Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Spending my first paycheck, two weeks before I get it.

If you knew would know this is not characteristic of me. I am the brigadier of budgeting, the counter of coins, the furiousest (yes, that is a new word) of frugalers (another new one for you), yet this morning, I spent my entire first paycheck before I even worked for it.

Why you ask?? Because my sons and husband are basketball fans. This morning, pre-sale tickets went up for sale to the Clevel@and C@valiers and I bought three sets of tickets. Each boy will get two tickets for Christmas. They are all different games so if they want to trade with each other, that works too.

I have mentioned before that LBJ (no Jerry, not the dead president), the "King" Mr. James, lives down the road and is seen with his "boys" roaming around in their Escalades. Now that we have the Shaqq man, the boys will LOVE these tickets. I spent the extra bucks to get seats close enough to the floor that the only way any of them will get nosebleeds will be if they get hit by a ball, not from being so far up in the seating, they could swing on the moon.

So how does BigD get to benefit from this? S1 is too young to drive so his second ticket will undoubtedly be used by dad, the driver.

As for me? I am guaranteed a quiet evening with cuddly pups and a good book. It is a win-win situation.

The hard part will be keeping my yap shut till Christmas!

Sunday, September 27, 2009

When is a slut not a slut?

Friday night, we were surprised by a visit from both college boys. S2 came home because he needed to get something on his car fixed, plus he wanted some real food.

S1 called, and said he was bored and going to come home for a visit.

Saturday afternoon I was on a mommy high, having all the boys sprawled all over the family room, rooting on their favorite college games when S1 gets a text, smiles and announces that he is leaving.

For the last few weeks he has been seeing a girl, very casually. Someone he met during a moving party in his apartment complex. The first night, there was alcohol and sex involved. Ew. Once I got over the initial reaction that my son has sex (which, yes, I know he has....I am not stupid, but just like kids don't want to think about their parents experiencing the horizontal rumba...parents don't want that image either).

But, the real kicker is.......she has a boyfriend. Back home. She is 20, the boyfriend is 38. Her parents hate it. So now, she is using S1 for carnal pleasure at school and going home to see the MAN she is dating, on alternate weekends.

So those of you men reading and virtually high-fiving my boy, my big worry is that S1 is going to get attached. He doesn't do casual very well. Every girl he has dated, he foresees a relationship. He is a guy that wants the life companion, no ripples in the water, and status quo. He doesn't like change or anything that alters from the consistency of what he has in focus.

When I asked him how he felt about this casual (SAFE) sex, he said it's fine, they both know they are just casual. His words said that, but I saw his eyes. A mom knows the look in her son's eyes. I am worried he is headed for another heartbreak.

The thing I repeated twice and hope he heard, is that if she is doing it WITH him, she will do it TO him, and to keep that in mind if he starts to develop feelings for her.

So, when I meet this girl, I am going to have such a hard time thinking of her as anything but a skanky booty call. What the hell will I do, if they actually get together? I have told myself----step back away from the boy's life, it is HIS life and he can achieve his own goals, and survive his own failures----and I am doing that on the outside, but man, in my head, I want to run screaming--SHES A SKANK DON'T FALL IN LOVE.

S2 has enlightened me that sex is different now. It isn't like it was back in the stone age when I was in college. Now friends have sex. Nothing else is expected. Lonely? Call a friend.

I am not a prude. People can have sex with whoever (or is it whomever? I can never remember) long as it isn't with my son. Cause..Ew. Just Ew...and I don't want my boys heart broken because you can't make it work with one guy.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

I live in bizarro world

Well the pain in the ass house guest left this morning. I could spend all afternoon with story after story of things he said in the last 72 hours, but I will just jot down the highlights~~

He was off to get some pop (soda for those of you that aren't hicks), and asked if I wanted one. When I said "no thanks", he chuckled and said "Oh yeah, that's right, you are, what? about 6 months into a 2 year diet?"

I asked him what in the hell he meant by that and he said " said you lost 20 some pounds and that probably took you six months, so you are six months in to a two year diet". Through gritted teeth, I told him it isn't a diet, it is a lifestyle change and that I started in mid June. The inference he was making was that I still had much more weight to lose, which is sooo wrong it pissed me off. Would I love to make it an additional 20? Sure, but I am far from being "fat". The thing that blows my mind is that he has a huge gut and thinks he is some kind of stud muffin. Those of you that have seen photos (or the real me) know that I could stand to shape up and the 20 lost is a very good thing, but if I kept losing, in two years you would all be at my funeral.

He also managed to put down my housekeeping,(yeah, working 14 hours a day leaves tons of time for me to clean the "dusty" chandelier, my dogs not being well mannered (they lay under the table while we eat hoping for droppage;) questioned the steadiness of my marriage,(twelve years ago, we hit a rough spot and the only reason he knows about that is because I had to cancel his visit or BigD would have moved out....and that was TWELVE years ago...we have been married for 28...he has been married twice and totaled up they come close to the length if time I keep a toothbrush) and made fun of S3 being a "typical freshman, with braces, zits and a scrawny body". I wanted to kick him in the nuts.

He left here to go back to his daughters place (my niece...we are only 10 years apart in age and have more of a friendship than an aunt/niece relationship). I had made a very pretty blanket for her, in her favorite colors, that would match her couch. When I asked if he would take it (shipping would be costly because of the weight and size) he looked at it and said "what the hell is that ugly thing"? He thinks he is funny. HE IS NOT.

To top things off, he is a major hypochondriac. He has had more surgeries than you and I combined and bitches constantly about the fact that he has to pay for his prescriptions. I found out by accident that a former employer (yes, the Jewish man referred to in the last post)is still paying him a dividend on a project and brother is raking in $40,000 a year for sitting on his ass, but the whole time he was here his phone was ringing from collection services. He will go have surgery, etc, then never pay the bill and laugh about it. I told him he is the reason that the rest of us have to pay such high premiums and he thinks that is perfectly fine because he paid premiums when he was younger, so in his mind he is OWED these things for free. That is a huge part of his personality, the sense of entitlement.

In case you are reading this and thinking, boy that OHN sure is a bitch, he can't be that bad.....well, lets put it this way....he has 3 friends. No, I am not kidding. There are 3 people that can stand him in more than small doses.

Anyway, the list goes on and on and on and all I can say is I am so glad he left and I won't have to see him again till the holidays, and hopefully I can get a refill of Xan@x before that :)

Now, for the bizarro world part. Remember last Friday when I came to the end of my ropes with the crappy job? Well I have been looking online for something, talked to a few friends about maybe doing some elder/respite care, working with animals, etc...just testing the waters thinking about what I wanted to do.

Out of the blue this afternoon, I got a call from one of my clients ( I worked in his office for about a year and actually quit to take the nightmare job), and they asked me if I would ever consider coming back. I busted out laughing. They had no idea that I wasn't still working at the other place. The manager is a real sweetheart and said she would work around whatever hours I wanted, they just wanted me back. Talk about weird timing. I told her I would think about it overnight and call her tomorrow.

I am extremely flattered, and may take her up on it, but I do have to think about it. If I go back, it will be for the duration, and not short term and I know he plans on being in practice for 5 more years. I just don't know if I want to be locked into exact hours and days, since that is what I just left. If I get more clients on my own, then my schedule is my own, and I really love that. The pay is OK but not outstanding ($10 an hour). The office is closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving, but open the following day and I would have to work those days so it would prevent any "get-aways" with BigD and the boys.

I will weigh the pros and cons tonight and hopefully come up with a decision by tomorrow. She wants me to start ASAP if I am willing to come back.

As for now, I am off to have an annoying lump removed from the back of my head. You want to know my luck?? I had the same thing removed 5 years ago, and was told I only had a 5% chance it would come back. Tada. Lucky me. Now I will have a bald spot, stitches and pain. He had better give me something to make me loopy!

Monday, September 21, 2009

update on brother

He is here. Got here at 1:00. I haven't killed him yet, but the night is still young.

So far, he has put down my weight loss efforts (I went to the doc today and am down 21 lbs--woohoo), telling me I look the same. He is the ONLY one who has said that. Everyone I run into can see a difference.

He made fun of S3's face...a 14 3/4 year old with a few zits on his chin.

BigD is doing a special project for the city we live is a very positive thing and brother laughed and said that it was stupid.

When I told him about S2's new honey (will post about that later) and told him how pretty she was, athletic, funny etc, he stopped me when I said her mother is catholic and her father is Jewish and told me that he was going to tell S2, to not see her any more because "You know what the f'ing Jews have done to me over the years". (Yeah, I do know, they EMPLOYED your lazy ass and you are still getting residual checks 4 times a year from those f'ing Jews, you asshole).

Dear lord, it has only been 6 hours.

I still want to know how in the hell we are related. Certainly my mom must have dropped him on his head, more than once, as an infant.

Just when I started to relax

My brother is coming. Today. For those of you new here, I will explain at some point why this is such a sucky way to start the week.

For those of you that have been reading and know the back story....just think of me today. I am gearing up for the verbal nasties that are coming. Unfortunately for him, after the week I had last week with the sick son and the ex-employer....big brother may go down for the count.

Bloodshed is not out of the question.

Friday, September 18, 2009

I cannot even tell you

how unbelievably relieved I am to be rid of that job.

Thank you all so much for your support.

I knew I would be glad, but, honest to god, I can't remember the last time I was this relaxed. I am not even stressing about the lack of income. I know it will be temporary...I have been looking for a new job for a few weeks anyway, I had just planned on having that new one before I chucked the old one.

Even BigD was shockingly supportive. He knew all the back stories and day to day BS that they were coming up with, and he thinks I need to send copies of all of the conflicting "orders" from all the different supervisors, to the owner of the company. (I learned long ago, because of a shady cousin, to save copies of everything...well that, and I am a bit obsessive about covering my ass...again because of said shady cousin). BigD then laughed and said it wouldn't surprise him if the owners called and asked me to come back in a managerial position. While I was rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter, I told him...not for a million bucks.

Problem solved

I had the most unbelievably unprofessional email from "the company" this morning after being locked out of my account. After several volleys of emails, I told them that in my 25 years of working,(but only 2 jobs in that time--10 years and 15 years respectively) I had never encountered an employer such as them. I asked them if they needed my final time sheet or if they could pick it out from their system and then I deleted their programs from my system.

I feel like a thousand pound weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

Now, it is off to my new project that will make so many peoples lives richer and certainly more life fulfilling for me.

(But if you want to send cash, let me know and I will give you my address;)

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Opinions requested

Here's the deal. I have to have some outpatient surgery next week (no big deal, nothing scary, just annoying) and I have a question about an email response I got from work.

As you all know, from my endless whining, I am less than thrilled with the treatment of employees at my current (second) job.

On Monday, when I scheduled the surgery, I thought the proper thing to do would be to let my supervisor know that I would be out for a day, possibly two, for an outpatient procedure. I was very polite, and my thinking was, that since they had a week and a half notice, they could shift work around to others wanting to pick up a little extra. (versus just calling in sick on the day of the procedure)

So, this morning I get the following email (the ONLY thing I changed was my name) :

OHN, re next weeks surgery, you dont have any vac time yet, therefore please plan on making up the anticipated missed hours (for that thurs) before that day. Do it as an extra 2 1/2 hours on that tues and wed.

Firstly...HUH? For a facility that is supposed to be accurate with grammar, punctuation, sentence structure etc, the way it was written, makes me think it was done as a text message, written by a 13 year old.

Secondly...HUH? I didn't tell her I was taking a vacation. I made it clear it was a medical procedure. My question to you is, since I have been self employed for so many years and am unaware of current labor rules, etc, are they allowed to A) make me use vacation time for a medical procedure (assuming I had vacation time available).. and.. B)tell me I need to work past my normal hours as a part-timer with no benefits?

They have no idea what my responsibilities are before I clock in or after I clock out.

Honestly, if these people were a little bit more employee friendly, I wouldn't hesitate to do whatever was expected, but their attitude (and this email is just the tip of the nastiness iceberg) really ticks me off.

If you think I am off base, please feel free to tell me. Maybe being self-employed for so many years as made my brain mushy and I am just not getting this whole 'we are wayy more important than you and you will be our slave' mentality.

On another note....this is a conversation I had with S2 this morning:

S2: Hi mom.

ME: Hi honey, what's up?

S2: Nothing. I am just sitting in my psych class. It doesn't start for 8 more minutes. It's really weird though, nobody else is here.

ME: That is a little strange. You told me that the flu was going around there, did they cancel class maybe?

S2: Oh. Shit. I forgot the professor canceled class for today..he told us on Tuesday he wouldn't be here.

ME: (Laughing). How long would you have sat there before remembering that?

S2: Shut up.

I know my S2. Believe me, he would still be sitting there :)

Go ahead and tell me what you think about my work....the job that I am sooo close to telling them to cram.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

work bs

Oh dear god I need a new job. I just spent the last 5 hours trying to decipher quasi-English and my ears are bleeding.

Do you ever wonder if your foreign born doctor understood his teachers and can read English any better than they can speak it??????? Just sayin.

So, I am off to the strip clubs to look for a job. (yes, I AM kidding, I would not torture other humans by allowing them to see me naked).

I really pissed off my supervisor when I corrected her (I was right and she was wrong and admitted so begrudgingly) and now she is seeing to it that the only files that are deposited in my in-box are of impossible dictators. She is petty, and has the illusion of power and this is how she is using it.

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest her armpits.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Why the uproar??

I am not trying to cram politics down your throat. I simply want to know why so many school districts have refused to allow our Presidents speech to be shown in our schools. Are our children not the ones that will be leading our futures? Do they not need encouragement (that many, sadly, are not getting from their families) ? What is the big deal?

We got an email from our superintendent last week stating that our school district had decided not to show the speech. He gave a lame excuse about lunchroom chaos and what they would need to do to separate the kids whose parents refused to let them listen, logistics about student placement, blah, blah, blah.

For the life of me, why would a parent not want their child to listen to the freaking PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA on the subject of standing up and being counted, and doing their very best in school? Would they rather the kids just morph into extensions of the parents and share only their political views?

All of my children's lives I have encouraged them to think and make decisions. I do not always agree with their interpreation of all events but to not let them listen to an encouraging speech...well, that just blows my mind. So, for those of you that have read this far, below, I have posted the written speech that will be broadcast tomorrow. If you see anything anti-American or wholey democratic please let me know, as I see only a President that is encouraging our youth to go for the brass ring.

Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama Back to School Event

Arlington, Virginia September 8, 2009

The President: Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.

I know that for many of you, today is the first day of school. And for those of you in kindergarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right now, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wishing it were still summer, and you could’ve stayed in bed just a little longer this morning.

I know that feeling. When I was young, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’t have the money to send me where all the American kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons herself, Monday through Friday – at 4:30 in the morning.

Now I wasn’t too happy about getting up that early. A lot of times, I’d fall asleep right there at the kitchen table. But whenever I’d complain, my mother would just give me one of those looks and say, "This is no picnic for me either, buster."

So I know some of you are still adjusting to being back at school. But I’m here today because I have something important to discuss with you. I’m here because I want to talk with you about your education and what’s expected of all of you in this new school year.

Now I’ve given a lot of speeches about education. And I’ve talked a lot about responsibility.

I’ve talked about your teachers’ responsibility for inspiring you, and pushing you to learn.

I’ve talked about your parents’ responsibility for making sure you stay on track, and get your homework done, and don’t spend every waking hour in front of the TV or with that Xbox.

I’ve talked a lot about your government’s responsibility for setting high standards, supporting teachers and principals, and turning around schools that aren’t working where students aren’t getting the opportunities they deserve.

But at the end of the day, we can have the most dedicated teachers, the most supportive parents, and the best schools in the world – and none of it will matter unless all of you fulfill your responsibilities. Unless you show up to those schools; pay attention to those teachers; listen to your parents, grandparents and other adults; and put in the hard work it takes to succeed.

And that’s what I want to focus on today: the responsibility each of you has for your education. I want to start with the responsibility you have to yourself.

Every single one of you has something you’re good at. Every single one of you has something to offer. And you have a responsibility to yourself to discover what that is. That’s the opportunity an education can provide.

Maybe you could be a good writer – maybe even good enough to write a book or articles in a newspaper – but you might not know it until you write a paper for your English class. Maybe you could be an innovator or an inventor – maybe even good enough to come up with the next iPhone or a new medicine or vaccine – but you might not know it until you do a project for your science class. Maybe you could be a mayor or a Senator or a Supreme Court Justice, but you might not know that until you join student government or the debate team.

And no matter what you want to do with your life – I guarantee that you’ll need an education to do it. You want to be a doctor, or a teacher, or a police officer? You want to be a nurse or an architect, a lawyer or a member of our military? You’re going to need a good education for every single one of those careers. You can’t drop out of school and just drop into a good job. You’ve got to work for it and train for it and learn for it.

And this isn’t just important for your own life and your own future. What you make of your education will decide nothing less than the future of this country. What you’re learning in school today will determine whether we as a nation can meet our greatest challenges in the future.

You’ll need the knowledge and problem-solving skills you learn in science and math to cure diseases like cancer and AIDS, and to develop new energy technologies and protect our environment. You’ll need the insights and critical thinking skills you gain in history and social studies to fight poverty and homelessness, crime and discrimination, and make our nation more fair and more free. You’ll need the creativity and ingenuity you develop in all your classes to build new companies that will create new jobs and boost our economy.

We need every single one of you to develop your talents, skills and intellect so you can help solve our most difficult problems. If you don’t do that – if you quit on school – you’re not just quitting on yourself, you’re quitting on your country.

Now I know it’s not always easy to do well in school. I know a lot of you have challenges in your lives right now that can make it hard to focus on your schoolwork.

I get it. I know what that’s like. My father left my family when I was two years old, and I was raised by a single mother who struggled at times to pay the bills and wasn’t always able to give us things the other kids had. There were times when I missed having a father in my life. There were times when I was lonely and felt like I didn’t fit in.

So I wasn’t always as focused as I should have been. I did some things I’m not proud of, and got in more trouble than I should have. And my life could have easily taken a turn for the worse.

But I was fortunate. I got a lot of second chances and had the opportunity to go to college, and law school, and follow my dreams. My wife, our First Lady Michelle Obama, has a similar story. Neither of her parents had gone to college, and they didn’t have much. But they worked hard, and she worked hard, so that she could go to the best schools in this country.

Some of you might not have those advantages. Maybe you don’t have adults in your life who give you the support that you need. Maybe someone in your family has lost their job, and there’s not enough money to go around. Maybe you live in a neighborhood where you don’t feel safe, or have friends who are pressuring you to do things you know aren’t right.

But at the end of the day, the circumstances of your life – what you look like, where you come from, how much money you have, what you’ve got going on at home – that’s no excuse for neglecting your homework or having a bad attitude. That’s no excuse for talking back to your teacher, or cutting class, or dropping out of school. That’s no excuse for not trying.

Where you are right now doesn’t have to determine where you’ll end up. No one’s written your destiny for you. Here in America, you write your own destiny. You make your own future.

That’s what young people like you are doing every day, all across America.

Young people like Jazmin Perez, from Roma, Texas. Jazmin didn’t speak English when she first started school. Hardly anyone in her hometown went to college, and neither of her parents had gone either. But she worked hard, earned good grades, got a scholarship to Brown University, and is now in graduate school, studying public health, on her way to being Dr. Jazmin Perez.

I’m thinking about Andoni Schultz, from Los Altos, California, who’s fought brain cancer since he was three. He’s endured all sorts of treatments and surgeries, one of which affected his memory, so it took him much longer – hundreds of extra hours – to do his schoolwork. But he never fell behind, and he’s headed to college this fall.

And then there’s Shantell Steve, from my hometown of Chicago, Illinois. Even when bouncing from foster home to foster home in the toughest neighborhoods, she managed to get a job at a local health center; start a program to keep young people out of gangs; and she’s on track to graduate high school with honors and go on to college.

Jazmin, Andoni and Shantell aren’t any different from any of you. They faced challenges in their lives just like you do. But they refused to give up. They chose to take responsibility for their education and set goals for themselves. And I expect all of you to do the same.

That’s why today, I’m calling on each of you to set your own goals for your education – and to do everything you can to meet them. Your goal can be something as simple as doing all your homework, paying attention in class, or spending time each day reading a book. Maybe you’ll decide to get involved in an extracurricular activity, or volunteer in your community. Maybe you’ll decide to stand up for kids who are being teased or bullied because of who they are or how they look, because you believe, like I do, that all kids deserve a safe environment to study and learn. Maybe you’ll decide to take better care of yourself so you can be more ready to learn. And along those lines, I hope you’ll all wash your hands a lot, and stay home from school when you don’t feel well, so we can keep people from getting the flu this fall and winter.

Whatever you resolve to do, I want you to commit to it. I want you to really work at it.

I know that sometimes, you get the sense from TV that you can be rich and successful without any hard work -- that your ticket to success is through rapping or basketball or being a reality TV star, when chances are, you’re not going to be any of those things.

But the truth is, being successful is hard. You won’t love every subject you study. You won’t click with every teacher. Not every homework assignment will seem completely relevant to your life right this minute. And you won’t necessarily succeed at everything the first time you try.

That’s OK. Some of the most successful people in the world are the ones who’ve had the most failures. JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team, and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career. But he once said, "I have failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

These people succeeded because they understand that you can’t let your failures define you – you have to let them teach you. You have to let them show you what to do differently next time. If you get in trouble, that doesn’t mean you’re a troublemaker, it means you need to try harder to behave. If you get a bad grade, that doesn’t mean you’re stupid, it just means you need to spend more time studying.

No one’s born being good at things, you become good at things through hard work. You’re not a varsity athlete the first time you play a new sport. You don’t hit every note the first time you sing a song. You’ve got to practice. It’s the same with your schoolwork. You might have to do a math problem a few times before you get it right, or read something a few times before you understand it, or do a few drafts of a paper before it’s good enough to hand in.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. I do that every day. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don’t know something, and to learn something new. So find an adult you trust – a parent, grandparent or teacher; a coach or counselor – and ask them to help you stay on track to meet your goals.

And even when you’re struggling, even when you’re discouraged, and you feel like other people have given up on you – don’t ever give up on yourself. Because when you give up on yourself, you give up on your country.

The story of America isn’t about people who quit when things got tough. It’s about people who kept going, who tried harder, who loved their country too much to do anything less than their best.

It’s the story of students who sat where you sit 250 years ago, and went on to wage a revolution and found this nation. Students who sat where you sit 75 years ago who overcame a Depression and won a world war; who fought for civil rights and put a man on the moon. Students who sat where you sit 20 years ago who founded Google, Twitter and Facebook and changed the way we communicate with each other.

So today, I want to ask you, what’s your contribution going to be? What problems are you going to solve? What discoveries will you make? What will a president who comes here in twenty or fifty or one hundred years say about what all of you did for this country?

Your families, your teachers, and I are doing everything we can to make sure you have the education you need to answer these questions. I’m working hard to fix up your classrooms and get you the books, equipment and computers you need to learn. But you’ve got to do your part too. So I expect you to get serious this year. I expect you to put your best effort into everything you do. I expect great things from each of you. So don’t let us down – don’t let your family or your country or yourself down. Make us all proud. I know you can do it.

Thank you, God bless you, and God bless America.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Answers to your questions

No, I didn't actually get 300 questions. But, here are the questions I did get, with my answers:

Tina from asked:Where are you RIGHT now and what are you wearing. And why isn't there a post dedicated to the person who shared with you the secret of the spaces?? HMMMMMMMmmm?? hehe

Well Tina, you DID give me the right answer about the spaces. I guess all that air way up there where you live makes a girl pretty smart. As I read your question I am, as I usually am, sitting at my computer in my office (which has a couch and a TV, so it is a combo office and sleeping spot for the boys) and I am wearing a light blue XXL Tall-T (stolen from the laundry that S2 left here when he went back to school) and my plaid, baggy, flannel boxers. No wonder it took me so long to get pregnant.

Rebel from asks:I would like to know if you will consider coming to BlogHer in NY next year and being my roommate/partner in crime/drinking buddy for the weekend.

Well Rebel, if you can stand seeing me in the above outfit, it is entirely possible. I have thought about going to Blogher but have been intimidated by the thought of all those smart women in one place. I have serious self esteem issues and prefer to live in my little bubble where I am the smartest one. (albeit the only one).

The lovely DD of asks:Would you like to become a grandparent sooner (in less than 5 years) or later? What kind of grandma do you think you'll be?

Well S1 is going to be 21 in November, S2 will be 20 in the, yeah, I think if it was closer to the 5 year mark, sure. I would rather be a younger one than an older one. Though, S2 will be a much better dad. S1, is wound a little tight and a teething baby might make him come unglued. This is the kid that gets pissed when the dog barks at the UPS guy, so patience...not so much. As for what kind of grandma I will be, I will LOVE it. I hope they live close so I can snag them for a day here and there. Our kids didn't get to know grandparents because of age and distance and we didn't get to have any "couple time" because there was nobody to swoop in and take the kids for a bit. I would like to be able to do that. Plus, it will be fun watching my sons be tormented by THEIR kids. Sweet revenge. Get 'em all sugared up and send 'em home :)

Deathstar, a strong woman and someone I would like to meet, at is very nosy. She wonders: Okay, I'm in, panties or g-string? If you were on a desert island, and could bring 3 things, what would it be? How did you meet your husband? How did you lose your virginity? Answer any question or all of them!

Dear lord, either panties or nothing. I spend too much time picking things out of my ass crack as it is. Ok, for the desert island, you said things, not people, so I am leaving my kids home. I would take a case of books (a fraction of the ones that I have yet to read), LOTS of chocolate and some sunscreen. Ahhhh the husband question. It is really one of those stories where in normal circumstances we never would have met. I lived in a nice apartment complex that had a pool. The docs I worked for were closed on Wednesdays so that was my day off too. Normally, I would have been holed up in my apartment, avoiding my slutty room-mate, and watching TV (with the sound of the slutty room-mate having crazy monkey sex in the next room). But, this day was a beautiful day, early June, so I headed out for the pool. As you can imagine, it was empty being the middle of the week in an apartment complex that was 99% young working people. Well, when I walked through the gate, there were 4 guys at the pool. One of them was really really cute (it wasn't my husband, it was his best friend) and for some unknown reason, I suddenly and EXTREMELY UNCHARACTERISTICALLY plunked myself down near the guys instead of heading to the far end of the pool. All of the guys got up and went into the clubhouse but one. He was sound asleep. When he woke up and looked around, he had the dumbest look on his face and it made me laugh. He smiled and 22 months later we got married. ...which leads me to the virginity part...of course it was on my wedding night, and if anyone tells you it was in John S's basement when I was 17, they are lying!!

My gal from the east coast, preppyplayer asked: If you won a million bucks, what are the first five things you would do with it?

I thought this would be an easy one but not really. The first couple of things ~~ I would pay off the house, and set aside a huge chunk to take care of us in our old age (if left up to the kids, we would live in the cheapest nursing home with limited food and heat). That leaves three more things. I would gather all of our family (the 5 of us) along with each of our families (my brother--eeegads, his kids, husbands brothers and their wives and kids etc) and would go on a cruise. I have always been envious of people that go on family reunion type vacations. Although ours would be a bit bizarre, because of the mix of people that would go, imagine the blog fodder it would give me!! So, that leaves two more. I think then, I would find several families that are really doing without, but are good, decent people, trying hard and just not having the luck they need. I would find a way, anonymously to make sure they had the things they needed. No too over the top, no fancy cars or mansions, just the things they need to have an easier life. Doing it this way, I could help more than a few families. Lastly....this is something that I really really want to do before I die. I want to offer scholarships for the "average" kid. Not all kids are in the top 5% of the class and not all are awesome sought after athletes. They are kids like mine. Good, fun, decent, happy, intelligent kids that sure could use some help with tuition and books etc. I would call it "The Average Joe and Jane Scholarship". I would want to pick the kids myself based on their answers to a few questions I would ask. Then I could die a happy woman.

Jen Anderson of the wonderful wonders:If money was no object, what "of the month club" would you sign up for?

This is a tough one. There are so many things that I would like to do. If money was no object, that would mean I wasn't tied to my computer working 14 hours a day, so, I would be free to do things. I think I would join the "trip of the month club". One weekend a month, you could go anywhere, any city, any island, and just recharge.

So that about wraps it up. So how come none of you guy readers asked anything? I imagine, like at my house, you were busy with the remote in one hand and the other one down the front of your pants. I can never tell if the guys are guarding the jewels or keeping their fingers warm. Or both.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Free for all reminder

You have one more day to ask me anything you want. So far I have a whopping two questions. C'mon, show me a little love.

I have a question for all of you too. Do you have and like an E-reader like Kindle? I can't make up my mind if that is something I would like or not. There is something gratifying flipping pages and I am not sure pushing a button would be the same (but then again I guess it depends on what button is being pushed bwahahaha).

Weigh in...I am on the fence.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

This is why I voted for Obama

Below is an excerpt from an interview that the almost son-in-law of the almost vice-president did recently. Honestly, I have two boys his age and at that age they pretty much tell it like it, I believe the kid. The thought that McCain could keel over and she would be in charge of the greatest country on earth, scared the shit out of me...... Read on and fire away.

Levi Johnston Dishes on Palin Household

By Michael Y. Park

Originally posted Wednesday September 02, 2009 12:10 PM EDT

Levi Johnston and Sarah Palin Photo by: Jesse Grant / WireImage; UPI Photo / LandovLevi Johnston Dishes on Palin Household

He almost became a member of the Palin family, but Levi Johnston – who fathered former Gov. Sarah Palin's grandchild with her daughter Bristol – isn't holding back when it comes to spilling the Alaska clan's secrets.

"There was a lot of talk of divorce in that house ... times when Sarah and Todd would mention it and sound pretty serious," says Johnston, who turns 19 this year. (Last month, the couple denied Internet rumors of a pending divorce.)

But that wasn't all. In a wide-ranging interview with Vanity Fair in its October issue, out nationally Sept. 8, the teen says that the onetime vice-presidential nominee's frequent self-description as a "hockey mom" who put family above career was far from the truth.

"Even before she was nominated, there wasn't much parenting in that house," he says. "Sarah doesn't cook, Todd doesn't cook – the kids would do it all themselves: cook, clean, do the laundry, and get ready for school. Most of the time Bristol would help her youngest sister with her homework, and I'd barbecue chicken or steak on the grill."

But it was the people of Alaska who might've suffered worse, according to Johnston. Palin often complained that her job as governor was "too hard," and after spending a couple weeks of being gloomy about losing the vice presidency, she focused on making money instead of the needs of Alaskans, he said.

Talk of Quitting "Sarah was sad for a while. She walked around the house pouting," Johnston says. "A week or two after she got back she started talking about how nice it would be to quit and write a book or do a show and make 'triple the money.' She would blatantly say, 'I want to just take this money and quit being governor.' "

Palin resigned from her post as governor of Alaska in July.

Her bid for the White House definitely got to the head of the woman from Wasilla, Johnston adds, saying she'd say things like: "I brought everything to the table" and "The majority of people were out there voting because of me!" when supporters of U.S. Sen. John McCain started to blame her for the loss. "She definitely thought she was running for president," Johnston says.

Palin's ambition for higher office also affected the family's plans for Bristol and Johnston's baby, he says. The governor planned for the baby to be adopted by herself and her husband, Todd, with his real parentage to be kept a secret.

"That way, she said, Bristol and I didn't have to worry about anything," Johnston says. "Sarah kept mentioning this plan. She was nagging – she wouldn't give up. She would say, 'So, are you gonna let me adopt him?' I think Sarah wanted to make Bristol look good, and she didn't want people to know that her 17-year-old daughter was going to have a kid."