, richer, better looking, etc. Years later, you find out a lot of people envied you!

Ina in Alaska said...

I did not enjoy high school. I do have 1 friend from HS that I am in touch with now and then. A very loyal friendship I might add. I am the oldest of 6 children. During my HS years I was the chief babysitter and in those days, teens were not sassy or lippy. I did not want to, but was ALWAYS babysitting. As a result I never wanted children and never had any...(married a man with 5 - go figure).... but do love my siblings. So I missed a lot (maybe) of HS stuff. Enjoyed college though! Went away to school in NY.

Comedy Writer Jerry Perisho said...

High school?
I hated all 6 years!

hope548 said...

My high school years were ok, but nothing that I wish I could go back to or do over again. I wasn't popular or unpopular. I had a decent experience, but life got so much better later on. It is funny though to find out that people have totally different impressions of you than you have of yourself.

Yo-yo Mama said...

I see several of my classmates are on FB. It'll be a cold day in hell if I ever make contact with any of them.

I've given it 20 years. Maybe if I give it another 10, I won't be so bitter about it.

But don't count on it.

awomanmyage said...

For the most part, I had a good time. First couple years were a bit awkward, but then again, so was I. By senior year, I had hit my groove and then did very well in grade 13. (In Ontario, you could do another year that was supposed to be prep for university.) I had a boyfriend by the end of Gr. 13 (finally someone had the nerve to ask me out - not too many black people in our school) and I had an artsy crowd to hang around with. Typically, though everyone hung in cliques so though friendly with everyone, I only now speak to 2 girls that I have known since I was 8 yrs old.

There were good times and not so good times. My family life was a friggin' disaster. I emerged safely and unscathed by major trauma (family trauma not included). I even planned my deflowering at the advanced age of 19.

Oddly enough, I have never attended a high school reunion. That would be interesting.