Pay it forward and Harley's sister

A wonderful blogger friend, Beagle, posted this today....so in honor or her plagiarizing Starfish, I am plagiarizing HER with a simple copy/paste with a promise. The following is mostly plagiarized from Starfish's blog, because I am feeling lazy today: I am participating in a Pay It Forward "exchange" that Starfish is doing (You can follow the links all the way back to it's origin to see all the people who will benefit!) I will be performing a few not so random acts of kindness. Here are the rules:I will send a handmade gift to the first 3 people who leave a Comment on my blog requesting to join this PIF exchange, and who make the same pledge on their own blogs . I don’t know what that gift will be yet and you may not receive it tomorrow or next week, but you will receive it in the the next three months, that is my promise! The only thing you have to do in return is pay it forward. So, like Beagle, the first 3 will get something from me...not sure yet what that something will be but I promise you I will put some thought into each persons gift. (Obviously I will need your "real" address but I promise to keep it private~don't put it in the comment section, I will give you my email address and you can email it to me.) Now on to the most important answer to many of your emailed questions....NO, we did not get the dog. When I called the dog warden and told him that we were very interested in Mary Lou (still a really stupid name-for a dog) his brusquely told me, "she is gone". My heart sank and I was scared to ask if she was gone because of euthanasia or adoption but he quickly told me that she was taken the very day her photo was posted. Apparently the website is only updated every couple of weeks--which I think is crazy if you are trying to find homes and you are a kill shelter there is a VERY SMALL window of time where you can actually see the animal and hopefully get there before the big needle! So, Mary Lou has a good home, Harley is still spoiled and a tad lonely so I am still looking. Here are my requirements...female (preferably but not mandatory), at least a year old, medium in size (no 8 pound yappers would fit with our family and we are waaaayyyy done with the 130 pound style) like 20-30 lbs or so, sweet, housebroken, minimal (known)health problems-obviously things happen as they age and we will do more than we should for them because they do become family members after all, and the dog must love attention and quiet times and have a great desire to be pampered and loved. Oh, it also has to love cats because they were here first and aren't going anywhere. So, if you have any suggestions, feel free. I have had a horrid week so far that I am too busy to post about right now but I will get it all out later today or maybe tomorrow. It is one of those bang your head against the wall weeks. YUK.

Please restrain me!

For some godforsaken reason today I was purusing the local animal shelter listings. I have toyed with the idea of getting harley a dog of his own but then I come to my senses the xanax wears off and realize I am nuts. Wellllll...today I was looking at the listings and came across this dog...she is 1 year old (same as harley) and was found as a stray in townX-same place harley was born....look at this photo of her on the website and tell me that she isn't his litter mate...

This is her pound photo>>>>

This photo is harley and his friend bo>>>>>>

I just about shit when I saw it. She even has the same funky hair style on her chest (though some people have said that about me;) Sooooo on Monday when the shelter opens the nut part of only-half-nuts will be calling the shelter in hopes that she hasn't been euthanized over the weekend. Something led me to that site this weekend and I am a believer in fate..if harley has a sister out there, then damn it we will make room for her in our family. I am out of my freaking mind!!!

This is a long one folks, grab the coffee and an extra donut

Thanksgiving. I will get to the snarky stuff first since that seems to be the highlight of most peoples day. We had to go to the SIL from hell house and I was in charge of making a couple of dishes (they were requested because she won't eat them, therefore she won't make them, but everyone else wants them so it is up to me. They turned out superbly once again. ) It was a very odd mix of people this year because other SIL and BIL were out of town, of the 5 big cousins only 1 was there and I discovered she is becoming an exact replica of her horrid mother. She is 26, has her masters degree and is pursuing her medical degree and is the most whiny, surly snot I have been around in quite some time. When S3 was kindly asking me some questions about her when we got home, he asked why she seemed so "rude". Good pickup on the vibe kid but the only way I could explain it to him was the theory about the kinds of people whose glass is 1/2 empty vs 1/2 full and I told him her glass was 1/2 empty AND it had a booger in the bottom. He understood completely. My good SIL is usually handy to have around to break up the conversation from the bad SIL monopolizing the entire evening ranting on and on about how her glass is 1/2 empty with a booger to boot. It really doesn't matter what the subject is, she always manages to find the 5% negative in anything and make it a 95% negative. It is absolutely exhausting trying to keep up. By the time we leave there I am ready to drive into a pond and sink to the bottom. Honestly, I was in bed within 5 minutes of being home---we got home at 9. I couldn't even watch Gray's Anatomy-thank God for Tiv*. I even good naturedly told her they are doing wonderful things these days with pharmaceuticals (insert any number of antidepressants here) and she promptly told me they were all poison. She is very big into homeopathy which is great, I believe in holistic medicine any time it is an option but it is obviously not working very well for her. On a much brighter note earlier in the day we were all still scuzzy-not showered or even really out of our sweats, the doorbell rang. At first I thought who in the hell shows up unannounced on Thanksgiving morning?! I saw the car pull in and I went and hid in the bedroom making S2 answer the door. After hearing snippets of the conversation between him and the guy at the door I realized it was one of BigD's old buddies. He was cruising through our city to get to his turkey day destination and decided to pop over to say hi. It was the highlight of my entire month. No joke, it really was. This guy is amazing. He has written a few books, has a few CD's out and has spoken all over the country to many groups from Heads of State to 3rd graders. He labels himself as a story teller and that he is. Most of what he writes is written from personal events, having had a very interesting life. He does weave some fabric in some of them but it is effortless so unless you know him you aren't sure which are all fact and which have bits of creativity woven in. He signed a copy of one of his new books for us but he made me promise to read the very last story in the book as soon as he left. He said if I didn't cry, he would pray for me because it would mean that something in me was broken. I did read it, and I did cry. He has a wonderful way with words and most of his stories in his most recent book are set in poetry style. Before you go 'yuk poetry sucks', let me tell you even S2 (who is a waaayyy too cool 17 year old and S3 who is a 13 year old puke this week) loved the book. S2 even sat at the kitchen table READING TO ME which in my best recollection has never happened before. I told this gentleman all about ETSY because he doesn't want to do Amazon (he loses too much control as they get 70-80% of each book sale and since he writes from his heart and soul, he said it is too painful for him to see them take that much of him. If he decides to give ETSY a shot, I will definitely give you a shout out...they would be wonderful housewarming gifts or hostess gifts or any number of kinds of gifts. Right now he just sells them after his "talks" to whatever audience hires him. He is cheap too...he only gets $500 for his time (some corporate folks pay thousands for speakers) because he really loves what he does. He is amazing. I couldn't help think that if I were to give one of his books to the SIL from hell, she would undoubtedly find something wrong with it.....I think I may give her one for Christmas and see what happens....stay tuned :)

Typical of me

If you knew me in real life you wouldn't be surprised that I bailed on blogging daily. I am the woman that has a huge basket of yarn that needs to be knitted, an abundance of beautiful fabric that is dying to be cross-stitched and a virtual library of books that I will get around to reading. I am a major procrastinator and I get nutsy if I start something and don't have time to finish it..which almost always happens. I am also a planner. I can plan on cleaning the bathroom, bedroom etc and even make a list of what needs to be done but yet I find myself making more lists than actually accomplishing the tasks. I am not lazy, I just am not focused unless it is a task that is making me cash...you know, like working. Last night I had a phone call from a neighbor that I haven't really talked to in about 3 years. There was no falling out or anything, we just hardly ever see each other except for the occasional wave from the mailboxes or bump into each other in the checkout line at the grocery store. She called out of the blue and left a message saying she had to ask me something. I assumed she was looking for someone to watch a dog, or something of that nature (since S2 and S3 both perform tasks for neighbors with the expectation of filling the little piggy banks if lucky). So when I called her back imagine my surprise when she invited me to lunch with 3 other ladies. I was so excited. I felt like I got picked to go with the cool girls to THE party that everyone wants an invitation to. Two of the ladies are new neighbors and the other one has lived here for about 2 years and we get along famously so I thought this would be fun....and it was. I laughed, talked, ate great lasagna and seriously didn't want to go home. The only thing that was a bit weird is that we are at completely different stages in our lives. I sat there wondering if it would be rude to ask them how old they were (the two newbie neighbors) because I am guessing I am probably closer to their mothers ages. They were chatting away about nap times etc and I have been thinking about how we are going to pay for S1's tuition next semester. The one thing that is universal though was our discussion about husbands..it made for quite a bit of laughter. When we were leaving they asked for my email address so I guess they didn't hate me...and...they invited me to the next lunch next month--yippee, I may be getting a life~

Happy Birthday

Yesterday was S1's birthday. Outwardly we celebrate it like any other birthday -the birthday person gets to pick dinner, either made by me or in a restaurant (yes, when they were young there were occasions we had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a side of potato chips-yum)But, S1's birthday brings with it a little extra. There is a presence that is very prominent in my thoughts each November 10th. His birth mother. I truly have no idea how she must feel each November 10th. Last year, I found her. The adoption was a closed adoption so the chances of us ever making contact were very slim. (I posted about it with a posted entitled "Google rocked my world" if you care to read the whole story). Last night when we got home from our steak dinner (S1 had better land a terrific job someday, this kid has very expensive tastes!) I hopped online with my alter-ego screen name and sent her a brief note thanking her for her completely selfless decision 19 years ago. I think I am more stunned now than I even was then that she was able to hand this wonderful baby over to a couple not knowing us, not knowing if we were going to be good parents. I had to be tremendously difficult. We have exchanged a few emails in the past year, not much but enough that she feels she made the right decision even after all these years. She respects the fact that S1, at this time, had no desire to connect with her. Instead of being hurt, she thinks it is wonderful that he is so comfortable that he isn't longing to meet her. She has gone on to marry and have 4 children..sounds very happy and is someone that I can't even begin to thank. I think I love this woman.

SPANK ME

I know, I know, I missed day #5 of a month of postings. I could tell you that it was because I was finding a cure for world hunger, or climbing a mountain but really I was just arguing with an obnoxious 17 year old MALE. I put that in upper case because I believe it is pertinent to this post.

Here is the scenario.....I was sitting at my computer perusing all your wonderful blogs when S2 walks in with an attitude. I could smell it. He plops himself down on the couch in my office and begins a tirade of "why do you and dad--blah, blah, blah...". I sat there listening politely. Not once interrupting. He ranted on and on about how we have "no good reason" to deny him being with his friends on a nightly basis....now, mind you till this point I HAD NOT EVEN SAID ONE WORD. He continued with the old standby.."none of my friends parents have a problem with them being out every night" (then your friends parents suck--not said, but thought). When he finally took a breath I asked if I could say something at this point. I then calmly (and without a smirk I might add) mentioned that all his friends probably had grades that warranted them a few more privileges, they maybe kept their rooms a bit cleaner, helped around the house a bit more and were basically not obnoxious shits--ok, I didn't really say that part out loud but I was close.

Anyway....this tirade lasted for so long that my eyes were crossed by the end. I know that much if it was hormone fueled and peer pressured but as I sat there it occurred to me that in 5 months, by all legal standards he will be considered an adult. Folks, I hate to tell ya but 18 is no where near an adult.

This morning he was back to his sweet loving self and I slept peacefully with the help of a lovely little pill that I am going to keep on hand at all times from now on. In fact, I may take them several times a day in large doses since S3 is only 13 and I have years of this shit ahead.

OH--and for all of you that were wondering what I did about the lamp shade....I called the Wally-Mart and talked to the manager on duty, offered my credit card number so they could charge me and as I suspected he would say, he told me to forget it, that it was his cashiers error and thanked me for being honest~ but truthfully I think he sounded stunned that I had even bothered to call. So my conscience is clear and I have a cute little lamp...all is right with the world.

Day 4 of a month of posts

I don't know if I am going to be able to pull off this daily posting. I am very boring and not sure if I have anything of value to share that frequently. OH--and the time change thing...whose idea was it anyway? It always screws me up for a few days. I guess I am not the only one tired. I am taking this guy and heading upstairs...though I hate to wake him :)

Taking a poll

Okay..moral dilemma here. S1 is home for the weekend. Before he left for work today he gave me a laundry list (also some real live laundry) of things he needed back at school. Since he is heading out right from work tomorrow I had to go today to spend more money than I have in the checking account so I whipped out the old trusty credit card and headed over to Wally-Mart on the other side of town. I threw in the stuff he needed, workout wear, paper products, shoe inserts, and about $40.00 worth of other useless crap. Since everyone knows when you are using a credit card, it isn’t really money so I thought, "what the hell, I will get a few things for me while I am here". I am a candle freak and have one burning almost all the time so I found a delicious smelling vanilla one, then stumbled upon this cute little lamp for my office desk. I have been using an old one that I dug out of a closet and the shade doesn’t really fit so I thought this new one would be great. I then found a leather shade that I plopped on the lamp and it was a perfect look. Now fast forward to this evening. Because some of the things are for the office they are tax deductible so when I was filing the receipt I was marking off the things that could be deducted and saw that the check out boy…you know the one, he has the 3 eyebrow piercings, a tongue stud, and wears the spiked dog collar around his neck, the one with the lovely shade of black fingernail polish ..yeah, that guy…..he didn’t charge me for the shade. Since it went down the conveyer belt ON the lamp he probably thought it was all one item. So, do I go back over and tell them that I accidentally stole a shade and pay for it? (I have no idea what it cost but probably in the $8-$15 range if that even makes a difference). Had I just pitched the receipt I never would have even known about it but now that I do, I should probably do the right thing but then I think there are probably times where I was overcharged and not noticed. So, I am taking a poll…what would you do?

out to dinner

Now I know how our turkey feels on Thanksgiving morning..stuffed like I am right now. Honestly I can't remember the last time I was in a restaurant...I seriously think it was back in July when we were on vacation. We went out tonight because all the boys were here for the first time in awhile and wrangling everyone to be at the same place at the same time is not an easy task..oh and also because we had a gift certificate to use from a wonderful family that thanked us for doing something that we enjoyed doing for them so it was almost like we got "paid" for doing something nice...which I guess makes it doubly nice for us :) I undid my pants about 1/2 way through the meal so I could eat even more. Gluttony suits me well. I had forgotten how great it is to eat food that tastes nothing like the stuff I make. I used to love to cook until my dwellers started complaining about things...you know..."whats that green stuff in there", "this tastes weird", "do we have any peanut butter".. so I quit experimenting with fresh wonderful ingredients and stuck with the crap that comes in freezers and boxes. Now please excuse me while I go lay down and listen to my arteries harden.

Do I HAVE to post??

I was reading some of my favorites today and was surprised to note that apparently since I have a blog I am required to post every day this month. I was trying to think about what I could possibly have to say that could make up 30 posts but I think I am going to give it a try.

Today's post isn't really going to be poetic or terribly intelligent. I thought I would post a picture and ask for advice. I have lost a couch cushion...do you have any idea where it might be?

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I think he ate it. None of us can figure out how this cat became such a porker. He eats very little but on the other hand, the only time he moves is when he waddles from wherever he is sleeping to the next spot where he is going to nap. We have had him since he was a teenie little guy, having brought him home from a lady that was giving kitties away from her shopping cart. Now he is about 6 and he is still afraid of any noise that doesn't emanate from him. The only time he will go near BigD is when we are in bed. He will get up with us and purr so loudly that it is actually funny, he snuggles with the other cat and also the dog, but if BigD gets up, the cat scurries and hides. Watching him run is one of the funniest things I have ever seen..he crouches down so low that his belly slides along the floor. . None of us have every given him any reason to be afraid of us at all. When the house is quiet he loves us and especially loves his brother animals. My question to you is what in the heck can we do to help him lose weight? The obvious answer is to feed him less but he eats very little as it is now. Our other cat is on a special dry Purin* for cats with urinary problems so that is what this one eats too. I have tried feeding them separately with this one getting a low calorie food but they steal each others food so I gave up because I didn't want the other one to go into kidney failure. OH..and on top of all that...his meower is broken. It has never worked. The poor little guy will try and try to make a sound but it is a pathetic little peep of a noise. So help me out...I am counting on you because I don't think Je**y Cr*ig or Wei*ht Watc*ers accepts feline clients.

My life

Wow…now that Jenna gave me a shout out I feel like I have to write something incredibly inspiring or thought provoking. This is not easy for me. While at times I can be delightfully witty and charming, a good portion of my life is spent in the whirring of thoughts that spin through my brain. I have opinions on just about everything and while that can be a good thing, it can also be confusing. I think my life was more destined to be a UN ambassador because I am one of those annoying people that can usually see both sides of an argument, with the exception of my arguments with BigD, because then I am right and he is always wrong. In looking back over my life so far I am sometimes amazed at the amount of struggles I have overcome. If I were to watch a lifetime movie of my life I would walk away thinking that it was a fabrication of a writers imagination. There are so many things that just seemed insurmountable at the time and yet, here I am, alive and kicking to tell you about these events. I just don’t know where to start. My early years were spent in a very violent home. I was adored by my mother but she had her own struggles. My father was a very abusive alcoholic and when he was around nothing was stable. There are 3 times that I know I should have died because of him. Actually his feelings toward me were rather indifferent. I was more of a pawn in the game he played in terrorizing my mom. When I was 5 mom decided that she couldn’t take it any more and divorced. This was not an easy thing for a woman in a small, very Catholic, town (think seminary school, Catholic university, large mother house (this is where the nuns lived), and just about everything Catholic you can imagine. My grandmother went to mass every morning at 5 am her entire life. Even after they took her keys away, she used the one she had hidden to drive herself. As you can imagine a divorce was a scandal then (the early 1960’s) in that town. One of the reasons that I refer to myself as a "recovering Catholic" is because of the way the church handled the abuse my mom was suffering. At one visit with her priest, asking for help, with a broken arm, a body covered with bruises and a heart broken, she was told "this is your cross to bear" by her church counsel. She walked away, helpless. The defining moment that caused mom to divorce was the time that my father had beaten her and I was in the house. I walked into the kitchen and saw my mother, lying on the floor, there was blood, and my father standing over her. I remember it as though it happened this morning. At that moment, she wasn’t afraid of what people thought any longer, her only thought was to protect me from such horrible sights in the future. After word got around that she was divorcing, people told her they couldn’t believe she had stayed married so long. If she had known she had their support, she may have divorced him earlier. In those days, domestic violence was not talked about. It was kept behind closed doors and nobody interfered, though they knew what was going on. I often wonder what course my life would have taken had someone reached out to my mom years before. But then again, I probably wouldn’t have been born so life apparently worked out the way it was destined. There are stories of abuse, kidnapping, and terror all in my little girl life. If any of the things that happened were to happen to a child today, the father would be in jail. I have too many memories to put into one post but the most vivid were the times he took me for a court ordered weekly dinner visit and we would end up 150 miles from home, at his families house, where he would dump me on cousins and aunts that wanted nothing to do with me, and would disappear to the local pub. I never felt welcome in his family’s home. I was always left to sit by myself and wait for him to return. To a child, those hours were like years. On one of the most memorable visits, I was to be returned home by 8 pm and that was when we were well into our drive to upstate New York. Finally at midnight, on our way home, my father decided he needed another one for the road. We stopped at an obscure bowling alley somewhere between where we were and my home. I was ordered to sit and wait till dear dad came out of the bar for me. I had finally had enough and mustered up all my courage to go to the phone and try to call my mom. This was back in the day where you could call the operator and tell her who you wanted to talk to and she could place the call and would wait on the line till your call was answered. When my mom answered, I told her I wanted to come home, I was crying, and now as an adult, I can only imagine the terror she was feeling. She asked me if there were any women near me and told me to go get one. I found a lady changing her shoes ready to leave and she came to the phone and spoke with my mom. I couldn’t really understand what they were talking about but just then my father appeared from the bar and grabbed the phone from the kind lady. There were very angry words exchanged and the ride home was terrifying. My father was drunk, the roads were winding and very dark and he was very angry. Later I found out that was the night that my mom decided that she would never let me leave with my father again. She called the court the next day and his visitations were stopped. I honestly think the saddest part of the whole story is that my father was a very handsome, incredibly intelligent man that built and lost several businesses because of alcohol. Well…I have no idea where that all came from this morning but there you have it. A small snippet of my life’s beginnings and I managed to survive and thrive even with all the ghosts in my past. There are more stories that I will post off and on but for now, I have to return to work.

A tidy dozen things about me

Well I guess I freaked out some blogger friends because I was a bit surprised about the lack of comments on my last post. Anyway...I have decided to further alienate you by telling you a bit about myself. I have always been a bit jealous when I see other bloggers getting tagged for things. I feel like the last kid picked for the cool team in gym class. Since nobody has asked, here are a few tidbits about what make me ....well... me. 1) I am a worrier. I worry about things that I have absolutely no control over so it really is a waste of time but I can't stop it. 2) I talk to my animals like they understand what I am saying...because they do. 3) When I am watching TV I don't always look at the actors in the scene. If there is a crowd scene or city street background I am scanning the sights instead of automatically looking at the actors speaking. 4) I hate walking on wet grass with bare feet. Actually I hate stepping in ANYTHING wet (except the shower of course). 5) I never drank coffee till I was 47. One day I was driving with S1 and we stopped at McDonalds and he got a cappuccino. It smelled so good I tried it and loved it. Now I am a drinker of Hill's Bros. French Vanilla/Fat Free cappuccino at least once a day, sometimes twice. 6) I don't drink the coffee when I first wake up. I have to drink a cold drink first thing, even when it is cold outside. It is either Peach Sna@@ple or Lipt@n green tea, citrus flavor. 7) The little inserted cards in magazines drive me crazy. When I get a magazine I go through and rip them out. 8) When I was a kid I was certain that I wanted 13 kids. Yeah I was crazy. 9) I also thought that if I accidentally swallowed a watermelon seed I would grow a watermelon in my stomach (see, I even worried when I was a kid) 10) As an adult I have realized that I had ADD as a kid. I completely zoned out in school and I wonder what my grades would have been like had ADD meds been around back then. ( I NEVER opened a book or did any homework in high school and managed C's but I will NOT EVER admit this to my kids). 11) It really pisses me off when people identify my kids when saying something stupid like "she has 3 kids, one is adopted" WTF...they are ALL my kids you asses. 12) I wish blogging had been around when I was younger. I wouldn't have felt so isolated when we were going through the IVF crap or adoption wait. Well...there are a dozen things about me. I will stop now, leaving you begging for more.

One childs story

This post is the one that I have gone back and forth about posting. The post itself it written by a fellow student in S1 college lit class. The assignment was to get to know something interesting about your subject and then write a paper. S1 opened up about his medical struggle and honestly I was floored. I have not changed anything below except everywhere the student placed S1's name, I have replaced it with ++++ to protect his identity. The reason I have hesitated about posting S1's condition is because there are many of you that read this that are in the midst of TTC or adopting and honestly, I didn't want this to freak you out. Even though this condition has NOTHING to do with either, I didn't want to add fear to your already strained worried minds. This post will also show you why I feel so incredibly guilty at times for not knowing something was wrong sooner. We really thought S1 was imagining. He is frighteningly brilliant, extremely witty, very artistic, and has a very old soul. From the time he was very very young he has had the soul of someone that should have lived long ago. He has always far surpassed his peers on so many levels that at times he had trouble making friends. He would get frustrated if the kids weren't playing fair or if someone couldn't remember the rules. He is also a killer at Mon*ply. Nobody has ever beaten him..ever. So ---with all that said, here is S1's story as told by a fellow student in a writing assignment. (I will also add a little addendum at the end). ++++ seems like a normal kid. Well, aside from telling people he loves them and to meet them in his room after class. That’s a little creepy. Besides that though, he is a typical college kid. Goes to class, parties on the weekends, has a job. But people do not know about the battle he waged with his mind when he was a kid. One that haunted him for years until it almost beat him, had him pinned up against the wall with nowhere to go. To tell this heroic tale, I need to take you back to when ++++was seven years old. That’s when it all started.In the movie “The Sixth Sense”, Halle Joel Osmet saw things that no one else could see. Dead people. Everywhere he went. This is what ++++went through. Whenever he would go to bed at night, people came into his room. They would walk around, act crazy and belligerent, and scare little ++++. The problem was, these people weren’t real. No one else could see them because they were in ++++head. It started out as a few people just walking around aimlessly in ++++room, but every night more and more people started showing up. They had twisted faces, evil sneers, and eventually they would try to attack ++++. One night, one of these “people” hit ++++in the face. This was one of the reasons that ++++slept in his parent’s room until he was twelve. His parents just thought that he was having nightmares, bad dreams. They didn’t realize the extent of the problem. When ++++would tell them about the people, they would tell him that it was all in his head, he was imagining it. It was in his head, but they didn’t think or know that he had an actually medical condition. ++++wouldn’t find this out for years, but he was bi-polar. The years passed, and ++++learned to live with his condition. He would sleep in the day, watch TV. at night to avoid his “friends.” Once he got the hang of it he thought that it wasn’t that bad. He thought he had it under control. He made a routine of sleeping after school, doing his work at night, and eventually he never saw the people and could sleep at night without being disturbed by his own mind. That was until they came out of hiding and into the daylight. ++++was now a sophomore in high school. It had been almost ten years since he first saw the people in his room. He had just gotten his driver’s license, and was heading home from work on the highway. He was a cautious driver. Keeping his distance from the car ahead of him, following the posted speed limit, checking his mirrors. He was looking in his rearview mirror when he saw them. The twisted faces. The people were following him and they were gaining on him fast. ++++couldn’t believe it. He thought he had gotten over them, thought he had beat them, would never see them again. He was wrong. The people were coming up fast so ++++put the pedal to the metal and started zooming down the highway. The once cautious driver was weaving in and out of lanes at one hundred thirty five miles an hour. The people still kept up. When he made it home, he turned around, expecting a confrontation with the people. But they were gone, nowhere to be found. ++++was confused, frustrated, scared that they would come back. He knew that if he didn’t do anything about this, maybe he’d be safe for now, but one day the people would come back. It could have been that day; it could have been 10 years down the road. ++++didn’t want to live in fear, never knowing where the people would show up. So he told his parent the full extent of these “nightmares” and they took him to the doctor. He was diagnosed with being bi-polar, and was prescribed medicine. Now the people are dead, and ++++can live his life without having to look over his shoulder. Well...there you have it. I just wanted to clarify one thing. One physician also suggested that instead of bipolar this may be a variant of autism. With all the talk in the news lately regarding the increasing evidence of Autism in our children, I have been doing alot of reading and personally I am leaning more toward one of the Autism spectrum disorders than I am bipolar disorder but in any case S1 is my son and I love him more than life itself.

A kid with a sense of humor that makes me old

This is just another little tidbit that adds to the wrinkles in my face and the rate at which I am aging. All the boys are usually fairly up front with me (not so much with BigD--cause, well, he carries a gun:) and there are times they will tell me things and say..."hey mom, don't tell dad". Shit. If they only knew how that puts me in an awkward position but I would rather they keep telling me things so I have to weigh my knowledge of their errors and decide which ones are "tell worthy" (similar to sponge worthy for you Seinfeld fans). Yesterday S2 was telling me a story about something he did. It was a year ago. (I said they tell me, I DIDN'T say it was instant). I have decided not to share it with BigD but the entire internet world..well, thats ok. Last year S2 had alot of trouble in school. He has some ADD issues but hates the way the meds make him feel so I don't force him to take them (my decision folks...yell at someone else). There are times when he takes them but he isn't consistent. Anyway, he had one class last year that was a real bear for him. The dreaded chemistry. (a bit of history here...it was the only class I ever failed) Sooo he is a bit like old mom in this area. Well he knew that things were snowballing into an F and a period of being grounded, no driving, no friends and heaven forbid no eleventh finger known as the beloved cell phone. S2 is a good looking kid, fun, loves to laugh and fortunately doesn't really know that he could get away with A LOT more than he does. People love him. Women love him. Bosses love him. Teachers love him. He lights up a room when he walks in, the only problem is sometimes that light is blinding to his common sense. When walking into his dreaded chemistry class last year, he saw there was a sub teacher that day and his little wheels started turning. He politely said good morning like a good boy, but he said it with a perfect British accent. It took him only an instant to decide that he was going to be British that day. This poor teacher spent the entire class thinking S2 was an exchange student and the thing that kills me...not one kid in that class blew his cover!! He even told the sub that he was excused from the scheduled exam that day because his class over in London was a bit behind. She then sent him to a desk in the back to listen to his Ipod. For those of you wondering..he never did take that test and this could explain why his final grade was horrible. Fortunately he didn't need that class as a grad requirement having taken all his sciences already but it sure didn't help his GPA. There are days when I just want to strangle him ~then there are days when I really wish I could hang out with him because he makes me laugh so hard.

follow-up

Hi All...I just wanted to pop in and say thanks for all your nice comments....it really is funny how people that I only know from blogworld can make me feel better.



S1 is fine. He had a very eye opening experience and at this point swears that it won't happen again. He was very humilated and humbled by his behavior and the consequences that followed. Lets hope he still feels that way 6 months from now.



We did find out a few more details than we originally knew (from people that witnessed the event) and it involved large amounts of vomit, nakedness (after an attempt at a sobering up shower-towels were lost between the bathroom and dorm room and a female security personnel got an eye full..S1 is mortified :) His blood alcohol content was higher than we originally heard and wasn't even drawn till he had been done drinking for 3 hours..UGH. He still doesn't remember much, friends have been filling in the details and each detail that is added is like salt in a wound to him so I have hopes that he got this out of his system early in his college days and can now concentrate on getting a great education so he can become very well employed and set me up in a great retirement!



I have always been very open and honest with my boys...I just hope he never asks me if I ever did that in college...sometimes a mom has to lie ;)



I also just had to post this photo..this dog really has it made. What you can't tell in the photo is that the cat is kneading his back..the darn dog was getting a massage and this whole thing lasted at least 10 minutes...whoever said dogs and cats are enemies, has never been to our house..(OH, and yes I know this cat is massively obese, so don't scold me. We have NO idea why he is so fat, he doesn't eat any more than our other normal sized one!)

parenting is forever

This may be a long post, and it may ramble a bit, but I have to say what is going on in my heart and head this morning. It is one of those feelings where you feel if you don't get it out, you just might explode. Early this morning, around 1:40 am, our phone rang. That by itself is heart stopping when all of your children are not at home tucked safely into bed. BigD answered and quickly sat up and started talking in his "professional" voice. There is nothing worse than only being able to hear one side of a phone conversation and hearing the words, "unconscious", "ambulance", "hospital" coming out of your husband. His voice that is usually incredibly strong, became a higher pitch, and took on a very worried tone. After a series of questions BigD was asking the person on the other side of the line, I was able to piece together that Son #1 was taken from his dorm where he was found lying in the hall, in his pajamas, confused, disoriented, unaware of who he was or what was wrong. One of his floor mates called for help and the campus police and ambulance were dispatched. The caller was the campus police officer and he told BigD that he didn't think son was drinking that it seemed more like a medical problem-hence the transport to the ER. Husband and son #2 (who woke up when he heard me scrambling for an insurance card and SSN for the ER) took off for the hospital near the college which is about 45 minutes from here. (the only reason I didn't go was that BigD knows his way around all things police and ER related so I knew he could get all the important info and the fact that son#3 was blissfully sleeping and waking him would serve no purpose so I stayed home). Let me tell you, until BigD called about an hour later, I was a series of emotions from terrified, to nauseated from the adrenaline. When BigD called he said son 1 was talking and seemed to be somewhat oriented. On the medical end his blood sugar was very low and they were concerned about that. I had spoken with son1 around 9 pm when he was eating a steak sandwich with double meat (ahhh-campus restaurant food) and seemed fine. There is something about S1 that I have never really posted about because so many of my blog buddies are adopting and I didn't want our story to frighten them away from the most wonderful time in their lives. S1 has a medical condition that ironically didn't show up till he was older and I am so glad that it didn't. Honestly as a potential adoptive mom, had they told me my child would have this disorder, I would have been terrified and I am sure it would have changed the way that I parented him...but as they say, ignorance is bliss so we knew nothing until later..the same as MANY birth parents so I am not "blaming" anything on the fact that S1 is adopted..he is our son, just like the other two..no difference. Anyway--S1 takes a couple of medications to keep him on a constant level so to speak and my guess was that he probably wasn't taking the medication. Then the bombshell. BigD called about 3 am to inform me that son was shit faced drunk. He was able to SOMEHOW not give any indication of intoxication. Even the seasoned police officer was clueless. S1 had a blood alcohol level of .231 (HUGE). He is a scrawny 140 pound kid and it is amazing that he wasn't in serious condition. He confessed to BigD that after he talked to me he went with a group from his evening class and they all celebrated their good grades with a fruity punch that 'someone' made. No idea who made it or what was in it. I have a friend that has talked to her daughter about roofies etc being placed in drinks...I never gave a thought to tell son not to drink anything that wasn't his. (Before you yell at me, I HAVE told him not to drink at all but I am not stupid and I was no angel in college...though he doesn't know that). I am so torn this morning. I am angry, sad, confused, disappointed, worried and the worst feeling of all is that somehow I feel like I let my son down. In my next post, I am going to post a journal entry that a classmate wrote about son1. It was an assignment that had them interviewing each other about something that changed their lives....son1 doesn't know that I read these entries but since they are to publish it in a blog type format, I have access and have been blown away by some of his entries. This particular entry will explain to you why I feel like I have let him down. I just hope he knows how much of my world revolves around my love for him. Nobody ever said parenting was so damn hard...or if they did, I didn't listen.

Life is short

I saw this video (it is short, about 4 min) and I really really want this guy to live. Some things hit you when you aren't expecting to be hit...this was one for me. http://video.aol.com/video/video-category/1973821

DO THIS

Hey all---everyone has at least ONE story about their in-laws that they need to get off their chest. Head over to this blog and post your best one--even the best inlaws are outlaws sometimes. http://inlawssuck2.wordpress.com

Really bad watchdog-free to good home

Please note the dog pictured below really really sucks as a watchdog.

While we were sleeping peacefully last night(including the lazy K9 above) S2 was the recipient of a very loving tradition of TP'ing. For those of you that are not aware of the tradition it is when a group of jovial youth purchase roll upon roll of toilet paper and decorate your home in the festive manner shown below.

The actual finished product is much more grand than I can show you here (at the risk of displaying photos of my house, but trust me there wasn't a bush left unwrapped). But let me tell you that S2 knew who did this and found out they used 48 rolls of toilet paper....thats A LOT of TP. Last night there was a girls team sleepover at one of the girls houses. S2 is very popular with the ladies and they all thought it would be fun to give him a day outside cleaning up--thanks girls. But as for Harley, having failed miserably to alert us...he will be spending some time in the naughty chair later today.

Feeling cold and other rants

I woke up freezing this morning. BigD stole the covers once again and Harley had decided that sleeping on my bed is waaay more comfortable than under the bed where he has been sleeping. I am sure it is because he was freezing too. I think if BigD could somehow steal Harleys fur he would have taken that too.

Actually I had a pseudofight with BigD last night as I was falling asleep. He came home po'd that S2 was at work--at a JOB--because he has missed school yesterday. He was mad that I let him go to work. Ok,...on the surface if you don't know the circumstances I could think he might be right. BUT, S2 only has to go for a few classes since this is his senior year and he has taken all of his requirements and he is home every day by noon. In the morning he woke up with what I will politely call, the grumbellies, (for those of you that have no idea what that is, it is a serious case of the shits) and because nothing is worse than having to bolt from class to have diarrhea in a gross high school bathroom, I let him stay home to be near our pristine toilet. By late morning he was feeling better (ie:empty), but the only class he would have been able to attend at that point was art. Nothing against you lovely artists but I thought missing one class probably wouldn't alter his life plans, so I let him stay home.

Now, he didn't need to work till 7 pm so from noon till 7 he chilled around here with me and took it easy and since my thinking is that his employer is counting on him being there, it is his responsibility to go, I let him go to work, honestly without much thought. BigD is of the mind that if you miss school you are grounded to home for the next 24 hours as a punishment. You know the old story of "wheniwasyourageinevermissedschoolforanyreasonanddamnityouhavetogo" blah blah blah. We completely disagree on this point.

God, I just realized I married my father-in-law.

Anyway, BigD (today the D stands for dickhead not darling) comes in ranting at me as I was falling asleep (he was at an outing for the day) that S2 has "no business out running around" HUH? apparently he didn't hear me say he was at WORK, so I repeated and he still says--and I love this... "what if one of his principals saw him working after he wasn't at school today"...I was momentarily stunned into silence then managed a very articulate "WHAT"? Now to really appreciate how ridiculous that is let me tell you that he has over 2500 kids in his school and there are 4 principals and I am sure none of them even know who S2 is much less would care where he was at 7 o'clock on a Friday night....especially since he was at WORK and not out getting hammered at some aftergame party.

Sometimes this marriage thing really sucks.

On a brighter note, today was a beautiful day. I live a part of the country where the weather gets very cold and changes from day to day this time of year and it is only a matter of time before the snow flies. Today was spectacular. I actually closed the office and took one of my magazines outside and relaxed on the hammock. I felt guilty for about 10 minutes then the other 50 minutes I was totally guilt free and had to force myself back inside. I took time to actually look at all my dying plants and remembered that I had taken pix of them a month or so ago so I will post for your viewing pleasure the following photos of what my flowers looked like before these 40 degree nights have sapped the beauty from them.

An example of my life OR do boys ever grow up??????

Yesterday was the home opener of the Cleeeevland Browns vs the Pitttttsburg something and S1 was invited to go....great seats...fun times ahead. S1 watches sports but has really never participated as he is more cerebral than physical. Anyway, about an hour before he was leaving he decided to hit the local clothier for some team apparel. He found a jersey, a hat and a bright orange ski mask. (the teams colors are orange and brown). Since it is 78 degrees here, raining and humid he knew he wouldn't need the ski mask until a later autumn game, but he has a rather wry sense of humor so he bought it anyhow. Here comes the "I am a stupid 18 year old" part..he put the mask on, with the hat over the top and drove home through a couple of neighborhoods, waving at people and yelling "go Brownieeees". When he came through the door dressed in his festive attire we had a little chuckle and shook our heads because, well, he was just being himself.

About 5 minutes after he got home, while he was waiting for his ride, a police cruiser pulled into the drive. Since BigD knows most of the officers in the area, I was certain that one was stopping by for something regarding work...welllllll it seems someone saw a masked crazy person driving down their street, took down the licence number and called the police. Hmmm, seems as though they were afraid that a store had just been knocked off by this orange hooded person. When the officer came to the door, knowing Big D, he was pretty certain that the car that came back to this address PROBABLY wasn't carrying a thief...just a stupid 18 year old boy/man. Sadly, this is the type of thing that happens routinely in this family. Do you think therapy would help?

Goin postal with 1 update below, and the conclusion

If any of you are mail carriers, married to a mail carrier or even like mail carriers you may as well stop reading right now because I am about to piss you off. I have had issues with mail carriers for a very long time. When we lived in our old house about 3 times a week I got someone elses mail. Our address was 255 and theirs was 225..ok, I can see how a mistake can happen periodically but 3 times a week??c'mon!! When I called the postmaster to see what the problem was he told me, and I AM NOT KIDDING, that sometimes they hire college kids on school breaks..HUH? So he was in essence telling me that college students couldn't read. (and by the way dimwit this isn't limited to times where illiterate students are working) The last time they delivered 225's mail to me it happened to be his tax returns from his accountant...and he is a doctor. SO, I called the beloved postmaster and told him that I am sure Mr. Doctor would not be thrilled to know that all his personal data was delivered to someone else (thankfully me, who would not open it). When he started to give me yet another stupid excuse, I told him that I think from now on I will open all the mail I get without even looking at the address label...after all, it must be mine as it was delivered to MY mailbox. He started ranting that it was illegal blah blah blah and I told him he had better start hiring some carriers that new how to count and could read the alphabet. The problem only slowed down after I talked to Mrs. Doctor and told her how often this was happening and she went ballistic. I love this woman. She ripped the postmaster a new one and after that it rarely happened. Then we moved. We are still "in the city" but not. We now have a rural carrier as we have no sidewalks and the houses are all on about 1 1/2 acres the carrier drives. I thought this would be a much better postal situation until I started getting my credit card bills delivered AFTER they had been opened. Yep, you read that right. They had been opened on the top 1/3 of the envelope, just enough to see the account numbers, amount due or whatever else was in that portion of the bill. The first few times I thought it might be an accident (machine malfunction or whatever) but then I started to get worried. I am obsessive about my personal data and began to get suspicious about our mail carrier "peeking" into my mail. Identity theft is a big concern these days. Well, we have a new postmaster, so when I placed my call about my concern I was sure that it would be met with concern and action from him. Yeah, right. He said he that it was probably an isolated incident (so obviously he wasn't listening to me). I told him that it seemed pretty ironic that NONE of the junk mail was ever delivered partially opened, just the mail with important account numbers or personal data. He had no explanation and chalked it up to "one of those things". And for this we are paying a stupid amount of money for postage. No wonder people don't write any more and are using on line bill paying! Now to get to the reason for my current postal rage. Our character, um, I mean carrier, is an odd duck. He refuses to get out of the truck to deliver a package or anything that won't fit in the standard mailbox. He sits in the driveway honking his horn. This is supposed to bring outside whoever is home to retrieve their mail. (Did I mention that he only has 3 teeth and they aren't even in useful spots--I guess his lack of dentitia shouldn't matter, but it really does round out the whole picture, and I wish I had a picture to share because I cannot adequately describe this individual) Yesterday as I got out of the shower just in time to see him pulling out of the driveway. Usually this would be no big deal but he left a little card telling me he had a certified letter for me ...from a very important client of mine...and I hadn't run out to the driveway naked to get it. Swell. I didn't sleep last night worrying about why on earth this account sent me a certified letter. I am very concerned that they may be changing to EMR and if they are, and I lose that account, I will be asking all of you for donations to fund my chocolate habit. The real kicker though is the standard issue postal service notice he left behind it states, and I quote, "we will redeliver or you or your agent can pick up, available for pickup after 9/6 at 8:30 am". Ok, now bear with me and tell me if I should not be confused. Is my letter on the mail carriers truck for horn honking delivery today, or is it at the local facility for me to pick up? Should I leave or should I stay? I just want to know that the damn letter says!!! I will post an update once I find out where it is and what it says. shit. UPDATE #1 Well I guess now I know the answer of whether it will be redelivered or if I need to drive to the main postal facility to retrieve it. The mail person stopped briefly at the mailbox, deposited two pieces of junk mail and sped off. Now I need to find the main postal facility and retrieve what I hope is not a sweet letter telling me that they love me but don't need me any longer. More to follow. CONCLUSION: I know where 0sam@ is hiding! Or at least I found the perfect spot for him where he would never be found. As it turns out my mysterious, loss of sleep letter, was at the sorting facility (which for those of you that don't know, is not a post office). I had to travel 3 separate deserted roads and finally at the dead end of the last road stood the sorting fortress. After parking I had to ring a buzzer, be checked out through one way glass, and questioned as to my reason for being there, all before the door was buzzed open. (Glad to know that my Targ*t bill is in such secure surroundings. ANYWAY~ after proving I was me I was handed a 9"x6" manila envelope. Since they were waiting to buzz me out of the building I waited till I got to the car to open the envelope. Its contents....two identical booklets outlining the policies and procedures of this care facility along with a letter for me to sign, basically stating that I won't hop online and talk about any of the patients. To really get the irony of this, this facility has been a client for over 3 years and this was never done before. All day long I have access to literally hundreds of patient files and I have never, nor would I ever, talk about anyone to anybody. A good example is when Big D came home and told me his coworker Mr.X had told everyone he has cancer. My response was "what a shame" and not "hey I knew that 2 years ago bucko". This mans cancer had metastasized and he was telling people now. I don't ever discuss any of my work with anyone. In fact many of my friends don't know who my clients are because it is none of their business. I am sure most of you have signed HIPAA papers at your docs offices and that is basically what this states. So, I lost a night of sleep for nothing, they still love me :)

What to do?

We have lived in our home for 16 years and had a few neighbors come and go. From the time S2 (son#2--the boys will be referred to as S1, S2, S3 from now on:) was a very little guy he could be found running from our house to the next door neighbors house. They were very nice people with 2 daughters, the oldest being the same age as S2. As families we didn't socialize outside of being friendly neighbors and the occasional grill out on the deck. Mom is a very high ranking executive at a large corporation and dad has a similar position in a different company. (this isn't the reason we didn't spend alot of time together, we just had different life priorities) For awhile, when I was between careers, I did home daycare for other working moms. It was ideal for me as I was able to stay home with my kids and also able to make some money helping other moms that needed a safe, happy place for their kids. Most of the kids I watched had moms that worked part time (though there was an occasional one that felt my role was to raise their children but that is another whole post sometime) and it was a perfect blend of me having what they needed. Frequently when V's (the little girl that is S2's age) grandparents were away, (they were the ones that watched her while her parents were gone) she would come here and play. S2 loved it...she was his best friend and they spent hours and hours and hours on those day and on weekends running around, building forts, hiding in the bushes with walkie talkies pretending who knows what, skating, riding bikes, and on and on. One night when we were eating dinner I asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up. I was sure she would say she wanted to be important like her mom or a doctor like her grandpa but she got very quiet and said "I want to be a mom like you that can stay at the house" BAM. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This little girl had the best of everything but the one thing she wanted...her mom to be home and do the simple things like bake blueberry muffins. She helped me do that one day and was amazed that you didn't only get muffins from the gourmet market! At the risk of devastating her mom, I never told her what she said. Even if I had it wouldn't have swayed her to stay home, she was very ensconced in her executive roll and lived for it. Well, S2 and V were inseparable when V was at home but the parents decided they wanted to live closer to their employers so they moved when the kids were about 12. While S2 and V kept in touch it was difficult because they were too young for constant phoning etc and this was pre-instant messages and texting so they were pretty much limited to the occasional visit and began to lose touch. Once they reached high school, though in different cities, they regained contact and periodically chatted and got caught up. Well, a few days ago S2 found her on Faceb**k and left her a message. He was a bit caught off guard with how she responded. As it turns out, she is in a relationship with another girl. She is completely confident, athletic, popular (she has tons of photos with friends in her faceb**k, including several photos of her with her girlfriend in some intimate poses). S2 was stunned but quickly recovered and it really doesn't bother him at all. I on the other hand was not stunned as I always suspected even when she was younger that her life would take a different path than a lot of other little girls. It all goes back to the nature/nurture question of sexuality. My personal belief is that you are born the way you are. I do NOT believe one can "turn gay" or be swayed one way or the other...you either are or you aren't. I truly think that if someone could turn their sexuality on and off, nobody would choose to be gay, it is still too hard in this world. People are ostracized for being gay and I can't imagine anyone willingly choosing to be slurred, denied opportunities, told they are going to hell, etc. I am very proud of V for having the courage as a young woman to admit to being different than her peers. It had to be very very difficult and I can only imagine the day she told her parents. With the "perfect family" image they always maintained, this announcement had to be totally shocking to them. I would love to know if they have even told their friends...my guess would be that they have not and that makes me sad.

Back by popular demand

Okay, due to popular demand (from both of you) I am back. I can’t believe it has been a month since I last posted! I have been reading all sorts of blogs and leaving brilliant comments but I have sorely neglected updating my own.

When we last talked I was on vacation…oh, it was wonderful. I did very little except sit on the beach and relax and it was exactly what I needed. You know you are waaaay over stressed when you arrive at the beach on Saturday and don’t completely unwind until Wednesday. Not good. We voted and decided that from now on one week is not enough time away, ten days would be much much better. I also decided that at some point in my life I WILL live directly on the beach and wake each morning with the sound of the waves breaking on the shore. I just hope that it isn't some crappy oceanfront nursing home.

Lets see..well I survived dropping off S1 (son#1) at college. That still seems so weird to me. I honestly don’t feel grown up enough to have a kid old enough for college. (I will decide by the end of his post if I am going to briefly post a photo of us in the dorm room—not sure if I should out myself or not here). Because we got started so late with kids, I have a lot of friends whose kids are out of college and because of our youngest, I have many friends that are in their late 30’s. When I was little I thought that being older would contain some magic that only older people knew but what I didn’t know is that inside, quite frequently, I am still that shy uncomfortable college student myself. I AM much more comfortable with myself at this age though. The one thing that is a cruel joke though is sending a child off to college at the same time that menopause is striking. Yeah it sucks monkey balls. I am way too young for this crap but then again my girlie parts never did act appropriately or on cue!! Not only am I waking up at night with adrenalin rushes that lead to drenching my nightwear with sweat, but once I am awake I lay there and worry about all the things that S1 is going to be faced with at school. He has never been one to cave to peer pressure but it could be because he knew that I would make his life a living hell if he came home loaded or got in trouble et cetera. Now…well, he is on his own for the first time and shit, I know what I was like in college-heaven help me. He did promise me that if he hits the occasional party he would not get into any car, as a driver or passenger. He can sleep in the park if he has to but don’t get into a car. He promised.
Since this is a long weekend, I am hoping that at some point I can take the time to figure out how to put links to all my wonderful blogs that I read. There are so many wonderful stories out there, adoptions, hopeful to adopts, new babies, new pregnancies and even a couple of guy bloggers. I would ask one of my kids how to do it except then they would know how to access my blog and no, no, no, can't have that. I want to be able to reference blogs in my posts when necessary and also have that nice little list off to the side that so many bloggers have. It can't possibly be that complicated but after all, between sweats, I don’t have a lot of free time.

TRAVELIN

We are traveling in a caravan. Sons 1&2 insisted they wanted a road trip, an adventure of sorts so we are at this moment following son 1 who has son 3 in his car while son 2 drives mine. Might I just say that I AM NOT a good passenger, especially when the driver is an overconfident 17 year old that feels that his whole year of driving experience is monumental and has no fear of anything. Please say a little prayer for me that 1) we arrive safely..2) that we arrive safely before I have to smack the snot into submission and 3) the bottle of wine that my friend gave me for my birthday doesn’t break before we reach our destination. I am not even a wine drinker but what the hell, after the first glass I won't care J. We did have an interesting experience last night. When we were going through Winston-Salem, we missed our exit for the next highway we were to take so we hit the next exit to turn around and backtrack ever so slightly to the previous exit….wellllll, we landed in a very, shall we say, TERRIFYING area? I have seen my share of bad areas in cities before but never before have I actually had a RAT meander across the street in front of me. Yes, a real rat, long tail and all. After an initial ewwwwww, I managed to laugh. We have walkie talkies between the two cars so I was trying to calm down son1 (who was actually the one that took the wrong turn). He is a very bright type A guy with a bit of neurotic paranoid when he is presented with the unfamiliar—he needs order and structure to not get rattled). Anyway, we finally got turned around in an incredibly seedy area with some incredibly unsavory characters looking at us like a bunch of lost people from Ohio (oh, yeah, we were) and got back on the road. About 30 miles later we decided to stop for the night and found a place that looked clean and decent. I related the adventure to the desk girl and she looked and me and in her wonderful slow southern drawl said “Oh honey, I am so sorry. That is NOT an area you want to get lost!” She then went on to tell me that one of the reasons the unsavory guys were milling around is that a lot of people get messed up with the way the exits are there and when some poor unsuspecting saps like us roll through the gentlemen step out in front of your car to get you to stop so you won't hit them then they pull out some darling little weapons and ROB you. She literally said “Usually the only way to avoid gittin robbed is to hit them with yall’s car”…she honestly said that with a serious face! One more adventure for the family memory book. We will be at our final destination later today and I will let you know if we manage to have any more little bits of excitement along the way…..

ON THE ROAD--soon

Tomorrow morning the boys and I are headed out to our summer vacation in South Carolina. I am so freaking stressed out right now getting ready to go that I am sure by morning I will have a killer headache. Big D is in another part of the country at a conference so he is flying in to meet us and on Saturday we check into our condo. Saturday is also my 50th birthday. I can't decide if I am excited or disgusted. I plan on donning my tiara that I ordered on Ebay and sailing down the resorts lazy river for most of the day. When I get back I will put up a couple quick photos. On the car damage front.....FINALLY today I got a call from the castle lady...she had contacted her insurance man who in turn contacted me. After getting the details, they told me to go ahead and get an estimate when we get back and go from there. It doesn't sound like they will be giving me a hard time but they did ask if I had a deductable...hmmmm....I don't think that matters as I HAVE NO INTENTION OF PAYING ANYTHING for the damage that was caused by their tree....we will see how the saga unfolds. Now, I am off to finish packing and getting ready to blow out of town....I can't wait to hit the sand!!!!!!! (BTW if any of you are going to be in the North Myrtle Beach area, let me know and I will buy you a fruity drink with an umbrella).

fun times

If you are ever invited to a wedding here~ please go. It is a beautiful setting for an outdoor wedding. But, I want to warn you, don't park under this tree-

or, when you are ready to leave, your car may look like this~

A very large limb came down upon my poor car while we were celebrating with the new bride and groom. (I was going to post a photo I took of the limb lying in front of my car but my license plate was too obvious for web posting-sorry). The photo really doesn't show the damage. there are several HUGE dents in the hood and also on the roof. It missed my sunroof by a couple inches. I am just hoping that the owner of the property is decent enough to pay the repair. This tree should have been taken down long ago by looking at the condition it is in now. Because of the wedding, I had my camera with me and loaded it up with photos to show the owner on Monday.

This place is amazing. It is in the middle of nowhere typically about an hour from our home. If you have a minute, look it up if you are wanting a beautiful spot for a night or two (anniversary, birthday, romantic get-away) http://www.landollscastle.com/. I bet it is beautiful in the autumn. Although,,,,,if the owner turns out to be an unfriendly butt head, I will let you know and will start an online castle haters club.

Last night on the way home I wished I had a computer in my brain so I could blog what I was thinking. Big D took a wrong turn and we ended up about 2 hours from home before he would admit he didn't know where he went wrong. We have been married 26 years and I can honestly count on one hand the number of times he has ADMITTED he was wrong about anything. Now, I am not saying he is never wrong, he is fairly frequently, he just WILL NOT admit it. When we were first married his mom told me that even as a young child he did not take criticism well...yeah, no shit. The hilarious part of last night is that the further we went in the wrong direction the more pissed he got and I sat there not saying a word. Finally he turned to me and said "quit being so mean". I busted out laughing...I had not said one negative word or one word at all for that matter. I have no room to talk. I can't tell you east and west unless the sun is rising or setting...but I ADMIT IT and have no shame. I am fabulous at many things, marco poloing isn't one of them.

Hope you had a good weekend.

catching up

Hi folks! I know I haven’t been here in quite a while but I assure you I have been reading and commenting (some) on all of your blogs. I have been so very very busy here in my little world. Since I last posted several of my lovely blog ladies have given birth, found out they were finally pregnant or are now on the 2 week wait. Their lives and postings are much more interesting than mine so that is why what little free time I have had, I have been reading instead of writing. Let’s see~probably the biggest event was son #1 graduating. He fought us tooth and nail about having a party (he is quiet and has a few friends but isn’t very outgoing so the friends he has are good friends, just not plentiful) but we finally convinced him he had to celebrate his accomplishments…once the party was over and he was opening envelopes he was rather tickled that we talked him into the whole thing! He is more than ready to head off to college,,,me..I am not so sure. I swear it was just a couple weeks ago we brought him home. I used to get so pissed when people would tell me that they grow up so fast..I got sick of hearing that but sadly all those people were right. I don’t know if I ever posted this or not but the social worker that counseled son #1’s Bmom is a very good friend of ours. Believe it or not she had nothing to do with us being picked as the parents. She presented the 5 familys in their domestic program to the young couple and it was just amazing that they picked us. She said her hands were sweating the entire time they were looking at our profile and the 4 other couple’s folders. To this day I don’t think that the Bmom even knows that the social worker is a friend of ours. Honestly we would not even have known about the ONE TIME domestic placement that this agency was doing (they place children from Korea as a rule) had I been suffering silently. My feeling was that the more people that knew that we wanted to adopt the better. In my mind, you have no idea who may have a cousin, neighbor, et cetera that is placing a baby so why not use networking to get the word out. My one piece of advice I give all couples wanting to adopt domestically is to talk talk talk about it to anyone. Even the cashier at your favorite store might have a pregnant sister..who knows!? I really shouldn’t have waited so long to post….too many things have happened and I have forgotten most of them. See what happens when you get old!? I am going to be suffering at the end of the month with a very big birthday. Actually we are going to be out of town because I refused to sit here at home or at work doing the same crap I do every other day of the year. So, I planned our vacation for that week. We will arrive in South Carolina the day before my birthday and on that special day, I will be lazing my way through the lazy river at the resort with a good book, most probably a drink and a beautiful tiara on my head. Yes, you read that right. I ordered a tiara for myself if for no other reason than to completely humilate my children. I can’t wait. So, if you see a slightly overweight woman wearing a tiara floating past you, that would be me. Stop me and say hi! Let’s see..what’s new with the boys? Well I already told you about #1. #2 quit his summer job and started his own business. He is detailing really amazing hot cars. I don’t even like cars but these are pretty amazing. Personally I can't believe how much people are paying him for this but lets just say he is making more in 2 days than he did in a whole week at work, he gets to work his own schedule, take breaks without permission and in general this has made him much nicer to live with. This child is the one that has a zillion friends, can’t go more than 15 minutes without talking to someone on his phone and if he has to miss an event he can slam a door better than anyone. He did find out today that his little donut in the parking lot stunt (see a previous post) is going to continue to haunt him. He was notified that his insurance has gone up—he was horrified. Yep kid, ya do stupid shit and the smell lingers. So, guess that it is a good thing he is making all that money, huh? I mentioned earlier that son #1 is leaving for college—little funny story here. First, let me preface this by saying that we are not racist, homophobic, or any other ist or obic so this is not intended to offend, we just think it is funny. Son was assigned a room-mate that we spoke to on the phone and he seemed nice. Sons good friend spoke to his assigned room-mate and he seemed nice too. But, (isn't there always a but?) he is very very active in gay rights programs, and causes and told friend that their room would probably be a meeting place quite often. Friend was understanding at first then started thinking about a revolving door with little privacy and he decided that it would be best for his studying if he got a room-mate that was a little less involved, like son#1. So, the two of them decided to room together. Great. Both quiet, studious, good match. When son requested the change in rooms he couldn’t believe how simple it went. Then 3 days later he found out that he and friend didn’t switch room-mates, they switched rooms. So, now son #1 is with the activist and friend is with son’s original room mate. Now they need to ask activist room-mate to move so son and friend can room together. Boy will that be an awkward conversation! I love seeing them go through lifes little lessons but it is very hard for me to stand back and not take charge. Well, that leaves son #3 and bigd. Son is enjoying his summer a little too much. What is it with these parents that schedule all these parties for 12 year olds? He is invited to something almost every night. Of course I am such a mean Mom because I restrict his partying. Maybe I am out in left field but I don’t think 12 year olds need to be constantly entertained and driven all over the place. Aside from the fact that I am evil and say “no” a lot, he is having a great summer. That leaves bigd. He is actually a post all by himself. There have been several times since I posted last that I have thought about how great single life sounds –ha! Getting ready for the party was hell. He is a perfectionist and drives all of us crazy. At one point the boys and I were calculating how much mulch it would take to cover him in one of the beds. We didn’t like him much for about a week but he is being sort of human again so he is working his way back into our hearts. Well, enough of this boring drivel for tonight. I plan on posting more frequent and shorter posts, hopefully clever or witty, and maybe with some really cool photos. I am also going to try to learn how to add all of your blogs to a list on the side of my blog and try to snaz it up a bit. Any help is welcome!

more soon

I have been crazed lately, reading blogs but no time for posting. I do have a bunch to say and I will soon but when I was reading T.K.O. earlier today she had a photo there that gave me a flashback and I HAD to post this one of son#1 that I swear was taken at the same place her photo was taken...(although many years apart) so, T.K.O this one is for you.

I will be back...maybe tomorrow.