Sunday, March 30, 2008

CORRECTION we have had him for 6 hours now and we have changed his name again. He is no longer Kramer....he is Cosmo. (Do any of you know how those names are related?) BigD is a HUGE fan. I am too pooped to dig out the cord to upload photos but I will when I get home from work tomorrow (I am not really enjoying saying that....still like the job, love the people, but leaving my cozy office and taking off sweats to put on real woman clothes to go to another office is kind of a drag.) Cosmo is completely adorable, had a bath and smells MUCH better and has already wiggled his way into our hearts. OH...and he loves to cuddle, his favorite place seems to be snuggled up next to, or on top of, one of us.


Well..after an exhausting day of dog testing, Ike, who will now be known as Kramer, came home to live with us. Harley is a little pissed.

Saturday, March 29, 2008


I need opinions and I need them fast. I am going to meet two dogs tomorrow and one of them will probably end up shedding all over my house for the next 10-12 years. I am determined to get Harley a dog. He is old enough now to accept the responsibility and I think he would be a good role model. (He is 1 1/2 after all).

Please tell me which of these you get a vibe from. Ike looks like he could be the same style as Harley and Frasier is just too damn cute. Hurry, I am weakening and feeling the need for another fix. S2 suggested we get both...I told him that would be great, but we would have to get rid of BigD. I am still contemplating that ;)Ike is the beagle mix and Frasier is the cocker.

Lifes simple pleasures

This morning when the house was quiet and peaceful I was trying to decide if I wanted to go out and do something constructive or do nothing. Nothing won.

Around 8ish Harley went into a barking tirade. Those of you that have pets know that they make different sounds for different things. I can tell the difference between his barks if he is happy and wants to play, is protecting us from something (usually invisible to us, but his heart is in the right place), his 'I gotta go now people' bark and of course his talking with low guttural groans. This tirade this morning was a fierce, high pitched, screaming that should be saved for 'hey family, the house is on fire, get out but don't forget my food'. When I went to the back door, this is what I saw--a new enemy for Harley. Never before seen phenomenon in his lifetime...and dammit, he was going to save us from it

For those of you that ever have the chance to ride in one, DO IT! I am terrified of heights but loved every minute of the ride we took over Napa Valley. It is amazingly peaceful and you can see forever. Just don't fly over our house or Harley will have to take you down.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Cheap entertainment

Most of the time when I read someones blog, it rattles the recesses of my little mind and reminds me of some offbeat thing that has happened to me. While reading Dooce this morning (there is a link at the bottom...if you don't read her, you really should, she is hilarious) it reminded me of the time we almost took in a 30 pound wild raccoon. Yeah, I am surrounded by people that regularly encourage my eccentric love of all creatures with 4 feet (with some exceptions, like things with beadie eyes and hairless tails). The only sane one in the house is BigD and we rarely listen to anything he has to say. Anyway....several years ago our sweet old docile dog kept sniffing at the back door. We thought it was probably a skunk so we didn't open the door but I did turn on the back light and sitting on the deck railing was the biggest raccoon I had ever seen in my life. I don't know if I can even describe how he was sitting but he truly resembled a guy lounging in his fave barcolounger, sitting on his butt, leaning back on the side of the porch, back legs straight out, with a bird feeder between his front feet and his nose stuck in a hole that he had made. We all watched him for over an hour. He would look at us as if to say "don't even think about interrupting my meal" and go back to eating. The next day, I went out and filled the feeder again, and did this daily for 4 days. Every night he was our entertainment. Since the feeder was only about 3 feet from the window we had a great view and he had a great view of us. He would look at us but never budge from his spot. All he needed was a beer in one hand and he would have looked just like my stepfather. One night, he didn't come. By that time we had named him Big Mac (he looked like he had a daily mac habit) and we all were worried that this wild animal that we wanted to bring in and sleep on our bed, had been killed by another one of the multitude of creatures we have roaming our hood. A couple weeks later our sweet old dog was sniffing at the window in my office...hmmmm, since there is another feeder outside my window, I thought maybe BigMac was back so I opened the blinds and lo and behold there was BigMac and HIS babies....yes Mac was really a Mac-ette and she had brought her kids to meet the crazy lady that loves wild animals like they were domestic. They came back for a few nights then BigD started screaming at us about needing rabies shots in our stomachs and foaming at the mouth (us, not the raccoons) so I didn't put food out and she moved on, I am assuming with her brood in tow, and hasn't been back. This entire post was because of my flashback when I read Dooce today, so it is all her fault. (I also have another post brewing in my head about butt juice but I will save that for another day.)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My ass has been kicked

Wow..take one "middle aged" woman that already works 60 hours a week, add an additional 8 hour day on her feet, bending, lifting and having to utilize brain cells and you get one whooped ass of a woman. By 7 last night I was having flash backs to my college drinking days where things would get jumbled in my head and nothing was making sense...ahhhh the memories. I tried to sit at the computer and do something worthwhile and absolutely nothing was happening. The darn screen just kept staring back at me. I finally realized that I had to use my fingers to make something happen and that was just entirely too much effort so I packed it in and went to bed to watch the "stars" on Dancing w/the Stars. (I have no idea who half of the people are...I think they are trying to resurrect some sagging careers-possibly). Actually I think I will like the new job...I have my own office area, it is comfortable, the people are great, the boss is full of compliments-which does give a newbie the urge to come back for a second day-and all in all, it is a good job. By noon it felt like I had been there forever. (not in a bad way, just in a comfortable way). Granted it was the first day, I am sure once I get more into the day to day details it will involve a little more thought but the work they have me doing right now is basic common sense, office management type stuff and it's a little like slipping on a pair of old slippers that had gotten pushed to the back of the closet that you found again by accident. So, two or three days a week I will be leaving the comfort of my holey crotched sweats, slipping on real woman clothes and going to work. OHHH...clothes. Speaking of clothes....I had to shop this weekend. I will just say that I AM NOT A SHOPPER. I really do not enjoy it. I find stores to be crowded with narrow aisles, clothes jammed on racks and confusing signs. Needless to say, I try to get in and get out as quickly as I can and when you have NO business clothes any more and you are basically starting from scratch it is a traumatic experience. I managed to come out with 4 pairs of pants, a few sweaters, tops, a couple bras, dress sox etc and it only cost me what my first check will hopefully cover. I guess that means that I am working my first two weeks for clothes....kinda like a hooker I guess.

Saturday, March 15, 2008


This is directed to you or any of you that are familiar with the ways of the Canadians.....Starting Monday S1 is on spring break from college, he is 19, and has told me he and 3 friends are going to Canada for 4 days. Now the kicker...he is telling me that he is considered an adult in Canada, he can drink, gamble, and basically choose any vice that is legal-(not sure about this one but he was telling me that marijuana is legal there?) and is planning on letting it all hang out. So, my question to you is, should I plan on having to make a trip to Canada to bail him out of anything? With gas at over $3.50 a gallon, I might have to let his scrawny ass sit for a bit. Mind you, this is a kid that is a straight A student and never gets in trouble (except for the post about the drinking incident that landed him in the ER, but the trauma of that is slowly passing with time:) They are staying in a casino/hotel near Niagara Falls. (Do you wonder why a group of 19 year olds are going to the cold north when most of their classmates are heading to Mexico? Yeah, me too.) Any and all input is welcome--as long as it is before Monday because by then, he will be on his way to what he suspects is utopia.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My decision

I called them back this morning and told them I would love to join their crew. Honestly these are some of the nicest ladies you could imagine. They are welcoming me with open arms. The doc is a urologist that has been in a solo practice for over 20 years and has seen it all, and for the most part, his main staff has been with him the entire time. I think that says a lot about the environment and the boss himself. I will have my own office area to complete my tasks and nobody breathing down my neck. If it were another one of my clients I most likely would not have even considered a position like this but this bunch, I couldn't turn down. The lady I talked to this morning told me she went home last night was was telling her husband that I was considering the position and that for her it was a "dream come true". Wow...if that doesn't boost my ego for the day then there is something wrong with me :) Also...I haven't mentioned that BigD is leaving tonight for Savannah for a 4 day bar hopping drinking fest with a motor home full of other BigD types celebrating St. Patty's day...20 years ago I would have been jealous, pissed, worried etc etc. But now, I am looking forward to the king size bed ALL TO MYSELF , eating cereal for dinner (the boys are excited that I said yes to pizza, Chinese, subw*y, whatever they want as long as I don't have to cook it:), I have a local painter coming in to paint the hideous bathroom tomorrow and Friday and don't have to listen to BigD bitch about it not being done right etc--it will be done and paid for before he gets home, again thanks to new job :), and most importantly I most likely will not put on any makeup or blow dry my hair, because face it, I really only do that stuff to fool him into thinking I am still the pretty young thing he married all those years ago. If it were up to me a little lip gloss and I would be done. Anyway, I am now not only self employed but office employed, I get a few days of "freedom", no stove to fire up and I will finally be able to go use the bathroom without the walls making me want to vomit. Wow what a life. ps--I will post photos of the before and after of the ugly to nice bathroom on the weekend.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Silver lining?

I got a call out of the blue at noon today from one of my clients. Actually it is the very first client I ever had. He gave me a chance when I was just starting out and I have been forever grateful. To make a long story short, they offered me a job. In their office. I have been sitting here for the last 5 hours trying to think of reasons why I should turn them down and I really can't think of reasons other than it would seriously cut into my blogging time, I won't be able to watch Las V*gas re-runs on TNT during the day if I feel like it, the house won't get cleaned (ok, who am I kidding, that doesn't happen anyway). Right now, I work wonky hours and make my own schedule. I am usually at the computer from 6:30 am till 9 pm but not continuously, (I guess a more accurate description is that my computer is ON but I am certainly not working that whole time. As some of you have noticed I am able to comment on most of your blogs within seconds of you hitting post. I am attentive~that should be an asset don't you think ;) ? With BIG OFFICE probably going to phase me out with technology, the timing of this is amazing. I can still take care of my other clients on my days off (I would be working every Mon and Wed and 1/2 day every other Friday), I would be working with a doctor that I really like and respect, the office ladies are my age and fun, not catty at all, I can take days off whenever I need to, the office is less than 2 miles from my house, so, someone please tell my any reason I should turn them down because I can't think of any. I will need to do some shopping though, I don't think I should show up for work in my 10 year old sweats with the hole in the crotch (its not a big hole but rather a small air conditioning type portlet). I will have to buy some office appropriate pants, sweaters etc. I am not much of a shopper but I can give it a shot. Hell, I might even be able to swing shoes other than my croc*s. I will have to get back to you on that one. Well, weigh in and let me know what you think. They said want me to think it over but before they left at 5, they sent me a fax and asked if I could start Monday-and added that they are "very excited". If nothing else I am puffing my feathers right now. cockadoodledoo.

Blow your socks off good.

I can only pray that there isn't a Britany or a Paris or a Lindsay in the bunch. AMAZING. I actually got chills and god knows I am a jaded old wench.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

Snow day

I have been a very bad blogger. With the weather, the flu (yes, I had a flu shot but once again it was for the wrong strain,,,,I don't know why I even bother getting stuck with the needle). Anyway...I have let all three of you readers down by not droning on about my life.

So here goes. I live in the Ohio area that has been socked by snow. It is beautiful. Because we are inundated, I can't get my car out of the garage which is fine, since I feel crappy anyway and have no desire to go anywhere. Who cares if the family starves (it doesn't matter that we have a freezer and pantry full of food, they swear they will starve if I don't prepare it, which I have no intention of doing).

Lets week in review. Still no word from BIG OFFICE that they are going to replace me with has now been several weeks since they signed on the dotted line. We shall see how long it takes.

I took S2 to his chosen college for his orientation/class scheduling/dorm matching/etc day this week. Does anyone else think it is a bit strange that they are scheduling all his classes etc in March, when school doesn't start till the end of August? On the up side, because of his prompt attention he was able to snag classes that he wanted and none of them start before 1 pm. WOW. I want that schedule. During one of the presentations (they do this program for 50 kids every day, till they are all scheduled) they talked to us about how the kids come to college with their partying ways already well ingrained. Some of the parents looked bewildered and I feel sorry for them. They are in for a rude awakening. This is the same school that S1 is already attending and I can tell you from the bits and pieces that he tells me, any substance you choose for partying, is available everywhere on campus. In his dorm there is one room that is known for any kind of beer (hidden in the closet while the kids clothes are in a box under his bed), another room for hard liqueur, one for weed and yet another one for any prescription drug you want. These kids are all making money to pay for their education. Sad huh? Don't even get me started on college costs, because that is a post by itself. One thing I will tell you is that every student needs to fill out a FAF*SA form to determine how much grant money etc they are eligible for. The only thing I care to expound on regarding that form is that it is typical government bullshit-example, on pg 5 it asks for a number that is on pg 8 which would be fine but you can't figure out the number on pg 8 without filling out pg 5. Yeah, like I said bullshit.

Other than tearing my hair out yesterday filling out that form, having the flu, spending a day at college with S2, trying to do laundry without getting short of breath (certain it is due to the bug and not my expanding girth, commonly referred to in our house as "winter weight" that I wish would go away), and OH, I almost forgot....on Thursday we brought a dog home for Harley to meet. A volunteer rescue organization in our area saves dogs from our kill shelter and keeps them with volunteers till they find families, anyway they agreed to let us bring this little guy home for the afternoon to see how we liked him and how Harley did with him. We thought he was really cute but after a couple hours of him literally bouncing OVER Harley, we decided that he was a little too much energy so we are still looking for a dog for Harley. (And he was a little freaked out by the hyperness of the visitor so we will be looking for a more subtle friend:).

I thought for your viewing pleasure I would post a few pix for those of you that are living where you are snow free, so you could see what great times you are missing. (Yes, that was sarcastic-I would love to be living in a warm beachy area right now!)

This is out the kitchen window this morning....huge difference from the white-out conditions of yesterday!

Poor dog...too stupid to realize that he didn't go OUT that door so he can't come IN that door. I honestly think he would have sat there for hours-he is so sweet. When we yelled for him to come in through the garage where he went out, he came bounding around the corner with a look that could be interpreted as "hot damn! I figured it out".

In case you were worried about our laughing at our slightly stupid but adorable pup, this is what S2 did when he came in. Yeah, any dog that comes here, hits paydirt. (And NO my couch isnt must be the lighting, it is actually burgundy).

The end.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

Marquee thoughts

Do you ever have days where really crazy random things scroll through your head like on a marquee? Today is one of those days. I didn’t sleep worth a crap last night thanks to our ever present guard dog. I have mentioned before that we have a lot of deer in our area and on most mornings there is evidence they have been around but for some reason last night Harley alerted to them sleeping in our back yard—this being around 2:30 am. I don’t know if he heard them or smelled them but he felt it was right to come sit on my head to get a better look out the window. No barking, he knows better…but he did insist that I know he was protecting me from the dreaded deadly deer intruders so I got up, looked, saw the biggest buck I have ever seen here before, told Harley all was well and they had my permission to lounge throughout the yard. This went on for a very long time and when he finally settled down, BigD decided it was time to start thrashing again. He finally got up about 4:30 and went to play scrabble online. Then I got cold because he is my version of a blast furnace so when he leaves, and most of the covers have been rolled to his side of the bed during his thrashing session, I am laying there shivering. I find that is when I do most of my random thinking. This morning I was thinking politics, money (or a lack of), college, our heating bill, the state of my marriage, whether we should get another dog (I know, I am crazy), wondering if I am going to be able to survive another teenaged boy (S3 is 13-please send prayers), O.prahs show about giving away money (didn’t see it but heard about it), one of my blogger friends that is sad right now and there is nothing I can do to help, wanting to take a vacation (see above re: lack of money), making a list of all the things I need to do today which is overwhelming, why coaches schedule a sport practice starting at 9 pm on a school night for a 7th grader, and those were just in the first few minutes of laying there. Politics. Okay, I know I am probably opening a flood gate here but I am curious to see how you all are leaning towards. I am usually very slow to decide. I tend to listen and watch and hear pro’s and con’s then make a decision. I have a feeling our next president will be either Hil.ary or B.arak. M.Cain will have a presence but I think people are really wanting a change and I don't think he represents that change. This morning, I THINK I have decided (we vote on Tuesday here). The one thing that makes me crazy is that some people are deciding on either the WOMAN or the BLACK MAN. People…vote for the person that has the ability to get the job done. It doesn’t matter what their sex or color is. I heard B.arak say something yesterday that was like a smack upside my was about health care and that H.ilary wants everyone to buy insurance..B.arak said that he didnt think the problem was that Americans didn't want health insurance it was they couldn't afford health insurance. That is a short statement that seemed to sum up exactly what the problem is. My own brother (who is a post all by himself) cannot afford insurance, too young for Medicare, in crappy health and is exactly the kind of person they both are talking about. Dare I say it without driving any of you away, I am voting B.arak on Tuesday. He makes me comfortable and I think he is very bright, bright enough to surround himself with other bright people to help him make some decisions that are very important for our country right now. Then I started wondering what I would do if someone (O.prah) gave me bunches of money to give away. Obviously there are places like shelters for battered women, animal rescue organizations and a plethora of other places that could use the money but usually these places are well mentioned in their local medias and people usually step up and make donations. I started thinking that the perfect thing for me to do would be to start a scholarship fund. I know what you are thinking, yes there are millions of them but mine would be special. It would be for the average kid. Like mine. Why has average become a negative?? I want to give money to the kind of kid that is going to have to go to college using student loans, have average athletic skills, are B, C students, have huge hearts and are good people. None of my boys are ever going to go to ivy league, nor do they want to. They love sports but are team players and not the standout 2 or 3 that the colleges will angle for. They are okay in school but rarely honor roll. They are loved by teachers for their wit and ability to relax a class, though at times have been told to knock it off when they get the teacher off topic, an ability at which they excel. Yeah, I would start a fund to help defray the cost for those kids that really aspire to go to college and be productive citizens but don’t have the opportunity to meet the qualifications of the students that are at the top of the class. (Did you ever notice that a lot of those kids come from wealthy families that are able to give their kids the best private school educations and private coaches for their chosen sport? Yep, the families where paying college expenses is not typically an issue, yet those are the kids that get the free rides…hmmmm). So let me know what some of your random early morning thoughts are, I have to get back to work to pay the above mentioned heat bill since O.prah hasn’t called yet this morning.