Wednesday, May 09, 2012

If I had a fork it would be stuck in his eye

I am so blown away by the lack of common sense that BigD has. This morning he tells me that he was talking to *best friend* who is a car dealer. Great him to death. He took a teensy stuggling lot and over the past 15 years has grown exponentially and been named one of the best dealers in the country. Like I said, great guy and we have been friends since the beginning.

Anyway. BigD has a huge gas sucking monster of a vehicle. (2006-J.eep C.omm.ander)We have talked several times over the past year about him downsizing but because he had a work car provided and the gas sucker wasn't used that often we never did anything about it. So, BigD approached *best friend* and told him since retirement (ie-no take-home company car) he has been burning through the gas and he wanted to get something more economical. Sounds good and common sensish so far right?
Well *BF* said he would buy the sucker outright for $9000 and get BigD into a brand spankin new auto lease with no money down. BigD thought this sounded terrific.


You are going from NO car payment to a car payment every month for 3 years, and at the end of that time either give the car back or come up with the equivalent of about $10,000 to buy it out. (For clarification, I HATE car payments and haven't had one in many many years...if I don't have the money for it, I don't get it)

What part of this bullshit does he not get??

*BF* told him the cash upfront he would be giving BigD for the sucker would cover the payments for two years. HELLO? Remember BigD isn't working right now and his retirement checks blow. I am holding it all together but am nearing stroke stage balancing all the monetary balls in the air.

MY plan was to trade the sucker for a used (ie low miles, good shape 2009, 2010 or so) car. Almost evensteven.

The REAL kicker? *BF* is giving us $9000 for the above sucker.....even in fair shape they b.lue boo.k at $11,500. In Excellent shape it's $13, 900. Thats trade in. For selling outright they range is from $13,600-$16,100. This sucker is in fabulous condition (see above where I said it was only used on weekends and for personal use locally, not even back and forth to work).

I'm so pissed, I'm shaking pissed. I put it all down on paper for BigD in simple language. I told him if he thinks I am being a bitch, TOUGH. He actually listened and thanked me for giving him the facts. This is why I pay our bills, plan our vacations, etc etc. He doesn't research a fucking thing, especially when it comes to mens toys with motors...everything from cars to weed-whackers..if it's shiny and loud it MUST be a great find.

Having said that, he just drove out to go talk to *BF* and if BigD comes home in a brand new spankin leased vehicle you will hear about me on the news tonight. I will be the wife arrested for killing her husband by jamming a car up his ass.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

You waited till NOW to tell me?

So. We have had a few continuing sagas here at chez OHN. I will touch upon one today. FDIL (future-daughter-in-law) called me to ask my opinion about an issue she is upset about. We get along great and in fact she is usually the one pushing S1 to come to our home for the weekend to eat all our food visit. She has a somewhat complicated relationship with her family. She is very close with her paternal g-rents as she lived with them when her mom and dad split when she was in middle school. I haven't met mom, though have seen photos and she is stunning. Dad is HAWT. No two ways about it. His muscles have muscles, and he is styling. He oozes sex appeal and loves to be noticed. He walks with the gait of a man that knows people are looking. Sorry--- I digress.
So, here is the current issue. FDIL and S2 are keeping the wedding very small. Family only, on the beach, about 12 hours from here to keep the unwanteds away  keep it intimate. FDIL's mother has told FDIL and S2 that her good friend Sassy will be driving to the wedding with her and they are renting a place there for the week. At first I thought, oh, how nice. Then FDIL and S2 told me that Sassy is loud, obnoxious and they don't want her anywhere near the wedding. Hmmmm. So, they want her to drive 12 hours, rent a place for a week and then tell her she can't come to the wedding? Touchy. But sensing the vehemence of which FDIL and S2 can't stand this woman I told FDIL that she should be honest with her mom and tell her that just because mom is friends with Sassy, FDIL doesn't have to be, and even though mom feels like Sassy is family, she actually isn't and that BigD and I have many friends we consider family but we are abiding by the decision that the wedding is family only. Just giving her some things she can use to help her mom maybe understand.
FDIL thanked me (we had three or four convos about this subject) and I related my own invite/don't invite wedding nightmare story (for a later date) and she said it really helped.
Last night I am talking to S1 and asked if FDIL got it all straightned out with her mom and he said no. Well, I continued to tell him that it is THEIR wedding, neither stunning mom nor HAWT dad are paying a dime towards any of it so S1 and FDIL had every right to determine who gets an invite and who doesn't. Just my opinion. I wasn't telling them what to do, just answering their question.
THEN, S1 lands the BOOM. If I had this info at the beginning when the "what should we do" question was first posed my answer would likely have been different.
Apparently, though not openly discussed, it is highly suspected that stunning mom and Sassy are *more than friends*. Yep. Apparently when HAWT dad and stunning mom were divorced and dad moved out.....Sassy moved in..... and has been a continuous presence in their world. So after S1 dating FDIL for a couple years, getting engaged, and them spending countless weekends here eating all of our food  visiting, I am just hearing that his future MIL is probably g.ay. Honestly I don't care who loves who (or is it whom?), everyone deserves to be loved. I just can't believe that that teesy weensy detail was left out of the question posed to me about whether Sassy should be invited. Holy shit kids, yeah. If stunning mom is in a relationship then Sassy should be invited....just as HAWT dad's bitchy wife will be going. If in fact stunning mom is actually g.ay. She hasn't actually told her family, but everyone seems to believe it is so.
If she is...... she is not only NOT out of the closet, but the door is locked with a padlock.
This is beginning to sound like a S.pringer episode.