Crazy week

I PROMISE that this weekend I will get my NYC photos and stories up. Things have been hectic here and in the middle of everything, BigD gets a call from the doctor that something is amiss in his chest. He went in for a physical about 10 days ago, had to ask for a routine xray, lab etc (the lovely insurance company doesn't believe in preventative medicine...don't even get me started.) Anyway, it appears that BigD has the "appearance of pleur.al plaqu.es" in his upper lobes and at the costophr.enic angle. This is not good. Now I get to do battle with big insurance carrier about paying for a C.T-S.C.A.N. If you look up these plaque.s they primarily come from exposure to asbesto.s and can take 20 years after exposure to cause problems.....guess who worked in a county building 20 years ago that was torn down and found to be loaded with the stuff?? Wow, good guess, yep it was my hubby. I refuse to go to the worst case scenario but I am armed and ready for battle to get answers. You don't want to cross me when it comes to taking care of my family...watch out insurance man, you had better eat your wheati.es this weekend.

An example of my life OR do boys ever grow up??????

Yesterday was the home opener of the Cleeeevland Browns vs the Pitttttsburg something and S1 was invited to go....great seats...fun times ahead. S1 watches sports but has really never participated as he is more cerebral than physical. Anyway, about an hour before he was leaving he decided to hit the local clothier for some team apparel. He found a jersey, a hat and a bright orange ski mask. (the teams colors are orange and brown). Since it is 78 degrees here, raining and humid he knew he wouldn't need the ski mask until a later autumn game, but he has a rather wry sense of humor so he bought it anyhow. Here comes the "I am a stupid 18 year old" part..he put the mask on, with the hat over the top and drove home through a couple of neighborhoods, waving at people and yelling "go Brownieeees". When he came through the door dressed in his festive attire we had a little chuckle and shook our heads because, well, he was just being himself.

About 5 minutes after he got home, while he was waiting for his ride, a police cruiser pulled into the drive. Since BigD knows most of the officers in the area, I was certain that one was stopping by for something regarding work...welllllll it seems someone saw a masked crazy person driving down their street, took down the licence number and called the police. Hmmm, seems as though they were afraid that a store had just been knocked off by this orange hooded person. When the officer came to the door, knowing Big D, he was pretty certain that the car that came back to this address PROBABLY wasn't carrying a thief...just a stupid 18 year old boy/man. Sadly, this is the type of thing that happens routinely in this family. Do you think therapy would help?

catching up

Hi folks! I know I haven’t been here in quite a while but I assure you I have been reading and commenting (some) on all of your blogs. I have been so very very busy here in my little world. Since I last posted several of my lovely blog ladies have given birth, found out they were finally pregnant or are now on the 2 week wait. Their lives and postings are much more interesting than mine so that is why what little free time I have had, I have been reading instead of writing. Let’s see~probably the biggest event was son #1 graduating. He fought us tooth and nail about having a party (he is quiet and has a few friends but isn’t very outgoing so the friends he has are good friends, just not plentiful) but we finally convinced him he had to celebrate his accomplishments…once the party was over and he was opening envelopes he was rather tickled that we talked him into the whole thing! He is more than ready to head off to college,,,me..I am not so sure. I swear it was just a couple weeks ago we brought him home. I used to get so pissed when people would tell me that they grow up so fast..I got sick of hearing that but sadly all those people were right. I don’t know if I ever posted this or not but the social worker that counseled son #1’s Bmom is a very good friend of ours. Believe it or not she had nothing to do with us being picked as the parents. She presented the 5 familys in their domestic program to the young couple and it was just amazing that they picked us. She said her hands were sweating the entire time they were looking at our profile and the 4 other couple’s folders. To this day I don’t think that the Bmom even knows that the social worker is a friend of ours. Honestly we would not even have known about the ONE TIME domestic placement that this agency was doing (they place children from Korea as a rule) had I been suffering silently. My feeling was that the more people that knew that we wanted to adopt the better. In my mind, you have no idea who may have a cousin, neighbor, et cetera that is placing a baby so why not use networking to get the word out. My one piece of advice I give all couples wanting to adopt domestically is to talk talk talk about it to anyone. Even the cashier at your favorite store might have a pregnant sister..who knows!? I really shouldn’t have waited so long to post….too many things have happened and I have forgotten most of them. See what happens when you get old!? I am going to be suffering at the end of the month with a very big birthday. Actually we are going to be out of town because I refused to sit here at home or at work doing the same crap I do every other day of the year. So, I planned our vacation for that week. We will arrive in South Carolina the day before my birthday and on that special day, I will be lazing my way through the lazy river at the resort with a good book, most probably a drink and a beautiful tiara on my head. Yes, you read that right. I ordered a tiara for myself if for no other reason than to completely humilate my children. I can’t wait. So, if you see a slightly overweight woman wearing a tiara floating past you, that would be me. Stop me and say hi! Let’s see..what’s new with the boys? Well I already told you about #1. #2 quit his summer job and started his own business. He is detailing really amazing hot cars. I don’t even like cars but these are pretty amazing. Personally I can't believe how much people are paying him for this but lets just say he is making more in 2 days than he did in a whole week at work, he gets to work his own schedule, take breaks without permission and in general this has made him much nicer to live with. This child is the one that has a zillion friends, can’t go more than 15 minutes without talking to someone on his phone and if he has to miss an event he can slam a door better than anyone. He did find out today that his little donut in the parking lot stunt (see a previous post) is going to continue to haunt him. He was notified that his insurance has gone up—he was horrified. Yep kid, ya do stupid shit and the smell lingers. So, guess that it is a good thing he is making all that money, huh? I mentioned earlier that son #1 is leaving for college—little funny story here. First, let me preface this by saying that we are not racist, homophobic, or any other ist or obic so this is not intended to offend, we just think it is funny. Son was assigned a room-mate that we spoke to on the phone and he seemed nice. Sons good friend spoke to his assigned room-mate and he seemed nice too. But, (isn't there always a but?) he is very very active in gay rights programs, and causes and told friend that their room would probably be a meeting place quite often. Friend was understanding at first then started thinking about a revolving door with little privacy and he decided that it would be best for his studying if he got a room-mate that was a little less involved, like son#1. So, the two of them decided to room together. Great. Both quiet, studious, good match. When son requested the change in rooms he couldn’t believe how simple it went. Then 3 days later he found out that he and friend didn’t switch room-mates, they switched rooms. So, now son #1 is with the activist and friend is with son’s original room mate. Now they need to ask activist room-mate to move so son and friend can room together. Boy will that be an awkward conversation! I love seeing them go through lifes little lessons but it is very hard for me to stand back and not take charge. Well, that leaves son #3 and bigd. Son is enjoying his summer a little too much. What is it with these parents that schedule all these parties for 12 year olds? He is invited to something almost every night. Of course I am such a mean Mom because I restrict his partying. Maybe I am out in left field but I don’t think 12 year olds need to be constantly entertained and driven all over the place. Aside from the fact that I am evil and say “no” a lot, he is having a great summer. That leaves bigd. He is actually a post all by himself. There have been several times since I posted last that I have thought about how great single life sounds –ha! Getting ready for the party was hell. He is a perfectionist and drives all of us crazy. At one point the boys and I were calculating how much mulch it would take to cover him in one of the beds. We didn’t like him much for about a week but he is being sort of human again so he is working his way back into our hearts. Well, enough of this boring drivel for tonight. I plan on posting more frequent and shorter posts, hopefully clever or witty, and maybe with some really cool photos. I am also going to try to learn how to add all of your blogs to a list on the side of my blog and try to snaz it up a bit. Any help is welcome!

THE MALE SPECIES

If you are a lover of all things male then you should skip this post as I am about to launch into a tirade about how unbelievably ignorant that particular species can be. A few weeks ago I had an abnormal pap, then another a couple weeks after that. My family physician referred me to a GYN specializing in abnormal testing. I went for what I thought would be a routine get-to-know-you kind of visit yesterday when Dr. Uterus saw the glint in my eye that he correctly interpreted as a patient that would likely cancel 4-10 visits before I actually came back to have any further testing done. Before I knew it, I was letting him see parts that even Big D has never seen. Dr. Uterus is well known for being a rather serious young man and in my opinion seemed very intelligent but not real comfortable with the face to face (he obviously prefers talking to nether regions). Anyway, to lighten things up (and to keep myself from screaming while the inside of one of my organs had chunks removed by some gawd awful equipment) I told him that at least he could have bought me dinner first. I thought the poor boy was going to hyperventilate. He was stunned then laughed very loud. His sidekick nurse looked at me like I had performed a miracle. The ice was broken, along with my cervix and uterus. We had a few more chuckles while he yanked out several chunks of my innards to be sent to Dr. Pathologist to see if we could possibly get the insurance company (because you know they DO rule the world) to allow me to have all these worthless parts removed and free me of all the crap said parts cause. Anyway, on to the tirade. I came home and while not going into specifics of what I had done, I let it be known that I was pretty uncomfortable and was going to take some pain medication (nice to take even without the pain;) and rest. Okay, I did tell them enough that they shouted EWWW and while running out of the room all thanked God that they weren't girls. As I walked in son #2 was staring out the window (insert my thought of him contemplating life and how to stop global warming) and I asked him what he was thinking about. In all seriousness he said that if the wind kept blowing like it is, and it continued to come from just the right direction, like it is, the garbage cans would blow close enough to the house that they might make it to the garage and he wouldn’t have to put them away. HUH? This one, he has a great future somewhere. Son 3# announced that he was going to friend J’s house and asked if I could take care of the neighbors dog (we are dog/house sitting for the hot little poodle next door-the one that prances around her yard in front of our poor ball-less Harley). Um, yeah son #3, I would love to put on boots, a coat, gloves, a hat (did I mention that it is snowing on April 5th?) and trudge next door to DO YOUR JOB THAT YOU AGREED TO DO—the answer is no..do it before you go to J’s house. Son #1 walked in about then to ask me what was for dinner. When I answered "what ever you find to shove in your mouth" he said we didn’t have any good food in the house (ie: cookies, pre-cooked lobster or filet, twice baked potatoes with bacon....this is the kid that will have a very very rude awakening when he arrives at college this fall and has to live on ramen noodles like everyone else :). I then offered to spring for Chinese food. He looked at me and as he turned to walk up the steps to his room he said "let me know when you get home with it". W.H.A.T.? Since we don’t have any places that deliver in our area we need to pick up. Without going into the fact that I called all of them spoiled rotten little snots, son #3 DID go do the pickup. Later in the evening I gathered them all around and asked what they thought they would have to do if I was no longer here…not in a morbid way, I may have said something to the effect of "you know some moms run away from their families and live idyllic lives on warm beaches". I am certain that the two cats and the dog would definitely starve to death, clothes would be worn till they smelled so bad that none of the sons would have any friends left, hairballs and slime would fill the house and all of the family would be sustained on Pepsi and Oreo’s since I wouldn’t be doing the shopping. In case you noticed that I didn’t mention Big D in this equation, he is a post all by himself. Lets just say, he never had any sisters and his mom was the epitome of a June Cleaver clone. He has never had a clue about anything female and probably never will.

I have a brother

I have a brother. I have never really blogged about him because we have a complicated relationship. He is 12 years older than I am and to be truthful we are complete opposites in every aspect of life. He has lived a high rollers life of Aspen in the winter, Vegas in the spring et cetera. The only problem is that he is NOT wealthy, he has just lived as though he were. Now he is sick and has nothing to fall back on. No money, no health insurance and not too many people that want to be around him for any length of time because he can be very obnoxious. It makes me very sad but on the other hand there are so many things that he did or didn’t do that caused him to be like this that it is hard to feel too much sympathy while at the same time, loving him because he is my brother. When our mom was dying he was trying to "score" with his soon to be second ex wife and they hopped a plane, headed to California…she had never been there…and I sat in shock watching our mom die while I was cradling my 6 week old baby that was finally born healthy after the pregnancy from hell. Oh, he DID call every day to ask how she was doing..the conversations went something like this: Him: How is she. Me: Awful. I can barely recognize her. The resident perforated her colon today doing a colonoscopy because they saw a "spot" of blood in her underwear. She has kidney failure, is headed for sepsis, is conscious on the vent and they had to do a fasciotomy in both lower legs so they wouldn’t explode. She is so sick that they may have to open her up to replace the graft they put in last year for her AAA that has become grossly infected because it is synthetic and antibiotics won't help. The ICU nurses are angels sent from heaven and have been doing their best to make her comfortable even confronting some of the docs that have written her off. Him: Okay. Well, let me know if there is anything I can do. Me: Yeah, whatever. Hope you are enjoying your trip. (You worthless motherfucker. I am here watching the woman that has supported you your entire worthless life both emotionally and financially. Don’t worry about stopping by, my C-section barely hurts anymore and son#1 is such a great toddler that he doesn’t even mind that he is spending his days in a hospital waiting room since they have building blocks. ) Okay.. I didn’t actually say that but I wanted to more than you can imagine). Him: Oh, good. I will check in with you tomorrow. Do you think she is really sick? Do you want me to come back east? Me: You do whatever you have to do to live with yourself. (I can’t believe you are even asking..she is our mother you asshole..where else should you be??!!..again thought but not said). At one time I wondered if I was being too hard on him. Maybe he didn’t handle stress well, and when I talked to several friends and Big D, they looked at me like I had lost my mind. None of them could comprehend how his head had gotten so far up his ass. They all knew my mom and what an amazing woman she was. I think before she died my mom summed up my brother in very few words…. "I am starting to see traits of his father in him" . For my mom that was a loaded statement and she was very sad when she said it. (For the record my father was also an asshole. He was a violent drunk and the smartest and bravest thing my mom did was divorce him in a time in history when divorce was not the norm…and she was catholic to boot.) Anyway, what started this whole post is that my brother is sick and has nobody. He has kids that have a very at-arms-length- relationship though they love him. Like I said, it is very complicated. He is too young for Medicare, has no insurance and tons of health problems (some of which can be attributed to smoking, drinking, and lifestyle) and not one doctor will touch him. He has been "dismissed" by more than one doctor…I can't blame them, I am sure they are afraid he will sue if he isn't "cured". He is always looking for a way to make a quick buck and it is obvious. He was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago for nothing life threatening but I had flashes of him going downhill at some point and wondering who would be there for him….even with our complicated history, I wouldn’t hesitate to be there for him, sit with him and be sure he wasn’t alone. Ironically one of his kids lives 15 minutes from him but can't seem to make the time to visit…hmmmm, like father like son??