My name is OHN

And I am an addict. To the internet. That I haven't had for two days. I was so completely out of whack I was practically dizzy. SERIOUSLY people, what is wrong with me? I kept coming back to my office to "try one more time" to get online, only to be greeted with nothing. No snappy "you've got mail" guy, no blog reading, no etsy, woot or ebay. I thought I was going to have to up my meds to get through the day. I am off to get a new router now. I hardwired MY computer to the modem today (duh, I should have tried that 2 days ago instead of resetting, unplugging, replugging, obsessively wire checking.....) but S3 and BigD are without access, hence needing to get the new router....any suggestions from you?

Can I tell you why

I love my kids? We had a bit of a financial blow this week and tonight I decided that our planned beach vacation, just could not happen. I called the people that own the condo, and hopefully they will refund our deposit. I am sick about it. You have no idea how badly I need a trip. If I am within any radius of my home and/or desk, I am working and I need a b.r.e.a.k. But back to why I love my kids. I told each one of them separately that the trip was off and each one of them blew my mind. They all told me that it was fine, they understood and we can still do fun things here locally. S2 told me about a park that he and his friends discovered last summer. He said it is beautiful, has a lake with a waterfall, and he would like to go there and rent the little water bikes they have. S3 said we could go on some of the bike trails in a nearby town (that is known for their bike trails along a winding river--though I don't own a bike so that part might be a little tricky) and S1 said, it was fine, he would just come home and let me cook for him and do his laundry (there is one in every family.) So, I am sitting here having a pity party for myself. I started a new medication this week that is causing me to have VIVID dreams/nightmares so I haven't slept, got nailed for a $737 car fix that wasn't on the radar and basically feel like shit. So dear bloggy people, send me funny links or tell me a raunchy joke...I need a laugh (and a vacation, though we covered that topic already.)

it's how we roll

I get up early, even on nonworking days. I am the only one in the family awake before noonish. It is now 10:15 and this is what I found when I was walking to the laundry room to wash a load of towels that this human has stockpiled on the bedroom floor. How could I get annoyed at someone that is obviously a sweetheart? Even on my grumpiest days, this sight makes me smile. (The fact that taking 5 photos with flash didn't cause either of them to stir, still amazes me.) Then there is this kid. When he put on this shirt yesterday I told him that his eyes were the same color and he didn't believe me. This kid never looks in a mirror....I had to take a picture to prove it. (I try to get him to wear blue whenever I can.) Please take a brief minute today to think about all of the fearless (and fearful, but still doing their jobs) men and women that would love to be sitting in their yard here at home eating potato salad today.

Warning, you may go blind...

Just a little something for your Sunday morning. (Yeah, I know I should be in church but, I think it counts that I thanked god that I don't know this man, right?)

Grocery dipshits.

I am sure you have them in your town. But then again, it is entirely possible they ALL live in mine! I will set the stage. It is a holiday weekend. It is the first “summer” holiday, where people plant flowers, see the neighbors that have hibernated all winter, and one where people cook out food. In order to cook that food on your grill, first you have to get it to your house. So, my first question is to my grocer…the one with the lovely store with 12 checkout lanes that only had 2 of them open..THE DAY BEFORE THE FIRST GRILLING HOLIDAY WEEKEND OF THE SUMMER. Are you kidding me? We were wrapped around those aisles like snakes with carts full of warming meats, with salmonella colonizing and laughing at me, and melting ice-cream that will be disgusting after it refreezes from a mush to a solid again, while your two worst cashiers are manning the only two checkouts open. Now, I don’t work in the food biz, but I think your employee that is in charge of staffing, needs a good swift kick in the ass for not realizing that you would need to have, say, half of your registers open, at minimum. The only upside of these snaking lines is that I had a chance to observe some of ~natures mistakes~ my fellow citizens. I am one of those people that can pretty much figure out someones story by watching them and listening to them for a short time. Take the man who was two carts in front of me. He was obviously putting on a show for all of us observe what a wonderful father and husband he is…after all, HE was shopping with his kids so that makes him wonderful, right? Not so much. Between his two brats boys screaming and climbing on top of the obnoxious carts that are made in the shapes of humvees, (when they are too old and too BIG to be using the kiddie carts anyway) he was pulling apart marshmallows for them to share. Really? They weren’t allowed to have one whole one at a time but 75 halves were okay? Did you even see where their sticky fingers were going or the fact that the kid that was on the floor was using his ½ marshmallow like a sticker to pick up all the crap on the floor BEFORE putting it IN HIS MOUTH. Yeah dude, you are father of the year and the fact that you were louder than your kids, was not a mark in the plus column. I bet because you went to the store for your wife, you think you are getting laid tonight. If she is smart, she is home packing while you are gone with the little snots. To the lady behind me, you came so close to having your eyelids stapled to your forehead. Were you worried that someone might try to sneak in front of you? Is that why you kept ramming your cart into me? Maybe you thought it would get you to the cashier quicker? Lady, trust me, nobody was going to jump in ahead of you, but by the third time I turned around and gently pushed your cart off my heels, I was trying to figure out how I could find out which car was yours and crazy glue your locks…..you know, because I was ahead of you in line and all….I would get to the parking lot before you. Oh, and please, the next time you are going to the store, take a shower some time that week. So I spent an hour on a 10 minute shopping trip, spent almost 100 bucks, came home and S3 and S2, whined that I didn’t buy anything “good”. Yeah, this weekend is gonna be a riot.

*Your opinion please*

I really need your opinions. As I mentioned a couple days ago S3 and I were out of town for a sporting tournament. Something happened that completely freaked out S3 and I am a little skeeved too. Let me set the background for you. The tournament had 80 teams coming from all over the state. It was held in a nice suburb of Columbus Ohio. About 6 guys from our team went to the mall to check out the girls that were in town for the volleyball tournament. S3 and I ran into them around 4:30 and I told him he could ditch his old mom and hang with the guys, we said bye and I told S3 that I would pick him up at 5:30 at the same entrance we had gone in. (Remember, he is 14 ½ , 5’8” tall and an athlete, so I did not dump my “little” boy off. ) The mall is literally across the street from the hotel. So, he and the other guys wandered the mall, stopped in Spen-cer gifts to look at the trashy stuff, that most 14 year old boys talk about but haven’t seen, ate in the food court, and drooled over the latest famous athlete shoes at the trendy footwear store. When I arrived at 5:30 to get him, he was waiting in the entry way (you know the kind where there is a double set of doors before actually entering the mall itself) and he came right out. He seemed a little quiet but since he had such a hectic week, I figured he was just tired. I was wrong. When we got back to the hotel, he relayed to me, with a quiver in his voice and an ashen look, that something “weird” happened. He then proceeded to tell me that while he was waiting in the entryway, a man, and woman, along with a lady about 20 or 30 (yeah, I guess 20 and 30 look the same when you are 14) came in, walked past him, then the man came back OUT through the inner doors and asked S3 “what team are you with”? S3, was not wearing anything that said he played on any team, wearing a plain t-shirt and shorts, but he quickly answered *our-town*, without thinking that it was a big deal, and ordinarily it wouldn’t be….but then the man lifted up his phone and snapped a photo of S3, and walked away, back into the mall. No words, no good wishes et cetera. Now my first reaction was that it was weird. I thought, maybe, the guy had a kid playing in the tournament and he was wondering if S3’s team would be playing them, as we had one game left, but still, WHY THE PHOTO? On a camera phone. ..with no explanation. :/ It wasn’t a secret that this town was where many of the teams were staying as there were 4 hotels within spitting range of each other, so he could have been a local and still knew about the tournament. I have had so many different things running through my head. S3, is completely freaked out now, worried that through the wonders of the internet that this guy will somehow be able to find him. He has deleted all his personal photos on his F@cebook, and we even G00gled his team photos to be sure that no names were written underneath identifying the kids. S3 then started wondering about if this guy could snag a yearbook from *our-town*, which isn’t very big, and be able to find him through an online search. I thought maybe the guy had seen all the boys doing something wrong and he was going to report them to a coach, but the guy was COMING INTO the mall after the boys were being picked up (at different locations per their mom’s convenience)..so that couldn’t be it. Plus S3 said all they did was walk around and eat, and did nothing that would make anyone even really notice them. I then thought that maybe S3 reminded him of someone and snapped a photo, but who in the hell, in their right mind would take a photo of someone (right up in their face) without permission or an explanation. Is the guy a perv? I only wish that S3 had told me about it when he got into the car, so I could have parked and gone in to find him, unfortunately the poor kid was so freaked out, he didn’t say anything till we were back at the hotel. I truly don’t know what to think and would welcome any ideas any of you have about why someone would do this. I don’t mind telling you that S3 isn’t the only one a little freaked out..you can count me in on that freak out too.

hey kids

Guess where I am? C'mon, guess. No, you silly, I am in a hotel. S3 is in the state championship tournament this weekend so he and I are having a mother son weekend in the state capitol, in a room with a 42 inch high-def plasma screen...with a bed all to myself..no husband or dogs pushing me to the side and I HAVE to stay here two nights. Isn't it so completely sad that I feel the need to post that I am actually away from my house for a couple days. Those of you that travel freqiuently probably think I am crazzeeee, but this is a much welcome break. What? You want to know what I am doing about work tomorrow? This should be fun, since I am a horrid liar (meaning I am not good at it, not that I do it all the time) and I am going to call in sick tomorrow. I know, I know, miss goodie two shoes is a rebel. Take that, mean supervisor. If I still have a job when I get back, I will do a little happy dance. What? You want to know why BigD isn't here? Cuz he is in yet another city doing work related drinking....umm, I mean entertaining, of fellow officers from around the globe. You see, this week is p0lice memorial week all over the country, honoring fallen offic3rs, and BigD is a big muckety muck and has to see to it that all the visitors are well fed, watered (ahem) and entertained. So while I am here, he is there, and all is good. Now, I am going to get ready to go out to eat, in a real restaurant, that does not have a window on the side where they pass you the food. Nope, this place will have real chairs and things on the menu that I don't make. Hot damn. I will try to snag some photos while we are here. OH..and I almost forgot....I am thinking of doing some video posting. I impulsively bought a webcam when it came up on EEbays deal of the day..hey it was 10 bucks with free shipping, who could pass that up?? I figure I will use it to $kype the boys at school and let you guys get a glimpse of me. That would make your day, wouldn't it?? I think I may need you to send in questions for me to answer though, so go ahead, shoot.

lovin life

I hope that when I get old, I have gotten this much joy out of life. The back story to this is what is really special. These folk are at the Mayo Clinic and the piano is in the lobby. They are either patients themselves or are visiting someone who is...and can still get it together....bravo.

Gloating-Sorry, I HAVE to.

I rarely am ever praised, ESPECIALLY by the boys. I know my kids love me, but they love me, like I loved my mom, when I was their age. They love me when they call and I can throw 50 bucks into their account so they can eat. They love me when they come home and plop 2 garbage bags of laundry in front of the washer, then go to sleep, and when they wake up it is washed, dried, folded and rebagged to transport back to get dirty again. They love me when they open the fridge door and there is sloppy joe in there and also buns in the house. Likes like the trifecta…or dufecta I guess. But this morning, I opened my e-mail and had the following letter from S2, and you know, it makes washing all those stinky socks worth it. Hello mother...I'm sorry I was a bad son on mothers day :( I know I should have gotten you a card or something, but you know I appreciate you regardless! :) Thank you for all the things you do every day to make my life easier, even when I don't ask you to. You do them without thinking, and that's why I can safely say you are the best mother in the world :) This technically should be in a card, given to you this morning with breakfast in bed, but in order to do that I would have to get up around 5am. With as busy as I have been, being up as late as I have, that was slightly out of the question. :) You work hard every day in everything you do, and whether I acknowledge it at the time or not, it doesn't go unnoticed. Thank you for everything all the time! If i said it every time you deserved a thanks, I would have to say it constantly. So you'll just have to take my word for it that I always appreciate you, verbalized or not. I love you mommy, don't forget it! :) I'll be home in a few days for THREE MONTHS! Lucky you :) -Love &*^%$ He doesn't realize it now, but that note is better than any bagel in bed.

my tunes

The older boys left to go back to school, S3 is doing homework, BigD is working a job tonight sooooooooo......I have had a little free time, and now, for your listening pleasure, to my sidebar, I have added a list of songs that moved me in some fashion waaaayyyyy back in the day when I was a young, impressionable, naive, skinny, freckle faced, shrinking violet. I clicked on SimaG's blog earlier today, and saw that she had used this playlist site to make a, well, play list, so, I have spent the last 2 hours listening to clips of songs that have taken me back to the 1970's. High school and college baby! Holy shit. I didn't realize I had that many memories. If you need to know what memory a songs brings to me, feel free to ask , though the answer may shock you. BWAHAHAHAH

Mixed emotions

I know it sounds weird but I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day. When I look back, I can only remember two Mother's Days when I was completely and utterly content. Before the first one, I was trying so desperately to become a mom that I loathed every mention of the day. It was like smacking my head against a brick wall over and over and over again. The advertising was relentless and it was torture. Sure, when I was a little kid M-Day was fine and I gave my mom her share of hand-print cards and ceramic ashtrays made in art class (yeah, EVERYONE smoked when I was a kid and ashtrays were a part of the decor of each room of the house) but once I got married M-Day took on a whole new flavor. I had wanted to be a mother since I was old enough to talk. I remember vividly as a kindergartner we had to go around the classroom and tell everyone what we wanted to do when we grew up. I couldn't believe that anyone wanted to "do" anything other than be a mom. Once my dream was realized and I had become a mom I had two M-Days to celebrate before I lost MY mom. I was devastated and from that point on, I was nobody's daughter. So while the flower shops are bustling and candy boxes are flying off the shelf, I am ambivalent about a day that is supposed to celebrate what I do the other 364 days of the year, without recognition. So after this maudlin post I will leave you with this video. You can replace these faces with the faces of my two oldest. I swear this is what it is like at home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhcA4Ry65FU

Follow-up to yesterdays rant

Ok folks..I swear I am not on an anti-Cath0lic rant this week, this stuff just keeps popping up in front of me. Apparently this priest is a celebrity of sorts, is published, has a radio show, has millions of followers, even some that call him a saint, etc. So I have two questions for you to think about. Firstly why do priests have to take a vow of celibacy? What archaic thinking is it that thinks the only way they can serve their faith is to NOT do what God supposedly put us here to do? He was with a woman. Isn't this was the church has been preaching (pun intended) all along? With all the pedophile scandals and closeted priests, I would think the church would be doing a little twirly dance that this one was with a woman...I think scandal is a ridiculous word to use for this. My second question is...if you were this priest that is called the "0prah" of priesthood, would you go to a beach just a few miles from where your LARGE fan base is located? What was this dude thinking? Ok, here is my prediction.......he will leave the priesthood but will continue his good work. In my opinion, nobody loses. This is a direct request to P0pe Benedict X.V.I.: Dear Pope, you have the ability to shift the winds of thought in your church. Please consider allowing priests to marry and have families. I think G0d would kinda like that. Thanks, and have a great day.

Embedded video from CNN Video

Times are a changin'

I just read that the Cath0lic Church is thinking about letting women into the V@tican army. It has only taken them 500 years to come to this possibility. Imagine what could be next...birth control, so the people that are child haters don't have them? how about priests marrying so they have a clue what they are talking about when counseling couples? At the rate the church is making changes these things could very well happen in another 500 years. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/8035235.stm (my linky thingy still isn't working) I believe I have shared with you before my feelings about having been raised in the Cath0lic Church. Honestly, I wish I could tell you more than one positive thing about my experiences in private Cath0lic school and the church in general. The only thing I can think of is my high school art teacher, Sister Joachim. She was a blast. She would turn on the music and all 250 pounds of her would boogie around the room from table to table checking out our projects. She was the only person..EVER...that made me feel like I could be creative. When she got in trouble from the M0ther Superior we all went to bat for her and demanded that she be allowed to teach us however she wanted. The next year, she was back, but had changed. Someone had shut off her light and she didn't dance anymore. Little did the administration know, but she is the reason many of us survived our days at school...knowing we could go to her room and be ourselves. She was my one bright spot in Cath0licism. (I will add here that many of my friends are very Cath0lic, they just know not to ask me to go to church with them :)I am far more spiritual than religious.