Tuesday, January 06, 2009

marriage and other crap

Ok..so the next time I am boohooing about poor BigD losing a body part, remind me of tonight and what an asshole he is. He couldn't connect his new printer to his computer..got half way done and told me to try. I tried..it wasn't compatible with his operating system so he just needed an update. While I updated his ubuntu it froze. Soooo had to go back to square one and reinstall. I backed up his documents and proceeded to redo the system. So tonight he comes barreling into my office BITCHING that I screwed up his computer...he can't find his links to his *ahem* sites. I told him they were still there, they just weren't on the desktop. He knows NOTHING about computers except how to turn it on, click on links and open email. (Seriously he doesn't even know what blogging means.) The only reason I didn't go off on him was because S2 and S3 were there and I didn't want them hear me tell him that his porn is safe and sound and them to sneak to see what shit he looks at on gross sites. So, now he is pissed at me FOR NO REASON after he ASKED ME to install his printer that he couldn't install. WTF! On days like this it is very easy for 27 years of marriage to feel like 26 too many. He has the personality that when he doesn't know how to do something and it is pointed out to him, he gets very defensive...see he is perfect. He can't stand for flaws to be pointed out..so we don't. We tiptoe around him and yes, talk about him behind his back...cause that's what family does you know. His own mother warned me about him.."he doesn't take criticism very well, even when he was little"...I should have listened..we mothers know our sons. When he was "sick" I was his angel, could do nothing wrong, he wanted me to sleep on a chair beside his bed so I was there when he woke up, etc etc....well, looks like things are back to normal. Yep, at least for today, BigD does stand for BigDick (and not in a good way).


Tina said...

Oh you poor thing. Men can be real butt heads sometimes. Did he find his icky sites? :)

Comedy Writer Jerry Perisho said...

Call him on it. Tell him everything you've written in the blog. Tell him that you resent his treatment of you and remind him that you were there for him when he was afraid. Tell him that the least he could do is give you the respect that you deserve.

Sure, he may be shocked to hear you say these words, but if you can deliver the message calmly and confidently, he cannot deny the honesty. Don't accuse and don't name call; just be factual and educate him.

I had a psychologist friend of mine teach me that "your feelings are sacred"; nobody can tell you that you don't feel a certain way when you do. Tell him how you feel; he cannot deny that those feelings are sacred.

Men need to be "enlightened" about feelings. Your husband is not unique, he just needs to be taught. If you can get through to him, he'll be a better mate.

Good luck!

beagle said...

On days like this it is very easy for 27 years of marriage to feel like 26 too many. Amen!

I am married (just short of) 6 years and a mother for only 6 months and I can already say with 100% certainty that raising a son is much easier than raising a husband!

(Which is not to say that raising a son is "easy", just that the grown boys are even harder!)

tz said...

hahahah, OHN, I almost told you not to read my post...and there you are on my blog telling me not to read this one..too late

oh weird, my comment that I did leave isn't here...damn computers.

DD said...

My husband got pissed b/c I made several notes, strikethroughs, and questions on an ebay listing he wanted to post but asked me to proof read first. He actually just wanted me to write it over. Then just ask me in the first place, you ass.

BigD: I would so go to his shortcuts and replace all the porn links with shopping site (gap, barnes&noble, or something like "I'm addicted to port" site if there was one). Serve him right.

Word verification: prock

Seems fitting.

Michele said...

So, tell us how you Really feel.. NO really! Inquiring minds want to know-- LOL
Thanks for reminding me why I am a happily divorced woman! LOL
It is good to have a place to vent things like this. I wonder if I would still be married had I a blog back then...Now that I think about it, that blog would have been blocked for excessive swearing, threatening of life, and other sordid illegal trappings... maybe it is a good thing I was NOT a blogger back then--hahaha

preppyplayer said...

Well, after a good nights sleep you'll feel better. As for telling him how you really feel? Not to be a cynic, but after 27 years do you think it would make a difference?
My good friend said," This is how it goes, one week he hates me, one week I hate him, one week we get along, and one week we adore each other- in no particular order!"
I guess I'm saying in every relationship,(including healthy ones) there is an ebb and flow.
PS I agree switch the porn to shopping or Joel Osteen (he's so happy)

Sitting in Silence said...

I so get this post ! what is it with Men?...why are they never wrong ?and why is it always our fault...
I tell ya...Cannie live with and cannie live without them....


TeamWinks said...

Men...uggghh. I think I'm going to start a rule in my house that I will not do any laundry that isn't in our laundry room. Either my husband will run out of laundry, shrink all of his clothes, or I will just end up beyond pissed that there is a mountain of dirty laundry in our closet. Like I said, men...ugh.

Deathstar said...

Yeah, I hear ya sister. That is why the silent treatment is so powerful in my household of two.