I WONDER IF SHE KNOWS...

.....that I just pooped in the dining room. Maybe if I don't look directly at her she might not know. After all, it's not like it made the ENTIRE house stink or anything. Maybe she will take pity on me and remember that until a few weeks ago I was on my own and could poo where ever I wanted. It's a good thing I am so damn cute.

Along the same poo theme (my last post was about poo too, I promise I will get off that topic after this) for some reason the above pictured dog LOVES to rub his face in deer poo. I am constantly washing him when he comes in from his orgasmic rolls in deer dung. Any hints from any of you?? (The deer are here to stay since we basically built a house in their yard so shooing them away will be impossible, plus they are awesome to watch frolic in the yard).

Things have been hopping at chez nut home. I have dirty laundry piled to the door knob of the laundry room, three teenage boys sharing a bathroom that has become a hazmat zone for sure, and a husband that is making me even crazier than I was before and wondering why I put up with his shit. I have started to look forward to working at the docs office with 3 lines ringing off the hook, whiny male patients that can't seem to get over the fact that I have seen a penis before, said the word penis before and yes even touched one or two. It is very true that if men needed yearly paps, had to give birth etc, they would become extinct because they can't handle even the smallest procedures without thinking they are world winning martyrs. Even with all that going to work is a break from the constant onslaught of mess makers in my house.

Right now though I am fighting a battle with S2. He is 18, graduated this year and is off to college in August. He has decided that he wants a motorcycle. I have seen the remnants of bodies in the ER after car v. bike accidents and it is not pretty. Describing to him what brain matter looks like when it is bulging out of a young mans head has done nothing to sway him away from wanting one. (A bike, not a brain, he gave up long ago on wanting one of those:)

He keeps pulling the "I am 18 now and can buy one" and I counter with "yes but you still owe me $732 for gas, car repairs, loans etc". SO, I have decided that I won't even talk to him about a two wheeled vehicle until he pays me his outstanding debt. Since he is now unemployed (his boss went out of business) this may take awhile and by the time he has the money, it will be snowing again and the thought of a motorcycle won't be as appealing. At least that is my hope.

It is finally wonderfully sunny here today so I am off to plant some flowers that will make me happy. tata for now.

Opinions welcome

Hi gang! Long time no type to. My life has been taken over by the rigors of trying to make enough money to fill up my friggin SUV with gasoline. What the hell is up with the price going up 50 cents OVER NIGHT! I would like to have a nice little chat (in a room with no witnesses) with a few oil execs and let them know what I am really feeling. I may be old but I bet I could still kick some ass. Speaking of work, I have a question to throw out there for you. What is proper poop etiquette in the workplace? Being self employed all these years I could walk 20 feet to the bathroom whenever I wanted to without offending anyone but the dogs. The other day I found that my morning cereal was also a laxative. There is one bathroom in the office and it is right next to the front desk area. Are you sensing where this is going? Help people! I have worked by myself for so many years that I can let pretty much everything fly, now I am entering an entirely new arena. This is a short post to just say hi and let you know that I am still alive. I have been reading your blogs and even commenting now and then but seriously work is kicking my butt around the block. It is not hard, and I even enjoy it, it just takes up a lot of my time when I really should be blogging. OHHH..and for those of you that have been reading for awhile, remember back in Jan/Feb I told you about ‘big medical office’ changing to the damn EMR……they still have NOT told me about it. I finally sent an e-mail to the office manager and asked her and being the complete flake that she is, she gave me a very vague answer, really not telling me anything. So, I am still in limbo and have no idea if they are switching in a week or a year. (It is definite they are switching and most likely it will be sooner rather than later, but hell, I can't get anyone to tell me—you would think I was asking for the ingredients for a nuclear missile). My mole inside the practice has told me she has been told that it will be in place by summer-uh…that’s only a few weeks away manager, wanna let me in on the secret?? I can't imagine not letting any of my employees know that they need to find an alternate source of income. I made it clear to the flaky manager that they accounted for my income, my JOB and that I would like to know some details. I even offered to help them make a smooth transition, offering to supply them with old archives etc that I have amassed over the years and made it clear that they would receive excellent service for as long as they need it (I was thinking maybe she didn't want to tell me thinking I would slack off or something-who knows!). So much for my short post....all I really needed to know is if it is ok to poop at work.

Animals

Hello---remember me? I am the one that used to post fairly frequently, then life happened. I know I left you hanging with the tease of a thought provoking post and that is still spinning in my little head but for now, I need to write about these goings ons.

Well, surgery boy is doing fairly well. He is hobbling around on and off crutches, on and off pain meds. He swears that the Vicod*n does nothing for him yet within an hour of taking it he is crashed on the couch.

S1 has stopped vomiting but has had another life setback. He and his girlfriend broke up last night. It breaks MY heart to hear the pain in his voice. I think we all know too well how shitty that feels. They have dated for almost 3 years, were each others first and only loves (so far) and ahem, the first sex for either of them. I don't know if they will get back together but whether they do or don't I just want S1 to be happy. Of the three, he is the kid I worry about the most. He is the most fragile emotionally and I want to protect him from all lifes bumps. He is in that initial stage of not knowing what to do next and there is nothing I can do to help and it is very very hard for me...but I know it is important for him to experience these things as they are part of lifes little treasures. I would love for him to open up and talk about everything but he is an internalizer (yes, that is most likely why he is being treated for an ulcer). Maybe there are people at school he will talk to-girls I hope-to give him the positive feedback he needs. I really don't think his guy friends have any more of a clue about women than he does. I can talk till I am blue and since I am a mom and not a girl obviously nothing I say is pertinent. HA!

(Actually my big post that I was planning is about S1 and his health issues but I really can't dredge all that up in my mind tonight, it has been a very long day and I still have to go next door to take care of the neighbors pup while they are out of town.)

We had a sad event in the family this week. We lost one of our kitties. He had gotten very sick and it had gotten to the point where the only kind thing to do was have him put to sleep. For those of you that have had to do that, you KNOW how tough that is!!! SO wait till you hear this. I still can't believe it. When I walked into the vet with Putter in the carrier there were several people ahead of me waiting at the desk to pay, check in, etc. Anyway the lady in front of me turned around and started talking to me about how cute the cat was and she asked why I was there. I told her he was quite sick (and I should have stopped at that) but told her he was going to be put to sleep. She HAD to see the sadness in my eyes and see that my heart was heavy but did she offer condolences? Did she sympathize with me? Nope, she ripped me a new one right there in the lobby. I stood there paralyzed while she said that there was no way she was going to allow that, that I HAD to ask the vet for a carton to put the cat in so I could drop him off at a rescue group etc etc. Honest to God this lady ranted at me till it was her turn at the counter. I was mortified. One kind gent sitting there spoke up and told her that it would be wrong to drop off a sick old cat to a rescue group that would never be able to find it a home and would be stuck with the bill for euthanasia. The rant lady even asked the girl at the desk "don't you know anyone who would take that cat so that lady won't put it to sleep?" At some point, I know I made it pretty clear that I was not enjoying this trip but she acted like I was having a blast and it was her job to stop me. She left while muttering how SHE could NEVER do that and how could I do that and actually went to her car crying. Oh, I did ask her if she wanted him and she said she had 4 cats and couldn't take another. I cannot believe that she went on and on when I was standing there obviously sad. When she left several people in the waiting room offered their condolences and told me to ignore her, that she was obviously out of line and a bit of a loon too. So the 28 pound cat is gone and it is so strange around here without him waddling his fat belly across the floor for his next meal. So far Bo, the normal sized kitty seems fine without him and has actually been extra cuddly with me and seems to be fine with being the lone cat with two pups.

SPEAKING OF PUPS~I thought I would post a couple of photos here of the new one and the original one. They have becomes incredible friends these past couple of weeks and are together constantly. Cosmo is already very spoiled. We made the mistake of letting him sleep with S2 and now he howls if he is put in his crate.....so of course last night when S2 was out till his curfew, Cos slept with us..between us...with his head draped over my neck. Oh, how that dog lovesssss to snuggle. If these photos don't make you go "awwwww" then you had better check to see if you have a heart :) And would someone please tell my why anyone would dump this sweet, well behaved, cuddler off at a kill shelter? For the life of me I have no idea.

If you want to meet me

you only have 11200 days to do it. According to the real age calculator that I linked to below, that is how long I have left. www.embedtube.com/uploads/33101407Realage.swf Also, I have a post brewing in my head that I honestly want feedback on. No time right now to write it all out (because I have spent all morning surfing new and somewhat bizarre blogs and not working like I should be). You know how it goes,,,,,you click on the link to someones comment and it shoots you to their blog then read the comments and shoot off to another blog and on and on. Anyway...thought pondering post to follow but in the meantime, find out how long you have left so we can set up our lunch date.

The stuff that nightmares are made of....

I don't have time for a real post tonight but I am stealing Dr. Deb's link so you can all read a scary bedtime story. Folk's this is not funny and has me more than a little concerned. Do you want your goofy coworker knowing what you told your doctor the last time you were there?? http://drdeborahserani.blogspot.com

WHEW WHAT A WEEK

and it doesn't show any signs of slowing down.

First--the new dog. He is amazing. I had heard stories about shelter rescues being very grateful and wonderful pets and it is so true. I highly recommend it. This little guy's favorite place is draped across your head or shoulder when you are lying down. Cosmo and Harley have become fast friends and if they aren't together, they are looking for each other.

Second--work. It is going to kill me. Does anyone know a rich little old couple that would like to send my kids through college so I can not work 18 hours a day? No? crap. Hey a girl can always hope.

Third--the boys. So much stuff is going on here and most of it is scary. S1 called from school on Wed night/Thu morning telling us he was on his way home-sick. Once we got the whole story out of him it turns out he has been vomiting for 2 weeks. No food stays down. On Thu. using my connections I got him in for an appointment and they told him he has IBD. I wasn't there (he is 19 now and goes into the office as an"adult") so I couldn't ask questions like..if he has IBD why is he vomiting but not having diarrhea etc. Apparently the lad is constipated too and none of the food is going through the way it should so it is coming back up. THEN...this morning when he was still vomiting, I started asking a zillion questions and when I asked him if there was any blood in the vomit, he says "no just some black slimey crap". HOLY SHIT..it probably IS blood. When I asked him if he told the doc on Thu he said "yea, I told him there wasn't any because blood is red mom"--OK I guess he wouldn't know that it can be black, he is a kid with no medical knowledge but don't you think the MD on should have pressed a little bit for more info?? Anyway..now I am going to ask BigD to call a gastroenterologist that is an acquaintance of his (that calls here frequently with police questions so now the tables are turned and it is his turn to help us) and see if we can get this squared away. My guess is that S1 is working on an ulcer. He is a very intense kid, a self proclaimed perfectionist that puts a lot of pressure on himself to be all things to all people. He is also the one of my three that I worry about the most.

Moving on to S2. When he was in 7th grade he was playing basketball and during a game his knee went right when his foot stayed planted. Since then I have suspected an ACL tear because of his continuous symptoms. He has had many MRI's, CAT scans, etc and none have shown a significant problem but I can see the knee doesn't look right and he has significant symptoms off and on, lots of pain etc sooooo to make a very long story short, he is going in for surgery this week. He will be in a brace for 4-6 weeks-and is hoping that he can be crutch free for the prom and graduation. We had contemplated waiting till summer for the surgery but then his whole summer he would be laid up so since he can still go to class (and probably gets LOTS of sympathy from the girls) it made sense to do the surgery now and get it out of the way.

There is a part of me that is terrified taking in a big healthy 17(will be 18 in a couple weeks) year old and doing surgery but this has been bothering him and keeping him from his beloved basketball because of the instability and I finally found an ortho guy that I trust and more importantly he operates in a hospital I trust so we are hoping this will go smoothly and all will be well.

Thankfully S3 is blissfully normal and happy with no concerns at this time. (Did I just jinx myself??)

So, now I have been at the "new" job for a couple of weeks and I can't work this week with all the appointments, procedures, surgeries etc that will be going on. Thankfully, the office is very family friendly so it shouldn't be a problem. Damn, I hate having to even ask for time off, when I was just self employed there was never that concern. I know I need the job, it just makes me appreciate all the years of self employment even more.

Anyway,,I am sure none of you are wanting to hear more of my worries. You came here for pix of the new guy in the house....so without further anticipation..here he is helping S3 IM his friends~ He thrives on being loved and I tell you after a crazy week there is noting better than unconditional doggy love.

Stressed? I don't think so.

CORRECTION

Ok..so we have had him for 6 hours now and we have changed his name again. He is no longer Kramer....he is Cosmo. (Do any of you know how those names are related?) BigD is a HUGE fan. I am too pooped to dig out the cord to upload photos but I will when I get home from work tomorrow (I am not really enjoying saying that....still like the job, love the people, but leaving my cozy office and taking off sweats to put on real woman clothes to go to another office is kind of a drag.) Cosmo is completely adorable, had a bath and smells MUCH better and has already wiggled his way into our hearts. OH...and he loves to cuddle, his favorite place seems to be snuggled up next to, or on top of, one of us.

ITS DONE

Well..after an exhausting day of dog testing, Ike, who will now be known as Kramer, came home to live with us. Harley is a little pissed.

OH DEAR LORD WHAT AM I DOING??

I need opinions and I need them fast. I am going to meet two dogs tomorrow and one of them will probably end up shedding all over my house for the next 10-12 years. I am determined to get Harley a dog. He is old enough now to accept the responsibility and I think he would be a good role model. (He is 1 1/2 after all).

Please tell me which of these you get a vibe from. Ike looks like he could be the same style as Harley and Frasier is just too damn cute. Hurry, I am weakening and feeling the need for another fix. S2 suggested we get both...I told him that would be great, but we would have to get rid of BigD. I am still contemplating that ;)Ike is the beagle mix and Frasier is the cocker.

Lifes simple pleasures

This morning when the house was quiet and peaceful I was trying to decide if I wanted to go out and do something constructive or do nothing. Nothing won.

Around 8ish Harley went into a barking tirade. Those of you that have pets know that they make different sounds for different things. I can tell the difference between his barks if he is happy and wants to play, is protecting us from something (usually invisible to us, but his heart is in the right place), his 'I gotta go now people' bark and of course his talking with low guttural groans. This tirade this morning was a fierce, high pitched, screaming bark....one that should be saved for 'hey family, the house is on fire, get out but don't forget my food'. When I went to the back door, this is what I saw--a new enemy for Harley. Never before seen phenomenon in his lifetime...and dammit, he was going to save us from it

For those of you that ever have the chance to ride in one, DO IT! I am terrified of heights but loved every minute of the ride we took over Napa Valley. It is amazingly peaceful and you can see forever. Just don't fly over our house or Harley will have to take you down.

Cheap entertainment

Most of the time when I read someones blog, it rattles the recesses of my little mind and reminds me of some offbeat thing that has happened to me. While reading Dooce this morning (there is a link at the bottom...if you don't read her, you really should, she is hilarious) it reminded me of the time we almost took in a 30 pound wild raccoon. Yeah, I am surrounded by people that regularly encourage my eccentric love of all creatures with 4 feet (with some exceptions, like things with beadie eyes and hairless tails). The only sane one in the house is BigD and we rarely listen to anything he has to say. Anyway....several years ago our sweet old docile dog kept sniffing at the back door. We thought it was probably a skunk so we didn't open the door but I did turn on the back light and sitting on the deck railing was the biggest raccoon I had ever seen in my life. I don't know if I can even describe how he was sitting but he truly resembled a guy lounging in his fave barcolounger, sitting on his butt, leaning back on the side of the porch, back legs straight out, with a bird feeder between his front feet and his nose stuck in a hole that he had made. We all watched him for over an hour. He would look at us as if to say "don't even think about interrupting my meal" and go back to eating. The next day, I went out and filled the feeder again, and did this daily for 4 days. Every night he was our entertainment. Since the feeder was only about 3 feet from the window we had a great view and he had a great view of us. He would look at us but never budge from his spot. All he needed was a beer in one hand and he would have looked just like my stepfather. One night, he didn't come. By that time we had named him Big Mac (he looked like he had a daily mac habit) and we all were worried that this wild animal that we wanted to bring in and sleep on our bed, had been killed by another one of the multitude of creatures we have roaming our hood. A couple weeks later our sweet old dog was sniffing at the window in my office...hmmmm, since there is another feeder outside my window, I thought maybe BigMac was back so I opened the blinds and lo and behold there was BigMac and HIS babies....yes Mac was really a Mac-ette and she had brought her kids to meet the crazy lady that loves wild animals like they were domestic. They came back for a few nights then BigD started screaming at us about needing rabies shots in our stomachs and foaming at the mouth (us, not the raccoons) so I didn't put food out and she moved on, I am assuming with her brood in tow, and hasn't been back. This entire post was because of my flashback when I read Dooce today, so it is all her fault. (I also have another post brewing in my head about butt juice but I will save that for another day.) http://www.dooce.com/2008/03/25/chucks-heightened-sense-awesome/#comments-start

My ass has been kicked

Wow..take one "middle aged" woman that already works 60 hours a week, add an additional 8 hour day on her feet, bending, lifting and having to utilize brain cells and you get one whooped ass of a woman. By 7 last night I was having flash backs to my college drinking days where things would get jumbled in my head and nothing was making sense...ahhhh the memories. I tried to sit at the computer and do something worthwhile and absolutely nothing was happening. The darn screen just kept staring back at me. I finally realized that I had to use my fingers to make something happen and that was just entirely too much effort so I packed it in and went to bed to watch the "stars" on Dancing w/the Stars. (I have no idea who half of the people are...I think they are trying to resurrect some sagging careers-possibly). Actually I think I will like the new job...I have my own office area, it is comfortable, the people are great, the boss is full of compliments-which does give a newbie the urge to come back for a second day-and all in all, it is a good job. By noon it felt like I had been there forever. (not in a bad way, just in a comfortable way). Granted it was the first day, I am sure once I get more into the day to day details it will involve a little more thought but the work they have me doing right now is basic common sense, office management type stuff and it's a little like slipping on a pair of old slippers that had gotten pushed to the back of the closet that you found again by accident. So, two or three days a week I will be leaving the comfort of my holey crotched sweats, slipping on real woman clothes and going to work. OHHH...clothes. Speaking of clothes....I had to shop this weekend. I will just say that I AM NOT A SHOPPER. I really do not enjoy it. I find stores to be crowded with narrow aisles, clothes jammed on racks and confusing signs. Needless to say, I try to get in and get out as quickly as I can and when you have NO business clothes any more and you are basically starting from scratch it is a traumatic experience. I managed to come out with 4 pairs of pants, a few sweaters, tops, a couple bras, dress sox etc and it only cost me what my first check will hopefully cover. I guess that means that I am working my first two weeks for clothes....kinda like a hooker I guess.

ATTENTION CANADIAN READERS

This is directed to you or any of you that are familiar with the ways of the Canadians.....Starting Monday S1 is on spring break from college, he is 19, and has told me he and 3 friends are going to Canada for 4 days. Now the kicker...he is telling me that he is considered an adult in Canada, he can drink, gamble, and basically choose any vice that is legal-(not sure about this one but he was telling me that marijuana is legal there?) and is planning on letting it all hang out. So, my question to you is, should I plan on having to make a trip to Canada to bail him out of anything? With gas at over $3.50 a gallon, I might have to let his scrawny ass sit for a bit. Mind you, this is a kid that is a straight A student and never gets in trouble (except for the post about the drinking incident that landed him in the ER, but the trauma of that is slowly passing with time:) They are staying in a casino/hotel near Niagara Falls. (Do you wonder why a group of 19 year olds are going to the cold north when most of their classmates are heading to Mexico? Yeah, me too.) Any and all input is welcome--as long as it is before Monday because by then, he will be on his way to what he suspects is utopia.

My decision

I called them back this morning and told them I would love to join their crew. Honestly these are some of the nicest ladies you could imagine. They are welcoming me with open arms. The doc is a urologist that has been in a solo practice for over 20 years and has seen it all, and for the most part, his main staff has been with him the entire time. I think that says a lot about the environment and the boss himself. I will have my own office area to complete my tasks and nobody breathing down my neck. If it were another one of my clients I most likely would not have even considered a position like this but this bunch, I couldn't turn down. The lady I talked to this morning told me she went home last night was was telling her husband that I was considering the position and that for her it was a "dream come true". Wow...if that doesn't boost my ego for the day then there is something wrong with me :) Also...I haven't mentioned that BigD is leaving tonight for Savannah for a 4 day bar hopping drinking fest with a motor home full of other BigD types celebrating St. Patty's day...20 years ago I would have been jealous, pissed, worried etc etc. But now, I am looking forward to the king size bed ALL TO MYSELF , eating cereal for dinner (the boys are excited that I said yes to pizza, Chinese, subw*y, whatever they want as long as I don't have to cook it:), I have a local painter coming in to paint the hideous bathroom tomorrow and Friday and don't have to listen to BigD bitch about it not being done right etc--it will be done and paid for before he gets home, again thanks to new job :), and most importantly I most likely will not put on any makeup or blow dry my hair, because face it, I really only do that stuff to fool him into thinking I am still the pretty young thing he married all those years ago. If it were up to me a little lip gloss and I would be done. Anyway, I am now not only self employed but office employed, I get a few days of "freedom", no stove to fire up and I will finally be able to go use the bathroom without the walls making me want to vomit. Wow what a life. ps--I will post photos of the before and after of the ugly to nice bathroom on the weekend.

Silver lining?

I got a call out of the blue at noon today from one of my clients. Actually it is the very first client I ever had. He gave me a chance when I was just starting out and I have been forever grateful. To make a long story short, they offered me a job. In their office. I have been sitting here for the last 5 hours trying to think of reasons why I should turn them down and I really can't think of reasons other than it would seriously cut into my blogging time, I won't be able to watch Las V*gas re-runs on TNT during the day if I feel like it, the house won't get cleaned (ok, who am I kidding, that doesn't happen anyway). Right now, I work wonky hours and make my own schedule. I am usually at the computer from 6:30 am till 9 pm but not continuously, (I guess a more accurate description is that my computer is ON but I am certainly not working that whole time. As some of you have noticed I am able to comment on most of your blogs within seconds of you hitting post. I am attentive~that should be an asset don't you think ;) ? With BIG OFFICE probably going to phase me out with technology, the timing of this is amazing. I can still take care of my other clients on my days off (I would be working every Mon and Wed and 1/2 day every other Friday), I would be working with a doctor that I really like and respect, the office ladies are my age and fun, not catty at all, I can take days off whenever I need to, the office is less than 2 miles from my house, so, someone please tell my any reason I should turn them down because I can't think of any. I will need to do some shopping though, I don't think I should show up for work in my 10 year old sweats with the hole in the crotch (its not a big hole but rather a small air conditioning type portlet). I will have to buy some office appropriate pants, sweaters etc. I am not much of a shopper but I can give it a shot. Hell, I might even be able to swing shoes other than my croc*s. I will have to get back to you on that one. Well, weigh in and let me know what you think. They said want me to think it over but before they left at 5, they sent me a fax and asked if I could start Monday-and added that they are "very excited". If nothing else I am puffing my feathers right now. cockadoodledoo.

Blow your socks off good.

I can only pray that there isn't a Britany or a Paris or a Lindsay in the bunch. AMAZING. I actually got chills and god knows I am a jaded old wench. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKCVS57j284

Snow day

I have been a very bad blogger. With the weather, the flu (yes, I had a flu shot but once again it was for the wrong strain,,,,I don't know why I even bother getting stuck with the needle). Anyway...I have let all three of you readers down by not droning on about my life.

So here goes. I live in the Ohio area that has been socked by snow. It is beautiful. Because we are inundated, I can't get my car out of the garage which is fine, since I feel crappy anyway and have no desire to go anywhere. Who cares if the family starves (it doesn't matter that we have a freezer and pantry full of food, they swear they will starve if I don't prepare it, which I have no intention of doing).

Lets see...my week in review. Still no word from BIG OFFICE that they are going to replace me with machinery...it has now been several weeks since they signed on the dotted line. We shall see how long it takes.

I took S2 to his chosen college for his orientation/class scheduling/dorm matching/etc day this week. Does anyone else think it is a bit strange that they are scheduling all his classes etc in March, when school doesn't start till the end of August? On the up side, because of his prompt attention he was able to snag classes that he wanted and none of them start before 1 pm. WOW. I want that schedule. During one of the presentations (they do this program for 50 kids every day, till they are all scheduled) they talked to us about how the kids come to college with their partying ways already well ingrained. Some of the parents looked bewildered and I feel sorry for them. They are in for a rude awakening. This is the same school that S1 is already attending and I can tell you from the bits and pieces that he tells me, any substance you choose for partying, is available everywhere on campus. In his dorm there is one room that is known for any kind of beer (hidden in the closet while the kids clothes are in a box under his bed), another room for hard liqueur, one for weed and yet another one for any prescription drug you want. These kids are all making money to pay for their education. Sad huh? Don't even get me started on college costs, because that is a post by itself. One thing I will tell you is that every student needs to fill out a FAF*SA form to determine how much grant money etc they are eligible for. The only thing I care to expound on regarding that form is that it is typical government bullshit-example, on pg 5 it asks for a number that is on pg 8 which would be fine but you can't figure out the number on pg 8 without filling out pg 5. Yeah, like I said bullshit.

Other than tearing my hair out yesterday filling out that form, having the flu, spending a day at college with S2, trying to do laundry without getting short of breath (certain it is due to the bug and not my expanding girth, commonly referred to in our house as "winter weight" that I wish would go away), and OH, I almost forgot....on Thursday we brought a dog home for Harley to meet. A volunteer rescue organization in our area saves dogs from our kill shelter and keeps them with volunteers till they find families, anyway they agreed to let us bring this little guy home for the afternoon to see how we liked him and how Harley did with him. We thought he was really cute but after a couple hours of him literally bouncing OVER Harley, we decided that he was a little too much energy so we are still looking for a dog for Harley. (And he was a little freaked out by the hyperness of the visitor so we will be looking for a more subtle friend:).

I thought for your viewing pleasure I would post a few pix for those of you that are living where you are snow free, so you could see what great times you are missing. (Yes, that was sarcastic-I would love to be living in a warm beachy area right now!)

This is out the kitchen window this morning....huge difference from the white-out conditions of yesterday!

Poor dog...too stupid to realize that he didn't go OUT that door so he can't come IN that door. I honestly think he would have sat there for hours-he is so sweet. When we yelled for him to come in through the garage where he went out, he came bounding around the corner with a look that could be interpreted as "hot damn! I figured it out".

In case you were worried about our laughing at our slightly stupid but adorable pup, this is what S2 did when he came in. Yeah, any dog that comes here, hits paydirt. (And NO my couch isnt pink..it must be the lighting, it is actually burgundy).

The end.

Marquee thoughts

Do you ever have days where really crazy random things scroll through your head like on a marquee? Today is one of those days. I didn’t sleep worth a crap last night thanks to our ever present guard dog. I have mentioned before that we have a lot of deer in our area and on most mornings there is evidence they have been around but for some reason last night Harley alerted to them sleeping in our back yard—this being around 2:30 am. I don’t know if he heard them or smelled them but he felt it was right to come sit on my head to get a better look out the window. No barking, he knows better…but he did insist that I know he was protecting me from the dreaded deadly deer intruders so I got up, looked, saw the biggest buck I have ever seen here before, told Harley all was well and they had my permission to lounge throughout the yard. This went on for a very long time and when he finally settled down, BigD decided it was time to start thrashing again. He finally got up about 4:30 and went to play scrabble online. Then I got cold because he is my version of a blast furnace so when he leaves, and most of the covers have been rolled to his side of the bed during his thrashing session, I am laying there shivering. I find that is when I do most of my random thinking. This morning I was thinking politics, money (or a lack of), college, our heating bill, the state of my marriage, whether we should get another dog (I know, I am crazy), wondering if I am going to be able to survive another teenaged boy (S3 is 13-please send prayers), O.prahs show about giving away money (didn’t see it but heard about it), one of my blogger friends that is sad right now and there is nothing I can do to help, wanting to take a vacation (see above re: lack of money), making a list of all the things I need to do today which is overwhelming, why coaches schedule a sport practice starting at 9 pm on a school night for a 7th grader, and those were just in the first few minutes of laying there. Politics. Okay, I know I am probably opening a flood gate here but I am curious to see how you all are leaning towards. I am usually very slow to decide. I tend to listen and watch and hear pro’s and con’s then make a decision. I have a feeling our next president will be either Hil.ary or B.arak. M.Cain will have a presence but I think people are really wanting a change and I don't think he represents that change. This morning, I THINK I have decided (we vote on Tuesday here). The one thing that makes me crazy is that some people are deciding on either the WOMAN or the BLACK MAN. People…vote for the person that has the ability to get the job done. It doesn’t matter what their sex or color is. I heard B.arak say something yesterday that was like a smack upside my head...it was about health care and that H.ilary wants everyone to buy insurance..B.arak said that he didnt think the problem was that Americans didn't want health insurance it was they couldn't afford health insurance. That is a short statement that seemed to sum up exactly what the problem is. My own brother (who is a post all by himself) cannot afford insurance, too young for Medicare, in crappy health and is exactly the kind of person they both are talking about. Dare I say it without driving any of you away, I am voting B.arak on Tuesday. He makes me comfortable and I think he is very bright, bright enough to surround himself with other bright people to help him make some decisions that are very important for our country right now. Then I started wondering what I would do if someone (O.prah) gave me bunches of money to give away. Obviously there are places like shelters for battered women, animal rescue organizations and a plethora of other places that could use the money but usually these places are well mentioned in their local medias and people usually step up and make donations. I started thinking that the perfect thing for me to do would be to start a scholarship fund. I know what you are thinking, yes there are millions of them but mine would be special. It would be for the average kid. Like mine. Why has average become a negative?? I want to give money to the kind of kid that is going to have to go to college using student loans, have average athletic skills, are B, C students, have huge hearts and are good people. None of my boys are ever going to go to ivy league, nor do they want to. They love sports but are team players and not the standout 2 or 3 that the colleges will angle for. They are okay in school but rarely honor roll. They are loved by teachers for their wit and ability to relax a class, though at times have been told to knock it off when they get the teacher off topic, an ability at which they excel. Yeah, I would start a fund to help defray the cost for those kids that really aspire to go to college and be productive citizens but don’t have the opportunity to meet the qualifications of the students that are at the top of the class. (Did you ever notice that a lot of those kids come from wealthy families that are able to give their kids the best private school educations and private coaches for their chosen sport? Yep, the families where paying college expenses is not typically an issue, yet those are the kids that get the free rides…hmmmm). So let me know what some of your random early morning thoughts are, I have to get back to work to pay the above mentioned heat bill since O.prah hasn’t called yet this morning.

I think it's love

When S1 was in 7th grade he had his first crush. The kind of crush that makes 7th grade boys act like dopes and say and do stupid things thinking they are cool. I had the hardest time convincing him that 7th grade girls think 7th grade boys are kinda stupid when they act like monkeys-he didn’t believe me. Fast forward to high-school. S1 was very socially awkward and very shy. He preferred skipping school functions and basically skipping anything that was out of his comfort zone. When he was a sophomore he had a "girlfriend". It was one of those boyfriend/girlfriend things were nobody has a license and someone’s parent needs to do the driving to and from movies, the malls, et cetera while the boy and girl both sat in the back seat giggling nervously while holding hands. This girl was very smart (it’s a good thing too because that is about all she had going for her-mean but true.) Anyway that relationship lasted about a month and S1 didn’t venture out after that for awhile and we didn’t pressure him. We knew he would come into his own when the time was right. One day the summer before his junior year he went to the grocery store with me. In front of us in the checkout line was a very tall, pretty girl that gave S1 a bashful glance and one of those little waves where your hand never really leaves your side but wiggles back and forth before slamming back down against your leg. I mentioned to S1 that she was really pretty and he said, "yeah, that’s *****" the name I remembered from 7th grade. I could tell he was interested because he was completely tongue tied and his posture screamed ‘I have no idea what to do next’. It made me smile but I didn’t think much about it after we got home. Two days later S1 came out of his room with the pronouncement that he thought me might call checkout line girl and ask her to a movie. I looked at him to see if he was joking or serious and when I saw the look on his face I knew it was something he had thought about and had worked up the courage to do it. Inside I was panic stricken, nobody wants to see anyone they love hurt and I was so worried that if she turned him down, he would be devastated but I would be there to pick up the pieces. He called, she said yes and they have been together ever since~2 ½ years. They are at different colleges but talk daily and a couple times a month they both come home for the weekend and see each other. He called today to tell me she had spent the night with him on Friday (I refuse to let my mind go there—but I did have another "little talk" with him about responsibility et cetera) anyway, he went on to tell me that she had a little bit too much to drink and he had to hold her long hair for her while she puked…if that doesn’t say I love you, then I don’t know what does. *yes, I know they are underage, please don't tell me to lecture him, I have done that over and over...he never drives anywhere and if he feels sick, then he deserves it.

Another snippet for my someday book

Remember the office manager that I told you drove me crazy? The one that talks in rapid fire, without breathing, asking questions and keeps talking when you try to answer? Well, she is at it again. I get a call yesterday afternoon and as soon as I said in my cheery little voice "This is OHN, may I help yo...." she starts ranting. She started asking me where file x, y and z weretheyshouldhavebeenbackbynowsowherearethey? As I try to answer she keeps talking and talking and talking. Finally I got out that they were sent back to her LAST week but not to worry because I am completely on top of my game, I have them backed up so it is no problem to RESEND them to her...all the while keeping my voice a cheery little lilt. She finally calmed down, I told her to give me 10 minutes to retrieve all of them and they would be on the way. I had no sooner hung up and opened my documents when the phone rang again...guess who? She starts ranting again. She found the files but they were on the wrong computer in their office. HUH? I really didn't get what she was talking about so I tried to listen to her rant to try to figure it out.......seems as though the computer they use to download my files wasn't working correctly and their emails weren't loading. She wanted to know why I had sent the files to the other computer...I had an AHA moment.....SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I COULD PICK WHICH COMPUTER THE FILES WENT TO (USING THE ONLY EMAIL ADDRESS THAT I HAVE BEEN USING FOR 3 YEARS) AND SHE WAS PISSED THAT I SENT IT TO SECRETARY A INSTEAD OF SECRETARY B. What a stupid shit. At this rate she is bound to have a stroke soon and I won't have to deal with her any more.When S3 stopped laughing he said "mom you should sue her for pain and suffering" unfortunately honey, stupid isn't illegal.

update on my little life

Well……3 weeks ago today the big office signed the EMR paperwork and I still haven’t been told by the powers that be that this has happened, BUT, my mole on the inside told me word around the office is that the EMR won't be in place till spring (here in Ohio, we never know when spring will arrive so we will have to wait and see) so…..I am going to cut them some slack and not be pissed that they haven’t told me. To be honest I probably wouldn’t tell someone months ahead of time either so we will see how this plays out. BUT, because I was totally freaked out I spent last Monday composing and sending out 40 letters to physicians in a 30 mile radius and I had planned on making follow-up calls on Friday but before I could even make any calls, I got a call from one of the offices wanting to meet with me. I won’t go into all the boring details but I met with them on Friday and worked my ample ass off all weekend so I could impress the heck out of them on Monday when I returned their work. This was quite a feat considering that I had TWO computers crash on me. I don’t even want to think about it so I am not going to. Suffice to say that while the two new ones are being repaired and updated, I am now working on my antique computer from 1997 and it is purring like a kitten. Anyway as for the new office, it looks very promising and while 1 doc can't make up for 4, I feel better knowing that now that I am out there, things could improve. I would hate like crazy to have to start eating road kill.

Updating the homestead

I thought you might like to see the new swing I put up while BigD was at work today.

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Jane Devin letter to young pregnant girls

I loved this letter that Jane Devin wrote as an open letter to expectant girls. I WOULD NOT recommend viewing the video if you are having a fragile day. It is heartbreaking. But....the letter is very well written and it is something I think every highschool should post in the girls restooms. http://janedevin.com

EWWWWWW

I know I already posted today but in the name of science I felt the need to inform my fellow bloggers about this new discovery. I was "job hunting" and stumbled upon this article. Medicine is wonderful but I really don't think I would rank these on my must have pet list. http://news.aol.com/story/_a/strange-creature-immune-to-pain/20080129120109990001 Around these parts we call that fugly.

Autism

I am sticking a link here that if you are in the process of IF or adopting, you may not want to watch as it has some pretty cute kids in it. BUT, you may want to click the link anyway as the money raised is for a very very important cause. Autism has touched my heart and soul and it has become almost an epidemic and the research is not being done. The video is about 3-4 minutes long but the money raised is well worth your time. The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure for autism. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your loved ones. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. This is very moving and a great way to contribute! http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

Follow up and lifes necessities

Well....I guess I should stay away from my keyboard when I am upset, my fingers pound out profanities when I am not looking. I re-read my post from yesterday and while I am still in shock I have so many things to be thankful for and I can't forget that. Strangely enough, BigD thinks that I am taking this situation too personally. I can't help it. I feel like I am being kicked to the curb but nobody has bothered to tell me...when they will, is yet to be seen. From a business standpoint, if I were their office manager I would have switched to EMR before now. Economically it does make sense. I just don't like the way it "isn't" being handled. I told the boys we are going to have to really watch our spending and they were all great and understanding. It's a little funny...they all think this is no big deal. Maybe I AM over-reacting but when I am worried about making the house payments, gas, electric, food, college tuition and books and the gazillion miscellaneous things that life throws at you, I don't think I am over reacting.

On the plus side, I have been blessed to be able to work from home the entire time the boys were growing up. I was here when they walked out the door in the morning and when they got off the bus. It will be a big change if I have to take on a 9-5 along with the other offices I still have and it will mean less time here but I don't dare complain...I have been too fortunate.

So anyway...S1 came home from college this weekend. He is building a computer for a local business man and had to talk to him about specs. When he walked in he asked if he could get some new shoes while he was home so I did what any self respecting American who is about to undergo a catastrophic loss of income would do...I gave him my credit card and said...go get some shoes son. And from what you can see....not a minute too soon. S1 RARELY wears sneakers. When the other kids were begging for the newest A*R J*RDANS or another trendy shoe, S1 was wearing these. This year is really the first year I have even seen him wearing jeans. He is one dressy dude. Now he can walk around campus and actually have some traction.

Got Doc's?

Fuck EMR’s . Seriously. I found out this morning BY ACCIDENT that I am going to be losing my biggest account—the one that makes the house payment--- because the office is converting to EMR. For those of you that don’t know what that is, they are electronic medical records where the physician uses a template on a computer to input your problems and it is saved so other physicians in that system can access the data when necessary-a paperless record so to speak. (This is a very tiny explanation but it gives you the basic idea). They are the newest trend in health care and while I knew that someday all physicians offices would be switched to this type of system, this office I was fairly certain would not. There are 3 docs and one CNP in this practice and two of the docs are older and not good with change. The young one however, he is fairly fresh out of med school and is computer savvy so he is the one pushing the EMR. I think the thing that pisses me off more than anything is that I found out by accident. I had a call this morning from one of the office girls about something totally unrelated and she mentioned that the docs signed the paper work last Monday! She didn’t even know that meant I would be out of a job until I told her. She feels terrible about saying anything and made me promise not to let on that I know what is coming. I won't rat her out but I will tell the entire internet community. So it will be very interesting to see if they give me any kind of notice, or just one day work will not show up in my inbox. To give you a bit of background I have taken care of their transcription for almost 10 years. Granted I am not actually an employee but I know them all very very well—they happen to be the boys and husband’s physicians too. Interesting. I have never had a complaint, only praise from them, I have saved their collective asses more than I can tell you and there is a part of me that hopes their EMR crashes and they have no backup. You just don’t pull this kind of thing without even a heads up. As recently as last week I spoke with their office manager and she was delightfully thanking me for an idea that I had that is saving them a lot of grief in the records department. I know it all comes down to cold hard cash. Yes, they did pay me for my work. I just think it sucks that they could do this without feeling any need to let me know that I need to start looking for a new job. If we had an acrimonious relationship I would get it but we had moved past the point of an ancillary employee to that of friend and I deserve better than this. I have other clients but they are single doctor practices and they only cover the miscellaneous expenses of the family as obviously they are charged according to the amount of work they need and they produce less work. I love what I do and I am very very good at it. I do not want to start job hunting. I am reeling right now and have run the gamut of emotions in the last couple of hours. I am pissed, hurt, scared, nervous, and a few other things. I spent the last two hours putting together my resume…which I haven't had to do in many many years. My references are great so with hope I will be able to pick up more single offices to make up the difference. Since my work is all done digitally, I am not limited to my office area…so any of you docs in the United States reading this, ignore my first word in his post and know that I am an honest, hard working, intelligent, responsible, reliable, well educated woman with needs. Shit.

A first

Thanks all for suggesting I keep the bowl. I have it on a shelf in my office. I still haven't decided what to put in it but I will think of something. This was too good not to share. I went to the grocery store with S3 today. I practically live at this store or at least my money does. I only needed a couple things for tonight's dinner so I was planning on popping in and out fast. I got to the produce area and noticed a gathering of people forming a sort of circle. At first I thought that maybe someone had passed out or needed medical attention but everyone was smiling so either they were being very rude or it wasn't something tragic. As we got closer I saw a really cute guy singing--odd place to belt out a song buddy but hey, whatever. Then I saw that he was singing to a girl that works at the store. She was holding flowers, and was blushing a glorious shade of pink. As the cute guy finished his song, he dropped to one knee and asked the blushing girl to marry him. There had to be at least 30 of us standing there watching amid the potatoes and carrots and when she said yes we all burst out in applause. It was absolutely charming. S3 thought it was pretty stupid (he is 13) and I stood there wondering what their future would bring. They seemed so young. He had obviously been planning this because either his or her parents were there with a video camera and others were taking pictures. The blushing girl looked completely surprised and completely in love. It was so sweet and at that moment, for the first time in quite some time, I felt old. Maybe old isn't the right word. Experienced seems to fit better. I don't think I would like to go back though. All of the things in my past have made me what I am today. I am certainly a LOT more confident than when I was this girls age but it would be nice to see if there is anything that could make me blush again.

It is just a bowl

It’s just a bowl.

It doesn’t matter that every time I use it I think of my mom. That was the bowl that she made her tuna fish in…the one with just the right amount of miracle whip to tuna ratio and given the day she added either chives or finely chopped green onions.

It is just a bowl.

It doesn’t matter that when we had egg salad, that bowl was in the fridge waiting for me to grab some crackers and sneak a scoop because it was just so good.

It is just a bowl. I keep telling myself that but when I heard that quiet little crack, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach like when I was 6 and someone just broke one of my toys. I even hesitated before I put it in the microwave, wondering if I should, but it is glass and I put glass bowls in the microwave all the time..just not this one.

It is just a bowl. Why am I so sad that it is going to head to the trash?? Because it is a tangible thing that I can actually touch that gives me good memories of a childhood that didn’t have that many highlights. I can’t believe I am even blogging about this..it’s just a bowl.

Tagged

I have been tagged by http://heretomaternity.wordpress.com/ to come up with seven things about me you don't know. I think I am pretty much an open book but I will try: 1) I have absolutely no artistic talent. NONE. I know people often say that while they are showing you their wonderful creations, but I truly can't even draw a straight line. 2) I am chronologically older than I feel. Some days I am truly surprised when I look in the mirror and see who is looking back. She is old. 3) I like to be alone. I love my family but there are many times where I am so overwhelmed by their loudness and needs that I secretly wish I could have a week with the house all to myself with the animals. (For the record my family includes 3 teen aged boys and a husband-I am not sure if it would be different with daughters...maybe they are less needy and quieter??) 4) I am a terrific bargain shopper, though I hate to shop. If I can't get it online or at my friendly neighborhood tar*et then, I probably won't buy it. I think EB$Y was invented for me. 5) I like to drive fast. I would love to get behind the wheel of a race car on a track and let loose! 6) I am very afraid of heights. In some weird way, I feel like I don't trust myself, that I would let myself jump or something. I am also terrified of snakes, especially small ones. The huge 10' pythons don't scare me as much as a garden snake. It literally sends me hyperventilating, at a dead run, to get away. 7) I hate cleaning and wish I could afford a cleaning lady to come in for about an hour each day, just to help me keep up. Now if you have read this, it is only fair that you pony up on your blog and tell me 7 things about you..c'mon, let 'er rip!