Saturday, March 17, 2007

My week in review

This week has been a roller-coaster of emotions. On Monday I got a call from my doctor telling me that my second pap was abnormal like my previous one a few weeks ago. I immediately got sick to my stomach with thoughts of cervical cancer and dying before my kids were all grown and visions of the Big D (which is what I will now call my husband here-some days it is Big Dave, Big Don, Big Darren, Big Dreamy but quite often it is Big Dick so depending on my mood Big D always seems to fit) finally getting that trophy wife that I am sure he fantasizes about. So, now my next step is to find an OB/Gyn that is on my insurance and pray they know what the hell is going on and don’t pussy foot (no pun intended) around and either take all these old rotten parts out or find out exactly why things have gone abnormal in the past year. On Wednesday Big D left for a 4-5 day trip with a busload of drunks headed to a St. Patrick’s day parade 15 hours from here (he plays in a bagpipe band). Sometimes I go on these trips but with 3 kids here at home and nobody around to stay with them and the fact that it costs an ass load more money if I go too (his room is split between guys if they bunk together but if I go I draw the line at his band-mates snoring in the next bed). Obviously it costs a lot less to send only one of us and since I am not in a band, he is the obvious choice. Normally when these rare trips come up and I am not going I have planned weeks in advance to paint rooms, refinish furniture, et cetera but this time it is a good thing that I didn’t. I have barely had time to brush my teeth. I spent all day Friday with son #1 on a college visit. As I said in a previous post he was accepted 3 places. The school we visited on Friday is his first choice and by the time we were ready to leave he had pretty much committed to that school. Today in the mail he gets a letter from his second choice offering him a full ride to the tune of $40,000.000 a year. Shit. I don’t want this to be about money. His first pick has an outstanding architecture program with a Masters in 5 years with the last year spent in Florence Italy and a 90%, yes 90%, employment percentage within 3 months of graduation. Sounds pretty good to me and would obviously be a great fit for him….but the other school with 40 freakin thousand a year, that is really hard for a miserly bitch like me to sneeze at. So, the drama continues…at least till I see if his first choice may cough up some bucks..that would make it a lot easier to not feel ripped off. Also yesterday, son # 3 asked if he could have a party. I said no. He is only 12 but thinks he is about 17. We compromised and I told him he could have a "few" kids over. We finally agreed on 7 and amazingly it ended up being 3 boys (4 with him) and 4 girls. Honest to God, I have NEVER heard 8 kids make so much noise in my life! Thankfully it was only for 2 hours but by the end of that time I was ready to hang every one of them upside down and staple their toes to the wall. I have to say it was an equal opportunity noisy crowd, the girls were squealing and the boys were wrestling. I tried numerous tricks to get them all quieted down, games, movies, food, they only worked for about 45 seconds and they were back at it. But, the real kicker of the night is that son #3 had his FIRST KISS. One of the girls that came over was a little shy, very pretty, sweet girl and it turns out she and son have been crushing on each other for about 2 months. Well last night he laid a big lip lock on her and lived to tell about it. He was on cloud 9 and didn’t even complain when I told him that he had to clean up the mess when they all left. His feet were barely touching the ground. So my week has gone from fear of cancer, jealously of Big D having a grand time without me, seeing my 18 year old "baby" beaming walking around his probable home for the next 5 years to my youngest having his first kiss. If I were a drinking girl, this St. Patty’s day would be a real humdinger. Son #1 and son #2 are with their friends tonight and son #3 is at a sleep over. I should be enjoying the peace and quiet but here I sit feeling sorry for myself. Tonight I feel like I am just an extra appendage that doesn’t belong anywhere important. Here is to my one person pity party~cheers.


DD said...

If you won't mind, I'll have one (or two) in your honor. I hope that you find a doc who gives you news you want to hear. Those darn girly parts really can be a nuisance.

CA Momma said...

K, so here goes...
After the abnormal paps came back abnormal again... They gave me a colposcopy (sp?) to make sure not into ovaries etc and making sure uterus ok. My doctor immediately decided I needed an entire hysterectomy. (he was a new doctor and I am very happy he did all these tests, but I fought for alternatives)
My sisters (one who is a nurse and the other who has gone through breast cancer) insisted I go to the Bay Area for a more "up to date" Dr.

Found out that my doctor from Stanford (he is awesome awesome awesome and people from New York etc were in his waiting room- I totally lucked out getting him) who presented a paper saying that in most cases, cervical cancer in its beginning stages can be treated with what used to be a biopsy test called a LEEP (don't ask me what it means).

It basically is a conesized "biopsy" cut from your cervix by an electric loop thing. I was just so lucky to have many students and three other doctors watching my doctor perform this surgery on me (ugh). Be prepared for smoke etc and charcoal like discharge (yuck I know , more info than most need) but it is worth it not to have an entire hysterectomy. My doctor says that my previous doctor was right if it was about 10-15 years ago that would be the answer (the hysterectomy). You also need your ovaries for heart health.

I go every six months to the Dr for pap tests. The doctor says that everything is healing nicely (I just went this friday) and I will get the test results in a bit. He is very positive and has even wrote me a letter to approve me for an adoptive parent.

I know what those first few weeks/months feel like... looking at people smoking and partying seemingly perfectly healthy and wondering why the heck it is you who was slated for the big C. I had the same feeling about my "Big D" and his new bubbly trophy wife raising MY children. Pissed off and overwhelmed does not describe my feelings.

there is a blood test for ovarian cancer called... c127 I think (you should look it up). Even if there is no indication of it, it makes you feel much more safe to have it done (emotionally and mentally this diagnosis is a big black cloud over your head as to where else C might be).

I hope this has helped instead of being a rerun of information.

If you ever need anything or have any more questions please contact me.

Nickie said...

I hope that you find a doc soon who will take charge and figure out what is going on in there. Nothing too bad I hope.

Sounds like son#1 has a big decision ahead of him. It would be so great if his first choice would pony up some $$. Fingers crossed.

Oh man, reading about son#2's first kiss was so fun for me. It's like looking into a crystal ball at my future. Thanks for the very sweet glimpse.

How cool that BigD plays bagpipes!!

Beagle said...

I'm so sorry about the pap results. Most times something like a LEEP or laser surgery will take care of things. I hope that is the case for you. It's all scary though, until you know.

Fingers crossed for you!

Dr. Deborah Serani said...

Keep us posted about the next series of tests. I'll be sending good vibes via the blogosphere to you.

Ellen K. said...

I hope everything will be OK on the health front.

I love reading about your sons' day-to-day antics. They sound like a very fun and frustrating handful.

steph said...

Sounds like a whole hell of a lot going on over there.
Before I forget, your comment about the dogs cooling off where their balls used to be had me rolling over here....
ca momma's got the info. sounds useful. I've got nothing to offer other then good vibes and the hope that it's nothing that can't be fixed in a simple manner.
All your boys are growing up. That must blow your mind. You know, when you have that all of five seconds of down time to actually think about it.
And tell Big D he owes you a spa day. Or at least a professional massage. Dinner? KFC?

SeaSpray said...

HI Ohn - What a week! You all must be so proud of your son. :)

Exciting to see them grow and go through their different phases although bittersweet when they start to leave home. (I am so sentimental!)

My mother had 3 irregular paps come back and her doc recommended a hysterectomy but i had her see my OBGYN and he did cryosurgery and she has been fine ever since and that was 13 years ago. I hope all goes well for you.