Friday, August 25, 2006
Infertility, adoption, pregnancy and parenthood
When I was little and people asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up I couldn't understand how they didn't already know that I wanted to be a mom. I was blessed with a wonderful mom and thought it was the greatest thing to be. After kissing a lot of toads I finally kissed the man I married. Almost from the minute we were married I (not so much him) was trying to get pregnant. We tried and tried and it wasn't happening. For about a year I took a mild fertility drug-no results. Then for about another year we went to the shots that made my ovaries the size of grapefruit and just as comfortable. The doc took me off the shots because I was popping out 12-13 eggs a month and he was afraid my innards would explode. The month after I stopped, I got pregnant but lost the baby in the8th week. I was devastated. Hubby was very upbeat and really pissed me off. I wanted him to understand how horrible I felt. He kept saying "it will happen" etc but I didn't want it to happen someday, I wanted it NOW! Then we were told of an agency that had started a domestic program (they dealt with Korea, China etc primarily) and a friend got us on the short list. Amazingly -unbeknownst to us- two very young (teen)and very courageous birthparents selected us to raise their baby. The agency didn't tell us until they had signed over permanent custody. We were called on Monday and told to pick up our son on Thursday. Those 3 days are a blur of shock, excitement, fear, shopping and about a thousand phone calls. When we arrived to pick him up we had to wait for about an hour because the social worker got lost--I thought I would pass out. Then she walked in with our new son in her arms. I don't think I put him down for at least 3 months after that. People would come over to meet him and when they asked to hold him I would mutter something about him not liking to be held except by me...I was so incredibly overprotective of that small wonderful boy. When he was about 7 months old, I got what I thought was a horrible case of the flu, actually I was pregnant--A few months later I had another wonderful baby boy--I got the same flu 4 years later and it was another son. Ironically, I also had 3 more miscarriages in between those years and we found out from a genetic counselor and DNA person that all four pregnancies that were lost, were all girl babies..since then I have read articles that say that is somewhat common to not be able to carry to term one sex or the other..hmmm. One of these days I will take you through the pregnancy traumas and fears but I must end here and get back to the work that pays me to feed all these boys!