Sunday, June 22, 2008
My husband is a *Cynopterus Brachyotis. Yes, he is. We all know that they have amazing hearing and at 2 am he proved my point. We were blissfully sleeping with the cool air blowing in on us, dreaming of nothing but sleep and I hear “OH GOD”. This kind of middle of the night statement is usually reserved for when a loved one is, say.... in mid heart attack. I jolted awake asked what was wrong and in my mind I am quickly thinking..”where in the hell are my jeans and what shirt can I wear while I take my loving husband to the EMERGENCY ROOM”? He calmly states…Cosmo puked…ON the bed. (husband was sleeping but woke up to the sound of the grkgrkgrk that precipitates the actual vomiting…a sound I have learned to ignore.) My immediate thought was –will it touch me while I am sleeping? Cause, if not, I will take care of it in the morning. He went on to say it is on the COMFORTER. Again I thought if it won’t touch me I will take care if it WHEN I GET UP. Amazingly he went to the bathroom to get what I thought would be a bath towel and he comes back to the bedroom with 1 damp paper towel. (Mind you this is a man that would disappear at the mere thought of going near any one of our three kids when they even mentioned the word nausea, much less vomit). When he was walking back to the bed Cosmo made just two more little grkgrk sounds, so quiet that I didn’t even register that I should react and then he puked the rest of what was undigested from his bedtime snack. After quickly assessing the situation, and realizing that, nope, it wouldn’t touch me, I was ready to give it a quick wipe with a towel and roll back over and finish my sleep. Not so with Mr. Fruit bat. He ripped the quilt off with such gusto that I was worried that the half dollar sized vomit would fling off the quilt on onto the TV across the room. Yes, it was about the size of a 50 cent piece. We are talking about a dog that maxes out at about 20 lbs and whose stomach is roughly the size of a large walnut. How much could he actually puke?? So from 2 am **till the CAT turned on the radio at 6 (I live in a freakin zoo) I shivered. Under a quilt, my boxers and t-shirt are great,,,,not so much with a light blanket and all the windows open when it is 40° outside. Needless to say I am cranky this morning. But on the upside my beloved fruit bat is leaving later today and won’t be back till Tuesday so I can let cosmo sleep on Mr. Fruit bats pillow while he is away. Sweet revenge. *Common Name : Lesser Short-nosed Fruit Bat, They reach maturity at 6 months of age. They have been described as voracious feeders, eating more than their body weight in food in one sitting. **People think cats are stupid. They are not. Ours has learned how to press the on button of the radio to wake me up so he can be fed. Sometimes I wonder who is in charge around here. Oh...and I apologize to all the students that are actually trying to goog*le fruit bats and were directed here. Get back to your project and quit goofing off reading blogs.