6 days of fun

Here is the view of my life since last Sunday. Sunday was the day I started the 'prep' for the test on Monday. It entailed eating no food but chugging 2 liters of nasty liquid concocted to make me eliminate anything that had passed through my lips for the previous week. n.a.s.t.y. two liters in 80 minutes. yuk. Ok, so that done, on Monday morning at 5:30 I had to down only a mere 10 ounces of lemony salt water that was supposed to assure that the previous days concoction had done its job. It had. My colon was clean enough to squeak. Then comes the test. I was given large doses of drugs that I woke up from twice. Long enough to look at the monitor and see mister reeealllly long camera tunneling through the regions of my intestines that I really never cared to see. Oh, and the times I woke up, I YELLED..OWOWOWOWOW and was given more drugs. Thank you mister ass doctor. (He really is a very nice man and told me later in his broken tongue--you neeted verdy much suddashun--yeah, lucky me. Apparently when S3 was csectioned out of me, mister baby doctor threw my bowels back in on a whim hoping they would land where they needed to be. Guess what? They didn't. mister ass doctor had to straighten out the kinks, though since they have been there for 14 freaking years, they will probably spring back that way before I know it. Then mister ass doctor said that he had to take biopsies from the REALLY HIGH UP small intestine to check for some sort of condition that he thinks I might have. More on that when the report comes back. So that was Monday...lets move on to Tuesday. I had to work because, no workee, no payee. My intestines felt like someone had rotorootered through them, oh yeah, someone had. But like a good little worker I worked. I was interrupted no less than 25 times by various males in this home asking what we had to eat (told them to look in the fridge, that the list I had written on my arm washed off in the shower), where are there any clean towels (look on the floor of whatever room you were in last when you used a towel), when will you be done working (the same time I have been done working every day, forever), can you make my airline, hotel and car reservations (make them yourself you 54 year old helpless person--well actually I said, I would when I got around to it, but I wanted to say the first part), do we have any _______[insert anything here cause we all know that I am the only one that knows where anything is], once again, look where it has been kept your entire life......anyway, you catch my drift. Lets jump to Wednesday. Remember that post where I told you that we are letting S1 use BigD's car because he is living in college town and working this summer?? Remember? This is the pristine jeep that is unbelievably 12 years old. It runs and looks brand new, well it did until S1 crashed it. Yeah, that was a fun call. The day before I had changed our insurance coverage to not carry any collision on that car, cuz, you know it is 12 and we would probably not even need collision. Not even kidding...the DAY BEFORE the crash this was accomplished. A $500 deductible sounds pretty good right now considering to fix the jeep will cost in the area of $5,000 that we don't have. fuck. The lady he hit thankfully was nice and didn't get out of her car limping or screaming about her back or neck. She just decided to get her car fixed and our insurance company ponied up almost 6 grand for her repairs. Can't wait to see how this changes our premiums. again,fuck. Now Thursday brings its own set of fun to the table. S1 called and was freaking out. It seems as though he had a little gathering at his little apartment Wednesday night and when everyone left, someone helped himself to S1's wallet. Gone. Poof. School ID, license, gas credit card, debit card, 40 bucks cash (his share of the electric bill for the month)and worst of all, the wallet itself. It was his very first wallet. He got it for Christmas when he was 13 and it had a crisp 20 dollar bill in it. Not only that, but when he got his license I had given him a coin with a guardian angel on it that he kept in the wallet. Honestly, I think we are both most upset about that. (though it didn't keep him from getting into an accident a couple of days earlier, but then again, he wasn't hurt so maybe it did work). He filed a police report and told them who he suspects took it and they told him, good luck proving it and that he will most likely never see it again. They probably snagged the 40 bucks and ditched the wallet in a dumpster somewhere. We have checked the gas account and debit card balance (reported the theft to both) and so far nobody has used it so it probably IS in a dumpster. Today, well today just sucked all around. I woke up 10 minutes before work (having overslept because I couldn't get back to sleep after the nightmare I had) and had to wake up and jump right in, which meant engaging my brain..fast. I had to make reservations for BigD to go to his yearly conference. Originally I was supposed to join him for a couple days to "reconnect" but now, with the car damage, and other financial crap, I won't be going. I was even supposed to meet the dear and wonderful Beagle there and now it is not going to happen. I really really need to get away and now am completely hateful of anyone that tells me how excited they are for their upcoming vacation. Yes, OHN can be a bitter bitch. So, BigD and I won't be reconnecting for awhile and really, I am not in the mood anyway. This afternoon, when he got home from work, he needed to eat, as he didn't get time for lunch today...he looked me square in the eye and asked "where is the toaster"? It took a minute for it to register that he was asking me where an appliance was that has been in the same place for the last 17 years. He is very very lucky I didn't throw it across the room, in his general direction. So how was your week?