Dear girl whose name I can't remember:
I see you sitting on my couch, gazing adoringly at my almost 20 year old son, and know what you are thinking. You are picturing your wedding day. You probably have your bridesmaids picked out. I hate to burst your bubble, but my son has never mentioned your name before, consequently, I would hold off ordering your gown for the big day. Chances are he went back to school today and he will probably text you, or send you f.acebook messages, but trust me, you aren't "the one". I am pretty sure I would know your name if you were.
P.S. It was pretty awkward when I walked in the room (the room that has no wall between it and the kitchen) and saw you rubbing my sons thigh. Please don't do that again. And if you have to do that, please at least STOP or look embarrassed, not look like you are ready to rip off his/your clothes.
Not your future mother-in-law.