My week in review

This week has been a roller-coaster of emotions. On Monday I got a call from my doctor telling me that my second pap was abnormal like my previous one a few weeks ago. I immediately got sick to my stomach with thoughts of cervical cancer and dying before my kids were all grown and visions of the Big D (which is what I will now call my husband here-some days it is Big Dave, Big Don, Big Darren, Big Dreamy but quite often it is Big Dick so depending on my mood Big D always seems to fit) finally getting that trophy wife that I am sure he fantasizes about. So, now my next step is to find an OB/Gyn that is on my insurance and pray they know what the hell is going on and don’t pussy foot (no pun intended) around and either take all these old rotten parts out or find out exactly why things have gone abnormal in the past year. On Wednesday Big D left for a 4-5 day trip with a busload of drunks headed to a St. Patrick’s day parade 15 hours from here (he plays in a bagpipe band). Sometimes I go on these trips but with 3 kids here at home and nobody around to stay with them and the fact that it costs an ass load more money if I go too (his room is split between guys if they bunk together but if I go I draw the line at his band-mates snoring in the next bed). Obviously it costs a lot less to send only one of us and since I am not in a band, he is the obvious choice. Normally when these rare trips come up and I am not going I have planned weeks in advance to paint rooms, refinish furniture, et cetera but this time it is a good thing that I didn’t. I have barely had time to brush my teeth. I spent all day Friday with son #1 on a college visit. As I said in a previous post he was accepted 3 places. The school we visited on Friday is his first choice and by the time we were ready to leave he had pretty much committed to that school. Today in the mail he gets a letter from his second choice offering him a full ride to the tune of $40,000.000 a year. Shit. I don’t want this to be about money. His first pick has an outstanding architecture program with a Masters in 5 years with the last year spent in Florence Italy and a 90%, yes 90%, employment percentage within 3 months of graduation. Sounds pretty good to me and would obviously be a great fit for him….but the other school with 40 freakin thousand a year, that is really hard for a miserly bitch like me to sneeze at. So, the drama continues…at least till I see if his first choice may cough up some bucks..that would make it a lot easier to not feel ripped off. Also yesterday, son # 3 asked if he could have a party. I said no. He is only 12 but thinks he is about 17. We compromised and I told him he could have a "few" kids over. We finally agreed on 7 and amazingly it ended up being 3 boys (4 with him) and 4 girls. Honest to God, I have NEVER heard 8 kids make so much noise in my life! Thankfully it was only for 2 hours but by the end of that time I was ready to hang every one of them upside down and staple their toes to the wall. I have to say it was an equal opportunity noisy crowd, the girls were squealing and the boys were wrestling. I tried numerous tricks to get them all quieted down, games, movies, food, they only worked for about 45 seconds and they were back at it. But, the real kicker of the night is that son #3 had his FIRST KISS. One of the girls that came over was a little shy, very pretty, sweet girl and it turns out she and son have been crushing on each other for about 2 months. Well last night he laid a big lip lock on her and lived to tell about it. He was on cloud 9 and didn’t even complain when I told him that he had to clean up the mess when they all left. His feet were barely touching the ground. So my week has gone from fear of cancer, jealously of Big D having a grand time without me, seeing my 18 year old "baby" beaming walking around his probable home for the next 5 years to my youngest having his first kiss. If I were a drinking girl, this St. Patty’s day would be a real humdinger. Son #1 and son #2 are with their friends tonight and son #3 is at a sleep over. I should be enjoying the peace and quiet but here I sit feeling sorry for myself. Tonight I feel like I am just an extra appendage that doesn’t belong anywhere important. Here is to my one person pity party~cheers.