Goin postal with 1 update below, and the conclusion

If any of you are mail carriers, married to a mail carrier or even like mail carriers you may as well stop reading right now because I am about to piss you off. I have had issues with mail carriers for a very long time. When we lived in our old house about 3 times a week I got someone elses mail. Our address was 255 and theirs was 225..ok, I can see how a mistake can happen periodically but 3 times a week??c'mon!! When I called the postmaster to see what the problem was he told me, and I AM NOT KIDDING, that sometimes they hire college kids on school breaks..HUH? So he was in essence telling me that college students couldn't read. (and by the way dimwit this isn't limited to times where illiterate students are working) The last time they delivered 225's mail to me it happened to be his tax returns from his accountant...and he is a doctor. SO, I called the beloved postmaster and told him that I am sure Mr. Doctor would not be thrilled to know that all his personal data was delivered to someone else (thankfully me, who would not open it). When he started to give me yet another stupid excuse, I told him that I think from now on I will open all the mail I get without even looking at the address label...after all, it must be mine as it was delivered to MY mailbox. He started ranting that it was illegal blah blah blah and I told him he had better start hiring some carriers that new how to count and could read the alphabet. The problem only slowed down after I talked to Mrs. Doctor and told her how often this was happening and she went ballistic. I love this woman. She ripped the postmaster a new one and after that it rarely happened. Then we moved. We are still "in the city" but not. We now have a rural carrier as we have no sidewalks and the houses are all on about 1 1/2 acres the carrier drives. I thought this would be a much better postal situation until I started getting my credit card bills delivered AFTER they had been opened. Yep, you read that right. They had been opened on the top 1/3 of the envelope, just enough to see the account numbers, amount due or whatever else was in that portion of the bill. The first few times I thought it might be an accident (machine malfunction or whatever) but then I started to get worried. I am obsessive about my personal data and began to get suspicious about our mail carrier "peeking" into my mail. Identity theft is a big concern these days. Well, we have a new postmaster, so when I placed my call about my concern I was sure that it would be met with concern and action from him. Yeah, right. He said he that it was probably an isolated incident (so obviously he wasn't listening to me). I told him that it seemed pretty ironic that NONE of the junk mail was ever delivered partially opened, just the mail with important account numbers or personal data. He had no explanation and chalked it up to "one of those things". And for this we are paying a stupid amount of money for postage. No wonder people don't write any more and are using on line bill paying! Now to get to the reason for my current postal rage. Our character, um, I mean carrier, is an odd duck. He refuses to get out of the truck to deliver a package or anything that won't fit in the standard mailbox. He sits in the driveway honking his horn. This is supposed to bring outside whoever is home to retrieve their mail. (Did I mention that he only has 3 teeth and they aren't even in useful spots--I guess his lack of dentitia shouldn't matter, but it really does round out the whole picture, and I wish I had a picture to share because I cannot adequately describe this individual) Yesterday as I got out of the shower just in time to see him pulling out of the driveway. Usually this would be no big deal but he left a little card telling me he had a certified letter for me ...from a very important client of mine...and I hadn't run out to the driveway naked to get it. Swell. I didn't sleep last night worrying about why on earth this account sent me a certified letter. I am very concerned that they may be changing to EMR and if they are, and I lose that account, I will be asking all of you for donations to fund my chocolate habit. The real kicker though is the standard issue postal service notice he left behind it states, and I quote, "we will redeliver or you or your agent can pick up, available for pickup after 9/6 at 8:30 am". Ok, now bear with me and tell me if I should not be confused. Is my letter on the mail carriers truck for horn honking delivery today, or is it at the local facility for me to pick up? Should I leave or should I stay? I just want to know that the damn letter says!!! I will post an update once I find out where it is and what it says. shit. UPDATE #1 Well I guess now I know the answer of whether it will be redelivered or if I need to drive to the main postal facility to retrieve it. The mail person stopped briefly at the mailbox, deposited two pieces of junk mail and sped off. Now I need to find the main postal facility and retrieve what I hope is not a sweet letter telling me that they love me but don't need me any longer. More to follow. CONCLUSION: I know where 0sam@ is hiding! Or at least I found the perfect spot for him where he would never be found. As it turns out my mysterious, loss of sleep letter, was at the sorting facility (which for those of you that don't know, is not a post office). I had to travel 3 separate deserted roads and finally at the dead end of the last road stood the sorting fortress. After parking I had to ring a buzzer, be checked out through one way glass, and questioned as to my reason for being there, all before the door was buzzed open. (Glad to know that my Targ*t bill is in such secure surroundings. ANYWAY~ after proving I was me I was handed a 9"x6" manila envelope. Since they were waiting to buzz me out of the building I waited till I got to the car to open the envelope. Its contents....two identical booklets outlining the policies and procedures of this care facility along with a letter for me to sign, basically stating that I won't hop online and talk about any of the patients. To really get the irony of this, this facility has been a client for over 3 years and this was never done before. All day long I have access to literally hundreds of patient files and I have never, nor would I ever, talk about anyone to anybody. A good example is when Big D came home and told me his coworker Mr.X had told everyone he has cancer. My response was "what a shame" and not "hey I knew that 2 years ago bucko". This mans cancer had metastasized and he was telling people now. I don't ever discuss any of my work with anyone. In fact many of my friends don't know who my clients are because it is none of their business. I am sure most of you have signed HIPAA papers at your docs offices and that is basically what this states. So, I lost a night of sleep for nothing, they still love me :)

What to do?

We have lived in our home for 16 years and had a few neighbors come and go. From the time S2 (son#2--the boys will be referred to as S1, S2, S3 from now on:) was a very little guy he could be found running from our house to the next door neighbors house. They were very nice people with 2 daughters, the oldest being the same age as S2. As families we didn't socialize outside of being friendly neighbors and the occasional grill out on the deck. Mom is a very high ranking executive at a large corporation and dad has a similar position in a different company. (this isn't the reason we didn't spend alot of time together, we just had different life priorities) For awhile, when I was between careers, I did home daycare for other working moms. It was ideal for me as I was able to stay home with my kids and also able to make some money helping other moms that needed a safe, happy place for their kids. Most of the kids I watched had moms that worked part time (though there was an occasional one that felt my role was to raise their children but that is another whole post sometime) and it was a perfect blend of me having what they needed. Frequently when V's (the little girl that is S2's age) grandparents were away, (they were the ones that watched her while her parents were gone) she would come here and play. S2 loved it...she was his best friend and they spent hours and hours and hours on those day and on weekends running around, building forts, hiding in the bushes with walkie talkies pretending who knows what, skating, riding bikes, and on and on. One night when we were eating dinner I asked her what she wanted to do when she grew up. I was sure she would say she wanted to be important like her mom or a doctor like her grandpa but she got very quiet and said "I want to be a mom like you that can stay at the house" BAM. It hit me like a ton of bricks. This little girl had the best of everything but the one thing she wanted...her mom to be home and do the simple things like bake blueberry muffins. She helped me do that one day and was amazed that you didn't only get muffins from the gourmet market! At the risk of devastating her mom, I never told her what she said. Even if I had it wouldn't have swayed her to stay home, she was very ensconced in her executive roll and lived for it. Well, S2 and V were inseparable when V was at home but the parents decided they wanted to live closer to their employers so they moved when the kids were about 12. While S2 and V kept in touch it was difficult because they were too young for constant phoning etc and this was pre-instant messages and texting so they were pretty much limited to the occasional visit and began to lose touch. Once they reached high school, though in different cities, they regained contact and periodically chatted and got caught up. Well, a few days ago S2 found her on Faceb**k and left her a message. He was a bit caught off guard with how she responded. As it turns out, she is in a relationship with another girl. She is completely confident, athletic, popular (she has tons of photos with friends in her faceb**k, including several photos of her with her girlfriend in some intimate poses). S2 was stunned but quickly recovered and it really doesn't bother him at all. I on the other hand was not stunned as I always suspected even when she was younger that her life would take a different path than a lot of other little girls. It all goes back to the nature/nurture question of sexuality. My personal belief is that you are born the way you are. I do NOT believe one can "turn gay" or be swayed one way or the other...you either are or you aren't. I truly think that if someone could turn their sexuality on and off, nobody would choose to be gay, it is still too hard in this world. People are ostracized for being gay and I can't imagine anyone willingly choosing to be slurred, denied opportunities, told they are going to hell, etc. I am very proud of V for having the courage as a young woman to admit to being different than her peers. It had to be very very difficult and I can only imagine the day she told her parents. With the "perfect family" image they always maintained, this announcement had to be totally shocking to them. I would love to know if they have even told their friends...my guess would be that they have not and that makes me sad.

Back by popular demand

Okay, due to popular demand (from both of you) I am back. I can’t believe it has been a month since I last posted! I have been reading all sorts of blogs and leaving brilliant comments but I have sorely neglected updating my own.

When we last talked I was on vacation…oh, it was wonderful. I did very little except sit on the beach and relax and it was exactly what I needed. You know you are waaaay over stressed when you arrive at the beach on Saturday and don’t completely unwind until Wednesday. Not good. We voted and decided that from now on one week is not enough time away, ten days would be much much better. I also decided that at some point in my life I WILL live directly on the beach and wake each morning with the sound of the waves breaking on the shore. I just hope that it isn't some crappy oceanfront nursing home.

Lets see..well I survived dropping off S1 (son#1) at college. That still seems so weird to me. I honestly don’t feel grown up enough to have a kid old enough for college. (I will decide by the end of his post if I am going to briefly post a photo of us in the dorm room—not sure if I should out myself or not here). Because we got started so late with kids, I have a lot of friends whose kids are out of college and because of our youngest, I have many friends that are in their late 30’s. When I was little I thought that being older would contain some magic that only older people knew but what I didn’t know is that inside, quite frequently, I am still that shy uncomfortable college student myself. I AM much more comfortable with myself at this age though. The one thing that is a cruel joke though is sending a child off to college at the same time that menopause is striking. Yeah it sucks monkey balls. I am way too young for this crap but then again my girlie parts never did act appropriately or on cue!! Not only am I waking up at night with adrenalin rushes that lead to drenching my nightwear with sweat, but once I am awake I lay there and worry about all the things that S1 is going to be faced with at school. He has never been one to cave to peer pressure but it could be because he knew that I would make his life a living hell if he came home loaded or got in trouble et cetera. Now…well, he is on his own for the first time and shit, I know what I was like in college-heaven help me. He did promise me that if he hits the occasional party he would not get into any car, as a driver or passenger. He can sleep in the park if he has to but don’t get into a car. He promised.
Since this is a long weekend, I am hoping that at some point I can take the time to figure out how to put links to all my wonderful blogs that I read. There are so many wonderful stories out there, adoptions, hopeful to adopts, new babies, new pregnancies and even a couple of guy bloggers. I would ask one of my kids how to do it except then they would know how to access my blog and no, no, no, can't have that. I want to be able to reference blogs in my posts when necessary and also have that nice little list off to the side that so many bloggers have. It can't possibly be that complicated but after all, between sweats, I don’t have a lot of free time.

TRAVELIN

We are traveling in a caravan. Sons 1&2 insisted they wanted a road trip, an adventure of sorts so we are at this moment following son 1 who has son 3 in his car while son 2 drives mine. Might I just say that I AM NOT a good passenger, especially when the driver is an overconfident 17 year old that feels that his whole year of driving experience is monumental and has no fear of anything. Please say a little prayer for me that 1) we arrive safely..2) that we arrive safely before I have to smack the snot into submission and 3) the bottle of wine that my friend gave me for my birthday doesn’t break before we reach our destination. I am not even a wine drinker but what the hell, after the first glass I won't care J. We did have an interesting experience last night. When we were going through Winston-Salem, we missed our exit for the next highway we were to take so we hit the next exit to turn around and backtrack ever so slightly to the previous exit….wellllll, we landed in a very, shall we say, TERRIFYING area? I have seen my share of bad areas in cities before but never before have I actually had a RAT meander across the street in front of me. Yes, a real rat, long tail and all. After an initial ewwwwww, I managed to laugh. We have walkie talkies between the two cars so I was trying to calm down son1 (who was actually the one that took the wrong turn). He is a very bright type A guy with a bit of neurotic paranoid when he is presented with the unfamiliar—he needs order and structure to not get rattled). Anyway, we finally got turned around in an incredibly seedy area with some incredibly unsavory characters looking at us like a bunch of lost people from Ohio (oh, yeah, we were) and got back on the road. About 30 miles later we decided to stop for the night and found a place that looked clean and decent. I related the adventure to the desk girl and she looked and me and in her wonderful slow southern drawl said “Oh honey, I am so sorry. That is NOT an area you want to get lost!” She then went on to tell me that one of the reasons the unsavory guys were milling around is that a lot of people get messed up with the way the exits are there and when some poor unsuspecting saps like us roll through the gentlemen step out in front of your car to get you to stop so you won't hit them then they pull out some darling little weapons and ROB you. She literally said “Usually the only way to avoid gittin robbed is to hit them with yall’s car”…she honestly said that with a serious face! One more adventure for the family memory book. We will be at our final destination later today and I will let you know if we manage to have any more little bits of excitement along the way…..

ON THE ROAD--soon

Tomorrow morning the boys and I are headed out to our summer vacation in South Carolina. I am so freaking stressed out right now getting ready to go that I am sure by morning I will have a killer headache. Big D is in another part of the country at a conference so he is flying in to meet us and on Saturday we check into our condo. Saturday is also my 50th birthday. I can't decide if I am excited or disgusted. I plan on donning my tiara that I ordered on Ebay and sailing down the resorts lazy river for most of the day. When I get back I will put up a couple quick photos. On the car damage front.....FINALLY today I got a call from the castle lady...she had contacted her insurance man who in turn contacted me. After getting the details, they told me to go ahead and get an estimate when we get back and go from there. It doesn't sound like they will be giving me a hard time but they did ask if I had a deductable...hmmmm....I don't think that matters as I HAVE NO INTENTION OF PAYING ANYTHING for the damage that was caused by their tree....we will see how the saga unfolds. Now, I am off to finish packing and getting ready to blow out of town....I can't wait to hit the sand!!!!!!! (BTW if any of you are going to be in the North Myrtle Beach area, let me know and I will buy you a fruity drink with an umbrella).

fun times

If you are ever invited to a wedding here~ please go. It is a beautiful setting for an outdoor wedding. But, I want to warn you, don't park under this tree-

or, when you are ready to leave, your car may look like this~

A very large limb came down upon my poor car while we were celebrating with the new bride and groom. (I was going to post a photo I took of the limb lying in front of my car but my license plate was too obvious for web posting-sorry). The photo really doesn't show the damage. there are several HUGE dents in the hood and also on the roof. It missed my sunroof by a couple inches. I am just hoping that the owner of the property is decent enough to pay the repair. This tree should have been taken down long ago by looking at the condition it is in now. Because of the wedding, I had my camera with me and loaded it up with photos to show the owner on Monday.

This place is amazing. It is in the middle of nowhere typically about an hour from our home. If you have a minute, look it up if you are wanting a beautiful spot for a night or two (anniversary, birthday, romantic get-away) http://www.landollscastle.com/. I bet it is beautiful in the autumn. Although,,,,,if the owner turns out to be an unfriendly butt head, I will let you know and will start an online castle haters club.

Last night on the way home I wished I had a computer in my brain so I could blog what I was thinking. Big D took a wrong turn and we ended up about 2 hours from home before he would admit he didn't know where he went wrong. We have been married 26 years and I can honestly count on one hand the number of times he has ADMITTED he was wrong about anything. Now, I am not saying he is never wrong, he is fairly frequently, he just WILL NOT admit it. When we were first married his mom told me that even as a young child he did not take criticism well...yeah, no shit. The hilarious part of last night is that the further we went in the wrong direction the more pissed he got and I sat there not saying a word. Finally he turned to me and said "quit being so mean". I busted out laughing...I had not said one negative word or one word at all for that matter. I have no room to talk. I can't tell you east and west unless the sun is rising or setting...but I ADMIT IT and have no shame. I am fabulous at many things, marco poloing isn't one of them.

Hope you had a good weekend.

catching up

Hi folks! I know I haven’t been here in quite a while but I assure you I have been reading and commenting (some) on all of your blogs. I have been so very very busy here in my little world. Since I last posted several of my lovely blog ladies have given birth, found out they were finally pregnant or are now on the 2 week wait. Their lives and postings are much more interesting than mine so that is why what little free time I have had, I have been reading instead of writing. Let’s see~probably the biggest event was son #1 graduating. He fought us tooth and nail about having a party (he is quiet and has a few friends but isn’t very outgoing so the friends he has are good friends, just not plentiful) but we finally convinced him he had to celebrate his accomplishments…once the party was over and he was opening envelopes he was rather tickled that we talked him into the whole thing! He is more than ready to head off to college,,,me..I am not so sure. I swear it was just a couple weeks ago we brought him home. I used to get so pissed when people would tell me that they grow up so fast..I got sick of hearing that but sadly all those people were right. I don’t know if I ever posted this or not but the social worker that counseled son #1’s Bmom is a very good friend of ours. Believe it or not she had nothing to do with us being picked as the parents. She presented the 5 familys in their domestic program to the young couple and it was just amazing that they picked us. She said her hands were sweating the entire time they were looking at our profile and the 4 other couple’s folders. To this day I don’t think that the Bmom even knows that the social worker is a friend of ours. Honestly we would not even have known about the ONE TIME domestic placement that this agency was doing (they place children from Korea as a rule) had I been suffering silently. My feeling was that the more people that knew that we wanted to adopt the better. In my mind, you have no idea who may have a cousin, neighbor, et cetera that is placing a baby so why not use networking to get the word out. My one piece of advice I give all couples wanting to adopt domestically is to talk talk talk about it to anyone. Even the cashier at your favorite store might have a pregnant sister..who knows!? I really shouldn’t have waited so long to post….too many things have happened and I have forgotten most of them. See what happens when you get old!? I am going to be suffering at the end of the month with a very big birthday. Actually we are going to be out of town because I refused to sit here at home or at work doing the same crap I do every other day of the year. So, I planned our vacation for that week. We will arrive in South Carolina the day before my birthday and on that special day, I will be lazing my way through the lazy river at the resort with a good book, most probably a drink and a beautiful tiara on my head. Yes, you read that right. I ordered a tiara for myself if for no other reason than to completely humilate my children. I can’t wait. So, if you see a slightly overweight woman wearing a tiara floating past you, that would be me. Stop me and say hi! Let’s see..what’s new with the boys? Well I already told you about #1. #2 quit his summer job and started his own business. He is detailing really amazing hot cars. I don’t even like cars but these are pretty amazing. Personally I can't believe how much people are paying him for this but lets just say he is making more in 2 days than he did in a whole week at work, he gets to work his own schedule, take breaks without permission and in general this has made him much nicer to live with. This child is the one that has a zillion friends, can’t go more than 15 minutes without talking to someone on his phone and if he has to miss an event he can slam a door better than anyone. He did find out today that his little donut in the parking lot stunt (see a previous post) is going to continue to haunt him. He was notified that his insurance has gone up—he was horrified. Yep kid, ya do stupid shit and the smell lingers. So, guess that it is a good thing he is making all that money, huh? I mentioned earlier that son #1 is leaving for college—little funny story here. First, let me preface this by saying that we are not racist, homophobic, or any other ist or obic so this is not intended to offend, we just think it is funny. Son was assigned a room-mate that we spoke to on the phone and he seemed nice. Sons good friend spoke to his assigned room-mate and he seemed nice too. But, (isn't there always a but?) he is very very active in gay rights programs, and causes and told friend that their room would probably be a meeting place quite often. Friend was understanding at first then started thinking about a revolving door with little privacy and he decided that it would be best for his studying if he got a room-mate that was a little less involved, like son#1. So, the two of them decided to room together. Great. Both quiet, studious, good match. When son requested the change in rooms he couldn’t believe how simple it went. Then 3 days later he found out that he and friend didn’t switch room-mates, they switched rooms. So, now son #1 is with the activist and friend is with son’s original room mate. Now they need to ask activist room-mate to move so son and friend can room together. Boy will that be an awkward conversation! I love seeing them go through lifes little lessons but it is very hard for me to stand back and not take charge. Well, that leaves son #3 and bigd. Son is enjoying his summer a little too much. What is it with these parents that schedule all these parties for 12 year olds? He is invited to something almost every night. Of course I am such a mean Mom because I restrict his partying. Maybe I am out in left field but I don’t think 12 year olds need to be constantly entertained and driven all over the place. Aside from the fact that I am evil and say “no” a lot, he is having a great summer. That leaves bigd. He is actually a post all by himself. There have been several times since I posted last that I have thought about how great single life sounds –ha! Getting ready for the party was hell. He is a perfectionist and drives all of us crazy. At one point the boys and I were calculating how much mulch it would take to cover him in one of the beds. We didn’t like him much for about a week but he is being sort of human again so he is working his way back into our hearts. Well, enough of this boring drivel for tonight. I plan on posting more frequent and shorter posts, hopefully clever or witty, and maybe with some really cool photos. I am also going to try to learn how to add all of your blogs to a list on the side of my blog and try to snaz it up a bit. Any help is welcome!

more soon

I have been crazed lately, reading blogs but no time for posting. I do have a bunch to say and I will soon but when I was reading T.K.O. earlier today she had a photo there that gave me a flashback and I HAD to post this one of son#1 that I swear was taken at the same place her photo was taken...(although many years apart) so, T.K.O this one is for you.

I will be back...maybe tomorrow.

memorable events

When you hear someone say that today is an anniversary do you assume it is of a happy event? It is one of those words that can mean so many things. When you are young and dating "like duh, an amazing guy" you celebrate your monthly anniversaries because you never really know if you will make it to the year mark. When you are married you celebrate that you have been able to stay together this long without inflicting severe bodily harm on one another with a mere death ray stare after your partner says or does something so completely stupid it is hard to believe they really did that, and that you are STILL married and CELEBRATING this anniversary. Then I think all of us have anniversaries that we would give anything to not have to remember. The babies lost, the parents lost, and multiple other moments in time that have formed you into the person you are. Seventeen years ago today my mom died. I can't believe it has been so long. Son #2 was 6 weeks old, son #1 was 17 months. Her death was totally unexpected and sadly the result of a medical resident's mistake. At the time countless people urged me to sue the resident, hospital and everyone in between but I couldn't bring myself to do that. He (the doc in training) was about my age and didn't harm her with any malice or intent. He made a mistake. A mistake that changed my entire world. It took my sons adoring grandmother that they would never know. She was the one person I could tell anything to and not be judged. (In fact she pretty much thought that I was brilliant--ahhhh a mom's blind love). I miss her every day and can't believe it has been so long and so much life has passed since then. All the important milestones in my adult life have happened without her knowing. Honestly it was about 2 years before I quit reaching for the phone to call her to tell her about something or about nothing at all, just to tell her hi and I love you. I realize after reading so many blogs about sucky moms that I was very blessed...though I already knew that but it just drives home the point. As for another subject...I have had a couple people email me asking what I ended up doing about demon boy (remember Damian the cat throwing devil??) well after thinking about it and talking with a couple of people that know the family well...apparently this would NOT be news to his parents. This boy has been banned from several homes and his parents really don't give a rats ass about why. There are some major issues going on in that house and it is best that I just keep son 3# away from there. What DOES break my heart is that he is being cast aside as a lost cause at 12. The rescuer in me wants to sweep him up and guide him into a productive adulthood. I will never understand people that have children and then fail them so miserably. Also since I posted last son #1 graduated from high school. I handled the whole evening great, nary a tear till one kid got up at the end and gave a fabulous little speech (which I might add, he did without note cards which is something that neither the superintendent or the school principal could do) and at the end of the kids speech, he asked the other students to join him in applause for their parents, to thank them for all their love and devotion all these years.... I lost it. Yep, tears 'o plenty. I sat there and watched the little boy that I first held when he was just 3 weeks old, graduate and begin the next chapter in his life. Where the hell did all the years go?? Well this post sure is dismal. I hope I don't drive you away with my droning on and on...I think it is just the day.

funny read for the week

Every weekend I get an e-zine that has the weeks news that you may not have heard from the usual newspaper, tv news etc. The publisher is a man by the name of Randy Cassingham and he offers subscriptions to this newsletter and also offers a free version. Each week I read the "news" and more than once find myself laughing. After my most previous post this week, I couldn't help but reprint the one I read in Randy's post---I think this schools dean went to the same school as the girl I posted about earlier this week. (you can sign up for the weekly edition at www.thisistrue.com ) JUST PLAIN DUMB: After a food fight in the cafeteria at Markham Intermediate School on Staten Island, N.Y., the dean sent a letter to parents to announce the entire eighth grade class would be punished for the mess. Dean Michael Levy declared the fight in the "caferteria" to be "unexcecpable" and that parents must sign the letter or their children will be excluded from "all senior activates" such as the prom. One student noted that "even some of the teachers were laughing" at the dean's poor spelling and grammar. Principal Emma Della Rocca said the dean didn't have her permission to send the letter, and she countermanded the collective punishment. (Staten Island Advance) ...Since Dean Levy thinks punishments should be public, why doesn't the principal announce his?

Thanks to the Independent Urologist

Thanks to IU for a post that triggered my memory. Awhile back I was looking to add someone to my staff and put the usual word out. I was contacted by an acquaintance that told me she forwarded my website and email to a friend of a friend...etc. Anyway what follows is THE ACTUAL letter (email) I received from this applicant. I saved it to read on those days when I need a good head shaking moment. I will delete or alter any identifying information but I will not alter any of her actual letter--for your benefit, I will highlight most of the errors: Hi *&^%, Thanks for getting in touch with me, it makes me that much more excited to get started. Im taking the home schooling medical transcription course threw education direct online. From wat i understand i will get a certificate to be able to start working, then after i work for 2-3 years i can take the AAMT licenced test to become a licenced MT? Well i guess my biggest fear is that i have already put so much work and money into the course and i have been looking for compnays to work threw that allows you to work from home, but i cant find any. Most of them require expierience as a transcriptionist in an office/hospital setting. I am in my last anatomy class then ill take transcription 101 and be done with the schooling. I know this field requires lots and lots of hard work and long hours but i enjoy working hard. Its almost a sence of acomplishment. I live in *&^%$#. I just got married july 4th and my husband is in *&^%$#. They are roomates, so thats how me and *&^%started taking. I lived in orlando and just moved here in august. I do like )(*&^ though. I do however have some expierience with medical records. When i was 14 i volenteered at the hospital in the heart center .. filing and pulling records and also making new records. My parents work in the *&^%$ field for hte goverment and i always volenttered at there work doing the same thing with medical records. I want to start as soon as possible though. I feel that the only way im gonna learn is by doing it hands on and threw repitition. I do want to work from home though but i dont mind working for someone or a company. I would work fulltime though but i cant say that ill be perfect at it at first but i know ill improve with expierience. I think that after i have learned enough to start on my own several years down the road i might venture out and try to be self contracted or even start having people work for me, such as yourself. But in time, of course. My daughet is very well behavied for two.. As long as u give her something to do (color, puzzles, books, toys, ect) she will be quite for hours, so i dont have it to bad with her. plus im living with my husbands parents and they help alot. another question i have... once im getting started ill have to purchase a head set, foot pedal, software, where is a good place to get this stuff? my phone number is %^&*()& for my cell and the house phone number is )(*&^%$ is the house number witch has long distance but i dont want to run my parents in law's phone bill up. thank you so much for getting in touch with me and giving me advice, i really apricate everything you can do. Yes folks..the above young lady wanted me to think about hiring her. I fretted for quite some time about what to tell her and decided that I would not blow smoke up her butt--I would tell her the truth. I told her she first needed to take a course at her local vocational school in grammar including the basics as she may have missed a few things while she was in school. She also needs to learn to use her computer to her advantage utilizing her spelling and grammar checker. The other thing I made clear was that she probably should think about a different line of work/education. I was kind but very firm. This poor girl has already been taken to the cleaners paying for the classes she already took...and I would say they were a waste of time, wouldn't you?? I cannot imagine ANY physician hiring this girl or any transcription company for that matter. It drives me crazy when I see these ads that tell people they can make $50,000 per year after they complete a 6 month course..Folks..IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! The girls I hire ALL have years of medical experience behind them...it is essential! I even have nurses working for me. These are legal documents and mistakes and errors just cannot happen. All of my physicians know that when they are distracted and state (for example) a med that doesn't go with any of the patients diagnoses, an inconsistent diagnosis from earlier, RT vs LT, etc I will contact them and verify. I have always been praised and thanked for catching an error and helping them maintain accurate records. We are responsible for a multitude of letters that end up in the hands of attorneys and eventually entered into court records..mistakes can make a huge difference in the outcome of the cases and most importantly can impact a physicians practice not to mention their lives. I love what I do, and that is a good thing since I spend a good part of my life doing it. So---Thanks IU for bringing this particular letter back to my memory and giving me the idea for the longest damn post I have ever written.

I need opinions

Wow! was I a Debbie Downer last post. Sorry about that. Sometimes I vent and feel so much better after and that was one of those times. Thanks all of you that expressed concern over my marriage. I am pretty certain that all is well. Next week we will have been married 26 years and honestly for the most part I wouldn’t really change anything,,,not even the bad times. Actually, those times have helped me grow into a much more confident and self sufficient woman. While the "bad" times are happening it is hard to see the bright side but once things have settled and I can think more clearly there is always a positive. Now for the thing I need your opinion about. I have a dilemma and I think I handled it correctly but let me know what you think…. About 2 weeks ago son#3 asked if his friend *Damian (name changed but fits the kid in question) over to play. Sure I said! Damian arrives and seems a little off to me but hell, he is 12 and aren't all 12 year old boys a little off?? Anyway I was upstairs folding clothes quietly (our laundry is on the second floor…best idea I ever had, btw). We have a 2 story family room so looking out of the laundry room I can see the family room/kitchen area. So, I look out of the laundry room in time to see Damian picking up one of the kitties. (insert awww moment thinking he was going to cuddle with our little fuzzball). In a split second I see him taunting the dog with the cat. Shaking the cat at the dog. If that wasn’t bad enough, in another split second Damian throws….yes, I said THROWS the cat across the family room, launching him about 12 feet. I was absolutely horrified. When I let out a very loud "DAMIAN what did you just do"? he looks up at me and says "oh, sorry" with absolutely NO remorse. The only thing he was upset about is that he got caught. The little demon child then shrugs his shoulders and walks out the back door. Needless to say my blood was boiling by that point. I went to tell Big D and he looked at me like surely I was mistaken..sorry, no mistake, saw it with my very own eyes. At that point I called in son#3 and told him to get Damian’s things packed up (yeah, Damian thought he was coming to spend the night even though I have never met his mother nor did she call to confirm this supposed arrangement). I was so incredibly pissed that I was afraid I was going to launch HIM across the room, so I had son#2 drive him home. Again no call from mom about why her son was home again after she thought he was going to be here, even though she never called in the first place about that! I sat son#3 down and for the first time in my momming history, I told one of my kids that they were not to play with a certain individual any more and that Damian was not welcome in our home. I was blunt, and honest with son#3, told him why and why it concerned me, especially the lack of remorse. This kid scares the hell out of me…do we have an upcoming Jeffr*y Dahm*r on our hands?? He started with animal abuse too as do many serial killers and just plain old nut cases. My question is…one of my friends thinks I went too far in banning the little (monster), um child from my home. What do you think?? Be honest, I can take it if you all agree with my friend I just need to hear from people who don’t know the kid and his family as my friend does. (To make matters worse, I saw him this weekend with his family and their PUPPY..I almost went up to his mother to tell her what he did but we were in a gathering for a game (son and Damian play on the same sport team) and I didn’t think it was the right place to tell someone that her kid is frightening. Put yourself in my shoes and tell me what you would do.

Families

I have avoided blogging for the past week because I was afraid I would blurt out something that I would regret later. I have learned over time that it is generally best I keep my mouth shut when I am distracted, confused or emotionally wrought. For starters Mother’s day sucked. I have only had one Mother’s day in my adult life that was great. For years I struggled to become a mother so those days were obviously joyous only in a fake smile for my MIL and a tearful hug for my mom while my heart was breaking. I loved being with my Mom on that day but since she wanted me to have children almost as much as I did, we usually ended up talking about that and we would end up with tears in our eyes. The first Mother’s day I was actually a mom was brilliant, wonderful, glorious and nothing could have brought me off my cloud. The following year my mom died. For me a large part of my life ended. She was my hero and my angel. She was an amazing woman. She never conquered any mountains or won any awards but she deserved a gold medal for her strength and courage and never ending love for me. (Yes, even when I was an obnoxious teen). This year Mother’s day sucked because Big D decided to have a meltdown with son#2. To be truthful, they are so much alike and it amazes me that #2's traits that bother Big D the most, are actually traits I see in him. Son #2 did something quite benign (IMO) and it sent Big D over the edge. There was yelling, crying, more yelling and it ended with Big D talking about moving out. I know that he wanted me to cry and beg him not to but I have reached the point in my life where I have decided that I cannot be his keeper and told him that while none of us wanted him to leave, I would not want him here if this isn't where he wanted to be. I think it is far more unhealthy for someone to stay out of guilt or obligation than it is for them to leave. He and I don’t agree on parenting styles. I am sure that most of it is because we were raised on opposite ends of the spectrum. He was raised with a firm father and a mouse of a mom (lovely lady but never ever uttered a feeling of her own…she always deferred to Big D’s dad for anything that required a decision). I on the other hand was raised alone with just my mom and we actually got along extremely well. Sure there were times between the ages of 13-17 that I wished she would disappear but the only time I ever remember being disciplined was at age 15 when I snuck to the mall with a friend and had my ears pierced(after being told that it was not allowed). That one got me grounded for 2 weeks because in moms generation the only girls that had pierced ears were sluts~a few years later I stood with her while she had hers done~then I grounded her. When our boys do something stupid I always hope that I am the one that sees because I can intervene and give a sensible punishment…you know, the kind that fits the crime. Big D on the other hand usually lowers the boom fast and furious. Groundings for a tool left out or clothes on a bedroom floor. I am sorry…I just really don’t agree. These boys are courteous, helpful, kind, generous, non-law breaking, non smokers, non drinkers, no drugs, and I think they deserve credit for the above..Big D thinks that is all stuff that should not need to be rewarded with any pats on the back. I don’t know if there is a right or wrong answer here. Not having had a dad I have nothing to compare D’s fathering skills to. Him having a meek mom that never stood up for him gives him nothing to compare me to. I think we are at a stalemate. He ended up not moving out and telling me that he loves all of us so very much but this isn't the first rocky road we have traveled in the past 25 years and it probably won't be the last. The first time we had a major marital problem was the summer of my 40th birthday and since that time I have grown into myself in so many ways and have discovered that I don’t NEED him here but I do WANT him here. There is a big difference. If the day comes where one of these events turns ugly and can't be worked out, I know I could survive and that is a great feeling. It is a self confidence that was severely lacking for most of my life. Sorry for the ramble..sometimes it helps when I write, then read, my feelings. It kinda clears out the cobwebs.

music

Do any of you recognize this song? Mare-zee dotes and dozey dotes and little lambsy divey, a kiddley divey too wouldn’t you? WHAT? You don’t recognize this?? It is a staple of childhood songs. I believe I was 30 years old before I knew that those weren't the real words. My entire life I thought it was a song made of nonsense words. I had a eureka moment one day and realized that the words to the song actually DID make sense if you sang them the way they were written. This is just one of the times in my life when I thought, shit, I am so stupid. When it comes to music I lip-synch with the best of them. I have to, because usually I have no idea what the words really are. I am one of those people you see driving down the road singing at the top of my lungs and when you see my lips stop moving or what appears to be me saying "la, la, la" it is because I have no clue what the words are. For some reason it is the melody that gets registered into my brain and the words are a distant second, though some are clear, many blend into one long word or phrase. (I do kick ass at the choruses though). I also can't tell you the names of the bands or the names of the singers. Big D is freakishly amazing in this department. A song will come on and he will know not only the band and the artist singing but what band the guy started with in 1968 and the name of his first song, who it was written for and what time of day the guy has his first drink. I like all kinds of music though. Anything from the Beatles, Steppenwolf, whose song Magic Carpet Ride I DO KNOW THE WORDS TO-YAY FOR ME! to current bands,The Fray, Snow Patrol, and there are a bunch more, but I don’t know their names. Son #1 for some mysterious reason loves the music of the 60’s and 70’s. The kid is 18 and you would think he would be jammin with some hip hoppers but I love it when he cranks up his music and takes me back to my high school days. Some of the songs immediately transport me to a party at Auggies house, or riding in Glenn’s Chevy Nova with the massive wheels in the back. Then there is John. My first real love. I was 16, he was 18 and absolutely the best looking guy in the world. We dated for over a year and he broke my heart by dumping me for that skanky little waitress from Perkins Pancakes. The one he ended up marrying. I even dedicated a song to him in my senior yearbook…it was Elton Johns song about the sun going down..don’t remember the name sorry. Speaking of John…(mine not Elton) about 6 months ago an old friend of mine ran into him and he told her that he has always regretted the way he treated me, that I was so nice, didn’t deserve the way he treated me and that he had really made a mistake…I hate to say it made me smile, but it did. When someone breaks your heart it is nice to know if they are truly sorry for it, even if it is 33 years later. Shit that makes me sound so old! How come my body is old but often I feel like I am still 18? There is some cosmic unfairness going on here. By the way the real words to the song are: Mares eat oats, and doe’s eat oats and little lambs eat ivy, kids will eat ivy too wouldn’t you? (at least I think those are the real words).

Wanna buy a car??

Good morning. Do you like the "new" format? I finally got up enough courage to play around with blogger and it wasn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be. I do need help on two things...if you can help, please feel free to speak up. Firstly I read soooo many blogs that I would like to list like everyone seems to do and for the life of me, I cannot figure out how to do that. Also, if anyone knows how I can get the font that crosses out your letters please let me know.

Ok, I am desperate, so I decided to go international with my plight. I really really really want to sell my car. I have loved it gently for the past 3 years but I need to downsize. I am thinking about this cute little red, two seater, convertible I saw. I have no idea what kind of car it was, I just know that I would look really good sitting in the driver seat. PLUS with only two seats I couldn't possibly haul sweaty little athletes across half the state for tournaments. Other than my own sweaty little athlete of course. Also, son #1 still wants to go to college so I am selling anything I can think of...jewelry, household items, basically I am downsizing my life. I am willing to drive wherever you are to deliver this car, especially if you live someplace really cool...hell, it doesn't need to be cool, I will go anywhere to get away for a day or two :) Just think for a mere $15,300 you could get this LOW mileage (26,000 miles) gem. It is loaded...air, sunroof, HEATED leather seats...(there is nothing like having your ass warmed on a cold winters day) and many other extras. C'mon, you know you want this and just think how good you will feel when son #1 mentions your contribution to his college education when he is giving his Summa Cum Laude address when he graduates from college. By the way...son #1 is selling his truck too. Thank goodness...I am NOT a truck person. I had to drive it last week and I felt like the only thing missing was my cowboy hat, huge belt buckle and wheat grass sticking out of my mouth. He only needs to get $8500 for his but, like I said it is a truck. Also...if you are the lucky purchaser of either vehicle, I will throw in some kind of thank you gift. Now all 3 of you that read this blog can scramble to your phones...no, wait, I am not posting my number..well you can comment and I will give you my number. Oh, if you pass this along to a friend that is looking, YOU still get the gift--I am kinda generous like that.

inbox or outbox?

I was cleaning my office this morning while I was waiting for my work to arrive. Some days it is in my inbox by 7 am other days it doesnt arrive till about 10.

The days it is late I get a chance to get caught up on my bill paying, filing, etc. My office is kind of like the hole in the house. Everything lands here. If you look around at any given moment it is full of officey type things but also, socks that were shed after school the day before from my hillbilly kids that hate to have their precious toes covered, homework assignments that I will be getting a call about later with whichever kid asking me to drive as fast as possible to bring that work in because it was due last week so it HAS to be there in the next 10 minutes, reorder forms for magazines that I never have time to read but "they are my favorites" to have a subscription to, and more miscellaneous crap that will probably never be needed.

This also happens to be the smallest room in the house. Thankfully I have a teenie tiny family heirloom desk (you know the kind they made when nobody ever grew to more than 5'1 and never weighed more than 95 pounds) that is very very small. My keyboard, monitor and a few papers basically maxes out the desktop area. Anyway, while I was filing a stack of papers I have been successfully ignoring for months someone quietly snuck (sneeked?) into my office and got comfy. My dilemma is I am not sure if this is filed as in box or out box. What do you think?

Terrifying the dog

Let me set the stage for this. It was early afternoon and I had yet to get a shower. (Started work at 6 am and got busy..as usual). Since Harley has been very well behaved I have been letting him out of my office little by little when I step out to use the bathroom or whatever. He is very content peeking into the rooms and he pretty much stays by my side. Anyway, I decided that as long as all the bedroom doors were closed and all the trash went out this morning, there was really nothing he could get into while I took my shower so I decided to let him roam around. Like I said for the last two months he has been "living" in my office (hey, if I can be there 16 hours a day, so can he). Until lately I had been putting him in his kennel when I have to leave my office for more than a couple minutes. My point is, that he really hadn’t been around when I have gone to shower. WELL….here we are, in the bathroom…he is at my feet. I took off my t-shirt and he suddenly sat up and stared at my chest. He was mesmerized by my boobs. It suddenly dawned on me, he had never seen me naked. I swear to you, he looked at the left one, then the right one, then the left again… If he could talk he would have surely let out a WHAT THE %#$@ ARE THOSE??? The poor boy put his ears back and went scurrying out of the bathroom with his tail between his legs. Lets just say I am no longer the perky, taut, little 36A I used to be. Age and gravity have done their job in helping my boobs, now about 38C, almost line up with my belly button so he probably thought my nipples were staring at him. Poor dog.

Virginia Tech

I have had all these wonderful posts lurking in my head these past few days but as I sat down to write I put on the TV and saw the breaking news coming out of Virginia Tech, my heart is breaking and I just can't be witty. We are sending off out oldest son to college in August. I know this kind of thing doesn’t happen all the time on campuses but knowing that all these kids were doing what kids do, sleeping, eating, going to class…all the things my son will be doing soon. I want to go to college with my son, and follow him around everywhere he goes to watch him and keep him safe. No, I am not really going to do that, I just wish I could. When my children were placed in my arms, my entire world changed. I no longer think about myself first, in fact I rarely think about myself at all. I have a keen awareness of how the mothers in the animal kingdom feel. I would lay down my life without hesitation to protect my children. God help the person that causes my child harm. Ironically, my son and I spent all day last Thursday at his future campus getting his dorm assignment, room-mate name, and actually scheduling all of his first semester classes. Throughout the day we were split up and all the kids went with current students or advisors while the parents had sessions about how we are paying for the education, what meal plans to buy, grants and scholarships et cetera. By the time we were reunited we had been there for 7 hours (exhausting but extremely well organized day) and we had the option to stay for one more "talk" or we could leave if we had other places to be since all the scheduling and other imperatives were done. We chose to leave. We were both hungry and tired and felt that we had asked every question possible, gotten answers and we were set for fall semester to begin. Now the kicker….the last talk (that hardly anyone stayed to listen to) was about campus safety. Oh how I wish I had stayed. You can be assured that I will be calling the campus police dept to ask them how they would handle a situation like this at sons campus. Strangely, if I had a daughter I would have stayed…how is that for a double standard?! My son is a scrawny, tall, lanky, very un-athletic guy and yet I always assume that guys won't be victimized. I should know better. Many of the blogs I read are people struggling to become parents like we were. I always knew that I would love my children because I knew how much my mom loved me. At least I thought I new. I truly didn’t understand the sheer depth of her love for me till I became a mom. I can't even begin to think about losing a child in this manner. I have lost 4 babies (strangely all girls) but it was before I had ever held them. Those losses were horrible but while I loved those unborn girls, I hadn't held them while they were vomiting from illness, cleaned and bandaged their boo-boos, made their favorite foods just because I was thinking about them that day, surprised them with a note in their lunches et cetera. To all of you that are still struggling, please don’t give up. I KNOW infertility is at times mind numbingly painful but at the end of the road when you are a parent, you will have achieved what I perceive as the greatest blessing there is. If you are of the praying type, say an extra one for all those parents that have lost their sons and daughters today.

THE MALE SPECIES

If you are a lover of all things male then you should skip this post as I am about to launch into a tirade about how unbelievably ignorant that particular species can be. A few weeks ago I had an abnormal pap, then another a couple weeks after that. My family physician referred me to a GYN specializing in abnormal testing. I went for what I thought would be a routine get-to-know-you kind of visit yesterday when Dr. Uterus saw the glint in my eye that he correctly interpreted as a patient that would likely cancel 4-10 visits before I actually came back to have any further testing done. Before I knew it, I was letting him see parts that even Big D has never seen. Dr. Uterus is well known for being a rather serious young man and in my opinion seemed very intelligent but not real comfortable with the face to face (he obviously prefers talking to nether regions). Anyway, to lighten things up (and to keep myself from screaming while the inside of one of my organs had chunks removed by some gawd awful equipment) I told him that at least he could have bought me dinner first. I thought the poor boy was going to hyperventilate. He was stunned then laughed very loud. His sidekick nurse looked at me like I had performed a miracle. The ice was broken, along with my cervix and uterus. We had a few more chuckles while he yanked out several chunks of my innards to be sent to Dr. Pathologist to see if we could possibly get the insurance company (because you know they DO rule the world) to allow me to have all these worthless parts removed and free me of all the crap said parts cause. Anyway, on to the tirade. I came home and while not going into specifics of what I had done, I let it be known that I was pretty uncomfortable and was going to take some pain medication (nice to take even without the pain;) and rest. Okay, I did tell them enough that they shouted EWWW and while running out of the room all thanked God that they weren't girls. As I walked in son #2 was staring out the window (insert my thought of him contemplating life and how to stop global warming) and I asked him what he was thinking about. In all seriousness he said that if the wind kept blowing like it is, and it continued to come from just the right direction, like it is, the garbage cans would blow close enough to the house that they might make it to the garage and he wouldn’t have to put them away. HUH? This one, he has a great future somewhere. Son 3# announced that he was going to friend J’s house and asked if I could take care of the neighbors dog (we are dog/house sitting for the hot little poodle next door-the one that prances around her yard in front of our poor ball-less Harley). Um, yeah son #3, I would love to put on boots, a coat, gloves, a hat (did I mention that it is snowing on April 5th?) and trudge next door to DO YOUR JOB THAT YOU AGREED TO DO—the answer is no..do it before you go to J’s house. Son #1 walked in about then to ask me what was for dinner. When I answered "what ever you find to shove in your mouth" he said we didn’t have any good food in the house (ie: cookies, pre-cooked lobster or filet, twice baked potatoes with bacon....this is the kid that will have a very very rude awakening when he arrives at college this fall and has to live on ramen noodles like everyone else :). I then offered to spring for Chinese food. He looked at me and as he turned to walk up the steps to his room he said "let me know when you get home with it". W.H.A.T.? Since we don’t have any places that deliver in our area we need to pick up. Without going into the fact that I called all of them spoiled rotten little snots, son #3 DID go do the pickup. Later in the evening I gathered them all around and asked what they thought they would have to do if I was no longer here…not in a morbid way, I may have said something to the effect of "you know some moms run away from their families and live idyllic lives on warm beaches". I am certain that the two cats and the dog would definitely starve to death, clothes would be worn till they smelled so bad that none of the sons would have any friends left, hairballs and slime would fill the house and all of the family would be sustained on Pepsi and Oreo’s since I wouldn’t be doing the shopping. In case you noticed that I didn’t mention Big D in this equation, he is a post all by himself. Lets just say, he never had any sisters and his mom was the epitome of a June Cleaver clone. He has never had a clue about anything female and probably never will.

Amazing

This amazes me: Couple Approach 80th Wedding Anniversary AP LUBEC, Maine (March 29) - Kathleen Tarbell "fell head over my stomach" for her husband Waldo when they met at a dance. They married in 1927, during Calvin Coolidge's presidency. This weekend, they'll celebrate their 80th anniversary. Waldo is 101 and Kathleen will turn 100 in June. The anniversary party will be Saturday afternoon at Oceanview Nursing Home, where the couple shares a large room. Maine's Office of Vital Records could not immediately determine if the Tarbells' marriage is the longest in the state. The 2007 Guinness Book of World Records lists a Rhode Island couple wed for 83 years as having the longest marriage among living people. Kathleen, a native of Pembroke, moved to Waldo's hometown of Meddybemps after they married. Two years later, they moved to Pembroke, where their two children, Helen Brown and Elliot Tarbell, were born. Waldo and Kathleen lived in their home in Pembroke until a few weeks ago. "I had to go to the hospital to have some X-rays taken. My back was killing me," Kathleen told the Bangor Daily News. After she was hospitalized, Waldo was moved to the nursing home and she later joined him. For 37 years, Waldo worked for Maine Central Railroad, at a starting wage of 37 cents an hour. After their children were raised, Kathleen worked for 32 years as a "herring choker and wrapper" at sardine factories. "Sometimes it'd be 10 o'clock at night before we'd get done. We'd go into work at eight in the morning. By the time we got home and got turned over in bed it was time to get up again," she recalled. Kathleen has been a Democrat her entire adult life. Waldo, originally a Republican , turned Democrat. "She converted me," he said. They remain up to speed on current events. Kathleen reads the newspaper every day, and she thinks the war in Iraq is "scandalous." "Somebody ought to take Bush and wring his neck, and I might be the one to do it," she said with a sparkle in her eye. I dont know her but I love her.

I have a brother

I have a brother. I have never really blogged about him because we have a complicated relationship. He is 12 years older than I am and to be truthful we are complete opposites in every aspect of life. He has lived a high rollers life of Aspen in the winter, Vegas in the spring et cetera. The only problem is that he is NOT wealthy, he has just lived as though he were. Now he is sick and has nothing to fall back on. No money, no health insurance and not too many people that want to be around him for any length of time because he can be very obnoxious. It makes me very sad but on the other hand there are so many things that he did or didn’t do that caused him to be like this that it is hard to feel too much sympathy while at the same time, loving him because he is my brother. When our mom was dying he was trying to "score" with his soon to be second ex wife and they hopped a plane, headed to California…she had never been there…and I sat in shock watching our mom die while I was cradling my 6 week old baby that was finally born healthy after the pregnancy from hell. Oh, he DID call every day to ask how she was doing..the conversations went something like this: Him: How is she. Me: Awful. I can barely recognize her. The resident perforated her colon today doing a colonoscopy because they saw a "spot" of blood in her underwear. She has kidney failure, is headed for sepsis, is conscious on the vent and they had to do a fasciotomy in both lower legs so they wouldn’t explode. She is so sick that they may have to open her up to replace the graft they put in last year for her AAA that has become grossly infected because it is synthetic and antibiotics won't help. The ICU nurses are angels sent from heaven and have been doing their best to make her comfortable even confronting some of the docs that have written her off. Him: Okay. Well, let me know if there is anything I can do. Me: Yeah, whatever. Hope you are enjoying your trip. (You worthless motherfucker. I am here watching the woman that has supported you your entire worthless life both emotionally and financially. Don’t worry about stopping by, my C-section barely hurts anymore and son#1 is such a great toddler that he doesn’t even mind that he is spending his days in a hospital waiting room since they have building blocks. ) Okay.. I didn’t actually say that but I wanted to more than you can imagine). Him: Oh, good. I will check in with you tomorrow. Do you think she is really sick? Do you want me to come back east? Me: You do whatever you have to do to live with yourself. (I can’t believe you are even asking..she is our mother you asshole..where else should you be??!!..again thought but not said). At one time I wondered if I was being too hard on him. Maybe he didn’t handle stress well, and when I talked to several friends and Big D, they looked at me like I had lost my mind. None of them could comprehend how his head had gotten so far up his ass. They all knew my mom and what an amazing woman she was. I think before she died my mom summed up my brother in very few words…. "I am starting to see traits of his father in him" . For my mom that was a loaded statement and she was very sad when she said it. (For the record my father was also an asshole. He was a violent drunk and the smartest and bravest thing my mom did was divorce him in a time in history when divorce was not the norm…and she was catholic to boot.) Anyway, what started this whole post is that my brother is sick and has nobody. He has kids that have a very at-arms-length- relationship though they love him. Like I said, it is very complicated. He is too young for Medicare, has no insurance and tons of health problems (some of which can be attributed to smoking, drinking, and lifestyle) and not one doctor will touch him. He has been "dismissed" by more than one doctor…I can't blame them, I am sure they are afraid he will sue if he isn't "cured". He is always looking for a way to make a quick buck and it is obvious. He was in the hospital a couple of weeks ago for nothing life threatening but I had flashes of him going downhill at some point and wondering who would be there for him….even with our complicated history, I wouldn’t hesitate to be there for him, sit with him and be sure he wasn’t alone. Ironically one of his kids lives 15 minutes from him but can't seem to make the time to visit…hmmmm, like father like son??

VOTE FOR ME!

Okay gang~~Show me the love. I entered one of our kitties in a contest for lifetime TV...if you click this link and give me a 10 I am entered to win $1000.00 ~~ of course I would share :) Hey I gotta get the kid through college somehow. http://lifetimetv.com/photos/cats/rate.php?id=122203

My week in review

This week has been a roller-coaster of emotions. On Monday I got a call from my doctor telling me that my second pap was abnormal like my previous one a few weeks ago. I immediately got sick to my stomach with thoughts of cervical cancer and dying before my kids were all grown and visions of the Big D (which is what I will now call my husband here-some days it is Big Dave, Big Don, Big Darren, Big Dreamy but quite often it is Big Dick so depending on my mood Big D always seems to fit) finally getting that trophy wife that I am sure he fantasizes about. So, now my next step is to find an OB/Gyn that is on my insurance and pray they know what the hell is going on and don’t pussy foot (no pun intended) around and either take all these old rotten parts out or find out exactly why things have gone abnormal in the past year. On Wednesday Big D left for a 4-5 day trip with a busload of drunks headed to a St. Patrick’s day parade 15 hours from here (he plays in a bagpipe band). Sometimes I go on these trips but with 3 kids here at home and nobody around to stay with them and the fact that it costs an ass load more money if I go too (his room is split between guys if they bunk together but if I go I draw the line at his band-mates snoring in the next bed). Obviously it costs a lot less to send only one of us and since I am not in a band, he is the obvious choice. Normally when these rare trips come up and I am not going I have planned weeks in advance to paint rooms, refinish furniture, et cetera but this time it is a good thing that I didn’t. I have barely had time to brush my teeth. I spent all day Friday with son #1 on a college visit. As I said in a previous post he was accepted 3 places. The school we visited on Friday is his first choice and by the time we were ready to leave he had pretty much committed to that school. Today in the mail he gets a letter from his second choice offering him a full ride to the tune of $40,000.000 a year. Shit. I don’t want this to be about money. His first pick has an outstanding architecture program with a Masters in 5 years with the last year spent in Florence Italy and a 90%, yes 90%, employment percentage within 3 months of graduation. Sounds pretty good to me and would obviously be a great fit for him….but the other school with 40 freakin thousand a year, that is really hard for a miserly bitch like me to sneeze at. So, the drama continues…at least till I see if his first choice may cough up some bucks..that would make it a lot easier to not feel ripped off. Also yesterday, son # 3 asked if he could have a party. I said no. He is only 12 but thinks he is about 17. We compromised and I told him he could have a "few" kids over. We finally agreed on 7 and amazingly it ended up being 3 boys (4 with him) and 4 girls. Honest to God, I have NEVER heard 8 kids make so much noise in my life! Thankfully it was only for 2 hours but by the end of that time I was ready to hang every one of them upside down and staple their toes to the wall. I have to say it was an equal opportunity noisy crowd, the girls were squealing and the boys were wrestling. I tried numerous tricks to get them all quieted down, games, movies, food, they only worked for about 45 seconds and they were back at it. But, the real kicker of the night is that son #3 had his FIRST KISS. One of the girls that came over was a little shy, very pretty, sweet girl and it turns out she and son have been crushing on each other for about 2 months. Well last night he laid a big lip lock on her and lived to tell about it. He was on cloud 9 and didn’t even complain when I told him that he had to clean up the mess when they all left. His feet were barely touching the ground. So my week has gone from fear of cancer, jealously of Big D having a grand time without me, seeing my 18 year old "baby" beaming walking around his probable home for the next 5 years to my youngest having his first kiss. If I were a drinking girl, this St. Patty’s day would be a real humdinger. Son #1 and son #2 are with their friends tonight and son #3 is at a sleep over. I should be enjoying the peace and quiet but here I sit feeling sorry for myself. Tonight I feel like I am just an extra appendage that doesn’t belong anywhere important. Here is to my one person pity party~cheers.

not even a clever title

What a week. I have been very good about reading all my (too many;) blogs. I have not had time to post though. Lets see…since my last post husband is better but not back to normal..somehow this has become my fault. Don’t ask. Son #1 has pretty much decided on a college. He applied to 3, got into all and had to weigh all the options. One school is about $8,000 a year for tuition, another is around $9000 and the third is $39,000. I am trying not to push any of them but the $39,000 one almost made me choke on my tongue. Mind you this is BEFORE room and board and he is the first of 3 kids. We can either decide to blow the whole enchilada on one kid and tell the others-sorry outa luck, go into debt with a loan that you will be paying off till you have grandchildren, or we can hope that one of the other schools has the best program for what he wants to study. Fifteen years ago we invested in real estate and our plan was to sell our house when college time rolled around, buy a smaller place and get rid of expenses other than the basics. We have been living in a very large house in a beautiful neighborhood. Unfortunately in this price range homes are not selling so we are going to plan b. Oh, wait, we were young and stupid and didn’t have a plan b. I am typically a glass half full kinda girl and I also believe that all things work out the way they should. I learned a long time ago not to wonder when and why because things in my life have pretty much worked out the way they were meant to be, good or bad, there is usually a reason. Yesterday while at his last season basketball game son#3 got hurt and what was to be a quick afternoon of 2 basketball games ended up a very long day with a trip to the ER for an x-ray..thankfully nothing was broken but he is pretty sore today. THEN this morning, son #2 who also had a game yesterday, woke up telling me that his wrist really really hurt. I took a look and it doesn’t take a radiologist to see that his hand is sure sitting at a funny angle. Apparently the play that I missed (gabbing with another players mom) was when his fist went into the concrete wall. I have a feeling we may end up with another x-ray for our family this weekend…wonder if they give frequent flyer discounts. So to sum up the weekend, if any of you are radiologists that would like to buy a very large home, give me a heads up. Sorry for the boring post I feel drained and not the least bit clever this morning. I will take my happy pills and be back later~

marriage vows

Marriage vows. How seriously should they be taken? For the most part I agree with them though I didn’t agree to obey hubby. I rarely obey anyone. I am very easy going till someone gives me a direct order, especially given with a shitty tone, then I rebel. I do agree with the forsaking all others part..no sense in spreading icky diseases except back and forth between the two of you. The one part that I find I am having trouble with is the in sickness and in health part. Now mind you, I have willingly and with much love nursed hubby through a nearly fatal MRSA infection after a "routine" arthroscopy at our local hospital. This is a very long story that I will post at another time…this MRSA is a scary thing. Anyway, I digress. You see hubby is home with what seems like a pretty crappy case of bronchitis, lots of mucus and wheezing going on here these days. I have been a dutiful wife, bringing cheer and the occasional chicken soup to his bedside, rarely letting him see me recoil when he spews disgusting fungi every time he coughs. My problem?…I draw the line when he is sleeping on MY PILLOW! He sees nothing wrong with using mine if it can make him more comfortable. Mind you this is a man that has 4, yes 4, pillows. I have 1. When I went to bed last night my soft feather pillow that allows me to sleep peacefully was under his snot ridden head. Thankfully he had to get up to go to the bathroom and I scooped up my pillow, went to the closet and put 2 new pillow cases on it, after removing the one that was his viral catch basin. I then went to bed half pissed because I wondered if the germs had worked their way into the interior feathers and I was going to get sick even with new pillow cases. This morning when I got up I performed a very sneaky maneuver. As I arose slowly, I "accidentally" dropped my pillow off my side of the bed (the floor HAS to be cleaner than hubby at this point). I think he is probably sick enough that he won’t go looking for my pillow but just in case, I am headed to Bed Bath and Beyond this morning to buy myself a new pillow and some sort of pillowcase that he would hate to have under his snotty head. Mind you I am not a Howie Mandel type of germiphobe but in my opinion under no circumstances should a person ever use another persons pillow, toothbrush, underwear, and I will even go as far as not sharing eating utensils or double dipping a half chewed chip or carrot back into a community dip bowl~~it is just gross. My kids share my feelings, (momma has taught them well) and will verbally chastise anyone they see committing any of the germ sins.

The rambling queen

I like to believe that I am fairly intelligent. Blogger makes me feel stupid. I finally switched to "new" blogger because I couldn't leave witty, intelligent, thought provoking and eloquent responses on some blogs and I know these folks are wondering where I went. I am almost certain that they can't begin their days without my wisdom. SO, for those folks I have switched and I pray that this enables me to impart my vast years of knowledge in response to their blogs. It is snowing again. I really need a vacation. Hubby is being an ass. Sons are whiny and believe the world revolves around them. My bills are higher than my income. Son #2 got his first ticket and has to go to court (I hope it costs him a bunch to teach the little shit that YES, RULES DO APPLY TO HIM TOO, and I am not paying one single dime). The puppy is chewing everything in site, including some receipts I need for our taxes. Britney is a train wreck and her loser husband is looking like the better parent. scary. I need to clean my office. I can't remember the last time I saw a grown-up movie at a theater so the Oscar's mean nothing to me. Denny came back on Grey's last night-he is very very hot. The above paragraph proves either I need a vacation or medication..not sure which...or maybe both :)

Will power

Will power This is something that I used to have. Somewhere along the way it was either stolen or misplaced because I don’t have it any more. I have a personal goal to lose a bunch of weight before this summer since I am going to be forced to wear a bathing suit on a vacation that I desperately need. Tonight when I picked up son #3 from his basketball practice he happened to mention that he was a little bit STARVING TO DEATH. Even though I was pretty sure he was exaggerating slightly he was relentless and we ended up swinging through the golden arches. I personally haven't eaten any fast food in months and didn’t plan on having any this time either. When we pulled up to the sign the little man inside asked what I wanted…I was immediately spellbound by his slightly graveled tone and his rippling Ab’s—oh wait, that part was in my head. Anyway, I thought that since they have all these things for only a buck and I had 8 to spare I would get some things off the dollar menu to bring home for the other bottomless pit children for their midnight snack (the one before their 2 am snack). As we were pulling away with a bag of relatively warm double cheeseburgers I nonchalantly stuck my hand in the bag and managed to unwrap and devour a double cheeseburger without even removing my other hand from the wheel. As that first squirt of salty greasy meat slithered across my tongue and down my throat I was torn by orgasmic proportions of happiness and nauseating disgust for my lack of will power. If I didn’t hate puking, I would consider bulimia (no offense or disrespect to any of you skinny bitches that do this on a regular basis, I just hate puking). So, tomorrow I will have to somehow forgive myself and maybe pray that it will be sweatshirt weather in July in Florida.

out my window

This is happening out my window today. We have actually had about 6-8 more inches since I took these pix earlier this morning. Needless to say, the kids are home again. If they get another snow day tomorrow they will be off for the next 5 since they already have off Fri and Mon. Obviously it was fun at first but now I am losing my mind, or what is left of it. Son#2 thinks--yippee..no school, I am going to take mom's car and drive all over northeast Ohio doing donuts in parking lots..it aint happenin kid. So, because of his obnoxious mouth, annoying attitude and relentless whining that the world belongs to him, I grounded him....take that you little shit. The only problem with that is that having him out of the house for the day would be A WHOLE LOT more fun for me that seeing him sulk around every corner. It is days like this that I have to remember my infertile years and how I would cry every time I saw a baby. I should have been picturing them as teenagers.

One Mother busted

I just found out that one of my favorite blogs has had to shut down because the blogger was busted by one of her kids. Damn kids, they ruin everything. I only hope that this blogger knows she still has many of us out here that can relate to her horrible past year and will still be wondering how she is doing. My kids don't know I blog...they know I read them but not that I have one. I am not sure how they would react...actually they would probably not care too much and if anything, would call me dumb or stupid and would NEVER understand why I need to vent here. They just aren't that deep. Remember these are guys that have no clue why women love flowers, cry at love stories, keep drawings from when the kids were in kindergarten or anything remotely sentimental. I am doing my damned best to raise these males with some sort of sensitivity but it is much like a salmon swimming up stream..by the time I get there I will die.

random thoughts

For those of you that are wondering...Harley is doing great. I am soooo glad that I followed my gut and got another pup. He isn't replacing Tucker but he is becoming a new member of the family in his own way. Here are a couple photos to show you how we treat animals that become family members..yeah, we are a bit over the top. The pillow is son #2.

Our phone rang a bit ago and it was our school systems computer generated calling system to let us know that the kids don't have school tomorrow...it is too damn cold! I honestly do get it...the kids that have to walk etc but I don't ever remember having school closed for much of anything when I was a kid. Yeah, I know " I used to walk 150 miles barefoot across jagged glass in my day"...no gramps it wasnt quite that bad but I lived in an area of the country that we had snow from halloween till Easter and not much stopped us from getting where we needed to go. Right now I think it will be fun having the boys home tomorrow...ask me again about 10 am when they are really annoying me. As I sit here in the blissful peace and quiet of my office there is a group of males of various ages sitting in my family room watching the game. As I have established in previous posts, I don't care much for football so I encouraged husband to invite his best buddy over with his kid that is friends with son #3. I cooked alot of artery clogging food then retreated to the warmth and comfort of my office and back to back episodes of Monk. For some reason, I totally get that guy.

Actually I have no business sitting here blogging (and I just added another 3 blogs to my list of ones I will keep reading~~I would show you my blog roll, but I can't figure out how to do that). I have about 3 hours of actual work to do that needs to be done by 7 am....just can't seem to get interested right now. I think I will wander upstairs, crank up the electric blanket and call it a night. The work will still be there when I get up and what would take me 3 hours tonight will only take me about an hour when I am actually functioning in the morning :)

nitey nite.