Tuesday, June 12, 2007
When you hear someone say that today is an anniversary do you assume it is of a happy event? It is one of those words that can mean so many things. When you are young and dating "like duh, an amazing guy" you celebrate your monthly anniversaries because you never really know if you will make it to the year mark. When you are married you celebrate that you have been able to stay together this long without inflicting severe bodily harm on one another with a mere death ray stare after your partner says or does something so completely stupid it is hard to believe they really did that, and that you are STILL married and CELEBRATING this anniversary. Then I think all of us have anniversaries that we would give anything to not have to remember. The babies lost, the parents lost, and multiple other moments in time that have formed you into the person you are. Seventeen years ago today my mom died. I can't believe it has been so long. Son #2 was 6 weeks old, son #1 was 17 months. Her death was totally unexpected and sadly the result of a medical resident's mistake. At the time countless people urged me to sue the resident, hospital and everyone in between but I couldn't bring myself to do that. He (the doc in training) was about my age and didn't harm her with any malice or intent. He made a mistake. A mistake that changed my entire world. It took my sons adoring grandmother that they would never know. She was the one person I could tell anything to and not be judged. (In fact she pretty much thought that I was brilliant--ahhhh a mom's blind love). I miss her every day and can't believe it has been so long and so much life has passed since then. All the important milestones in my adult life have happened without her knowing. Honestly it was about 2 years before I quit reaching for the phone to call her to tell her about something or about nothing at all, just to tell her hi and I love you. I realize after reading so many blogs about sucky moms that I was very blessed...though I already knew that but it just drives home the point. As for another subject...I have had a couple people email me asking what I ended up doing about demon boy (remember Damian the cat throwing devil??) well after thinking about it and talking with a couple of people that know the family well...apparently this would NOT be news to his parents. This boy has been banned from several homes and his parents really don't give a rats ass about why. There are some major issues going on in that house and it is best that I just keep son 3# away from there. What DOES break my heart is that he is being cast aside as a lost cause at 12. The rescuer in me wants to sweep him up and guide him into a productive adulthood. I will never understand people that have children and then fail them so miserably. Also since I posted last son #1 graduated from high school. I handled the whole evening great, nary a tear till one kid got up at the end and gave a fabulous little speech (which I might add, he did without note cards which is something that neither the superintendent or the school principal could do) and at the end of the kids speech, he asked the other students to join him in applause for their parents, to thank them for all their love and devotion all these years.... I lost it. Yep, tears 'o plenty. I sat there and watched the little boy that I first held when he was just 3 weeks old, graduate and begin the next chapter in his life. Where the hell did all the years go?? Well this post sure is dismal. I hope I don't drive you away with my droning on and on...I think it is just the day.