Mixed emotions

I know it sounds weird but I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day. When I look back, I can only remember two Mother's Days when I was completely and utterly content. Before the first one, I was trying so desperately to become a mom that I loathed every mention of the day. It was like smacking my head against a brick wall over and over and over again. The advertising was relentless and it was torture. Sure, when I was a little kid M-Day was fine and I gave my mom her share of hand-print cards and ceramic ashtrays made in art class (yeah, EVERYONE smoked when I was a kid and ashtrays were a part of the decor of each room of the house) but once I got married M-Day took on a whole new flavor. I had wanted to be a mother since I was old enough to talk. I remember vividly as a kindergartner we had to go around the classroom and tell everyone what we wanted to do when we grew up. I couldn't believe that anyone wanted to "do" anything other than be a mom. Once my dream was realized and I had become a mom I had two M-Days to celebrate before I lost MY mom. I was devastated and from that point on, I was nobody's daughter. So while the flower shops are bustling and candy boxes are flying off the shelf, I am ambivalent about a day that is supposed to celebrate what I do the other 364 days of the year, without recognition. So after this maudlin post I will leave you with this video. You can replace these faces with the faces of my two oldest. I swear this is what it is like at home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU