My decision

I called them back this morning and told them I would love to join their crew. Honestly these are some of the nicest ladies you could imagine. They are welcoming me with open arms. The doc is a urologist that has been in a solo practice for over 20 years and has seen it all, and for the most part, his main staff has been with him the entire time. I think that says a lot about the environment and the boss himself. I will have my own office area to complete my tasks and nobody breathing down my neck. If it were another one of my clients I most likely would not have even considered a position like this but this bunch, I couldn't turn down. The lady I talked to this morning told me she went home last night was was telling her husband that I was considering the position and that for her it was a "dream come true". Wow...if that doesn't boost my ego for the day then there is something wrong with me :) Also...I haven't mentioned that BigD is leaving tonight for Savannah for a 4 day bar hopping drinking fest with a motor home full of other BigD types celebrating St. Patty's day...20 years ago I would have been jealous, pissed, worried etc etc. But now, I am looking forward to the king size bed ALL TO MYSELF , eating cereal for dinner (the boys are excited that I said yes to pizza, Chinese, subw*y, whatever they want as long as I don't have to cook it:), I have a local painter coming in to paint the hideous bathroom tomorrow and Friday and don't have to listen to BigD bitch about it not being done right etc--it will be done and paid for before he gets home, again thanks to new job :), and most importantly I most likely will not put on any makeup or blow dry my hair, because face it, I really only do that stuff to fool him into thinking I am still the pretty young thing he married all those years ago. If it were up to me a little lip gloss and I would be done. Anyway, I am now not only self employed but office employed, I get a few days of "freedom", no stove to fire up and I will finally be able to go use the bathroom without the walls making me want to vomit. Wow what a life. ps--I will post photos of the before and after of the ugly to nice bathroom on the weekend.

Silver lining?

I got a call out of the blue at noon today from one of my clients. Actually it is the very first client I ever had. He gave me a chance when I was just starting out and I have been forever grateful. To make a long story short, they offered me a job. In their office. I have been sitting here for the last 5 hours trying to think of reasons why I should turn them down and I really can't think of reasons other than it would seriously cut into my blogging time, I won't be able to watch Las V*gas re-runs on TNT during the day if I feel like it, the house won't get cleaned (ok, who am I kidding, that doesn't happen anyway). Right now, I work wonky hours and make my own schedule. I am usually at the computer from 6:30 am till 9 pm but not continuously, (I guess a more accurate description is that my computer is ON but I am certainly not working that whole time. As some of you have noticed I am able to comment on most of your blogs within seconds of you hitting post. I am attentive~that should be an asset don't you think ;) ? With BIG OFFICE probably going to phase me out with technology, the timing of this is amazing. I can still take care of my other clients on my days off (I would be working every Mon and Wed and 1/2 day every other Friday), I would be working with a doctor that I really like and respect, the office ladies are my age and fun, not catty at all, I can take days off whenever I need to, the office is less than 2 miles from my house, so, someone please tell my any reason I should turn them down because I can't think of any. I will need to do some shopping though, I don't think I should show up for work in my 10 year old sweats with the hole in the crotch (its not a big hole but rather a small air conditioning type portlet). I will have to buy some office appropriate pants, sweaters etc. I am not much of a shopper but I can give it a shot. Hell, I might even be able to swing shoes other than my croc*s. I will have to get back to you on that one. Well, weigh in and let me know what you think. They said want me to think it over but before they left at 5, they sent me a fax and asked if I could start Monday-and added that they are "very excited". If nothing else I am puffing my feathers right now. cockadoodledoo.

Blow your socks off good.

I can only pray that there isn't a Britany or a Paris or a Lindsay in the bunch. AMAZING. I actually got chills and god knows I am a jaded old wench. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKCVS57j284

Snow day

I have been a very bad blogger. With the weather, the flu (yes, I had a flu shot but once again it was for the wrong strain,,,,I don't know why I even bother getting stuck with the needle). Anyway...I have let all three of you readers down by not droning on about my life.

So here goes. I live in the Ohio area that has been socked by snow. It is beautiful. Because we are inundated, I can't get my car out of the garage which is fine, since I feel crappy anyway and have no desire to go anywhere. Who cares if the family starves (it doesn't matter that we have a freezer and pantry full of food, they swear they will starve if I don't prepare it, which I have no intention of doing).

Lets see...my week in review. Still no word from BIG OFFICE that they are going to replace me with machinery...it has now been several weeks since they signed on the dotted line. We shall see how long it takes.

I took S2 to his chosen college for his orientation/class scheduling/dorm matching/etc day this week. Does anyone else think it is a bit strange that they are scheduling all his classes etc in March, when school doesn't start till the end of August? On the up side, because of his prompt attention he was able to snag classes that he wanted and none of them start before 1 pm. WOW. I want that schedule. During one of the presentations (they do this program for 50 kids every day, till they are all scheduled) they talked to us about how the kids come to college with their partying ways already well ingrained. Some of the parents looked bewildered and I feel sorry for them. They are in for a rude awakening. This is the same school that S1 is already attending and I can tell you from the bits and pieces that he tells me, any substance you choose for partying, is available everywhere on campus. In his dorm there is one room that is known for any kind of beer (hidden in the closet while the kids clothes are in a box under his bed), another room for hard liqueur, one for weed and yet another one for any prescription drug you want. These kids are all making money to pay for their education. Sad huh? Don't even get me started on college costs, because that is a post by itself. One thing I will tell you is that every student needs to fill out a FAF*SA form to determine how much grant money etc they are eligible for. The only thing I care to expound on regarding that form is that it is typical government bullshit-example, on pg 5 it asks for a number that is on pg 8 which would be fine but you can't figure out the number on pg 8 without filling out pg 5. Yeah, like I said bullshit.

Other than tearing my hair out yesterday filling out that form, having the flu, spending a day at college with S2, trying to do laundry without getting short of breath (certain it is due to the bug and not my expanding girth, commonly referred to in our house as "winter weight" that I wish would go away), and OH, I almost forgot....on Thursday we brought a dog home for Harley to meet. A volunteer rescue organization in our area saves dogs from our kill shelter and keeps them with volunteers till they find families, anyway they agreed to let us bring this little guy home for the afternoon to see how we liked him and how Harley did with him. We thought he was really cute but after a couple hours of him literally bouncing OVER Harley, we decided that he was a little too much energy so we are still looking for a dog for Harley. (And he was a little freaked out by the hyperness of the visitor so we will be looking for a more subtle friend:).

I thought for your viewing pleasure I would post a few pix for those of you that are living where you are snow free, so you could see what great times you are missing. (Yes, that was sarcastic-I would love to be living in a warm beachy area right now!)

This is out the kitchen window this morning....huge difference from the white-out conditions of yesterday!

Poor dog...too stupid to realize that he didn't go OUT that door so he can't come IN that door. I honestly think he would have sat there for hours-he is so sweet. When we yelled for him to come in through the garage where he went out, he came bounding around the corner with a look that could be interpreted as "hot damn! I figured it out".

In case you were worried about our laughing at our slightly stupid but adorable pup, this is what S2 did when he came in. Yeah, any dog that comes here, hits paydirt. (And NO my couch isnt pink..it must be the lighting, it is actually burgundy).

The end.

Marquee thoughts

Do you ever have days where really crazy random things scroll through your head like on a marquee? Today is one of those days. I didn’t sleep worth a crap last night thanks to our ever present guard dog. I have mentioned before that we have a lot of deer in our area and on most mornings there is evidence they have been around but for some reason last night Harley alerted to them sleeping in our back yard—this being around 2:30 am. I don’t know if he heard them or smelled them but he felt it was right to come sit on my head to get a better look out the window. No barking, he knows better…but he did insist that I know he was protecting me from the dreaded deadly deer intruders so I got up, looked, saw the biggest buck I have ever seen here before, told Harley all was well and they had my permission to lounge throughout the yard. This went on for a very long time and when he finally settled down, BigD decided it was time to start thrashing again. He finally got up about 4:30 and went to play scrabble online. Then I got cold because he is my version of a blast furnace so when he leaves, and most of the covers have been rolled to his side of the bed during his thrashing session, I am laying there shivering. I find that is when I do most of my random thinking. This morning I was thinking politics, money (or a lack of), college, our heating bill, the state of my marriage, whether we should get another dog (I know, I am crazy), wondering if I am going to be able to survive another teenaged boy (S3 is 13-please send prayers), O.prahs show about giving away money (didn’t see it but heard about it), one of my blogger friends that is sad right now and there is nothing I can do to help, wanting to take a vacation (see above re: lack of money), making a list of all the things I need to do today which is overwhelming, why coaches schedule a sport practice starting at 9 pm on a school night for a 7th grader, and those were just in the first few minutes of laying there. Politics. Okay, I know I am probably opening a flood gate here but I am curious to see how you all are leaning towards. I am usually very slow to decide. I tend to listen and watch and hear pro’s and con’s then make a decision. I have a feeling our next president will be either Hil.ary or B.arak. M.Cain will have a presence but I think people are really wanting a change and I don't think he represents that change. This morning, I THINK I have decided (we vote on Tuesday here). The one thing that makes me crazy is that some people are deciding on either the WOMAN or the BLACK MAN. People…vote for the person that has the ability to get the job done. It doesn’t matter what their sex or color is. I heard B.arak say something yesterday that was like a smack upside my head...it was about health care and that H.ilary wants everyone to buy insurance..B.arak said that he didnt think the problem was that Americans didn't want health insurance it was they couldn't afford health insurance. That is a short statement that seemed to sum up exactly what the problem is. My own brother (who is a post all by himself) cannot afford insurance, too young for Medicare, in crappy health and is exactly the kind of person they both are talking about. Dare I say it without driving any of you away, I am voting B.arak on Tuesday. He makes me comfortable and I think he is very bright, bright enough to surround himself with other bright people to help him make some decisions that are very important for our country right now. Then I started wondering what I would do if someone (O.prah) gave me bunches of money to give away. Obviously there are places like shelters for battered women, animal rescue organizations and a plethora of other places that could use the money but usually these places are well mentioned in their local medias and people usually step up and make donations. I started thinking that the perfect thing for me to do would be to start a scholarship fund. I know what you are thinking, yes there are millions of them but mine would be special. It would be for the average kid. Like mine. Why has average become a negative?? I want to give money to the kind of kid that is going to have to go to college using student loans, have average athletic skills, are B, C students, have huge hearts and are good people. None of my boys are ever going to go to ivy league, nor do they want to. They love sports but are team players and not the standout 2 or 3 that the colleges will angle for. They are okay in school but rarely honor roll. They are loved by teachers for their wit and ability to relax a class, though at times have been told to knock it off when they get the teacher off topic, an ability at which they excel. Yeah, I would start a fund to help defray the cost for those kids that really aspire to go to college and be productive citizens but don’t have the opportunity to meet the qualifications of the students that are at the top of the class. (Did you ever notice that a lot of those kids come from wealthy families that are able to give their kids the best private school educations and private coaches for their chosen sport? Yep, the families where paying college expenses is not typically an issue, yet those are the kids that get the free rides…hmmmm). So let me know what some of your random early morning thoughts are, I have to get back to work to pay the above mentioned heat bill since O.prah hasn’t called yet this morning.

I think it's love

When S1 was in 7th grade he had his first crush. The kind of crush that makes 7th grade boys act like dopes and say and do stupid things thinking they are cool. I had the hardest time convincing him that 7th grade girls think 7th grade boys are kinda stupid when they act like monkeys-he didn’t believe me. Fast forward to high-school. S1 was very socially awkward and very shy. He preferred skipping school functions and basically skipping anything that was out of his comfort zone. When he was a sophomore he had a "girlfriend". It was one of those boyfriend/girlfriend things were nobody has a license and someone’s parent needs to do the driving to and from movies, the malls, et cetera while the boy and girl both sat in the back seat giggling nervously while holding hands. This girl was very smart (it’s a good thing too because that is about all she had going for her-mean but true.) Anyway that relationship lasted about a month and S1 didn’t venture out after that for awhile and we didn’t pressure him. We knew he would come into his own when the time was right. One day the summer before his junior year he went to the grocery store with me. In front of us in the checkout line was a very tall, pretty girl that gave S1 a bashful glance and one of those little waves where your hand never really leaves your side but wiggles back and forth before slamming back down against your leg. I mentioned to S1 that she was really pretty and he said, "yeah, that’s *****" the name I remembered from 7th grade. I could tell he was interested because he was completely tongue tied and his posture screamed ‘I have no idea what to do next’. It made me smile but I didn’t think much about it after we got home. Two days later S1 came out of his room with the pronouncement that he thought me might call checkout line girl and ask her to a movie. I looked at him to see if he was joking or serious and when I saw the look on his face I knew it was something he had thought about and had worked up the courage to do it. Inside I was panic stricken, nobody wants to see anyone they love hurt and I was so worried that if she turned him down, he would be devastated but I would be there to pick up the pieces. He called, she said yes and they have been together ever since~2 ½ years. They are at different colleges but talk daily and a couple times a month they both come home for the weekend and see each other. He called today to tell me she had spent the night with him on Friday (I refuse to let my mind go there—but I did have another "little talk" with him about responsibility et cetera) anyway, he went on to tell me that she had a little bit too much to drink and he had to hold her long hair for her while she puked…if that doesn’t say I love you, then I don’t know what does. *yes, I know they are underage, please don't tell me to lecture him, I have done that over and over...he never drives anywhere and if he feels sick, then he deserves it.

Another snippet for my someday book

Remember the office manager that I told you drove me crazy? The one that talks in rapid fire, without breathing, asking questions and keeps talking when you try to answer? Well, she is at it again. I get a call yesterday afternoon and as soon as I said in my cheery little voice "This is OHN, may I help yo...." she starts ranting. She started asking me where file x, y and z weretheyshouldhavebeenbackbynowsowherearethey? As I try to answer she keeps talking and talking and talking. Finally I got out that they were sent back to her LAST week but not to worry because I am completely on top of my game, I have them backed up so it is no problem to RESEND them to her...all the while keeping my voice a cheery little lilt. She finally calmed down, I told her to give me 10 minutes to retrieve all of them and they would be on the way. I had no sooner hung up and opened my documents when the phone rang again...guess who? She starts ranting again. She found the files but they were on the wrong computer in their office. HUH? I really didn't get what she was talking about so I tried to listen to her rant to try to figure it out.......seems as though the computer they use to download my files wasn't working correctly and their emails weren't loading. She wanted to know why I had sent the files to the other computer...I had an AHA moment.....SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT I COULD PICK WHICH COMPUTER THE FILES WENT TO (USING THE ONLY EMAIL ADDRESS THAT I HAVE BEEN USING FOR 3 YEARS) AND SHE WAS PISSED THAT I SENT IT TO SECRETARY A INSTEAD OF SECRETARY B. What a stupid shit. At this rate she is bound to have a stroke soon and I won't have to deal with her any more.When S3 stopped laughing he said "mom you should sue her for pain and suffering" unfortunately honey, stupid isn't illegal.

update on my little life

Well……3 weeks ago today the big office signed the EMR paperwork and I still haven’t been told by the powers that be that this has happened, BUT, my mole on the inside told me word around the office is that the EMR won't be in place till spring (here in Ohio, we never know when spring will arrive so we will have to wait and see) so…..I am going to cut them some slack and not be pissed that they haven’t told me. To be honest I probably wouldn’t tell someone months ahead of time either so we will see how this plays out. BUT, because I was totally freaked out I spent last Monday composing and sending out 40 letters to physicians in a 30 mile radius and I had planned on making follow-up calls on Friday but before I could even make any calls, I got a call from one of the offices wanting to meet with me. I won’t go into all the boring details but I met with them on Friday and worked my ample ass off all weekend so I could impress the heck out of them on Monday when I returned their work. This was quite a feat considering that I had TWO computers crash on me. I don’t even want to think about it so I am not going to. Suffice to say that while the two new ones are being repaired and updated, I am now working on my antique computer from 1997 and it is purring like a kitten. Anyway as for the new office, it looks very promising and while 1 doc can't make up for 4, I feel better knowing that now that I am out there, things could improve. I would hate like crazy to have to start eating road kill.

Updating the homestead

I thought you might like to see the new swing I put up while BigD was at work today.

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Jane Devin letter to young pregnant girls

I loved this letter that Jane Devin wrote as an open letter to expectant girls. I WOULD NOT recommend viewing the video if you are having a fragile day. It is heartbreaking. But....the letter is very well written and it is something I think every highschool should post in the girls restooms. http://janedevin.com

EWWWWWW

I know I already posted today but in the name of science I felt the need to inform my fellow bloggers about this new discovery. I was "job hunting" and stumbled upon this article. Medicine is wonderful but I really don't think I would rank these on my must have pet list. http://news.aol.com/story/_a/strange-creature-immune-to-pain/20080129120109990001 Around these parts we call that fugly.

Autism

I am sticking a link here that if you are in the process of IF or adopting, you may not want to watch as it has some pretty cute kids in it. BUT, you may want to click the link anyway as the money raised is for a very very important cause. Autism has touched my heart and soul and it has become almost an epidemic and the research is not being done. The video is about 3-4 minutes long but the money raised is well worth your time. The band, Five for Fighting, is generously donating $0.49 to Autism Speaks for *each time* this video is viewed. The funding goes toward research studies to help find a cure for autism. When you have a moment, please visit the link below to watch the video and pass it along to your loved ones. They are aiming for 10,000 hits, but hopefully we can help them to surpass this goal. This is very moving and a great way to contribute! http://www.whatkindofworlddoyouwant.com/videos/view/id/408214

Follow up and lifes necessities

Well....I guess I should stay away from my keyboard when I am upset, my fingers pound out profanities when I am not looking. I re-read my post from yesterday and while I am still in shock I have so many things to be thankful for and I can't forget that. Strangely enough, BigD thinks that I am taking this situation too personally. I can't help it. I feel like I am being kicked to the curb but nobody has bothered to tell me...when they will, is yet to be seen. From a business standpoint, if I were their office manager I would have switched to EMR before now. Economically it does make sense. I just don't like the way it "isn't" being handled. I told the boys we are going to have to really watch our spending and they were all great and understanding. It's a little funny...they all think this is no big deal. Maybe I AM over-reacting but when I am worried about making the house payments, gas, electric, food, college tuition and books and the gazillion miscellaneous things that life throws at you, I don't think I am over reacting.

On the plus side, I have been blessed to be able to work from home the entire time the boys were growing up. I was here when they walked out the door in the morning and when they got off the bus. It will be a big change if I have to take on a 9-5 along with the other offices I still have and it will mean less time here but I don't dare complain...I have been too fortunate.

So anyway...S1 came home from college this weekend. He is building a computer for a local business man and had to talk to him about specs. When he walked in he asked if he could get some new shoes while he was home so I did what any self respecting American who is about to undergo a catastrophic loss of income would do...I gave him my credit card and said...go get some shoes son. And from what you can see....not a minute too soon. S1 RARELY wears sneakers. When the other kids were begging for the newest A*R J*RDANS or another trendy shoe, S1 was wearing these. This year is really the first year I have even seen him wearing jeans. He is one dressy dude. Now he can walk around campus and actually have some traction.

Got Doc's?

Fuck EMR’s . Seriously. I found out this morning BY ACCIDENT that I am going to be losing my biggest account—the one that makes the house payment--- because the office is converting to EMR. For those of you that don’t know what that is, they are electronic medical records where the physician uses a template on a computer to input your problems and it is saved so other physicians in that system can access the data when necessary-a paperless record so to speak. (This is a very tiny explanation but it gives you the basic idea). They are the newest trend in health care and while I knew that someday all physicians offices would be switched to this type of system, this office I was fairly certain would not. There are 3 docs and one CNP in this practice and two of the docs are older and not good with change. The young one however, he is fairly fresh out of med school and is computer savvy so he is the one pushing the EMR. I think the thing that pisses me off more than anything is that I found out by accident. I had a call this morning from one of the office girls about something totally unrelated and she mentioned that the docs signed the paper work last Monday! She didn’t even know that meant I would be out of a job until I told her. She feels terrible about saying anything and made me promise not to let on that I know what is coming. I won't rat her out but I will tell the entire internet community. So it will be very interesting to see if they give me any kind of notice, or just one day work will not show up in my inbox. To give you a bit of background I have taken care of their transcription for almost 10 years. Granted I am not actually an employee but I know them all very very well—they happen to be the boys and husband’s physicians too. Interesting. I have never had a complaint, only praise from them, I have saved their collective asses more than I can tell you and there is a part of me that hopes their EMR crashes and they have no backup. You just don’t pull this kind of thing without even a heads up. As recently as last week I spoke with their office manager and she was delightfully thanking me for an idea that I had that is saving them a lot of grief in the records department. I know it all comes down to cold hard cash. Yes, they did pay me for my work. I just think it sucks that they could do this without feeling any need to let me know that I need to start looking for a new job. If we had an acrimonious relationship I would get it but we had moved past the point of an ancillary employee to that of friend and I deserve better than this. I have other clients but they are single doctor practices and they only cover the miscellaneous expenses of the family as obviously they are charged according to the amount of work they need and they produce less work. I love what I do and I am very very good at it. I do not want to start job hunting. I am reeling right now and have run the gamut of emotions in the last couple of hours. I am pissed, hurt, scared, nervous, and a few other things. I spent the last two hours putting together my resume…which I haven't had to do in many many years. My references are great so with hope I will be able to pick up more single offices to make up the difference. Since my work is all done digitally, I am not limited to my office area…so any of you docs in the United States reading this, ignore my first word in his post and know that I am an honest, hard working, intelligent, responsible, reliable, well educated woman with needs. Shit.

A first

Thanks all for suggesting I keep the bowl. I have it on a shelf in my office. I still haven't decided what to put in it but I will think of something. This was too good not to share. I went to the grocery store with S3 today. I practically live at this store or at least my money does. I only needed a couple things for tonight's dinner so I was planning on popping in and out fast. I got to the produce area and noticed a gathering of people forming a sort of circle. At first I thought that maybe someone had passed out or needed medical attention but everyone was smiling so either they were being very rude or it wasn't something tragic. As we got closer I saw a really cute guy singing--odd place to belt out a song buddy but hey, whatever. Then I saw that he was singing to a girl that works at the store. She was holding flowers, and was blushing a glorious shade of pink. As the cute guy finished his song, he dropped to one knee and asked the blushing girl to marry him. There had to be at least 30 of us standing there watching amid the potatoes and carrots and when she said yes we all burst out in applause. It was absolutely charming. S3 thought it was pretty stupid (he is 13) and I stood there wondering what their future would bring. They seemed so young. He had obviously been planning this because either his or her parents were there with a video camera and others were taking pictures. The blushing girl looked completely surprised and completely in love. It was so sweet and at that moment, for the first time in quite some time, I felt old. Maybe old isn't the right word. Experienced seems to fit better. I don't think I would like to go back though. All of the things in my past have made me what I am today. I am certainly a LOT more confident than when I was this girls age but it would be nice to see if there is anything that could make me blush again.

It is just a bowl

It’s just a bowl.

It doesn’t matter that every time I use it I think of my mom. That was the bowl that she made her tuna fish in…the one with just the right amount of miracle whip to tuna ratio and given the day she added either chives or finely chopped green onions.

It is just a bowl.

It doesn’t matter that when we had egg salad, that bowl was in the fridge waiting for me to grab some crackers and sneak a scoop because it was just so good.

It is just a bowl. I keep telling myself that but when I heard that quiet little crack, I got that sinking feeling in my stomach like when I was 6 and someone just broke one of my toys. I even hesitated before I put it in the microwave, wondering if I should, but it is glass and I put glass bowls in the microwave all the time..just not this one.

It is just a bowl. Why am I so sad that it is going to head to the trash?? Because it is a tangible thing that I can actually touch that gives me good memories of a childhood that didn’t have that many highlights. I can’t believe I am even blogging about this..it’s just a bowl.

Tagged

I have been tagged by http://heretomaternity.wordpress.com/ to come up with seven things about me you don't know. I think I am pretty much an open book but I will try: 1) I have absolutely no artistic talent. NONE. I know people often say that while they are showing you their wonderful creations, but I truly can't even draw a straight line. 2) I am chronologically older than I feel. Some days I am truly surprised when I look in the mirror and see who is looking back. She is old. 3) I like to be alone. I love my family but there are many times where I am so overwhelmed by their loudness and needs that I secretly wish I could have a week with the house all to myself with the animals. (For the record my family includes 3 teen aged boys and a husband-I am not sure if it would be different with daughters...maybe they are less needy and quieter??) 4) I am a terrific bargain shopper, though I hate to shop. If I can't get it online or at my friendly neighborhood tar*et then, I probably won't buy it. I think EB$Y was invented for me. 5) I like to drive fast. I would love to get behind the wheel of a race car on a track and let loose! 6) I am very afraid of heights. In some weird way, I feel like I don't trust myself, that I would let myself jump or something. I am also terrified of snakes, especially small ones. The huge 10' pythons don't scare me as much as a garden snake. It literally sends me hyperventilating, at a dead run, to get away. 7) I hate cleaning and wish I could afford a cleaning lady to come in for about an hour each day, just to help me keep up. Now if you have read this, it is only fair that you pony up on your blog and tell me 7 things about you..c'mon, let 'er rip!

He does have 4 legs

I started to walk up stairs last night and not only was there a new gargoyle sitting on top of the railing (how he got there and stayed balanced, I have no idea) but there was what appeared to be a three legged dog sitting on the step talking to the gargoyle.

Relatives UGH!

You are about to hear all the gorey details of my trip with S3 to see my beloved family. BigD and the other boys should be sooo completely in my debt for not bitching at them to go. I have mentioned before that my brother and I have an odd relationship. He is many years older than I am and we have NOTHING in common. To give you a glimpse into what he is like I have to give a description, which believe it or not, is hard to do. I can't even say..oh yeah, he is just like so and so because he isn't. He is very unique. Lets start by saying he has been divorced a couple of times and neither time was because of him (this is his thought anyway). The first wife..who by the way I am still very close to, he walked out on because she "just didn't do it for me any more". I guess it didn't matter that he had been screwing anything with a hole while this wife was lovingly caring for his two kids. He left one day on a business trip and never really went home. She was devastated as were the kids. As his kids grew up, in his fantasy world he felt like he was a GREAT dad because when the mood struck, he sent money to them or bought things for them. These were usually items he bought while globetrotting..skiing in Aspen, boating up and down the Atlantic, zooming in and out of Vegas, etc. In the meantime both his kids needed braces on their teeth and grandma talked to the walked out on wife and convinced her to let grandma pay for them. She knew the kids needed them and since their mom was working just to keep them in a good school district, housing and feeding them, grandma helped out. Same with a portion of the kids college expenses. I could go on and on and on with stories but I will leave you with the most recent installment that happened on this most recent visit....... He is a big guy...6'5" and big..not fat, just big with a BOOMING voice (that is louder since his hearing started to go--haha)..Anyway, we went to an area sportsy type bar/restaurant, small but great food. I am getting ahead of myself there is more to tell before the food even arrived. He is an avid fan of one particular football team that happened to be playing on TV that night. This place had two TV's and both were tuned in the that city's team that was playing...fyi, this city is known for its fans. Anyway, we had to go through 3 tables and 2 separate waitresses before big old uncle rob was positioned to see the TV just right. We had to move condiments, appetizers, drinks, utensils etc. oh joy. Then he found out that at 9 pm a live band was scheduled to begin. That is when the shit started hitting the fan. He called over the manager, demanded that the TV he was closest to be changed to watch his favorite team (12 states away) instead of the local pro team, and he asked if it was necessary for the band to play. NO SHIT, I am not kidding. This guy obviously feels that the world revolves around him..unbelievable. When the manager assured him that yes, the band will be playing and no, he wasn't going to cancel their evening for big old uncle rob, he resigned himself to being the grumbly customer. Of course the food wasn't right (mine was fabulous) and had to be sent back....I am picturing the cooks spitting on his food at this point..then when it came back it was "better" but not really right. When the band started warming up, there were several ladies doing a line dance on the dance floor..which happened to be directly in front of the big TV...guess what he did?? He YELLED at the ladies "what the hell are you doing"? I wanted to kick his ass at this point, but what I did do was look him directly in the eye and told him they had as much right to be there as he did. He looked at me like I was the crazy one. This is the guy that wonders why there aren't many second dates when he goes out with a woman....honestly, I couldn't even make this shit up! The final straw was when my niece and her husband were having a discussion about something she wanted him to do outside....my dear brother took it upon himself to get into the middle of the discussion, that had nothing to do with him, and start repeatedly asking when he was going to get the task done and why hadn't he done it earlier?? If I were this guy I think I would have punched old uncle rob right in the nose. I could literally write a book about him. BigD and the boys can only take him in very small doses and I hate to say it but I am joining the club. (this is yet more proof that you can be genetically related to someone and be polar opposites!)

Family visit do or die

Tomorrow bright and early I head out for a 3 hour drive to visit my niece, her husband and my brother (her father). So far the only other member of my immediate family that I have been able to con into going is S3 and that was only after promising junk food for the duration of the trip. BigD really doesn't care for my family...I admit they can be an acquired taste. S1 and S2 have gracefully declined the trip preferring to stay here and pick fuzz out of their belly buttons. You see, my brother is a tad annoying. Dear old uncle rob is very loud, very opinionated, has atrocious manners and is a completely ignorant know-it-all. Other than that....he is a great guy. We weren't raised together because of a huge age difference and I truly believe that one of us was found in a cabbage patch because there is no way on this earth that the two of us were conceived by the same sperm and egg pool. Well..the same pool spread out over many years. I like to think that by the time I was conceived the sperm and egg had aged like a fine wine. When he was conceived it wasn't past the grape juice stage. I only have to put up with him for 24 hours. In case you were wondering why I am going there instead of having him here....one time I invited him and he stayed for almost a month...yeah, yet another time I almost ended up divorced. Wish me luck.

Early Morning Conversation

The following conversation happened this morning in my house.... HIM: Hey honey have you seen my dickie? ME: It's right between your leggies. HIM: Very funny, have you seen my dickie? ME: Not in a very long time. HIM: Never mind. Someone woke up without his sense of humor this morning. (For those of you that may not know, a dickie is a fake shirt that only has a collar, so you can wear a shirt or sweater and LOOK like you have another shirt on underneath but really you just have 1/3 of a shirt with no body or arms, only a collar). Do they even make these any more????

Awwwww moment

I have no idea how old they are but they look young.....ahhhhh, nothing like young love. (and when your head hits a rock knowing that you will still end up together:) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epUk3T2Kfno

ARE YOU ONE OF 4055?

At a gas station in Minocqua Wisconson an employee accidentally changed the price of gas from $3.299 to 32.9 cents before closing up for the night. People using a credit card at the pump after the station was closed were treated to an early Christmas present. AOL polled people if they would go ahead and buy the gas, knowing that most probably it was someones error. So far 29634 people answered and 4055 said no. I would like to meet those people and see what makes them tick. I am an honest person (note previous post about my stupid desk lamp) but if I were to be truthful...I would have to say that I would fill up my tank, all 22 gallons of it, spending $7.26 instead of $72.57, and probably call my kids to fill theirs up too. I am honest but not stupid. But....if I found out that the employee was forced to pay the difference, I would cough up the dough to help him/her cover the loss----on the other hand if it was some oil exec that would feel the pennies shift in his pocket then honesty be damned and pump away. The bastards.

weird week

I almost don't want to even go over what has been going on this week because I will have to think about it again. Most of the chaos was work related but some was family fueled. I get the normal stress this time of year but for some reason this year it is not a happy stress. I have a couple of accounts that I typically have to bail out of confusion on a regular basis. One is an office manager that micromanages every freakin detail of the office. Every time my caller ID says it is her calling I truly don't want to answer. The girls that work in her office like her has a human, she is not evil, she is just hovering constantly and refuses to let people do the work they were hired to do. She called me completely freaked out this week about a minor problem with their equipment....which I have nothing to do with.....and she was talking so fast and asking 10 questions in a row without even taking a breath. I half hoped she would suddenly gasp and quit breathing altogether. As I tried to address her panicked questions one by one, she would interrupt and ask a totally different question before I could address the first one. I finally told her to STOP. I think my mom voice booming through her earpiece caught her attention because she did stop-for a second-long enough for me to tell her to relax, that all was well. I told her I could help her (at least 8 of the 10 rambling questions she asked were similar enough to answer fairly easily) and that she was going to have a stroke if she didn't calm down. Yep..I really did tell her that...I couldn't help it. Anyway, within a reasonable amount of time I had taken care of HER problem. Later that day she called again..once again that valuable caller ID tempted me to take a quick trip to the bathroom or outside to scream but I answered and the most unbelievable thing happened....SHE THANKED ME. Wow, I didn't see that one coming. She told me that even though she rarely tells me (yeah, like never) that she appreciates all the things I do for them and that they don't go unnoticed. Wow. She then told me that if she ever hears of another office that needs my service she would gladly sing my praises. So, I guess the migraine that she induced was worth it after all. I have another client that is one of a large chain of extended care facilities. (they used to be called nursing homes but that is such a downer they changed the name to sound less like a smelly, dank, depressing place to somewhere you might want to vacation). Anyway this facility has about 200 clients (actually patients but again we are trying to sound vacationy) and a huge staff. Out of that huge staff, they have ONE person that is trained to send the work to me. One, uno and guess what????-she got very sick and had emergency surgery and is now out for 3 months. The administrator called me in a panic and this situation is a lot more difficult than the micro manager situation above. This facility has to conform to the standards of their national headquarters and they are a tad behind the times. In their efforts to control their facilities, they have set up their computers so that it is impossible for anything to be sent beyond their own network and since I am not technically an employee there (I am an ancillary service) I don't have employee access. Trust me when I tell you it is a huge clusterfuck of details but I have to figure this out because they account for about 1/4 of my income and I can't lose that account so I have spent countless hours on this problem, on the phone with the headquarters in another state, talking with their tech support etc etc......my headache is coming back just thinking about it. Then last but not least I found out that S2 got into some trouble last week. Big D and I talked it over and amazingly Big D didn't over react in a cop kinda way (which is shocking as any other time he would have screamed, yelled, etc--this time he sat with S2 and talked for 2 hours...wow) So this has been a huge stressor for me. I won't go into details here because I have already rambled enough this morning but I will probably tell you about it down the road. Lets just sum this up by saying that these events on top of a few more things that I have suppressed from my consciousness have caused me to have a horrid week. I am now inundated with work (one of my best girls is off too) and will be stuck at my computer all day and night. Tomorrow I have to take S2 on a college visit ( it is either tomorrow or next Monday-the call came during one of my chaos days this week and honest to God I can't remember which Monday it is)..shit, does anyone have any valium???

Pay it forward and Harley's sister

A wonderful blogger friend, Beagle, posted this today....so in honor or her plagiarizing Starfish, I am plagiarizing HER with a simple copy/paste with a promise. The following is mostly plagiarized from Starfish's blog, because I am feeling lazy today: I am participating in a Pay It Forward "exchange" that Starfish is doing (You can follow the links all the way back to it's origin to see all the people who will benefit!) I will be performing a few not so random acts of kindness. Here are the rules:I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a Comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange, and who make the same pledge on their own blogs . I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it in the the next three months, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward. So, like Beagle, the first 3 will get something from me...not sure yet what that something will be but I promise you I will put some thought into each persons gift. (Obviously I will need your "real" address but I promise to keep it private~don't put it in the comment section, I will give you my email address and you can email it to me.) Now on to the most important answer to many of your emailed questions....NO, we did not get the dog. When I called the dog warden and told him that we were very interested in Mary Lou (still a really stupid name-for a dog) his brusquely told me, "she is gone". My heart sank and I was scared to ask if she was gone because of euthanasia or adoption but he quickly told me that she was taken the very day her photo was posted. Apparently the website is only updated every couple of weeks--which I think is crazy if you are trying to find homes and you are a kill shelter there is a VERY SMALL window of time where you can actually see the animal and hopefully get there before the big needle! So, Mary Lou has a good home, Harley is still spoiled and a tad lonely so I am still looking. Here are my requirements...female (preferably but not mandatory), at least a year old, medium in size (no 8 pound yappers would fit with our family and we are waaaayyyy done with the 130 pound style) like 20-30 lbs or so, sweet, housebroken, minimal (known)health problems-obviously things happen as they age and we will do more than we should for them because they do become family members after all, and the dog must love attention and quiet times and have a great desire to be pampered and loved. Oh, it also has to love cats because they were here first and aren't going anywhere. So, if you have any suggestions, feel free. I have had a horrid week so far that I am too busy to post about right now but I will get it all out later today or maybe tomorrow. It is one of those bang your head against the wall weeks. YUK.

Please restrain me!

For some godforsaken reason today I was purusing the local animal shelter listings. I have toyed with the idea of getting harley a dog of his own but then I come to my senses the xanax wears off and realize I am nuts. Wellllll...today I was looking at the listings and came across this dog...she is 1 year old (same as harley) and was found as a stray in townX-same place harley was born....look at this photo of her on the website and tell me that she isn't his litter mate...

This is her pound photo>>>>

This photo is harley and his friend bo>>>>>>

I just about shit when I saw it. She even has the same funky hair style on her chest (though some people have said that about me;) Sooooo on Monday when the shelter opens the nut part of only-half-nuts will be calling the shelter in hopes that she hasn't been euthanized over the weekend. Something led me to that site this weekend and I am a believer in fate..if harley has a sister out there, then damn it we will make room for her in our family. I am out of my freaking mind!!!

This is a long one folks, grab the coffee and an extra donut

Thanksgiving. I will get to the snarky stuff first since that seems to be the highlight of most peoples day. We had to go to the SIL from hell house and I was in charge of making a couple of dishes (they were requested because she won't eat them, therefore she won't make them, but everyone else wants them so it is up to me. They turned out superbly once again. ) It was a very odd mix of people this year because other SIL and BIL were out of town, of the 5 big cousins only 1 was there and I discovered she is becoming an exact replica of her horrid mother. She is 26, has her masters degree and is pursuing her medical degree and is the most whiny, surly snot I have been around in quite some time. When S3 was kindly asking me some questions about her when we got home, he asked why she seemed so "rude". Good pickup on the vibe kid but the only way I could explain it to him was the theory about the kinds of people whose glass is 1/2 empty vs 1/2 full and I told him her glass was 1/2 empty AND it had a booger in the bottom. He understood completely. My good SIL is usually handy to have around to break up the conversation from the bad SIL monopolizing the entire evening ranting on and on about how her glass is 1/2 empty with a booger to boot. It really doesn't matter what the subject is, she always manages to find the 5% negative in anything and make it a 95% negative. It is absolutely exhausting trying to keep up. By the time we leave there I am ready to drive into a pond and sink to the bottom. Honestly, I was in bed within 5 minutes of being home---we got home at 9. I couldn't even watch Gray's Anatomy-thank God for Tiv*. I even good naturedly told her they are doing wonderful things these days with pharmaceuticals (insert any number of antidepressants here) and she promptly told me they were all poison. She is very big into homeopathy which is great, I believe in holistic medicine any time it is an option but it is obviously not working very well for her. On a much brighter note earlier in the day we were all still scuzzy-not showered or even really out of our sweats, the doorbell rang. At first I thought who in the hell shows up unannounced on Thanksgiving morning?! I saw the car pull in and I went and hid in the bedroom making S2 answer the door. After hearing snippets of the conversation between him and the guy at the door I realized it was one of BigD's old buddies. He was cruising through our city to get to his turkey day destination and decided to pop over to say hi. It was the highlight of my entire month. No joke, it really was. This guy is amazing. He has written a few books, has a few CD's out and has spoken all over the country to many groups from Heads of State to 3rd graders. He labels himself as a story teller and that he is. Most of what he writes is written from personal events, having had a very interesting life. He does weave some fabric in some of them but it is effortless so unless you know him you aren't sure which are all fact and which have bits of creativity woven in. He signed a copy of one of his new books for us but he made me promise to read the very last story in the book as soon as he left. He said if I didn't cry, he would pray for me because it would mean that something in me was broken. I did read it, and I did cry. He has a wonderful way with words and most of his stories in his most recent book are set in poetry style. Before you go 'yuk poetry sucks', let me tell you even S2 (who is a waaayyy too cool 17 year old and S3 who is a 13 year old puke this week) loved the book. S2 even sat at the kitchen table READING TO ME which in my best recollection has never happened before. I told this gentleman all about ETSY because he doesn't want to do Amazon (he loses too much control as they get 70-80% of each book sale and since he writes from his heart and soul, he said it is too painful for him to see them take that much of him. If he decides to give ETSY a shot, I will definitely give you a shout out...they would be wonderful housewarming gifts or hostess gifts or any number of kinds of gifts. Right now he just sells them after his "talks" to whatever audience hires him. He is cheap too...he only gets $500 for his time (some corporate folks pay thousands for speakers) because he really loves what he does. He is amazing. I couldn't help think that if I were to give one of his books to the SIL from hell, she would undoubtedly find something wrong with it.....I think I may give her one for Christmas and see what happens....stay tuned :)

Typical of me

If you knew me in real life you wouldn't be surprised that I bailed on blogging daily. I am the woman that has a huge basket of yarn that needs to be knitted, an abundance of beautiful fabric that is dying to be cross-stitched and a virtual library of books that I will get around to reading. I am a major procrastinator and I get nutsy if I start something and don't have time to finish it..which almost always happens. I am also a planner. I can plan on cleaning the bathroom, bedroom etc and even make a list of what needs to be done but yet I find myself making more lists than actually accomplishing the tasks. I am not lazy, I just am not focused unless it is a task that is making me cash...you know, like working. Last night I had a phone call from a neighbor that I haven't really talked to in about 3 years. There was no falling out or anything, we just hardly ever see each other except for the occasional wave from the mailboxes or bump into each other in the checkout line at the grocery store. She called out of the blue and left a message saying she had to ask me something. I assumed she was looking for someone to watch a dog, or something of that nature (since S2 and S3 both perform tasks for neighbors with the expectation of filling the little piggy banks if lucky). So when I called her back imagine my surprise when she invited me to lunch with 3 other ladies. I was so excited. I felt like I got picked to go with the cool girls to THE party that everyone wants an invitation to. Two of the ladies are new neighbors and the other one has lived here for about 2 years and we get along famously so I thought this would be fun....and it was. I laughed, talked, ate great lasagna and seriously didn't want to go home. The only thing that was a bit weird is that we are at completely different stages in our lives. I sat there wondering if it would be rude to ask them how old they were (the two newbie neighbors) because I am guessing I am probably closer to their mothers ages. They were chatting away about nap times etc and I have been thinking about how we are going to pay for S1's tuition next semester. The one thing that is universal though was our discussion about husbands..it made for quite a bit of laughter. When we were leaving they asked for my email address so I guess they didn't hate me...and...they invited me to the next lunch next month--yippee, I may be getting a life~

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was S1's birthday. Outwardly we celebrate it like any other birthday -the birthday person gets to pick dinner, either made by me or in a restaurant (yes, when they were young there were occasions we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a side of potato chips-yum)But, S1's birthday brings with it a little extra. There is a presence that is very prominent in my thoughts each November 10th. His birth mother. I truly have no idea how she must feel each November 10th. Last year, I found her. The adoption was a closed adoption so the chances of us ever making contact were very slim. (I posted about it with a posted entitled "Google rocked my world" if you care to read the whole story). Last night when we got home from our steak dinner (S1 had better land a terrific job someday, this kid has very expensive tastes!) I hopped online with my alter-ego screen name and sent her a brief note thanking her for her completely selfless decision 19 years ago. I think I am more stunned now than I even was then that she was able to hand this wonderful baby over to a couple not knowing us, not knowing if we were going to be good parents. I had to be tremendously difficult. We have exchanged a few emails in the past year, not much but enough that she feels she made the right decision even after all these years. She respects the fact that S1, at this time, had no desire to connect with her. Instead of being hurt, she thinks it is wonderful that he is so comfortable that he isn't longing to meet her. She has gone on to marry and have 4 children..sounds very happy and is someone that I can't even begin to thank. I think I love this woman.

SPANK ME

I know, I know, I missed day #5 of a month of postings. I could tell you that it was because I was finding a cure for world hunger, or climbing a mountain but really I was just arguing with an obnoxious 17 year old MALE. I put that in upper case because I believe it is pertinent to this post.

Here is the scenario.....I was sitting at my computer perusing all your wonderful blogs when S2 walks in with an attitude. I could smell it. He plops himself down on the couch in my office and begins a tirade of "why do you and dad--blah, blah, blah...". I sat there listening politely. Not once interrupting. He ranted on and on about how we have "no good reason" to deny him being with his friends on a nightly basis....now, mind you till this point I HAD NOT EVEN SAID ONE WORD. He continued with the old standby.."none of my friends parents have a problem with them being out every night" (then your friends parents suck--not said, but thought). When he finally took a breath I asked if I could say something at this point. I then calmly (and without a smirk I might add) mentioned that all his friends probably had grades that warranted them a few more privileges, they maybe kept their rooms a bit cleaner, helped around the house a bit more and were basically not obnoxious shits--ok, I didn't really say that part out loud but I was close.

Anyway....this tirade lasted for so long that my eyes were crossed by the end. I know that much if it was hormone fueled and peer pressured but as I sat there it occurred to me that in 5 months, by all legal standards he will be considered an adult. Folks, I hate to tell ya but 18 is no where near an adult.

This morning he was back to his sweet loving self and I slept peacefully with the help of a lovely little pill that I am going to keep on hand at all times from now on. In fact, I may take them several times a day in large doses since S3 is only 13 and I have years of this shit ahead.

OH--and for all of you that were wondering what I did about the lamp shade....I called the Wally-Mart and talked to the manager on duty, offered my credit card number so they could charge me and as I suspected he would say, he told me to forget it, that it was his cashiers error and thanked me for being honest~ but truthfully I think he sounded stunned that I had even bothered to call. So my conscience is clear and I have a cute little lamp...all is right with the world.