Short update

Hi guys...We are still in Pittsburgh. BigD was supposed to be released today but on his discharge xray they saw something they didnt like so we are here till at least tomorrow. The kicker is, the pain meds they are giving him are making him feel fine and he is not a patient man (are there really any of those out there?) so he is antzy. My fabulous wonderful brother-in-law works here in Pittsburgh several times a month and is here now so he brought my laptop. I was having serious blog withdrawal not knowing what was going on :) I have S3 here with me so I am not alone. EVERYONE I have had an occasion to deal with here in this city has been remarkable. I will leave here wanting to be the poster child for Pittsburgh promoting. My friend called last night and told me she and a couple other friends are making extras for Thanksgiving for us so I don't have to cook AND my sister-in-law went to my house and did ALL of my laundry. I may have to convince BigD to have another surgery next month and I might get my bathrooms cleaned for me :) Yes, I did just make a joke. I am feeling slap-happy from being in the same stinky clothes (did buy some new undies though and B-I-L brought a small bag for me with the computer too. ) I just want to be in my own bed, in my own shower and I miss my dogs.

The booger waved

Story to follow.....still in Pittsburgh,,,third day in the same clothes...BigD is minus part of a lung and I just read that A. Simpson had her baby....see the world does go on when life is crumbling around you. :) I am ok. Big D WILL be ok....path reports to follow. I will blog when I get home, snagging a 'puter here for a minute. Hell, I am such a good blogger I even have photos to post. THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR GOOD WISHES AND FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT PRAY, THANKS FOR THAT TOO :) Love, OHN.

HERE WE GO AGAIN

In one hour we will leave the warm cozy confines of our home and haul our butts over to see Uber Super Doc once again. So for the most part of the day I will be sitting....in a car, in a waiting room, in another waiting room, and in the car. The whole process will take about 12 hours then we will come home and fall into our bed. Anybody want to come over around 6 and turn on our electric blanket for us so it will be toasty warm when we get home? Damn, that would be a great trick to teach the dogs! BigD will be having yet another PET scan to compare the size of his lung booger to the last time we saw it. God, I hope it doesn't wave. I am saying it here first....I am betting that uber super doc will want to whack out 1/3 of the lung. I have tried to tell BigD that this man is a s.u.r.g.e.o.n and that is what they do. That is how he keeps his wife in Dolce and his kids in private school...surgeons cut. Thankfully they do or many of us would be screwed. BUT, BigD has to keep in mind that another opinion prior to the sound of the saw cutting through his chest would be a good idea. I love doctors...I really do. Some of the funniest people I hang with are doctors but lets face it...in ANY career....not everyone can be tops in their class. Hmmmmm. I sure as hell hope that this guy was hovering somewhere in the top half at least. So off we go for another day of vending machine food and good times. I'll be back.

What's in a name?

My friend Rebel is FORCING me to do this. I did take the liberty of swapping a few letters so nobody can really find me. Though, if you happen to have a cracker jack decoder ring, you probably are on your way over right now. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names) Bernie Edward NASCAR NAME: (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad ) Eddie Bob STAR WARS NAME: (the first 2 letters of your last name, first 4 letters of your first name)Suchri DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color, fav animal) Blue Tiger SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you live) Marie Monty (not giving away the real place so my stalkers can't find me) SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd fav color, fav alcoholic drink, add "THE" to the beginning) The Rose Kahlua FLY NAME: (first 2 letters of 1st name, last 2 letters of your last name) Chel ROCK STAR NAME: (current pet's name, current street name) Cosmo Creek PORN NAME: (1st pet, street you grew up on) Chico Street

BRAIN SPINNING DAY

Why is it that so many times in life, multiple things happen in one day? I can sail along with absolutely nothing for weeks then in a matter of hours have several things change the course of my week, or life. We have been waiting and waiting to get the report on BigD's most recent biopsy and culture. I haven't gone into detail here the moronic staff that populates Dr from another land's office. I think I mentioned the pierced lovely that hovers the front desk and makes a lasting impression. She is only one of 4 lovelies that I have had the misfortune to deal with. Am I wrong that in a professional setting that staff should act, well, professional?? That means no open mouth gum chawing, bubble snapping, bra strap arranging, loud talking bimbos. Part of the problem is that most doctors aren't willing to pay more than minimum wage and as the saying goes, you get what you pay for. So, I called two days ago to get this report. OBVIOUSLY we are worried. This whole mess started 8 weeks ago and we are still twirling in our seats waiting for an answer. Dr from another land does not have a phone option to actually speak to any one of the bimbettes. You can push 1 to get the automated refill line, 2 to leave a message for an appointment and 3 to leave a message for a return call. I chose 3, left a detailed message about who I was, what specific reports I wanted to have, the date of the procedure, the fact that BigD is still coughing like a sick rhino and requested that we get a call back with what the good doc found out along with what the next step should be depending on the results. Today I get a call from the bimbette that thinks she is very very important. She tries so hard to impress me with using her "big girl words" except they are usually out of context and grammatically horrid. I am certainly not the language police but if you really don't know the meaning of the words you are using and when to use them.....don't use them. (Remember I left a DETAILED message regarding the information we were hoping to receive when they called back so she knew the WHOLE story before she called) When I thanked her for finally calling back, she said the following: HER: "Ok, so you want to know about the results?" ME: "Yes, we are obviously concerned" HER: "It was negative" ME: "Which was negative? Both the biopsy and the culture?" HER: "I don't know" ME: "What don't you know?" HER: "I don't know what he did" ME: "Isn't it in the chart?"that you should have right in front of you, you stupid bitch? "I spoke with him when he came out of the OR and he told me he did a biopsy and a scraping for culture" HER: "Oh" ME: "Would it be possible for you to ask him which was negative, or if both were?" HER: "I guess" ME: "And while you are at it, could you ask him what is next since there is still a big mass in my husbands lung?" trying to sound pleasant when I wanted to scream HER: "Ok. But I am leaving soon" ME: "I will be available all day tomorrow" HER: "Whats your number?" ME: "XXX-XXX-XXXX" the same one you just called dingdong HER: "Yah, ok, have a good one" ME: too stunned to even talk at this point so I walked to the kitchen to bang my head against the oven door. THEN ten minutes after that conversation I got a call offering me a job. On a lark yesterday I went on Mo.nster and filled out an application in my field, put together a resume in LITERALLY 10 minutes, uploaded it and today had a 45 minute phone interview/test/ assessment and bam....they offered me the position. I am torn because I really like the office I am working in but the pay is measly and I really miss working from home. This new position is home based and it is also product pay so if I bust my cute little butt, I can make much more (I think) than I am making at Dr. doesn't wash his hands (as mentioned in prior post about his potty habits). Tomorrow I am going to hand in my resignation and hope that I don't regret it. I have already changed my mind 10 times. I know that once I resign, I can't take it back so I am going over and over it in my head. The new job will keep me chained to my desk for a 5 hour shot and I have to work on Saturdays but then again I will be home and I love being home. THEN...I am having an issue with S3, nothing huge, but concerning. Long story short, I think he is being made fun of and used in a capacity at school that is bothering me. I will figure it out and I am too tired to type it all out but it is just one more thing that is making my brain spin today. So, how about a show of hands...thumbs up or down on the job change? I don't do change well and always worry if I am making the right decision. On the outside I look like I have it 'all goin on' but really I am an indecisive blob of jello.

Twenty years ago...

....you gave birth to a baby boy. Nobody knew at that time what life would bring over the years but you made a decision that would change your life, your sons life and my life. You were wise enough to know that you were not financially or emotionally ready to parent this baby boy and you made the decision to let two strangers raise and nurture your son. You were 16 and had the option of terminating the pregnancy yet in your wisdom (well beyond your years) you knew that this little life had a purpose and you set aside the whispers from your church family, the taunts of classmates and the suggestions from well meaning people and decided to give birth then courageously give your child to a couple that were longing to be parents. I am still amazed that you chose us. We were many years older than the other 4 couples you were also considering and we were almost certain that you would exclude us for that reason along with a few more. After all, when you are 16, a couple that is in their 30's must seem ancient. Through your wisdom beyond your years you decided that our age was an advantage. You felt it meant we were stronger in our marriage and we had overcome many obstacles by that time. You chose us to be your sons parents. How can we possibly begin to express to you what our son means to us. We love him even more than any written word can describe. Thank you is such a feeble phrase at this point. You changed my life. You made me a mom. The one thing that I had dreamt about from the time I was old enough to ....... well, I don't remember a time EVER that I didn't want to be a mom. Your courage and wisdom at such a young age changed so many lives and continues to do so. Our son is a wonderful man now. I know you are thinking about him today, on his birthday, and I just wanted you to know that I am thinking about you. I hope your life has become the wonderful life that you deserve. As feeble as it sounds....thank you.

Hello?? Where is everyone??

Twice this past week I have driven past our county board of elections and the lines have literally wrapped around the building. Twice I wanted to hop into line and probably wait 1-1 1/2 hours to cast my vote. Twice this week I have had to be other places too soon to wait in line. Today I didn't have to work in my "other" job that takes me out of my comfy sweats and puts me in ridiculous shoes that only someone who never wears them must have designed. So I thought that maybe this morning after a parent teacher conference, but before BigD's bronchoscopy I could shoot over to the poll. Well the conference lasted a freaking 45 minutes with a combination of 4 teachers all telling me how delightful my 14 year old son is, and of course I took all the credit for his good qualities and blamed his wicked, sarcastic humor on his father. ANYWAY~because it took so long there was no way I would have time to wait in line to vote and still take BigD to the hospital for the lung rotorooter. He had the bronchoscopy, woke up, bitched about how hungry he was, they gave him a muffin and juice (they told him they had to make sure he could swallow while he was still in the hospital so he wouldn't crumble at our kitchen table and ruin dinner) and we were out of there. He felt well enough to go vote with me, (where my vote canceled his) and lo and behold, who should show up at our little polling place but S1 and S2 both having driven 45 min. home to vote (so that would be 3 votes negating 1 vote;) then somehow I was conned into spending 1/2 of my paycheck from "other" office feeding everyone at a local restaurant. (Actually it was the second one we went to. BigD had heard about a new place in town that was good and supposedly reasonable but when they seated us and I saw that the least expensive thing on the menu was a $12 appetizer, I loaded up my STARVING TEENAGE BOY brood and went down the road to a more moderately priced place and still managed to spend $75 to make a dent in their appetites). Anyway, my whole point to this post was voting. Remember the 1 1/2 hour wait that I passed twice this week?? When we got to the polling place there was NOT ONE PERSON waiting in line. We literally walked in, showed our ID's walked over to the electronic machines and were out of there. I asked the workers what the day had been like (this was about 5 o'clock) and they said this morning there were about 20 people waiting at one point but that most of the day, people had trickled in. I guess all the people that voted earlier, well, voted earlier. I am soooo glad I didn't wait in line earlier this week! So, here I sit refreshing my computer over and over to see what the results are looking like. Either way, no matter who you all voted for, my hope is that our incoming president can bring our wonderful nation back to what it should be. I don't worry as much for myself but for my kids and their kids. We need a little work, but it can be done. p.s.--in about a week we will have the results of the newest biopsy and the doctor from another land also did some scrapings to be sent for culturing....I think I like the way this guy thinks :)

A teeny update

We saw the doctor from another land (LG=lung guy) on Thursday, not uber super doc in Pittsburgh but our local pulmonologist. We needed to start back at the beginning because the non-information we were getting was confusing and depressing.

He kicked back and spent over 45 minutes with us (though it might have had more to do with the fact that we were his last patients for the morning rather than loving us unconditionally) and he zipped out his computer and showed us the scans, slice by slice. We were able to see the plaques, the mass, the needle aspiration attempt (nobody is convinced that the radiologist was dead on with his target even though when we asked him he said his average is 'around 100%'). LG told us that since the first biopsy was negdeeb and the PET was negdeeb at this point he would be inclined to wait 3 months, rinse and repeat.

By the end of the visit though, after really listening to what we were saying he did think that BigD should maybe have a bronchosopy after all ~~~~~~YES, this is what I wanted 3 weeks ago. In my opinion if you can actually see the lung booger with your own eyes, it is much better than relying on a CT--but then again I have always been a hands on learner....tell me, read to me, explain to me, it all works.... but not as well as when I can hold, see, or do what ever it is I am supposed to learning.

So Tuesday he is going to go in, scope away and try to get another few specimens for the path lab. The lung booger is in a location that may be hard to reach with the scope but he is going to try. OH, he also said that in his opinion he doesn't think the diaphragm is involved, he believes the booger is contained in the lower lobe of the lung that just happens to be butted up against the diaphragm.

The one thing that this whole mess has done though is make S1 and S2 come down off their newly independent high horses and realize that family is indeed important. Neither one has actually come out and said they are worried but the fact that they keep popping home for a night or two here and there, surely tells me something. I am positive it is not my fantastic cooking that draws them home and sometimes they dont even bring dirty laundry!!

I has to be concern for their dad. This morning, as I sit here in my office I have S1 upstairs in his bed (which is right above my office and sometimes the floor creaks and it is a wonderful sound:), S2 is on the big chair in the family room, and he brought a friend who is on the couch. In no time at all I will be in the kitchen slaving over pancakes, eggs, sausage, bagels etc etc and you know what...I will actually be loving it. I am always at my cheeriest when I have all my guys here. It fills my heart. I know that before long they will have their own families and I will be placed a little further away in their priorities so I am loving all this while I can.

On a closing note---last night was halloween. I bought 60 bags of doritos to pass out (I have always given out fab candy but anything we have left, I eat, so I decided to go the non chocolate route this year). So this morning, I have 48 bags left. Yep, we only had 12 goblins come to the house. When S2 was wondering why, it dawned on him that the neighborhood has undergone a natural evolution. Most of us here are my age and the old trick or treaters are his age and are off at school. We have a few new "young" families starting to move in but not many.

I had a bit of an argument with S3 about going out last night. He just turned 14 and I personally think that is too old (its never too old if you are going to an organized party but to ring doorbells, when you can get a job and buy your own damn candy....its too old). Because I am woman, hear me roar, I won the battle and he switched to scare mode. He decided to hide in the bushes and scare the little goblins that came.....so I ask you, if you turned around to leave and saw this child, would you be frightened???

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