This post has nothing to do with sex, though I did say "come again??" once our conversation started.
But, I need to back up and start about 3 hours earlier.
It all started because S3 grew. He is 1/8 inch from being 6 feet tall and is still sleeping on the twin bed that he got from his brother, when his brother grew to a bigger bed.
I was talking to my sister-in-law (the nice one, not the bitch), and told her that S3 didn't fit in his bed anymore and was waking up in the morning with achy legs and back because he couldn't even put his feet over the bottom of the bed because of the foot board on his hand-me-down bed.
She offered a double sized bed that our dear old auntie bought about a year before she died. She told me that since it was only a year old, it still had plenty of life in it and I ran it past S3 and he said sure.
Yesterday we took a sledgehammer to the old bed. Believe me, nobody would have wanted it. It had been a bunk bed, and the top bunk disappeared to the magic wood pile years ago, so this was literally 1/2 of a bed. It was very well used by 3 boys growing up, so it was time to say goodbye.
S3 had a blast smashing it to bits for our fire-pit.....now we just had to wait for the new bed to show up.
It arrived a couple of hours later and when we unwrapped it we just stood there and stared. It had a big 'ol stain. I am talking HUGE. Like bladder the size of a football huge...stain of old lady pee.
My SIL forgot that it was there and felt awful but by then, the old twin mattress he had been sleeping on had been hauled off to the dump, about 1/2 hour earlier. Timing. It really is everything ya know?
So, when the helpers left it was just S3 and I here. When I told him I would cover the mattress in an impenetrable plastic cover then a mattress pad, then the bed linens. He just looked at me and quietly said "Mom, I won't sleep on it..it's disgusting". It wasn't so much what he said, as how he said it. Sad. So sad. He is an amazing kid, great student, has huge dreams of saving the world, and he just didn't want to sleep on a bed that was stained by old lady pee. He doesn't know that she DIED in that bed last summer. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT EITHER or I never would have agreed to take it. (I found out when my SIL called late last night to ask if S3 liked the bed--I tactfully avoided telling her that he refused to even go near it).
So, he and I talked and as my heart was breaking for him I made a decision.
I had been saving to get myself an fancy ass camera. I had the cash. I took the boy to the store last night and bought him a new mattress. One of his very own. Not one that has been handed down by his brothers. It dawned on me during our conversation that all of his clothes....all of his toys....all of his almost everything has been handed down. This kid has never complained once. NEVER.
On the way to the mattress store, over and over he said he would just sleep on the floor, that he didn't want me to spend my camera money etc etc. I told him that I was doing something that I wanted to do, not that I felt I had to do. This would make me happier than a camera, (okay, so truth be told, that is a teeny weensy lie, I would have more pleasure from a new camera..there I said it) and I could start saving again...I did it once, I could do it again.
Even walking into the store he was saying "mom, really, you don't have to do this, I can sleep anywhere, you know that". THEN he laid on the classic series.....and smiled. It will be delivered tomorrow and he and I are both excited.
So, when BigD got home from his meeting I told him what I had done. Can I tell you that even after 29 years this guy can still surprise me?? Not only was he NOT pissed (this kind of thing has a tendency to make him a bit cranky) he was glad. He too realized that S3 got the short stick often, mostly because he is too kind to speak up. **note to self.....remind S3 a couple times a week,what an amazing kid he is **
Then BigD said he had something he wanted to talk to me about. Uh-oh.
He told me, he thought it was time that we did a little updating at the old OHN homestead. We built the house 20 years ago and it is starting to look a little dated (OK, it actually started to look dated about 10 years ago, but with 3 kids, the only updating going on was the contents of the ever vanishing insides of the fridge).
He actually said lets do it.
I don't know who the person is that morphed into BigD's body, but this guy can stay. He is wayyy more mellow. :)
Can I tell you that I am so excited I don't even know where to start? I was up till 4 this morning redesigning my kitchen. In my head my countertops are all granite, my ugly light fixtures are replaced by my dream fixture, with my awesome cookware hanging off the sides, the cook top island is extended to where the table and chairs are now and the table and chairs are banished to the basement. At the end of the island is where we will eat our bread and water (all I will be able to afford once we start, as we are doing this on a cash basis...no debt, thank you very much) on lovely tall stools, and the sliding glass door to the deck that is now "locked" with a wooden dowel, will be replaced by french doors, now that there won't be a table in the way any longer. Mind you, BigD is totally unaware of my slightly vigorous plan, but damn...somehow this is going to happen.
I love my walls so they are staying just the way they are. I had a decorator come in about 4 years ago and do a Tuscan brick and cracked wall theme and it is gorgeous so no changes needed there. (Yes, I will take photos as this idea progresses).
For those of you that just read about my bathroom remodel....the part where I said I would NEVER do this again...well, much like childbirth, some memories fade, and we then repeat the offending act. I guess that is what makes the world spin on its axis.