Saturday, February 28, 2009

Bittersweet

If you are a parent, your one goal in life, is to raise, happy, healthy, self-sufficient beings to adulthood. Nobody ever told me how hard it would be to let them go once they got there. S1 came home for a surprise 24 hour visit. He called from a few miles down the road, said he was almost here and asked what was in the fridge. (the last part is standard operating procedure). I could tell he wanted to tell me something. I could see it in his eyes. First I asked if he was OK. He assured me he was fine, great in fact. He had news of the "I met a girl" variety, then he landed the boom. He has decided that this summer, he will not be coming home. He is staying in college town, getting a job there (one that he can continue to work even into the school year) and he is moving to a house with 3 other guys. I know they can't keep coming home forever but when they start to "officially" leave...and have a REAL life..it is bittersweet. It is what we worked so hard to accomplish all these years..isn't it? As I sit here at my desk, getting ready to work, I am really loving the creaking of the floor above me, in the room that he will not be sleeping in this summer, knowing that at least till this afternoon, I will be able to hear him padding around up there. (Okay..I know that he isn't moving to the outer limits, he will still be about an hour from home, but it still isn't the same, so allow me my pity party...just for today.) Also, I have to work a mandatory 8 hours of overtime today..what the hell is that about?? I was self-employed forever so this is a real shock to my lazy system. Also, BigD is going out this evening to a fundraiser for his "band". They have it every year, and every year I choose to stay home. It is too loud, the smell of beer in the place is overwhelming and I usually get more and more pissed at the night rolls on. So, I will be here, alone, licking my wounds. It might be time for me to go buy a chocolate cake, sit in bed, watch movies and stuff my face. Sounds like a plan.

16 comments:

lostintaipei said...

The ol' empty nest syndrome. Hey, this is something I'll get to avoid if this transfer doesn't take! I know I'd feel the same way... along the lines of careful what you wish for. Sounds like you did your job well.

And the mandatory 8 hrs. OT... Ugh. I've been a 1099er for the last 4 years and each time I take work that involves a control freak, micro manager breathing over my shoulder, it makes me want to scream.

But money is money: we ALL have bosses and are all whores for the greenbacks on some level or another.

Enjoy the patter while it lasts.

Athena said...

Oh my gosh - that is exactly what happened at my house last year at this time! Oldest son was a soph in college, decided he'd had enough of dorm life and wanted to rent a house with 3 other guys.

They found a great home, he moved in in May, and we ended up seeing quite a bit of him over the summer. After 'making the break', he realized that he missed home more than he thought he would!

It is strange having his empty room down the hall.

And now he's in Prague for a semester (terryseuropeansemester(dot)blogspot(dot com) and sometimes that's worse than living 2 hours away.

Get your favorite comfort foods - order out if needed - curl up with some good movies and a warm blanket and all the animals and enjoy the evening!

preppyplayer said...

How sweet that he made a special trip to let you know his plans. He knows his mom.
Bittersweet. Perfect word.
You did your job- a good mom(and Dad) prepare their children to LEAVE the nest, not cling to it. It still hurts though. I thought my son would come home more. NYC is too exciting compared to our sleepy town. But, some day I think he will move back and raise his family here and I look forward to that.
Have TWO pieces of cake!

*mary* said...

My daughter is barely 22 months old and to be honest- I am already freaked at the prospect that someday she will leave me. When she's clingy and all over me, I just remind myself of that fact and I'm not as annoyed anymore.

d e v a n said...

Wow - I can only imagine how it feels when they grow up for real. *sigh* Bittersweet, I'm sure.

Michele said...

I know just how you are feeling right now! It is hard, but also rewarding when you can sit back and watch them make it on their own. My oldest left home on her 18th birthday and I didn't see or hear from her for two weeks. I knew she was ok, because friends of mine would see her around town. Finally she showed up, like nothing had happened, because she needed some of the clothes she had left behind.
Kids! Gotta love em!
Then there is my youngest (19). She seems perfectly happy to live here at home, even if she isn't here much between work, boyfriend, and hanging out.
Eat junk food, look through the photo album, maybe even shed a tear or two. You know the ones, the tears nobody but another mom can understand! Tomorrow everything will have a brighter outlook. Trust me!

Rob, Tina and the boys said...

Shove over, I bought new jammies and I'll even bring my own fork! :)

eden said...

So, according to my calculations, you posted this 10 hours ago. How was your night? I hope it was ok, and you just chilled and found a good movie to watch. Do you mean 8 hours overtime AFTER you finish work? That totally sucks.

I'm glad he will only be an hour away ... but still!!

There's no place like home. XOXOXOX

Laurie said...

You totally deserve the chocolate, movies, and a night in bed for a pity party!

Ina J Offret said...

Ah... but YOU are still young and YOU have a life and are an interesting person too!! The kids grow up sooo fast..... PS Cold Stone is right down the street from my house and we serve Champagne every Thursday at 4... come on over dear...

Wait Another Year said...

I don't think it is ever easy to let your child go, even if he/she is just an hour away. Just know you did a great job with him and he'll probably be visiting or calling you more than you think.

Wordgirl said...

That moment.

I think about it, with W -- imagine what it will be like -- you feel so protective of them now -- (he's almost nine) but realizing that in ten years he's going to have this whole life, so separate from us...

I imagine it's bittersweet.

eden said...

OHN.

I read your latest comment to me this morning, and laughed like I had not laughed in a VERY LONG TIME.

I laughed all the way through pump class, I'm now back home and still laughing.

Funniest. Comment. Ever.

Sitting In Silence said...

When ever the words Mandatory come out...I cringe....

8 Hours...I soooooooo will never complain about 1 again xoxo

Lorrie Veasey said...

Wait a freeking minute...they LEAVE eventually? Hmmm. Maybe I should re-evaluate this whole "get into my bed in the middle of the night" thing. Are you telling me that stops too?

beagle said...

Aww . . . I can't even think about that part yet. My S1 just got here! But they grow so fast and you raised yours well . . .

Still . . . I can see the bitter and the sweet here.

I hope the cake was good.

;-)