Monday, April 05, 2010

I know, I KNOW!

I have been conspicuously absent from here. Not to worry. I am still kicking and have several snarky posts in my head. But, right now, I need to write a quick letter to the girl that was in my family room last night.

Dear girl whose name I can't remember:

I see you sitting on my couch, gazing adoringly at my almost 20 year old son, and know what you are thinking. You are picturing your wedding day. You probably have your bridesmaids picked out. I hate to burst your bubble, but my son has never mentioned your name before, consequently, I would hold off ordering your gown for the big day. Chances are he went back to school today and he will probably text you, or send you f.acebook messages, but trust me, you aren't "the one". I am pretty sure I would know your name if you were.

P.S. It was pretty awkward when I walked in the room (the room that has no wall between it and the kitchen) and saw you rubbing my sons thigh. Please don't do that again. And if you have to do that, please at least STOP or look embarrassed, not look like you are ready to rip off his/your clothes.

Sincerely,

Not your future mother-in-law.

13 comments:

Yo-yo Mama said...

What? You didn't call her out for pawing your son? You must be getting soft.

preppyplayer said...

We have that "Mom sonar" that is magical.
Hope all is well, I'm sure you've been busy and further along on your kitchen. I hope to be staring on May 1st. fingers crossed.

Frau said...

love it great letter to what's her name!

edenland said...

HAHAHAHAHAHHA

OMG OHN thank you so much for this post. Pure gold.

About ten minutes ago, Tim said to me geez, I feel sorry for my future wife.

I do, too.

LOLZA XOXOXOXOX

PS Welcome back Kotter

Rebecca said...

Hilarious!

Jen Anderson said...

My Grandmother used to tell the story of when my Uncle Matt broke his leg when he was right out of high school. All these girls came over to help take care of him. "Mrs. Galvin, I'm going to make Matthew a sandwich. Mrs. Galvin, I'm going to iron Matthew's shirt." And so on.

Grandma said all those girls thought he was going to marry them and he had no intention of it. Like you, she thought they were such fools.

The day he met his future wife, he came home from a basketball game in the park, sat down at the table with his parents and told them that he met a girl with beautiful eyes. Grandma & Grandpa rolled their eyes and said, "Here we go."

Demeter said...

Wow, I can't imagine that moment, but I am sure it will come, in about 2 decades...What a moment!

Ina in Alaska said...

HA! Great letter! The girls today are very brazen!

awomanmyage said...

I think I just had a flash foward moment!

Wordgirl said...

YIKES.

This doesn't not make me excited for the girl who will be sitting in our living room as adolescence approaches...I'm not ready!!!

Unknown Mami said...

AWKWARD!!!

The Hopkins Fam said...

Hahahahahaha ohhh my I'm not ready for this...

Dr. Deb said...

LOL!!!!