I loved this letter that Jane Devin wrote as an open letter to expectant girls. I WOULD NOT recommend viewing the video if you are having a fragile day. It is heartbreaking. But....the letter is very well written and it is something I think every highschool should post in the girls restooms. http://janedevin.com
I am sticking a link here that if you are in the process of IF or adopting, you may not want to watch as it has some pretty cute kids in it. BUT, you may want to click the link anyway as the money raised is for a very very important cause. Autism has touched my heart and soul and it has become almost an epidemic and the research is not being done. The video is about 3-4 minutes long but the money raised is well worth your time. The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure for autism. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your loved ones. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. This is very moving and a great way to contribute!http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214
Well....I guess I should stay away from my keyboard when I am upset, my fingers pound out profanities when I am not looking. I re-read my post from yesterday and while I am still in shock I have so many things to be thankful for and I can't forget that. Strangely enough, BigD thinks that I am taking this situation too personally. I can't help it. I feel like I am being kicked to the curb but nobody has bothered to tell me...when they will, is yet to be seen. From a business standpoint, if I were their office manager I would have switched to EMR before now. Economically it does make sense. I just don't like the way it "isn't" being handled. I told the boys we are going to have to really watch our spending and they were all great and understanding. It's a little funny...they all think this is no big deal. Maybe I AM over-reacting but when I am worried about making the house payments, gas, electric, food, college tuition and books and the gazillion miscellaneous things that life throws at you, I don't think I am over reacting.
On the plus side, I have been blessed to be able to work from home the entire time the boys were growing up. I was here when they walked out the door in the morning and when they got off the bus. It will be a big change if I have to take on a 9-5 along with the other offices I still have and it will mean less time here but I don't dare complain...I have been too fortunate.
So anyway...S1 came home from college this weekend. He is building a computer for a local business man and had to talk to him about specs. When he walked in he asked if he could get some new shoes while he was home so I did what any self respecting American who is about to undergo a catastrophic loss of income would do...I gave him my credit card and said...go get some shoes son. And from what you can see....not a minute too soon. S1 RARELY wears sneakers. When the other kids were begging for the newest A*R J*RDANS or another trendy shoe, S1 was wearing these. This year is really the first year I have even seen him wearing jeans. He is one dressy dude. Now he can walk around campus and actually have some traction.
Fuck EMR’s . Seriously. I found out this morning BY ACCIDENT that I am going to be losing my biggest account—the one that makes the house payment--- because the office is converting to EMR. For those of you that don’t know what that is, they are electronic medical records where the physician uses a template on a computer to input your problems and it is saved so other physicians in that system can access the data when necessary-a paperless record so to speak. (This is a very tiny explanation but it gives you the basic idea). They are the newest trend in health care and while I knew that someday all physicians offices would be switched to this type of system, this office I was fairly certain would not. There are 3 docs and one CNP in this practice and two of the docs are older and not good with change. The young one however, he is fairly fresh out of med school and is computer savvy so he is the one pushing the EMR. I think the thing that pisses me off more than anything is that I found out by accident. I had a call this morning from one of the office girls about something totally unrelated and she mentioned that the docs signed the paper work last Monday! She didn’t even know that meant I would be out of a job until I told her. She feels terrible about saying anything and made me promise not to let on that I know what is coming. I won't rat her out but I will tell the entire internet community. So it will be very interesting to see if they give me any kind of notice, or just one day work will not show up in my inbox. To give you a bit of background I have taken care of their transcription for almost 10 years. Granted I am not actually an employee but I know them all very very well—they happen to be the boys and husband’s physicians too. Interesting. I have never had a complaint, only praise from them, I have saved their collective asses more than I can tell you and there is a part of me that hopes their EMR crashes and they have no backup. You just don’t pull this kind of thing without even a heads up. As recently as last week I spoke with their office manager and she was delightfully thanking me for an idea that I had that is saving them a lot of grief in the records department. I know it all comes down to cold hard cash. Yes, they did pay me for my work. I just think it sucks that they could do this without feeling any need to let me know that I need to start looking for a new job. If we had an acrimonious relationship I would get it but we had moved past the point of an ancillary employee to that of friend and I deserve better than this. I have other clients but they are single doctor practices and they only cover the miscellaneous expenses of the family as obviously they are charged according to the amount of work they need and they produce less work. I love what I do and I am very very good at it. I do not want to start job hunting.
I am reeling right now and have run the gamut of emotions in the last couple of hours. I am pissed, hurt, scared, nervous, and a few other things. I spent the last two hours putting together my resume…which I haven't had to do in many many years. My references are great so with hope I will be able to pick up more single offices to make up the difference. Since my work is all done digitally, I am not limited to my office area…so any of you docs in the United States reading this, ignore my first word in his post and know that I am an honest, hard working, intelligent, responsible, reliable, well educated woman with needs.
Thanks all for suggesting I keep the bowl. I have it on a shelf in my office. I still haven't decided what to put in it but I will think of something. This was too good not to share. I went to the grocery store with S3 today. I practically live at this store or at least my money does. I only needed a couple things for tonight's dinner so I was planning on popping in and out fast. I got to the produce area and noticed a gathering of people forming a sort of circle. At first I thought that maybe someone had passed out or needed medical attention but everyone was smiling so either they were being very rude or it wasn't something tragic. As we got closer I saw a really cute guy singing--odd place to belt out a song buddy but hey, whatever. Then I saw that he was singing to a girl that works at the store. She was holding flowers, and was blushing a glorious shade of pink. As the cute guy finished his song, he dropped to one knee and asked the blushing girl to marry him. There had to be at least 30 of us standing there watching amid the potatoes and carrots and when she said yes we all burst out in applause. It was absolutely charming. S3 thought it was pretty stupid (he is 13) and I stood there wondering what their future would bring. They seemed so young. He had obviously been planning this because either his or her parents were there with a video camera and others were taking pictures. The blushing girl looked completely surprised and completely in love. It was so sweet and at that moment, for the first time in quite some time, I felt old. Maybe old isn't the right word. Experienced seems to fit better. I don't think I would like to go back though. All of the things in my past have made me what I am today. I am certainly a LOT more confident than when I was this girls age but it would be nice to see if there is anything that could make me blush again.
It doesn’t matter that every time I use it I think of my mom. That was the bowl that she made her tuna fish in…the one with just the right amount of miracle whip to tuna ratio and given the day she added either chives or finely chopped green onions.
It is just a bowl.
It doesn’t matter that when we had egg salad, that bowl was in the fridge waiting for me to grab some crackers and sneak a scoop because it was just so good.
It is just a bowl. I keep telling myself that but when I heard that quiet little crack, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach like when I was 6 and someone just broke one of my toys. I even hesitated before I put it in the microwave, wondering if I should, but it is glass and I put glass bowls in the microwave all the time..just not this one.
It is just a bowl. Why am I so sad that it is going to head to the trash?? Because it is a tangible thing that I can actually touch that gives me good memories of a childhood that didn’t have that many highlights. I can’t believe I am even blogging about this..it’s just a bowl.