MIXED EMOTIONS

When your children are very little your world is consumed with milestones. The first REAL smile that isn’t immediately followed by a full diaper, the giggle you hear coming from their room when they wake up and see their favorite stuffed bear in their crib with them. The milestones don’t stop as they grow. The first day of school, first love and subsequent broken heart, being accepted or rejected by the “it” kids, driving and first fender benders and on and on. Life is a series of events that hopefully lead you to become a fulfilled adult. One of those milestones is beginning your life away from home. Last year S1 started college and along with my broken heart was a proud heart. I had no concerns that he would not do well scholastically (he made the Dean’s list) but I worried about his social life. He is different than many of his peers. We have always said he had an old soul, even as a child he had visions and understanding that most people three times his age don’t have. This year, he has moved to an apartment and his room here at home is empty. Completely empty. I find that I want to close the door because it kicks me in the gut every time I walk by and see another reminder that he has truly begun his adult life and I can only hope that we have given him enough love and lessons that he can be happy and grab every morsel of life that comes his way. Today S2 leaves. Once again I have mixed emotions. He is my social butterfly. As I type this, he and two of his buddies are sleeping on my family room floor, having spent the night after a farewell bonfire we had last night (I say WE loosely, I was not invited but did provide chocolate and marshmallows). When I looked out back last night the roaring bonfire lit up the shadows of so many of the kids that I have watched grow up. Some of these kids started out together in preschool. They were all laughing and I could tell by the sounds that it was a mix of excitement and maybe a little worry about what lies ahead. It is going to be so quiet here. For all the times that I have bitched that these kids have eaten everything in my fridge, kept me awake at night with laughter while playing video games or watching movies….I am really going to miss that. I know I still have S3 and believe me it will help. He is active in sports and loves to be surrounded by friends so I know he will pick up where S2 leaves off….but…one child does not replace another. They each have their own niche in the world. I am off to load up the car and fully expect to leave the university today through tear filled eyes, and will most definitely consume large amount of chocolate today.

I am wowed

A great blogger has awarded me with, well... an award. Her name is Rebel and you can read her at http://greentshirt.blogspot.com/. She is a lady with common sense and great love for her family and obviously has great taste in blogs that she reads..HA!

The award is called Arte y pico and here's how this works:

"This award was created to be given to bloggers who inspire others with their creativity and their talents, and for contributing to the blogging world in whatever medium. When you receive this award it is considered a “special honor”. Once you have received this award, you are to pass it on to 5 others. What a wonderful way to show some love and appreciation to your fellow bloggers!

The rules for passing this honor on are:

Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to.Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award from Arte Y Pico.

I have so many wonderful reads that it is actually difficult to narrow it down but the ones I am picking are for different reasons in that they have made me think or laugh or left me wanting more.

First I will pick Beagle. She and her husband went through hell and high water to become parents. When it looked grim they persevered and now have a wonderful son. The first time I read her blog (a long time ago) she was in a very dark place and to read her now is a delight.

http://www.cats-in-the-cradle.blogspot.com. She had to go PWP so you may not be able to read her but I will tell you that her world is so much different now.

Next would have to be Rosie. http://www.rosie.com. She is on a blogging break right now but whether you agree with her or not, her blog is always thought provoking. She is the kind of charitable that doesn't talk about how much or where she gives, but she gives a lot.

Next is a blogger that I am not sure how to describe. She travels in the society circle in NYC, is married to a very successful businessman, has a couple of amazing homes and a sweet dog that always seems to be breaking his leg! I enjoy reading her posts because I like to live vicariously through other peoples lives since I really don't have one. http://melissacmorris.blogspot.com

http://awomanmyage.blogspot.com is a woman that is trying to do many things with her life. She writes that she is an actress but since she is "anonymous" I have no idea if she is anyone that I might recognize. I like her blog because it is real. She doesn't hold back and over time I feel like I have gotten to know her through her writing. I am always waiting for the next chapter so to speak.

http://dailycoyote.blogspot.com This is one you have to check out if you are an animal lover. This woman found an orphaned coyote and brought him home and has raised him from the time he was 10 days old. She lives in the middle of nowhere with her coyote and her cat. Her photos are awesome(make sure you go back into the archives and see all of them, if you don't leave smiling you probably have a heart of stone).There are countless days that I would love to be her, live in her cabin, and have the kind of peace she seems to have.

This is especially true after this week. We moved S1 into his first apartment, S2 and BigD had a rousing argument that drove me into the shower to cry (this is 5 days before he leaves for college) and I just got my last paycheck from my main client so some life changing decisions need to be made. Also my marriage is feeling crappy right now so escaping to blogs is my way of handling stress. I don't drink so indulging in a little reading is therapy for me.

By rights they should let me give this award to at least 30 people since there are so many blogs I read that make my day, but there you have it, a few new ones for you to check out.

tidbits of nothing cause I need to get back to posting because nobody is reading any more

Yesterday we had a brief torrent of rain fall from the sky. S2 asked S1 to run out to the driveway and put up the windows in his car. S1 promptly ran out and did the nice task for his brother. A few minutes later I asked S1 if he had taken care of my car too….THE ONE THAT WAS PARKED RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BROTHERS CAR. He gave me a blank look. The look of a person that was just told that Santa Claus at M.acy’s was really a big old fat pervert. How could a 13 year old close a sunroof and windows on a car and completely ignore the car RIGHT NEXT TO IT? I asked him if it truly didn’t even occur to him to take care of my car too. He said he never even gave it a thought. I am hoping he doesn’t have brain rot. Also on the work front…I made a mistake today and nice doctor was not pleased with me. Without giving a lot of identifying detail, I inadvertently made a patient wait 45 minutes for his appointment while 2 other patients went ahead of him. It was completely my fault and I didn’t even know I did it till the patient came up to the desk and started bitching. (I will tell you that he wasn’t that nice even before he waited…he showed up with a stick up his ass-well, not a real stick but you know what I mean). Anyway, when he came out, I copped to what I did and apologized to him so he wouldn’t blame the doctor on being a tardy butt. This patient was absolutely stunned that I apologized. He thanked me three times before he left for being up front with him. As for the doctor, well he didn’t give me a sunny buh-bye before I left today but I know he will get over it. I have been there 4 months now and this is my first goof and even though I am this close to perfect, I am allowed an error once in awhile. Besides, I have been paying attention and doc doesn’t wash his hands after using the potty. It is right beside where I sit at work and he goes, flushes, zips and is out the door...ewwwwww.

THURSDAY THOUGHTS

Since my last post was such a downer I thought I should post about something ridiculous or stupid so I thought I would throw out a challenge for any of you reading this to come up with one tip or hint that you can share that would make some annoying task easier or at least less gross or disgusting. I will start with a couple of little tricks that I use that actually work. Have you ever had a problem with ants? This morning I came down to the kitchen to find the pups bowl surrounded with 458,376 ants…teeeeeennnny ones, microscopic even but they were there and I saw them. After hitting them with a squirt of this wonderful natural cleaner that smells like grapefruit (it didn’t kill them but slowed them down so I could come in for the kill with a wad of paper towels), I got out the baby powder. Yep, you sprinkle a little but along the baseboards (or even outside the foundation of the house) and the ants won’t cross it to come in. Nifty little Thursday thought for you. If you like to watch hummingbirds, don’t waste your money buying the special food for the feeders. The flatter the feeder the better by the way. The directions for home made nectar call for 4 parts water to 1 part sugar but since I insist on being the favorite feeder in the neighborhood, I do 3 cups of boiling water to 1 cup of sugar. Fill the feeder (yes, of course I let it cool first, I am not wicked) and stick the rest in the fridge. I have 3 or 4 birds there at a time most of the time. (the baby powder trick works to keep ants away from the feeder too…just sprinkle around the ground under the feeder (if you have it on a pole et cetera) and repeat after a rain. Now it is your turn….give me 1 or 2 tips that you have either learned or come up with on your own.

family-who says we have to love them???

Love thy brother. Whoever wrote that in the bible, didn't know mine. Why is it that we cherish our friendships but wish some of our family members would crawl under a rock and not come out?? I just spent the week from hell with my brother, uncle robb and let me tell you, it wasn’t pretty. It started when he pulled in the driveway. I was on my way out, back to work after running home to pick up a flash-drive I had forgotten. It was my birthday and the boys had gotten me a huge pizza sized cookie for dessert later that night. As I was flying out to my car, I yelled jokingly to the boys to leave me a piece (it is survival of the fittest here, eat it before someone else does) and uncle robb says “yeah, you LOOK like you need a cookie”. Okay, in print that doesn’t come across with the condescending tone or eye roll or snicker. This is waaaayyyy more than brother/sister teasing. He is mean. He has always been mean. He was the kind of brother that would tickle me until I would cry, mean. The entire time he was here he was sarcastic, obnoxious and derogatory to me and to my kids. (BigD was away for a few days). He talked to the boys about if they were getting drunk, getting “lai.d”, keeping it “in their pants”, which girls on TV had fake “tit*s”. He even went as far as telling S2 that one of his 17 year old friends had “work done on her tit.s” and he knew this because of their shape. I have known this girl for years and years and trust me, nothing has been altered. At one point a good friend of mine was here wishing me a happy birthday and he started talking about an e-mail he wanted to remember to send S1…you know, the one with the “hot college bab.es”…..this friend has two beautiful daughters in college. We exchanged looks and she left, wishing me luck for the rest of his visit. The boys told me when he left that they think he is becoming one of those creepy old guys that needs to be kept away from high school girls. He knows everything, and when you start a conversation he hijacks it immediately and it becomes a one sided soliloquy of how freaking fabulous he is. In his world, nobody can come close to him in brains, or looks…..sadly he has lost all of his mirrors. A little back story here…he has been married and divorced twice, hates both “cun*s” that had the brains to leave him, doesn’t work and lives off a royalty check he gets twice a year for a business that he worked briefly and is very lucky that the checks still come. He has no health insurance so he shows up at doctors and hospitals to be fixed with never having any intention of paying, then laughs about it. He even stiffed people BigD and I know that helped him medically in the past. I was humiliated….he didn’t care. (These were doctors that I socialize with and now feel extremely awkward with them). Trust me when I tell you that this is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I have decided that before he makes a return visit I will have a very direct talk with him about how he is to behave here. When three teenage boys are disgusted and embarrassed by the graphic obnoxious attitude of someone, that is saying something, as most things gross are hilarious to them. S1 told me he believes that uncle robb stopped maturing around age 12 and that S3-who is about to start 8th grade, has more class, tact and common decency than his 60 year old uncle. Well put S1, well put. Once I recover from this visit, I will post some fun posts. I just had to get this out there so my blood pressure would come down.

I almost forgot-where are you TOPCAT??

Topcat, I can't quit you. I need to know you are all doing ok. If you care that I care, email me with the new password. I need my dose of Topcat's doings.

Alphabet soup including DNR and CYA

Do you know what CYA stands for? It is a common term where we live meaning ‘cover your ass’. I am in the midst of dealing with a bunch of doctors that are doing a bang up job of CYA. We have a 91 year old auntie that is circling the drain and is a DNR (meaning do not resuscitate in case of being found unresponsive basically). Well dear old auntie, I will call her Ezmerelda because it could be her name. I am pretty sure people named their babies things like that back in 1917. Anyway, Ezzie has been going downhill for the past year. Up until then she was living on her own and other than not bathing and using her favorite chair for a toilet, she was getting along okay. About 2 months ago we had a family meeting and decided that Ezzie needed to have someone checking her throughout the day and since she lived about 2000 miles away, it was hard to pop over on a lunch break. We moved Ezzie and all her belongings to an assisted care apartment near us. This place is screwing her over to the tune of about $6000 a month but she gets 3-6 meals a day so hey, I guess it is a bargain. Starting about 3 weeks ago we noticed a rapid decline in her condition. Like I said, SHE IS 91, so we weren't very alarmed. She talks all the time about wanting to be with her parents and all her sibs (they are all supposedly in heaven but we aren’t too sure as a couple of them that weren't very nice really probably went to hell). Ezzie is tired. Tired of living, tired of pain, tired of being old and just plain old tired. She is confused, getting a tad nasty and not breathing all that well. She has COPD which is a lung condition that decreases a persons ability to breathe without struggling. Without going into a ton of medical info, your oxygen level in your blood should be ideally in the high 90’s. Ezzie’s runs around 75. Two weeks ago it plummeted to 48, yes, 48. That level is pretty much around the time that St. Peter is deciding whether he should open the gates. Here begins our saga of the local doctor playing CYA. He insists on admitting her to the hospital every time her oxygen level dips. Dear doc, we KNOW it is dipping, she is 91 and wants to die. We have told you over and over that she is a DNR, these are HER wishes, signed. As I write this she is in the hospital for the second time in two weeks and has been there for 3 days. The doctor is waiting for some "lab results" to see if she can go back to her apartment and sit in her chair and refuse to take a bath. Does he really think with her condition that he is going to cure her? Has he noticed that she rips out the nasal canula as soon as his back is turned? Has he heard her when she tells me he is “worthless”? How do you cure 91?? We have tried to tell Dr. gonnapullherthrough, that he won’t be sued if she dies. He really doesn’t need to admit her every time she starts to head toward the light. This may sound cruel but it really isn’t. If you knew her you would know she is ready to let go. But instead we sit with her at the hospital and answer the same questions over and over to everyone who walks in. Last night she wanted a piece of pie. I was told by the nurse she had to ask the doctor if Ezzie could have it. Give me a break….if I make it to 91 and want a fucking piece of pie, GET ME ONE! For cripe sake, she doesn’t have any dietary restrictions, she only has 2 teeth left so I was going to get her something soft, she eats like a horse (think 2 breakfasts, 2 lunches and 2 dinners, all mushed of course…not so much out of actual hunger, she just forgets that she has already eaten) and in my opinion if she wants to eat chocolate covered farts let her. I need to go get my living well in order. today. Shit, what a week!

NYC readers-Dr. Deb, EVI-and any others

Hey gang...I am making plans to be in NYC for a longish weekend from 9-11 through 9-14 for the memorial activities...I need advice. I want to see a play, get into the VIEW for a taping on the 12th, eat great "local" food, no tourist traps or chain restaurants, great shopping (maybe chin*atown--love the bags. I am sort of known in my circle as a bag whore) and we are staying at the New*Yorker hotel on 8th ave. So...suggestions are welcome. AND...if you want to meet me for a quick breakfast, I'm buying :) (I would love to meet you blog ladies). We have gone to NYC several times for the memorial activities since the attacks. As I mentioned before, BigD is in "law enforcement" and has some ny*pd friends and he is very active in memorial society things so we go as often as we can afford. This year, we can't afford it but are going anyway-HA!I have determined that I will be fully nuts (instead of only half nuts) if I don't plan a get away. NYC is an amazing place. If I were young, very rich and single, I would live there. Since I am none of these, I just visit. My only concern is that there is another couple that may be joining us and I am not real fond of the lady half of the couple. She isn't a bad person we just have NOTHING in common. She is 14 years younger than me, she parties A LOT, likes to only wear 1/2 of her clothes and adores attention. Now take those things away and you have me. It will be interesting. I know I will be in the minority when I say I want to chill and wander the city taking it all in, instead of hanging out in every irish pub we see. I don't mind a few along the way but I have no intention of spending my entire trip comparing beer bottles. So, I need anyone from NYC or that has traveled there enough to know, to tell me the places to go. (We will be at Battery Park on Friday afternoon for the memorial parade and Saturday night at Town Hall on W43rd for the concert but other than that, I am open for suggestions).

BEAGLE IS A MOM

No-Not cosmo...the REAL BEAGLE. She and hubby welcomed a son to their family. My heart is absolutely jumping with joy for them. When I first started blogging and hopped around many many blogs of couples with heartbreaking IF problems, TWW's, matches that fell through etc, .....through all of those blogs, Beagle became the one that my heart kept going back to. I felt a particular bond with her and through all the others successes through adoption or birth, her wait was the one that weighed on me the most. So..join me in sending up a yippee for beagle and her new pup. It is her time :)

tidbits of nothing

I really don't have one specific thing to post today. The glory of having ADD is that I am able to stress/think about numerous things at one time. Yay for me.

I have a few questions that I wish I could have answers to....most of them at some point, boil down to money or lack of it.

The price of gas. The cost of college tuition. The heating bills from last winter that I just paid off with our tax refund. (Still waiting for the stimulus check...gosh golly gee, that one is going toward paying off the dentist-so much for stimulating MY economy).

You know when you make a life plan and it doesn't really turn out? I am sure everyone can relate to that on some level. 17 years ago when my mom died she was in the middle of selling her share of a family business. The deal finalized 3 days before she died...while she was in the ICU. My brother and I inherited her profit and it was a pretty damn nice profit. Shocked, sad and overwhelmed at the time (I had S1 who was 17 months old and S2 was 6 weeks old--yeah, I know the old cliche of "adopt and you will get pregnant"--still makes me cringe when people say it). Anyway (see the ADD kicking in here...not even one direct continuous coherent thought;) Big D and I were faced with what to do with the inheritance. Neither one of us are big gamblers so the thought of investing in stocks didn't appeal to us (thankfully because the market has tanked a few times since then) so we decided to invest in real estate. This was the best decision we ever made except our 'life plan' hasn't really worked.

We had planned on building and living in our dream home (which we did and do) and then when the two boys (we had no idea there would be an S3 at that point) were in high school, we would sell the house, downsize and use the money for their college. Sounds like a good plan, WAS a good plan but ---- nobody is buying these big houses now. So, here we sit looking at student loans, weighing good and bad and feeling ridiculous. I would bet almost anything that NONE of our neighbors are even wincing at the thought of tuition, hell they are probably even smiling when writing the checks. Me, well I feel like a heel. I know it is not my legal responsibility to give my kids an education past the age of 18 but I feel like a schmuck. It is almost comical to look around and see all the "things" we have yet our kids are looking at loans. I am not looking for sympathy or handouts I just don't want to feel like I do. The boys know that we are stuck in this situation till the economy changes and we can sell but I guarantee you, nobody on the outside would ever imagine that I am struggling like this. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everything we have and still believe we made the best choice at the time to build the house rather than any other investment options (It has increased in market value almost double) but it really doesn't do us much good if we can't cash in on our investment.

I think I have mentioned before that I want to someday start an "average kid" scholarship. None of mine are athletes, only one is a genius (he made the Deans list-but again, no scholarship for that) and I think there needs to be a fund out there that regular kids that are smart but not brilliant, studious but like to have fun, and kids that will really make the world a better place...they need to get a little appreciation. I would love to know that I was helping some regular kid pay for his books or ease his stress over one semester of room and board etc. It would feel great to do that....maybe someday. If only I could win that lottery.

In other news the notorious uncle rob will be coming for a visit soon. Dear god, that reminds me I need to refill my x*anax. I wish I could put into words what his impending visits do to my family. When he first announces the dates of his visit (he never asks if it is ok, he just tells us when he will be here) there is a lot of joking and laughing about him but as the date draws closer the doom cloud starts to move in. S1 is headed off for a week at a friends, S2 is lining up as many odd jobs as he can and S3 is giddy with excitement (he hasn't quite caught on that uncle rob is a cranky old leach). As for BigD he will spend an extraordinary amount of time at work and upstairs "working" in his office. ("working" is a euphemism we use for playing online scrabble). I explained to uncle rob that now that I am working 2 jobs I won't be able to hang out much and that he will love our pups as they can sit with him while he flips through 120 channels over and over and over again, complaining about all the food I serve, questioning my parenting, telling all of us what is wrong with us as a family, (remember this man has been divorced twice and one of his own kids can't stand being around him), he reprimands my children, yells at my dogs, tells me I have no idea how to "train" a dog since he has had 2 in his lifetime-he is an expert. Basically he is an expert on just about everything yet he doesn't have a pot to pee in. (remember he and I inherited the exact same amount from our mom when she died....he blew it all in 2 years and now rents a little studio apartment and can't even qualify for a car loan-he makes his kid lease it for him. It is so pathetic and sad and yet he is so freaking obnoxious it is hard to work up any sympathy. OHHH and he thinks he is a stud. He will hang out in bars trying to pick up 30 year old's (he is 64---HUGE age gap between us thanks to my own moms IF problems) and wonders why he isn't "scoring". GAG.

I think I am done whining now. It always makes me feel better to get things out there...it helps the nagging thoughts quiet down.

I also want to show you what two months of a little rain and some sun can do with a before photo from April and a now photo from June: I did absolutely NOTHING except pull a few weeds. Gotta love mother nature :)

grkgrkgrk

My husband is a *Cynopterus Brachyotis. Yes, he is. We all know that they have amazing hearing and at 2 am he proved my point. We were blissfully sleeping with the cool air blowing in on us, dreaming of nothing but sleep and I hear “OH GOD”. This kind of middle of the night statement is usually reserved for when a loved one is, say.... in mid heart attack. I jolted awake asked what was wrong and in my mind I am quickly thinking..”where in the hell are my jeans and what shirt can I wear while I take my loving husband to the EMERGENCY ROOM”? He calmly states…Cosmo puked…ON the bed. (husband was sleeping but woke up to the sound of the grkgrkgrk that precipitates the actual vomiting…a sound I have learned to ignore.) My immediate thought was –will it touch me while I am sleeping? Cause, if not, I will take care of it in the morning. He went on to say it is on the COMFORTER. Again I thought if it won’t touch me I will take care if it WHEN I GET UP. Amazingly he went to the bathroom to get what I thought would be a bath towel and he comes back to the bedroom with 1 damp paper towel. (Mind you this is a man that would disappear at the mere thought of going near any one of our three kids when they even mentioned the word nausea, much less vomit). When he was walking back to the bed Cosmo made just two more little grkgrk sounds, so quiet that I didn’t even register that I should react and then he puked the rest of what was undigested from his bedtime snack. After quickly assessing the situation, and realizing that, nope, it wouldn’t touch me, I was ready to give it a quick wipe with a towel and roll back over and finish my sleep. Not so with Mr. Fruit bat. He ripped the quilt off with such gusto that I was worried that the half dollar sized vomit would fling off the quilt on onto the TV across the room. Yes, it was about the size of a 50 cent piece. We are talking about a dog that maxes out at about 20 lbs and whose stomach is roughly the size of a large walnut. How much could he actually puke?? So from 2 am **till the CAT turned on the radio at 6 (I live in a freakin zoo) I shivered. Under a quilt, my boxers and t-shirt are great,,,,not so much with a light blanket and all the windows open when it is 40° outside. Needless to say I am cranky this morning. But on the upside my beloved fruit bat is leaving later today and won’t be back till Tuesday so I can let cosmo sleep on Mr. Fruit bats pillow while he is away. Sweet revenge. *Common Name : Lesser Short-nosed Fruit Bat, They reach maturity at 6 months of age. They have been described as voracious feeders, eating more than their body weight in food in one sitting. **People think cats are stupid. They are not. Ours has learned how to press the on button of the radio to wake me up so he can be fed. Sometimes I wonder who is in charge around here. Oh...and I apologize to all the students that are actually trying to goog*le fruit bats and were directed here. Get back to your project and quit goofing off reading blogs.

rekindling feelings

Last night BigD and I went to see J*ames T*aylor in concert. 29 years ago we saw him on our first date and we have seen him every time he has come to Blosso*m Music Center since. It is a once a year treat that we always make sure is on our schedule and that one night seems to bring a bit of the magic back to our life. It brings memories of all the things that have passed in those years and amazes me at how fast it has gone. The show was wonderful as always but we were talking on the way home that JT seemed to have aged a little…then we both busted out laughing realizing that WE have aged too. Sometimes it is easy to forget that! The only reason that we saw him that first time all those years ago is because BigD had a date that pissed him off the night before so he decided not to take her. We had met a few weeks earlier and had chatted a bit but I thought his friend that was with him was really hot, so I was nice to BigD, but interested in the friend. When BigD called at 4pm asking if I wanted to go to the concert that night, some bizarre person overtook my body and mouth and said yes. I had never ever gone out with anyone 3 hours after they had called, cause we all know that is a sign of a desperate woman and I was not about to appear desperate. Besides I thought if BigD thought I was a good match for his friend he might set us up:) That night we had a blast and ended up back at my apartment talking all night. I thought he was sweet and could tell he had confidence but not arrogance and at some point during that night, I completely forgot about his hot friend and decided that if BigD wanted to go out again, I would surely go. Eleven months later we were engaged and another eleven months after that, we were married. We have had many ups and many downs over the years but our yearly date to the concert has been an unwritten ‘must do’ and for that one night, I can look at him and remember why I married him in the first place. (As for the hot friend…..he and BigD are still friends, he is not at all the kind of guy I should or would have married but we are good friends with he and his wife and his wife actually was the social worker that was directly involved with S1’s birth mother and is the woman that lovingly handed my son to me 19 years ago…it is funny how life works.)

I WONDER IF SHE KNOWS...

.....that I just pooped in the dining room. Maybe if I don't look directly at her she might not know. After all, it's not like it made the ENTIRE house stink or anything. Maybe she will take pity on me and remember that until a few weeks ago I was on my own and could poo where ever I wanted. It's a good thing I am so damn cute.

Along the same poo theme (my last post was about poo too, I promise I will get off that topic after this) for some reason the above pictured dog LOVES to rub his face in deer poo. I am constantly washing him when he comes in from his orgasmic rolls in deer dung. Any hints from any of you?? (The deer are here to stay since we basically built a house in their yard so shooing them away will be impossible, plus they are awesome to watch frolic in the yard).

Things have been hopping at chez nut home. I have dirty laundry piled to the door knob of the laundry room, three teenage boys sharing a bathroom that has become a hazmat zone for sure, and a husband that is making me even crazier than I was before and wondering why I put up with his shit. I have started to look forward to working at the docs office with 3 lines ringing off the hook, whiny male patients that can't seem to get over the fact that I have seen a penis before, said the word penis before and yes even touched one or two. It is very true that if men needed yearly paps, had to give birth etc, they would become extinct because they can't handle even the smallest procedures without thinking they are world winning martyrs. Even with all that going to work is a break from the constant onslaught of mess makers in my house.

Right now though I am fighting a battle with S2. He is 18, graduated this year and is off to college in August. He has decided that he wants a motorcycle. I have seen the remnants of bodies in the ER after car v. bike accidents and it is not pretty. Describing to him what brain matter looks like when it is bulging out of a young mans head has done nothing to sway him away from wanting one. (A bike, not a brain, he gave up long ago on wanting one of those:)

He keeps pulling the "I am 18 now and can buy one" and I counter with "yes but you still owe me $732 for gas, car repairs, loans etc". SO, I have decided that I won't even talk to him about a two wheeled vehicle until he pays me his outstanding debt. Since he is now unemployed (his boss went out of business) this may take awhile and by the time he has the money, it will be snowing again and the thought of a motorcycle won't be as appealing. At least that is my hope.

It is finally wonderfully sunny here today so I am off to plant some flowers that will make me happy. tata for now.

Opinions welcome

Hi gang! Long time no type to. My life has been taken over by the rigors of trying to make enough money to fill up my friggin SUV with gasoline. What the hell is up with the price going up 50 cents OVER NIGHT! I would like to have a nice little chat (in a room with no witnesses) with a few oil execs and let them know what I am really feeling. I may be old but I bet I could still kick some ass. Speaking of work, I have a question to throw out there for you. What is proper poop etiquette in the workplace? Being self employed all these years I could walk 20 feet to the bathroom whenever I wanted to without offending anyone but the dogs. The other day I found that my morning cereal was also a laxative. There is one bathroom in the office and it is right next to the front desk area. Are you sensing where this is going? Help people! I have worked by myself for so many years that I can let pretty much everything fly, now I am entering an entirely new arena. This is a short post to just say hi and let you know that I am still alive. I have been reading your blogs and even commenting now and then but seriously work is kicking my butt around the block. It is not hard, and I even enjoy it, it just takes up a lot of my time when I really should be blogging. OHHH..and for those of you that have been reading for awhile, remember back in Jan/Feb I told you about ‘big medical office’ changing to the damn EMR……they still have NOT told me about it. I finally sent an e-mail to the office manager and asked her and being the complete flake that she is, she gave me a very vague answer, really not telling me anything. So, I am still in limbo and have no idea if they are switching in a week or a year. (It is definite they are switching and most likely it will be sooner rather than later, but hell, I can't get anyone to tell me—you would think I was asking for the ingredients for a nuclear missile). My mole inside the practice has told me she has been told that it will be in place by summer-uh…that’s only a few weeks away manager, wanna let me in on the secret?? I can't imagine not letting any of my employees know that they need to find an alternate source of income. I made it clear to the flaky manager that they accounted for my income, my JOB and that I would like to know some details. I even offered to help them make a smooth transition, offering to supply them with old archives etc that I have amassed over the years and made it clear that they would receive excellent service for as long as they need it (I was thinking maybe she didn't want to tell me thinking I would slack off or something-who knows!). So much for my short post....all I really needed to know is if it is ok to poop at work.

Animals

Hello---remember me? I am the one that used to post fairly frequently, then life happened. I know I left you hanging with the tease of a thought provoking post and that is still spinning in my little head but for now, I need to write about these goings ons.

Well, surgery boy is doing fairly well. He is hobbling around on and off crutches, on and off pain meds. He swears that the Vicod*n does nothing for him yet within an hour of taking it he is crashed on the couch.

S1 has stopped vomiting but has had another life setback. He and his girlfriend broke up last night. It breaks MY heart to hear the pain in his voice. I think we all know too well how shitty that feels. They have dated for almost 3 years, were each others first and only loves (so far) and ahem, the first sex for either of them. I don't know if they will get back together but whether they do or don't I just want S1 to be happy. Of the three, he is the kid I worry about the most. He is the most fragile emotionally and I want to protect him from all lifes bumps. He is in that initial stage of not knowing what to do next and there is nothing I can do to help and it is very very hard for me...but I know it is important for him to experience these things as they are part of lifes little treasures. I would love for him to open up and talk about everything but he is an internalizer (yes, that is most likely why he is being treated for an ulcer). Maybe there are people at school he will talk to-girls I hope-to give him the positive feedback he needs. I really don't think his guy friends have any more of a clue about women than he does. I can talk till I am blue and since I am a mom and not a girl obviously nothing I say is pertinent. HA!

(Actually my big post that I was planning is about S1 and his health issues but I really can't dredge all that up in my mind tonight, it has been a very long day and I still have to go next door to take care of the neighbors pup while they are out of town.)

We had a sad event in the family this week. We lost one of our kitties. He had gotten very sick and it had gotten to the point where the only kind thing to do was have him put to sleep. For those of you that have had to do that, you KNOW how tough that is!!! SO wait till you hear this. I still can't believe it. When I walked into the vet with Putter in the carrier there were several people ahead of me waiting at the desk to pay, check in, etc. Anyway the lady in front of me turned around and started talking to me about how cute the cat was and she asked why I was there. I told her he was quite sick (and I should have stopped at that) but told her he was going to be put to sleep. She HAD to see the sadness in my eyes and see that my heart was heavy but did she offer condolences? Did she sympathize with me? Nope, she ripped me a new one right there in the lobby. I stood there paralyzed while she said that there was no way she was going to allow that, that I HAD to ask the vet for a carton to put the cat in so I could drop him off at a rescue group etc etc. Honest to God this lady ranted at me till it was her turn at the counter. I was mortified. One kind gent sitting there spoke up and told her that it would be wrong to drop off a sick old cat to a rescue group that would never be able to find it a home and would be stuck with the bill for euthanasia. The rant lady even asked the girl at the desk "don't you know anyone who would take that cat so that lady won't put it to sleep?" At some point, I know I made it pretty clear that I was not enjoying this trip but she acted like I was having a blast and it was her job to stop me. She left while muttering how SHE could NEVER do that and how could I do that and actually went to her car crying. Oh, I did ask her if she wanted him and she said she had 4 cats and couldn't take another. I cannot believe that she went on and on when I was standing there obviously sad. When she left several people in the waiting room offered their condolences and told me to ignore her, that she was obviously out of line and a bit of a loon too. So the 28 pound cat is gone and it is so strange around here without him waddling his fat belly across the floor for his next meal. So far Bo, the normal sized kitty seems fine without him and has actually been extra cuddly with me and seems to be fine with being the lone cat with two pups.

SPEAKING OF PUPS~I thought I would post a couple of photos here of the new one and the original one. They have becomes incredible friends these past couple of weeks and are together constantly. Cosmo is already very spoiled. We made the mistake of letting him sleep with S2 and now he howls if he is put in his crate.....so of course last night when S2 was out till his curfew, Cos slept with us..between us...with his head draped over my neck. Oh, how that dog lovesssss to snuggle. If these photos don't make you go "awwwww" then you had better check to see if you have a heart :) And would someone please tell my why anyone would dump this sweet, well behaved, cuddler off at a kill shelter? For the life of me I have no idea.

If you want to meet me

you only have 11200 days to do it. According to the real age calculator that I linked to below, that is how long I have left. www.embedtube.com/uploads/33101407Realage.swf Also, I have a post brewing in my head that I honestly want feedback on. No time right now to write it all out (because I have spent all morning surfing new and somewhat bizarre blogs and not working like I should be). You know how it goes,,,,,you click on the link to someones comment and it shoots you to their blog then read the comments and shoot off to another blog and on and on. Anyway...thought pondering post to follow but in the meantime, find out how long you have left so we can set up our lunch date.

The stuff that nightmares are made of....

I don't have time for a real post tonight but I am stealing Dr. Deb's link so you can all read a scary bedtime story. Folk's this is not funny and has me more than a little concerned. Do you want your goofy coworker knowing what you told your doctor the last time you were there?? http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com

WHEW WHAT A WEEK

and it doesn't show any signs of slowing down.

First--the new dog. He is amazing. I had heard stories about shelter rescues being very grateful and wonderful pets and it is so true. I highly recommend it. This little guy's favorite place is draped across your head or shoulder when you are lying down. Cosmo and Harley have become fast friends and if they aren't together, they are looking for each other.

Second--work. It is going to kill me. Does anyone know a rich little old couple that would like to send my kids through college so I can not work 18 hours a day? No? crap. Hey a girl can always hope.

Third--the boys. So much stuff is going on here and most of it is scary. S1 called from school on Wed night/Thu morning telling us he was on his way home-sick. Once we got the whole story out of him it turns out he has been vomiting for 2 weeks. No food stays down. On Thu. using my connections I got him in for an appointment and they told him he has IBD. I wasn't there (he is 19 now and goes into the office as an"adult") so I couldn't ask questions like..if he has IBD why is he vomiting but not having diarrhea etc. Apparently the lad is constipated too and none of the food is going through the way it should so it is coming back up. THEN...this morning when he was still vomiting, I started asking a zillion questions and when I asked him if there was any blood in the vomit, he says "no just some black slimey crap". HOLY SHIT..it probably IS blood. When I asked him if he told the doc on Thu he said "yea, I told him there wasn't any because blood is red mom"--OK I guess he wouldn't know that it can be black, he is a kid with no medical knowledge but don't you think the MD on should have pressed a little bit for more info?? Anyway..now I am going to ask BigD to call a gastroenterologist that is an acquaintance of his (that calls here frequently with police questions so now the tables are turned and it is his turn to help us) and see if we can get this squared away. My guess is that S1 is working on an ulcer. He is a very intense kid, a self proclaimed perfectionist that puts a lot of pressure on himself to be all things to all people. He is also the one of my three that I worry about the most.

Moving on to S2. When he was in 7th grade he was playing basketball and during a game his knee went right when his foot stayed planted. Since then I have suspected an ACL tear because of his continuous symptoms. He has had many MRI's, CAT scans, etc and none have shown a significant problem but I can see the knee doesn't look right and he has significant symptoms off and on, lots of pain etc sooooo to make a very long story short, he is going in for surgery this week. He will be in a brace for 4-6 weeks-and is hoping that he can be crutch free for the prom and graduation. We had contemplated waiting till summer for the surgery but then his whole summer he would be laid up so since he can still go to class (and probably gets LOTS of sympathy from the girls) it made sense to do the surgery now and get it out of the way.

There is a part of me that is terrified taking in a big healthy 17(will be 18 in a couple weeks) year old and doing surgery but this has been bothering him and keeping him from his beloved basketball because of the instability and I finally found an ortho guy that I trust and more importantly he operates in a hospital I trust so we are hoping this will go smoothly and all will be well.

Thankfully S3 is blissfully normal and happy with no concerns at this time. (Did I just jinx myself??)

So, now I have been at the "new" job for a couple of weeks and I can't work this week with all the appointments, procedures, surgeries etc that will be going on. Thankfully, the office is very family friendly so it shouldn't be a problem. Damn, I hate having to even ask for time off, when I was just self employed there was never that concern. I know I need the job, it just makes me appreciate all the years of self employment even more.

Anyway,,I am sure none of you are wanting to hear more of my worries. You came here for pix of the new guy in the house....so without further anticipation..here he is helping S3 IM his friends~ He thrives on being loved and I tell you after a crazy week there is noting better than unconditional doggy love.

Stressed? I don't think so.

CORRECTION

Ok..so we have had him for 6 hours now and we have changed his name again. He is no longer Kramer....he is Cosmo. (Do any of you know how those names are related?) BigD is a HUGE fan. I am too pooped to dig out the cord to upload photos but I will when I get home from work tomorrow (I am not really enjoying saying that....still like the job, love the people, but leaving my cozy office and taking off sweats to put on real woman clothes to go to another office is kind of a drag.) Cosmo is completely adorable, had a bath and smells MUCH better and has already wiggled his way into our hearts. OH...and he loves to cuddle, his favorite place seems to be snuggled up next to, or on top of, one of us.

ITS DONE

Well..after an exhausting day of dog testing, Ike, who will now be known as Kramer, came home to live with us. Harley is a little pissed.

OH DEAR LORD WHAT AM I DOING??

I need opinions and I need them fast. I am going to meet two dogs tomorrow and one of them will probably end up shedding all over my house for the next 10-12 years. I am determined to get Harley a dog. He is old enough now to accept the responsibility and I think he would be a good role model. (He is 1 1/2 after all).

Please tell me which of these you get a vibe from. Ike looks like he could be the same style as Harley and Frasier is just too damn cute. Hurry, I am weakening and feeling the need for another fix. S2 suggested we get both...I told him that would be great, but we would have to get rid of BigD. I am still contemplating that ;)Ike is the beagle mix and Frasier is the cocker.

Lifes simple pleasures

This morning when the house was quiet and peaceful I was trying to decide if I wanted to go out and do something constructive or do nothing. Nothing won.

Around 8ish Harley went into a barking tirade. Those of you that have pets know that they make different sounds for different things. I can tell the difference between his barks if he is happy and wants to play, is protecting us from something (usually invisible to us, but his heart is in the right place), his 'I gotta go now people' bark and of course his talking with low guttural groans. This tirade this morning was a fierce, high pitched, screaming bark....one that should be saved for 'hey family, the house is on fire, get out but don't forget my food'. When I went to the back door, this is what I saw--a new enemy for Harley. Never before seen phenomenon in his lifetime...and dammit, he was going to save us from it

For those of you that ever have the chance to ride in one, DO IT! I am terrified of heights but loved every minute of the ride we took over Napa Valley. It is amazingly peaceful and you can see forever. Just don't fly over our house or Harley will have to take you down.

Cheap entertainment

Most of the time when I read someones blog, it rattles the recesses of my little mind and reminds me of some offbeat thing that has happened to me. While reading Dooce this morning (there is a link at the bottom...if you don't read her, you really should, she is hilarious) it reminded me of the time we almost took in a 30 pound wild raccoon. Yeah, I am surrounded by people that regularly encourage my eccentric love of all creatures with 4 feet (with some exceptions, like things with beadie eyes and hairless tails). The only sane one in the house is BigD and we rarely listen to anything he has to say. Anyway....several years ago our sweet old docile dog kept sniffing at the back door. We thought it was probably a skunk so we didn't open the door but I did turn on the back light and sitting on the deck railing was the biggest raccoon I had ever seen in my life. I don't know if I can even describe how he was sitting but he truly resembled a guy lounging in his fave barcolounger, sitting on his butt, leaning back on the side of the porch, back legs straight out, with a bird feeder between his front feet and his nose stuck in a hole that he had made. We all watched him for over an hour. He would look at us as if to say "don't even think about interrupting my meal" and go back to eating. The next day, I went out and filled the feeder again, and did this daily for 4 days. Every night he was our entertainment. Since the feeder was only about 3 feet from the window we had a great view and he had a great view of us. He would look at us but never budge from his spot. All he needed was a beer in one hand and he would have looked just like my stepfather. One night, he didn't come. By that time we had named him Big Mac (he looked like he had a daily mac habit) and we all were worried that this wild animal that we wanted to bring in and sleep on our bed, had been killed by another one of the multitude of creatures we have roaming our hood. A couple weeks later our sweet old dog was sniffing at the window in my office...hmmmm, since there is another feeder outside my window, I thought maybe BigMac was back so I opened the blinds and lo and behold there was BigMac and HIS babies....yes Mac was really a Mac-ette and she had brought her kids to meet the crazy lady that loves wild animals like they were domestic. They came back for a few nights then BigD started screaming at us about needing rabies shots in our stomachs and foaming at the mouth (us, not the raccoons) so I didn't put food out and she moved on, I am assuming with her brood in tow, and hasn't been back. This entire post was because of my flashback when I read Dooce today, so it is all her fault. (I also have another post brewing in my head about butt juice but I will save that for another day.) http://www.dooce.com/2008/03/25/chucks-heightened-sense-awesome/#comments-start

My ass has been kicked

Wow..take one "middle aged" woman that already works 60 hours a week, add an additional 8 hour day on her feet, bending, lifting and having to utilize brain cells and you get one whooped ass of a woman. By 7 last night I was having flash backs to my college drinking days where things would get jumbled in my head and nothing was making sense...ahhhh the memories. I tried to sit at the computer and do something worthwhile and absolutely nothing was happening. The darn screen just kept staring back at me. I finally realized that I had to use my fingers to make something happen and that was just entirely too much effort so I packed it in and went to bed to watch the "stars" on Dancing w/the Stars. (I have no idea who half of the people are...I think they are trying to resurrect some sagging careers-possibly). Actually I think I will like the new job...I have my own office area, it is comfortable, the people are great, the boss is full of compliments-which does give a newbie the urge to come back for a second day-and all in all, it is a good job. By noon it felt like I had been there forever. (not in a bad way, just in a comfortable way). Granted it was the first day, I am sure once I get more into the day to day details it will involve a little more thought but the work they have me doing right now is basic common sense, office management type stuff and it's a little like slipping on a pair of old slippers that had gotten pushed to the back of the closet that you found again by accident. So, two or three days a week I will be leaving the comfort of my holey crotched sweats, slipping on real woman clothes and going to work. OHHH...clothes. Speaking of clothes....I had to shop this weekend. I will just say that I AM NOT A SHOPPER. I really do not enjoy it. I find stores to be crowded with narrow aisles, clothes jammed on racks and confusing signs. Needless to say, I try to get in and get out as quickly as I can and when you have NO business clothes any more and you are basically starting from scratch it is a traumatic experience. I managed to come out with 4 pairs of pants, a few sweaters, tops, a couple bras, dress sox etc and it only cost me what my first check will hopefully cover. I guess that means that I am working my first two weeks for clothes....kinda like a hooker I guess.

ATTENTION CANADIAN READERS

This is directed to you or any of you that are familiar with the ways of the Canadians.....Starting Monday S1 is on spring break from college, he is 19, and has told me he and 3 friends are going to Canada for 4 days. Now the kicker...he is telling me that he is considered an adult in Canada, he can drink, gamble, and basically choose any vice that is legal-(not sure about this one but he was telling me that marijuana is legal there?) and is planning on letting it all hang out. So, my question to you is, should I plan on having to make a trip to Canada to bail him out of anything? With gas at over $3.50 a gallon, I might have to let his scrawny ass sit for a bit. Mind you, this is a kid that is a straight A student and never gets in trouble (except for the post about the drinking incident that landed him in the ER, but the trauma of that is slowly passing with time:) They are staying in a casino/hotel near Niagara Falls. (Do you wonder why a group of 19 year olds are going to the cold north when most of their classmates are heading to Mexico? Yeah, me too.) Any and all input is welcome--as long as it is before Monday because by then, he will be on his way to what he suspects is utopia.

My decision

I called them back this morning and told them I would love to join their crew. Honestly these are some of the nicest ladies you could imagine. They are welcoming me with open arms. The doc is a urologist that has been in a solo practice for over 20 years and has seen it all, and for the most part, his main staff has been with him the entire time. I think that says a lot about the environment and the boss himself. I will have my own office area to complete my tasks and nobody breathing down my neck. If it were another one of my clients I most likely would not have even considered a position like this but this bunch, I couldn't turn down. The lady I talked to this morning told me she went home last night was was telling her husband that I was considering the position and that for her it was a "dream come true". Wow...if that doesn't boost my ego for the day then there is something wrong with me :) Also...I haven't mentioned that BigD is leaving tonight for Savannah for a 4 day bar hopping drinking fest with a motor home full of other BigD types celebrating St. Patty's day...20 years ago I would have been jealous, pissed, worried etc etc. But now, I am looking forward to the king size bed ALL TO MYSELF , eating cereal for dinner (the boys are excited that I said yes to pizza, Chinese, subw*y, whatever they want as long as I don't have to cook it:), I have a local painter coming in to paint the hideous bathroom tomorrow and Friday and don't have to listen to BigD bitch about it not being done right etc--it will be done and paid for before he gets home, again thanks to new job :), and most importantly I most likely will not put on any makeup or blow dry my hair, because face it, I really only do that stuff to fool him into thinking I am still the pretty young thing he married all those years ago. If it were up to me a little lip gloss and I would be done. Anyway, I am now not only self employed but office employed, I get a few days of "freedom", no stove to fire up and I will finally be able to go use the bathroom without the walls making me want to vomit. Wow what a life. ps--I will post photos of the before and after of the ugly to nice bathroom on the weekend.

Silver lining?

I got a call out of the blue at noon today from one of my clients. Actually it is the very first client I ever had. He gave me a chance when I was just starting out and I have been forever grateful. To make a long story short, they offered me a job. In their office. I have been sitting here for the last 5 hours trying to think of reasons why I should turn them down and I really can't think of reasons other than it would seriously cut into my blogging time, I won't be able to watch Las V*gas re-runs on TNT during the day if I feel like it, the house won't get cleaned (ok, who am I kidding, that doesn't happen anyway). Right now, I work wonky hours and make my own schedule. I am usually at the computer from 6:30 am till 9 pm but not continuously, (I guess a more accurate description is that my computer is ON but I am certainly not working that whole time. As some of you have noticed I am able to comment on most of your blogs within seconds of you hitting post. I am attentive~that should be an asset don't you think ;) ? With BIG OFFICE probably going to phase me out with technology, the timing of this is amazing. I can still take care of my other clients on my days off (I would be working every Mon and Wed and 1/2 day every other Friday), I would be working with a doctor that I really like and respect, the office ladies are my age and fun, not catty at all, I can take days off whenever I need to, the office is less than 2 miles from my house, so, someone please tell my any reason I should turn them down because I can't think of any. I will need to do some shopping though, I don't think I should show up for work in my 10 year old sweats with the hole in the crotch (its not a big hole but rather a small air conditioning type portlet). I will have to buy some office appropriate pants, sweaters etc. I am not much of a shopper but I can give it a shot. Hell, I might even be able to swing shoes other than my croc*s. I will have to get back to you on that one. Well, weigh in and let me know what you think. They said want me to think it over but before they left at 5, they sent me a fax and asked if I could start Monday-and added that they are "very excited". If nothing else I am puffing my feathers right now. cockadoodledoo.

Blow your socks off good.

I can only pray that there isn't a Britany or a Paris or a Lindsay in the bunch. AMAZING. I actually got chills and god knows I am a jaded old wench. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKCVS57j284

Snow day

I have been a very bad blogger. With the weather, the flu (yes, I had a flu shot but once again it was for the wrong strain,,,,I don't know why I even bother getting stuck with the needle). Anyway...I have let all three of you readers down by not droning on about my life.

So here goes. I live in the Ohio area that has been socked by snow. It is beautiful. Because we are inundated, I can't get my car out of the garage which is fine, since I feel crappy anyway and have no desire to go anywhere. Who cares if the family starves (it doesn't matter that we have a freezer and pantry full of food, they swear they will starve if I don't prepare it, which I have no intention of doing).

Lets see...my week in review. Still no word from BIG OFFICE that they are going to replace me with machinery...it has now been several weeks since they signed on the dotted line. We shall see how long it takes.

I took S2 to his chosen college for his orientation/class scheduling/dorm matching/etc day this week. Does anyone else think it is a bit strange that they are scheduling all his classes etc in March, when school doesn't start till the end of August? On the up side, because of his prompt attention he was able to snag classes that he wanted and none of them start before 1 pm. WOW. I want that schedule. During one of the presentations (they do this program for 50 kids every day, till they are all scheduled) they talked to us about how the kids come to college with their partying ways already well ingrained. Some of the parents looked bewildered and I feel sorry for them. They are in for a rude awakening. This is the same school that S1 is already attending and I can tell you from the bits and pieces that he tells me, any substance you choose for partying, is available everywhere on campus. In his dorm there is one room that is known for any kind of beer (hidden in the closet while the kids clothes are in a box under his bed), another room for hard liqueur, one for weed and yet another one for any prescription drug you want. These kids are all making money to pay for their education. Sad huh? Don't even get me started on college costs, because that is a post by itself. One thing I will tell you is that every student needs to fill out a FAF*SA form to determine how much grant money etc they are eligible for. The only thing I care to expound on regarding that form is that it is typical government bullshit-example, on pg 5 it asks for a number that is on pg 8 which would be fine but you can't figure out the number on pg 8 without filling out pg 5. Yeah, like I said bullshit.

Other than tearing my hair out yesterday filling out that form, having the flu, spending a day at college with S2, trying to do laundry without getting short of breath (certain it is due to the bug and not my expanding girth, commonly referred to in our house as "winter weight" that I wish would go away), and OH, I almost forgot....on Thursday we brought a dog home for Harley to meet. A volunteer rescue organization in our area saves dogs from our kill shelter and keeps them with volunteers till they find families, anyway they agreed to let us bring this little guy home for the afternoon to see how we liked him and how Harley did with him. We thought he was really cute but after a couple hours of him literally bouncing OVER Harley, we decided that he was a little too much energy so we are still looking for a dog for Harley. (And he was a little freaked out by the hyperness of the visitor so we will be looking for a more subtle friend:).

I thought for your viewing pleasure I would post a few pix for those of you that are living where you are snow free, so you could see what great times you are missing. (Yes, that was sarcastic-I would love to be living in a warm beachy area right now!)

This is out the kitchen window this morning....huge difference from the white-out conditions of yesterday!

Poor dog...too stupid to realize that he didn't go OUT that door so he can't come IN that door. I honestly think he would have sat there for hours-he is so sweet. When we yelled for him to come in through the garage where he went out, he came bounding around the corner with a look that could be interpreted as "hot damn! I figured it out".

In case you were worried about our laughing at our slightly stupid but adorable pup, this is what S2 did when he came in. Yeah, any dog that comes here, hits paydirt. (And NO my couch isnt pink..it must be the lighting, it is actually burgundy).

The end.

Marquee thoughts

Do you ever have days where really crazy random things scroll through your head like on a marquee? Today is one of those days. I didn’t sleep worth a crap last night thanks to our ever present guard dog. I have mentioned before that we have a lot of deer in our area and on most mornings there is evidence they have been around but for some reason last night Harley alerted to them sleeping in our back yard—this being around 2:30 am. I don’t know if he heard them or smelled them but he felt it was right to come sit on my head to get a better look out the window. No barking, he knows better…but he did insist that I know he was protecting me from the dreaded deadly deer intruders so I got up, looked, saw the biggest buck I have ever seen here before, told Harley all was well and they had my permission to lounge throughout the yard. This went on for a very long time and when he finally settled down, BigD decided it was time to start thrashing again. He finally got up about 4:30 and went to play scrabble online. Then I got cold because he is my version of a blast furnace so when he leaves, and most of the covers have been rolled to his side of the bed during his thrashing session, I am laying there shivering. I find that is when I do most of my random thinking. This morning I was thinking politics, money (or a lack of), college, our heating bill, the state of my marriage, whether we should get another dog (I know, I am crazy), wondering if I am going to be able to survive another teenaged boy (S3 is 13-please send prayers), O.prahs show about giving away money (didn’t see it but heard about it), one of my blogger friends that is sad right now and there is nothing I can do to help, wanting to take a vacation (see above re: lack of money), making a list of all the things I need to do today which is overwhelming, why coaches schedule a sport practice starting at 9 pm on a school night for a 7th grader, and those were just in the first few minutes of laying there. Politics. Okay, I know I am probably opening a flood gate here but I am curious to see how you all are leaning towards. I am usually very slow to decide. I tend to listen and watch and hear pro’s and con’s then make a decision. I have a feeling our next president will be either Hil.ary or B.arak. M.Cain will have a presence but I think people are really wanting a change and I don't think he represents that change. This morning, I THINK I have decided (we vote on Tuesday here). The one thing that makes me crazy is that some people are deciding on either the WOMAN or the BLACK MAN. People…vote for the person that has the ability to get the job done. It doesn’t matter what their sex or color is. I heard B.arak say something yesterday that was like a smack upside my head...it was about health care and that H.ilary wants everyone to buy insurance..B.arak said that he didnt think the problem was that Americans didn't want health insurance it was they couldn't afford health insurance. That is a short statement that seemed to sum up exactly what the problem is. My own brother (who is a post all by himself) cannot afford insurance, too young for Medicare, in crappy health and is exactly the kind of person they both are talking about. Dare I say it without driving any of you away, I am voting B.arak on Tuesday. He makes me comfortable and I think he is very bright, bright enough to surround himself with other bright people to help him make some decisions that are very important for our country right now. Then I started wondering what I would do if someone (O.prah) gave me bunches of money to give away. Obviously there are places like shelters for battered women, animal rescue organizations and a plethora of other places that could use the money but usually these places are well mentioned in their local medias and people usually step up and make donations. I started thinking that the perfect thing for me to do would be to start a scholarship fund. I know what you are thinking, yes there are millions of them but mine would be special. It would be for the average kid. Like mine. Why has average become a negative?? I want to give money to the kind of kid that is going to have to go to college using student loans, have average athletic skills, are B, C students, have huge hearts and are good people. None of my boys are ever going to go to ivy league, nor do they want to. They love sports but are team players and not the standout 2 or 3 that the colleges will angle for. They are okay in school but rarely honor roll. They are loved by teachers for their wit and ability to relax a class, though at times have been told to knock it off when they get the teacher off topic, an ability at which they excel. Yeah, I would start a fund to help defray the cost for those kids that really aspire to go to college and be productive citizens but don’t have the opportunity to meet the qualifications of the students that are at the top of the class. (Did you ever notice that a lot of those kids come from wealthy families that are able to give their kids the best private school educations and private coaches for their chosen sport? Yep, the families where paying college expenses is not typically an issue, yet those are the kids that get the free rides…hmmmm). So let me know what some of your random early morning thoughts are, I have to get back to work to pay the above mentioned heat bill since O.prah hasn’t called yet this morning.