Saturday, May 09, 2009

Mixed emotions

I know it sounds weird but I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day. When I look back, I can only remember two Mother's Days when I was completely and utterly content. Before the first one, I was trying so desperately to become a mom that I loathed every mention of the day. It was like smacking my head against a brick wall over and over and over again. The advertising was relentless and it was torture. Sure, when I was a little kid M-Day was fine and I gave my mom her share of hand-print cards and ceramic ashtrays made in art class (yeah, EVERYONE smoked when I was a kid and ashtrays were a part of the decor of each room of the house) but once I got married M-Day took on a whole new flavor. I had wanted to be a mother since I was old enough to talk. I remember vividly as a kindergartner we had to go around the classroom and tell everyone what we wanted to do when we grew up. I couldn't believe that anyone wanted to "do" anything other than be a mom. Once my dream was realized and I had become a mom I had two M-Days to celebrate before I lost MY mom. I was devastated and from that point on, I was nobody's daughter. So while the flower shops are bustling and candy boxes are flying off the shelf, I am ambivalent about a day that is supposed to celebrate what I do the other 364 days of the year, without recognition. So after this maudlin post I will leave you with this video. You can replace these faces with the faces of my two oldest. I swear this is what it is like at home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU

2 comments:

♥SimaG Jewelry♥ said...

Happy Mother's Day To You!
I love your blog,I LOVE ALL OF YOUR PHOTO'S..they made us laugh.

B E A U T I F U L ...

LOVE,
Sima

DD said...

You are still your Mom's daughter even if she's no longer here to tell you thank you for the ashtrays and lilac blooms or tulips from her garden.

Happy M-Day, today and for the other 364 days.