Thursday, November 16, 2006
Those of you that are not animal lovers won't understand this post but those of you that have ever had a special 4 legged friend will totally get this. Today at 4 pm we have to have our Tucker put to sleep. It is time. Time for him, not us. If it were up to us we would keep him around till he couldn't move but actually we are almost there. He has had a better life than many of the humans in this crazy world. It is just so hard to play God. I don't like deciding when life is over. I talked to a couple vets and they assured me that a quiet death while Tucker was sleeping in his own bed would be very rare so we have to take charge. I did extensive internet research about what I could give him before bed one night that would ease him to the "other side"..I couldn't find anything that would work for certain and most things could cause pain or distress, so off we go to the dreaded trip to the vet. There will be a hole in my heart. I have made everyone promise they won't get me a surprise puppy for Christmas, I couldn't take that right now. But, putting it all in perspective, reading all the posts of the horrible trials of infertility and loss that many of you (and I) have had this is a small blip on the radar, but it is my radar and it's gonna suck for awhile.