Monday, October 13, 2008
That is what the biopsy was according to the LG that I talked to an hour ago. But, before you jump up and down, he followed that up with "I'm nut shur eef de neele spiriation was well pleeced" so we need to follow up with a PET scan. Apparently cancer lights up if given sugar (shit, I do that too) so that is the next step. And yes, the LG is from another country, and yes, that IS what he said. Translated into English I believe he said~~ "I am not sure if the needle aspiration was well placed"......so BigD will have the PET and then follow up with the surgeon and maybe get whatever it is chopped out. I am supposed to be very relieved, why aren't I? I spent the whole weekend reassuring BigD that all was fine, that we would conquer whatever came down the pike, blah, blah, blah and believe me I was VERY convincing. He said talking to me made him feel so much better yet most of the time I felt like I was lying through my teeth. My mind kept drifting to thoughts of the boys. I don't want them to be without a father. Even though they come to me with most of their personal questions/advice seeking etc, they know that BigD is there if they need him and I don't want that to change. So we got "good" news but not the whole story so on we go. Thank you all so much for all your wonderfully kind words. It sounds nuts but it really made me feel less alone. I had to finally break down and tell BigD that I had a blog. He had absolutely no idea what that was. I told him it was like when his mother had a pen pal, except I have more than one and they live all over the world. When I told him how many wonderful well wishes had come our way, he didn't really get it and doesn't understand how I can call some of you friends when we haven't physically met. I tried to tell him we don't have to sit down and drink beer together to bond....he got it, sort of. Feelings are hard to explain sometimes and sometimes they are better left as feelings rather than put into words. Thanks.