Happy New Year OHN, and oh yeah, it's cancer.

Okay, so she wasn't quite that blunt, but it was still a shockerooo.

A few weeks ago, I went to have three "things" removed. The dermatologist felt that they were probably all nothing.

Surprise!

One of them came back as squam0us cell carcin0ma.

The really yucky, sucky bad part is, the location of the cancer.

Good gawd it is in the part of the body where the inner thigh connects to the heybaby. Yep. Bad enough to have one doc messing around down there, now I get another one who specializes in this type of thing.

I wouldn't have known it was there if it weren't for BigD. He was poking around down there.....looking to see if there was anything worth taking a little blue pill for.....and asked when I grew another eye, and that it was kinda creepin him out.

Just in case any of you think I am a floozie (is that a real word?), it is nothing transmitted via sex cooties.

So I went to the dermatologist, hoisted up the bloomers, spread like peanut butter, and she had a gander at the goods. This was the second dermatologist I went to see. The first took a look and said it was "nothing" and she wouldn't even remove it.

I am glad that I didn't listen to her, or I might be sitting here typing my obit rather than a post telling you ALL to check your WHOLE body (grab a mirror and spread 'em) for anything that you weren't born with (or were born with that looks different than it did a few weeks ago).

I always thought that skin cancer only happened when you were a sun goddess. Well, actually that does make sense as I AM a goddess. I have blue eyes, freckles, and used to have red hair, so I have sizzled with the best of them. BUT, this Squ. cell is not where the sun reaches. I can pretty much guarantee you that I have rarely, if ever, sunbathed bottomless with my legs in stirrups. (for you men that read this, I am not talking about a saddle).

On top of that, I am wearing a heart monitor for the next month because of the ER trip I posted about a week or so ago. Fun times folks. Fun times.

I feel like I am falling apart. Physically. ......... Mentally, that happened years ago.

I spent this morning with S3 while he had an MR.I on his shoulder that he trashed while "training" with a "coach" (really just a dad with delusions of higher things) for pre-pre season training for lacr0sse. We have our fingers crossed that it is a non-surgical injury and the MR.I will tell us that. As for this dad's training sessions....well, S3 won't be going back. Had I realized that this wasn't a school sanctioned training (he presented it as such) S3 wouldn't have been allowed to go to begin with.

In two weeks, I am taking S1 to the Clevel@and Clinic to see not one, not two, but three specialists. He is having two weeks of testing in one day. It's gonna be a long one! I pulled the mom card on this one. He was balking about going for all these tests, and I told him it was ALL I wanted for Christm@s. Peace of mind. I told him, the only thing it would cost him is having to spend a day with me and eat crappy hospital cafeteria food between appointments. Unbelievably, he agreed. We are very concerned about a genetic disorder, that I will detail further here, once the tests are done. The only thing that is bothering him....he knows they are going to ask about genetics (one of the specialists is a geneticist) and family. We have nothing. No info except his birth-father did have some relatives drop dead young. S1 HATES to have people make inquiries about his parentage because he is an analytical kid and not knowing background, doesn't fit into one of his neat little boxes.

I swear....it sounds like we are a bunch of sick, poorly constructed humans, and we really aren't. It just all seems to be happening at once.

So 2009...you kinda suck.

2010....don't you dare start with me, or you will be in serious trouble mister.

Timing and over-the-head thought bubbles

Remember last post I told you that I wanted a puppy or camera for Christmas?

This afternoon we went to an open house for a friend that is retiring(very young) ...and who also got a puppy for Christmas ....(the lucky bastard) and when I asked him what he was going to do beside, cook, clean house and do all the laundry from now on, while his wife is at work, he told me he was going to get back in to photography.

It was just this guy, BigD and me standing there at that moment. I asked him what kind of camera he has, and we started talking about cameras, lenses etc. BigD stood there and looked at me like he had never heard before, that I want a camera. Honest to God. He just looked at me like it was all new information.

I told the friend that I am close to getting one, had been looking for deals, talking to pro's (hi Tina) and doing quality and price shopping.

So, now, when I go get my sweet ass a camera, BigD will undoubtedly say he knew all along that I wanted one. He does that. I can say something, and weeks later he "thinks" of the idea and is certain that it originated in his brain, when in fact, it was my seed that was planted.

I am fairly certain this is a male genetic trait. Many of my friends have complained about the same thing. We women make decisions, then suddenly it is a new idea in our mates brains.

Anyway, I just thought it was funny that I got to show my excitement about something that I have been wanting forever, while the man that supposedly knows me so well, stood there and was surprised.

*Can someone please explain to me why men and women are allowed to be married, when we clearly are so different? This whole g.ay marriage thing makes much more sense to me. People of common thoughts spending time together....how novel is that?

*No, I am not even remotely g.ay and am not championing a cause, just thinking out loud, though I do wonder why people are so afraid of two people loving each other...no matter who they love.

No puppy and I am an ungrateful bitch

It wasn't even on BigD's radar. Christmas morning I asked him when the puppy would be delivered and he gave me that blank stare that I have known and loved forever.

It never crossed his mind.

Even with the hint/suggestion that was given to him. (I think "God, I would love one of those puppies!!!" is a fairly significant hint) .

He said "really? you thought I might get you one of the puppies?"

What he got me........

v v v v v

A GPS.

Yep. Can't tell you the last time I left my town for anything. The town I have lived in for 30 years.

He was so excited to give it to me. I seriously had to concentrate to not have the "why in the hell would you get me a GPS?" look on my face. I was able to pull it off.

He has no idea I am here being an ungrateful bitch complaining about a gift. I mean, how horrid am I?????

He was beaming, thinking it was the best gift ever.

For those of you that are thinking 'he probably wanted one for himself'.....he has one.

The only time I have left my town in the last year, we were together so we used his.

Now we have 2.

For a couple that 99% of the time is together when go anywhere in a 30 mile radius of our home.

I wanted a puppy or a camera.

Think he would notice if I traded the GPS for a camera, and stuck it to the windshield whenever I went anywhere?

See...I told you I was an ungrateful bitch. BUT, he doesn't know it, because I wouldn't have the heart to burst his perfect gift bubble.

On the flip side....S3 told me this was his "favorite Christmas ever". S1 and S2 were equally thrilled. (If you remember, we gave them tickets to the C.leveland C.avaliers--fairly good seats and they each got 2 tickets so they can take a friend). I filled in with some necessities, undies, sox, a couple bathrobes (sorely needed!) and all were happy campers.

BigD got stuff for his man-cave, so all he needs now is something to prop his feet on and I will probably never see him again.

That's ok, if I ever need to go anywhere alone, I will have my own GPS to get me there, and his will be sitting in his car in case he ever leaves the man-cave.

Happy New Year from the ungrateful bitch.

Jail is too good for this guy

I bet the parents of his victims would like 10 minutes alone in a room with him. I know I would. He is the worst of the scum. Adults who prey on children are reprehensible and no punishment is good enough in my opinion. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34570779/ns/us_news-crime_and_courts/

Because you all want to know more about me....right?

Eggnog or hot chocolate? Both, but not at the same time.

Does Santa wrap the presents or leave them open under the tree? He wraps everything. When I was a child he always left some open things under the tree, but BigD said that was stupid so we never did it. (do you think I am still resentful ? ;)

Colored lights on a tree or white? Colored, BUT in past years I have put white lites on the inside of the tree, forgot to do it this year.

Do you hang mistletoe? Yep. It hangs in my office doorway.

When do you put your decorations up? I start the day after Thanksgiving and finish when I can't stand seeing the boxes sitting around and put them away...finished or not.

What is your favorite holiday dish? Cookies. They are considered a dish aren't they, I mean I do use a plate.

Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? Nope. Another thing BigD ixnayed when we got married. As a kid, I always opened the smallest gift. (yep, still resentful I didn't have the backbone to tell him we WERE going to continue the tradition).

How do you decorate your Christmas tree? It is loaded with all the ornaments the boys made when they were little and I wouldn't have it any other way. (though a fancy tree with gold and shimmers would be nice in another room :)

Snow: love it or hate it? Love it until February then I start craving 70 degree days.

Can you ice skate? YES! I actually was a competitive skater when I was young. (Didn't know that did you ?? :)

What is your favorite holiday dessert? Cookies. Specifically my mom's recipe, which happens to be the cookie that my boys compare all cookies too, and they think mine are best. So there.

What is your favorite holiday tradition? Not letting the boys come downstairs on Christmas morning until everyone is up. (they still abide by this, much to my shock).

Candy canes: yum or yuck? Yuck.

Favorite Christmas show? Because of the memories, it would have to be one of the early animated shows...Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, Rudolph, etc. I love the jerky movements of the original claymation figures.

Feel free to play along.....I stole this meme from Devan at http://all-d.blogspot.com/2009/12/christmas-meme.html

Want to get seen IMMEDIATELY in an ER?

When you go up to the triage window, just casually mention that you are having an arrhythmia.

I was having an arrhythmia last night that didn't go away (I have had it before but after a bit it disappears and I go back to whatever offending behavior caused it:) so I had to head to the ER.

I know just enough to be dangerous, so I knew that it could either be completely benign or something that could cause me to drop on the spot. There is no way to tell just by "feeling", because you can't "feel" which heart chamber is goofy. Atrium...not too bad, ventricle....pretty darn bad.

I am fine. It turned out that for some reason my potassium was quite low (eat your bananas people) and it caused the electrical disruption. Unfortunately, the ER doc, who is yet ANOTHER friend (I know more medical people than one human should be allowed to associate with) insisted that I follow up with a cardiologist this coming week.

It's only Christmas week and I have to finish shopping, start and finish baking, wrap, and oh, yeah..work too. Not a problem doc...I can slip on that monitor and run like the wind.

So folks, if you have a hangnail and head to the ER, just casually mention the word arrhythmia and you will be in a bed faster than you can say cardiac arrest.

(Big D told me that the person they shuttled to the waiting area to triage me, was PISSED and bitched about having to wait the couple minutes it took to process my immediate need......the kicker, she was there for a pain in her foot that she has had for the last 3 weeks, that she was very loud and vocal about (no privacy laws broken here folks)......health care in reform phfft. )

Oh, and as promised the story of S2's crazy stalkers is in the works....just been a little busy.

SCG=spoiled crazy girl

I wanted you to see a photo of S2 for a few reasons.

1) I wanted you to see that he wasn't some creepy, weird, kid that would warrant all the crazy stalkers that he attracts.

2) I think he is really cute :)

3) He has been told for years that he needs to get into modeling,but nobody seems to know how to tell him to get started. If any of you have any connections, he could use the work to pay for school, and I would thank you by, at the very least, washing your car.

This will be a long one, you may want to get comfortable, go ahead, I'll wait.

This poor guy is one of the most kind hearted people I know, but for some reason, he seems to attract psychotic females. He is the kind of person that likes to take care of other people. Last year, a cute, and I thought sweet girl (I only met her once when they had been dating for a couple weeks....I should have known, when in front of me, she was all over him, that this was a clue of what was to come.

Alas, she was a partier. A HARD partier and S2 doesn't drink, he works out 6 days a week etc, and he got tired really quick of having to babysit her while she got wasted. The final straw was when he went over to take her home from a party and she was laying in bed with some random guy. Not cool. After he told her that he really didn't want that kind of relationship, she started calling, texting at all hours, and for two months would not leave him alone. She even started showing up in his lecture halls (she wasn't taking the classes) and every time he went anywhere, the store, the rec center, she would show up. It got to the point where he had to tell her that it just wasn't going to work. Period. She didn't take it well, but fortunately soon after, found another guy to latch onto.

Fast forward to this year.

S2 was working out at the gym. As I said, he works out most days so being at the gym is like a second home to him.

One day, he noticed a beautiful girl across the way. He was too shy to say anything to her, but she smiled and he smiled back. About 20 minutes later, he went up to the second floor to use a certain machine, and lo and behold this beautiful girl, lets call her SCG for spoiled crazy girl, walks up to him and says, "is that machine hard to use?". He was a little psyched, because as I said, she is beautiful.

You would think he would have learned his lesson last year.

So, they talked for about 45 minutes, exchanged phone numbers and S2 decided she probably wouldn't go out with him (did I mention that he has no idea that he is good looking, sweet, hysterically funny etc....he is clueless.), and didn't call her.

He didn't know then that it wouldn't matter.

She called him right away and they began seeing each other.

At first, he was pretty flattered that all of his friends thought she was "hot", but slowly, he started seeing things and hearing things that just didn't add up.

He called home and ran a few things by me, and I had to shut my mouth. I could tell by the things he was saying that she was going to be extremely high maintenance but it wasn't my place to point that out. He needed to figure it out for himself.

Here are a few examples: She repeatedly told him that her daddy was very wealthy, and would buy her whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted it. She spoke of $300 jeans, $400 boots, designer bags, first class flights to Chi.cago to shop after a difficult test that week in school, and the list goes on and on and on and on.......

He told her that if that is the type of guy she was looking for, she was barking up the wrong tree. He plans to become a child psy.chologist and probably wouldn't be making a six figure income.

At one point, they were at a store where there was an electronic device that S2 was admiring and she told him she might have her daddy buy it for her. To the tune of $2000. For no reason. Just because she wanted it.

So, S2 was becoming a little less enchanted with her. Looks are nice but he needs substance and fun behind the beauty and she was sorely lacking.

Then the lies started. She lied about things that were very easily checked, if not common knowledge.

She repeatedly tried to impress him about the area her family home is, (actually only about 10 minutes from where we live and we know the area very well), and when S2 Bin.g mapped her home, he realized our home was about twice the size of hers, but he didn't tell her, he didn't want to embarrass her.

So as the disillusion started to become more apparent, he suggested to her that maybe they weren't a good fit. He was trying to be kind and let her down easily.

Then the proverbial shit hit the fan. She would show up at his apartment in the middle of the night, (he found out later she was not only drinking those nights but blowing cok.e like it was her job), she would beg for rides here and there, she tried to hit on one of his room-mates to make him jealous...by this time, all the guys in the place were getting REALLY tired of her crap.

She would come over and walk right upstairs to S2's room to see if he was there (hello?? lock the door boys!) and would leave him "presents" on his bed. Things got weirder and weirder. One night S2 was asleep and woke up and she was sitting on his bed. (This completely freaked me out. It reminded me too much of G.lenn C.lose and boiling bunnies). She wanted to talk him into "trying again". He told her no and asked her to leave. She sat for another hour. He was afraid to get up and guide her to the door, not knowing what she would do.

He had found out that this is her second college. She left her first after claiming to have been assaulted, had a young man arrested, then the charges were dropped because she had lied.

So, S2 decided to write her a letter, that explained in direct terms, WHY they would never work out. He sited the lies and fabrications of her stories, the ridiculous incessant talk about how rich her daddy is, the delusions about how 3-4 times a day she is "hit on" by other guys...blah blah...it was officially over in his eyes.

He was home at the time and read the letter to me, to get my opinion, and I gave my thumbs up. There was nothing mean spirited, it stated only facts, and pointed out to her that she may want to rethink her ideals in life, in hopes to find a suitable mate, and she may want to kick her cok.e habit.

Within minutes, we're talking 2-3 minutes, his cell rang. IT WAS HER MOTHER.

This very classy, incredibly wealthy (according to SCG) woman. This very classy wealthy woman then stated.......to a stunned 19 year old guy....

*

*

*

"YOU ARE A COMPLETE FUCKTARD"

S2 was completely stunned and had no response. He figured by the number that came up on the screen it was her mother, not her, as it was a home number with the first 3 digits in her location, and all he could come up with was "excuse me?"

She then went on to say that the letter would be going to the ^&** police department, the ^&** police department (our town and her town-neighboring) and the dean of stu.dents. Then she hung up.

At NO time in the letter was there anything remotely harassing, threatening or anything other than direct talk and reasons why they weren't a good match.

To say I was infuriated would be putting it mildly. Obviously the girl got her crazies from her mother. I cannot even imagine calling a guy (that she had told her daughter was the "perfect" guy) and saying those things. BigD got a chuckle out of it and agreed there was nothing in the letter that any department would even look at twice. In fact, he said he would bet that mom wouldn't pass on the letter if for no other reason that the mention of the fact that her beautiful perfect daughter is a cok.e head.

My worry, is that if this girl cried assault once, she could do it again. But, according to S2 and BigD, there are too many people that are on to her ways that she couldn't get away with it again.

S2 is on winter break now until mid January and won't have to run into this crazy girl thankfully. He is a tad worried about seeing her on campus though. Hopefully by that time, she will have dug her talons into some other guy, hopefully one as rich as her daddy, and she will leave S2 alone. I told him if she contacts him again, I would seriously consider getting a restrai.ning order against her and for gawd sake, lock the damn door at the apartment!

Thank you all

for your kind comments and emails. Cosmo did wake up the next morning, after sleeping between BigD and I all night, with us keeping a hand on him to make sure we would know if he started seizing.

We dodged the HUGE bullet of sudden death, now we have to just follow up on his liver, through blood work, to make sure there isn't permanent damage.

S3, is so relieved that I can't even express it in words. He adores Cosmo and the thought that he would have something to do with hurting him, was more than he could bear.

He is 15, and is somewhat typical of a 15 year old boy....farts are funny, LOUD farts are hysterical, girls are now hot and not gross, he eats from the time he gets home from school until he passes out, after hours on f@cebook and texting (after homework of course, yeah, right) but unlike most 15 year olds, he actually LIKES hanging out at home and most of the time I hear about weekend parties from other parents. Don't get me wrong S3 is very popular, he is just very selective about who he spends time with. A few of the guys on his teams have gotten into trouble (caught drinking, smoking weed, TP'ing houses...things that I think are pretty common in that age group) and he doesn't want any part of it.

He has a goal. His strongest desire is to attend the US Na.val A.cademy. Now, between you and me...he doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell of getting in. His grades are good, not outstanding. He is kind and caring, but his actual volunteerism is scant. He is athletic, but not the star of the team. You get the idea.

I think it is wonderful that he has the dream, and I would NEVER let him know that it probably isn't within his reach, because it is keeping him focused. Trust me, when the times comes for college, he will be just as happy at normal university and he will have avoided a rocky high-school experience. I am ALL for that!P> He also watches his brothers. Every time they talk about someone that is in trouble for something stupid, S3 is listening and absorbing. Now, S1 and S2 are not angels. They have luckily avoided serious problems, but have done their share of partying, and rowdy behaviors....and continue to do so...but they keep it from S3. Having been his age not too long ago, they know the temptations and peer pressure he is under and are outstanding at lying directing him away from some of the temptations and telling him to be true to himself and not cave to peer pressure.

All of the boys are completely different. If I had to put one or two words together to describe each one, it would be tough, but would probably look something like this..

S1---BRILLIANT and focused (as I have said before...he is freakishly smart, and literally has a photographic memory)

S2---FUNNY (he needs to be on a stage somewhere..he would be rich) and laid back.

S3---KIND and sometimes maybe a little quiet.

So, again, thanks for all of your notes about Cosmo. I am glad that all of you said you would make sure your other friends were aware. The only way people will know about this is if they are told. It is such a new finding that there are vets that aren't very informed.

Oh, and wait till you read my next post. It has to do with S2 and the psychotic girls he attracts. You won't believe it!

IF YOU HAVE A DOG

Don't let anyone in your house with a pack of gum.

No joke.

We just had to call the emergency vet because Cosmo, my sweet Cosmo, the rescue that will eat ANYTHING because he was rarely fed before we got him.....at 1/2 pack, about 7 pieces of Orbit gum that has the ingredient xylitol.

Thankfully I came into the room as he was finishing the last of the package and was able to call the vet right away.

I had to give him a tablespoon of hydrogen peroxide to make him vomit and pray that the gum was in the vomit...meaning that it hadn't digested enough to kill him.

S3 was sobbing. It was his gum that Cosmo got into while S3 was napping. He had left the package on the coffee table (we had the xylitol talk before but until tonight, he didn't understand the severity of it).

I guarantee you S3 will never leave gum laying around again.

The emergency vet said we need to watch for sleepiness (yeah, right..this dog has two speeds, very slow and stop, so sleepiness will be hard to determine). But, at this point there is really nothing we can do other than hope he is still ok by morning.

The thought of losing this little guy is more than I can stand. He is the 8th dog I have had in my lifetime and is absolutely the best dog I have ever had.

I know to those of you that aren't animal people, this may sound silly, but he is not "just a dog", he is family. If you don't get it, you don't get it, but trust me, people like me love our pets more than some of our relatives. Sad but true.

Please tell your family and friends about the toxins in plain old ordinary gum (almost all gums now contain the xylitol, which is the dangerous component).

Public service announcement over.

Thinking of remodeling?

Go get drunk instead.

Seriously. Even if you are a nondrinker, it is a better option than having any part of your house ripped apart.

Those of you that know me on Fbook know that I have been bitching about criminal painter for the last week.

I had him come in to do a small patch and paint job, and it has snowballed into a full blown redo of my master bath involving tearing out a wall, 1/2 of the ceiling, removing a built in 8 foot tall cabinet, etc etc.

You wanna guess how many times I have gone to shower in the other shower and forgotten something?? Like a towel. Routine is my friend. I like consistency. Not knowing where the qtips are...makes me nuts.

I would not have chosen this particular man to do this project but I really didn't have a choice. He did the wall/ceiling patching (from what we thought was an OLD leak, from a freak sideways rainstorm long ago) and when he came in the following day to paint.....THE AREA WAS WET AGAIN.

I know, I know, it is a good thing that it was found, but I had already paid him 1/2 for the repair when we discovered that in fact there was a roof issue, and that was considered a separate repair..no, he seems to have forgotten the payment for 1/2 doing it the first time. I wouldn't mind if it had be been done, he left, and rehired, but since he was here already and had only completed part of the first repair, I am a little ticked that he started the clock at the beginning again so to speak.

I contacted the insurance agency, you know the people that suck money out of my wallet for homeowners, car, life insurance, yet getting a check for repairs is nearly impossible.

I have had to have 3 separate discussions with the adjuster that came out to assess the damage. Finally after the third conversation, she upped my payout by 40 bucks. Yeah. Woohoo.

Anyway, criminal painter was here when she came and he started getting involved in MY conversation with her. I think because of his big mouth, trying to impress her that he could do all this work for very little money, she came in ridiculously low on the payout. We are talking about ripping out walls and ceilings people....this isn't cheap. In the meantime, he keeps hitting me up for a "little more" money, while telling me how much money he is "saving me".

I told him today, the well was dry, and when the project was completed he would see another check.

OHN may be nuts, but she sure isn't stupid. I called the adjuster and asked her to please not take his calls....oh, yes, he had been calling her asking what they were going to "give me" and, as he said "keeping her up to speed" HELLO? She had already closed the claim and doesn't need a blow by blow of how amazing he is. So, I called her and asked her to leave him out of MY business. Like I said, I would not have chosen him, but since he was here working and had, the day before, patched etc, it was basically already in progress so I had to give him the work.

He made sure that there was no bidding. He sealed the deal with the adjuster outside in the driveway. I wondered why he walked out with her.

I could see the twinkle in his bloodshot, hungover eyes, and he was smelling Christmas money.

We are in the downhill slide of the "project", he should be done by Thursday. If not, I may have to kill him. Please start thinking about chipping in for my bail money.

Everything in the house is covered in plaster/drywall dust, he is very very messy. For the life of me, I can't figure out why he didn't at least cover the heat register on the floor before he started ripping out the wall.

Then there is the plaster crap on my cherry cabinets, the ceiling paint on everything below the ceiling, the paint smudges on my cherry/oak window trim, and on and on.

The thing that makes me crazy is that he keep closing the bedroom door and honestly I trust him as far as I can throw him. At about 285 lbs, most of it beer gut, that wouldn't be very far.

I keep going upstairs and opening the door, half expecting to see him dancing around the room with my underwear on his head.

I think I have hidden anything he might steal, but guys like him are sneaky and he could snag something and be long gone before we would notice..I am thinking ID theft, more than anything. BigD is very lazy about keeping important papers put away....they land on the nightstand, the dresser, wherever. It doesn't matter when it is just us here, but this could be a recipe for disaster.

To make things even worse, he talks about ALL the people in town that he has done work for....naming names and telling me things that are none of his business. I have lived here for 30 years and he has too, so we know many of the same people, I guarantee you, if these people knew what he was telling me, they would be mortified.

He has spent countless hours over the past 10 days telling me how broke he is, how he can't make his house payment, how his wife is getting screwed in her work hours (she is working 35 hours a week in retail) and that she made more on unemployment (they are trying to figure out a way she can get fired so she can go back on unemployment--lovely), how his daughter is married to an asshole, how his business has hit the shitter, (wonder why), and basically complaining about EVERYTHING.

When I tell him I have to get back to work, he follows me into my office. I have to get up and physically direct him back upstairs, where he promptly closes the door, and the whole cycle begins again.

If I survive the next few days, it will be nothing short of a miracle.

Yes, I know this is rambling. That's what you get from a distraught woman with plaster dust in her lungs and sinus rot from paint fumes.

I don't have a title

I really don't.

I just have a jumble of thoughts blowing between my ears.

21 years ago this morning, a social worker placed my new son in my arms for the first time. I was terrified, thrilled, excited, nauseated, did I say terrified?

He had been in foster care for the 3 weeks since his birth because they wanted his birth mother to be sure she was making a decision that wasn't rushed or hormonal.

As I was typing this last sentence, my cell rang and it was that baby....asking for money. Some things never change :)

I reminded him what day it was and he, with all the love he could muster, said, (and this is a quote) "Yeah, I don't really celebrate this day, it is a pretty dark day in my life"...for those of you (which is all of you) that don't know him....he WAS kidding. He has a very wry wit and loves to bust my balls (bust my boobs just doesn't have a good ring to it).

Also--yesterday, a friend that I have never met, but have gotten to be friends with through this whole passing internet phase (not sure it will catch on), is a new mom. She is bringing home her son today. She and her husband have been on that dreaded roller coaster ride of "will we be picked"...well, they were and now she gets to go home with a new baby, and basically be as terrified as I was that first, oh, 15 years. I would link to her blog, but it might be by invitation only.

Lets see..what else is new? I have 1/2 of my Christmas decorations up. If this year is like most other years, the other 1/2 of the decorations will sit in the boxes shoved off to a corner. I have some serious A.D.D. F.O.L. (attention deficit disorder for old ladies) and have a habit of making WONDERFUL looooonnnngggg lists of things that need to be done, then I misplace the lists. I take inventory around my house. Bathroom needs to be scrubbed...check. Check, as on the list, not completed. I am pretty sure this is an actual disorder but I can't find the list of doctors in my plan that take care of this problem.

OH...I almost forgot...criminal painter is back. He is fixing a wall in the master bath that had some water damage, painting then hanging the border that was wrecked. (Here is one area where my ADDFOL comes in handy....I still have a new roll of the border>>>>>>>that we originally hung 6 years ago. Score.

He is then moving into S2's room. Well, he isn't moving in as in LIVING here, just moving in as in painting. The room is empty so now is the time. It has the most horrid shade of red paint in there now and I am changing it to INA BLUE (yes Ina, I am naming a paint after you). Ina lives in Alaska (who knew that people really LIVED there???). She just did a redo of her bathroom and the color screamed at me. I would link to her blog but my linky thing still isnt working. I will try, but you may have to go to all the hard work of copy/pasting. http://ina-offret.blogspot.com/2009/11/toby-tuesday-let-it-snow.html When criminal painter is done, I will post photos. Now I need to find someone that is moving and selling a solid oak or mahogany bedroom set for about 200 bucks. Wish me luck.

***DAMN.....I just clicked on view blog after I hit publish, and my linky thing DID work...watch out world, OHN learned something new!

I know there is more crap I wanted to say, but I can't remember so I will probably come back later with some huge news that has temporarily leaked out of my ears.

Oh...I just remembered one thing. Do you F.acebook? I started, but I find that I am afraid to ask people to be my friend. What if they really don't want to? It would be like 9th grade all over again. So, how do you handle the friend request thing?