Rating your caretaker

As I eluded to in my last, brief, yet very descriptive post, I was sidelined with a gastrointestinal plague earlier in the week. I was IN BED for 36 hours. The last time I did that was 19 years ago and was rewarded with a snot filled rugrat for my trouble. This time, not only tortured my body, but also my spirit. I am not a good sick person. I get cranky when I don’t feel well. All I wanted to do was sleep between dashes to the el inodoro. I was even too sick to read and watching TV was getting boring. Plus since I am on a 90-day-new employee probation at the new job, and had to take a sick day, when they are asking a minimum of 2-3 hours of overtime per day, and 8 additional hours on the weekend, I was worried the intestinal queen was going to have to go job hunting. To say they were not happy with me when I called, would be an understatement. She made it perfectly clear that EVERYONE is to work these additional hours because the company landed a big account and wants to look good. Okay. The boss in ME is thinking..hmm, how long were you in negotiations with LARGE MEDICAL CENTER? Were you caught completely unaware that you would need staffing to cover the ginormous increase in work volume. You do know that people are looking for work all over don’t you? I know this is a job that requires special training but there are tons of people out there that can do this. So , they are sending out nastygrams to all of us that work there, telling is we have to put in mandatory OT. I called and tried to nicely explain that I am new, and accepted the part-time position for a reason. I have NO desire to work for them 7 days a week as I have a family and another job and would actually like to do a load of laundry now and then. Their answer……tough. Too bad. You have to do this. So, I am thinking I may want to keep looking for another position. (But then the realist in me looks at the checkbook and sends a shock to my lazy ass and tells me to shut the hell up and get back to work..who turns down work in this economy…et cetera. I just need a freakin break already…and the 36 hours in bed this week do not count, as I was not having fun). So actually none of that has anything to do with the title of my post. What I planned on expounding upon was how some people are natural caregivers and some are not. I was born taking care of people and animals. I believe my time on earth is to be the one that takes care of everyone else. I didn’t pick this job, it seemed to pick me. I am the one that goes out in my sox, into wet grass,(AND I HATE WET GRASS) to snag the collar of all the random dogs and cats that find their way to my yard. It causes mad chaos amongst my menagerie when they know I am outside with “a potential intruder” animal. I usually end up in my car returning the animal to the stupid owner that lets it wander aimlessly all over and poop in my yard. There are a couple of frequent fliers that know their way home so over time we have learned to just wave/wag to each other and move on. But, that isn’t what my title is about either. See, by Wednesday, when I still was having monstrous belly pain, it actually made me cry, I got S3 on bus and went back to the bed for a minute to recuperate (sitting watching for a bus for 3-4 minutes can be exhausting you know), and when I laid down BigD heard me cry. This is not something I do lightly, or often. In between gentle sobs I told him I was worried about getting fired, we would starve to death, lose our home, have the kids repossessed, and have to live in squalor-with toothless neighbors. He insisted on taking a sick day to stay home and care for me. This was 7:30 in the morning. Ya coulda knocked me over with a feather. But hell, who am I to argue? I had visions of warm chicken broth being served, maybe a little soothing back rub, or at the very least sympathy. I told him I had to pop back into my office to send off some work I had done and that I would be back. At that point, he fell back to sleep, and slept till I woke him at 11:30. I told him how touched I was by his concern and asked him to please keep his snoring down a tad. Later, he said he would run to the store and get something for himself and S3 to have for dinner. I had informed him that the thought of buying food, much less cooking and SMELLING it would probably cause my death. He ran to the bank for me (oh, but he forgot to deposit my check so I am waiting for some checks I wrote to bounce now, adding a $39 fee each time) and then he went to the store. The following is a list of the items he brought home: 1.) 3 boxes of instant pudding (none of which are flavors I like-but he didn’t know that, we have only been married almost 28 years~~but hey HE really likes pistachio). 2.) A raw salmon filet (yum, when one has been sick, nothing says I love you like raw fish) 3.) Milk. ( I haven’t had milk since I was 6 and was forced to drink it, plus there is that pesky lactose intolerance thing I have had ALL MY LIFE) 4.) Toasted macaroon cookies (coconut is good for hematochezia isn’t it?) 5.) Lets not forget the large bag of tortilla chips. They will come in handy . When S3 asked him what he got for dinner, I saw the look on his face that said “Oh, shit, I didn’t even think about dinner” but was came out of his mouth was “Oh, I thought we could think about that at dinner time” (it was 5:00 then…did he mean dinner time next week?) So, I turned around, walked back to the bedroom. S3 ended up making himself a couple of grilled cheese sandwiches, self sufficient lad that he is. As for BigD, all I know is that when I came downstairs the next morning, the entire pack of macaroons was gone. Don’t even get me started on what the kitchen looked like.

vomit

and other extreme bodily malfunctions...since Monday...send help. (or at least advice seeing how I think my doctor is a turd and I don't trust her)--and yes, I am getting a second opinion from a GI specialist next week that I DO trust. Send me your good vibes. (Shit. I hate it when I am even too sick to make a decent post other than whining.)

IWONIWONIWONIWON

Thanks to a group of "ladies", and one lucky bastard, at the blog below, I am the winner of a contest. Do you have any idea how often this happens to me? Pretty much never. Though I did get struck by lightening once...but I guess that probably wasn't actually a good/winning type thing. Anyway, if you like scandalously loose, lunch drinking, wild women, you will love my new BFF's. Hey ladies..bottoms up! www.scandaloushousewife.net Oh....and if anyone can tell me why, when I put links like this on my blog, they do not highlight, please help. I have found that people are too freaking lazy to copy/paste and would prefer a more direct click. **** UPDATE*** MUCHO thanks to the lovely and brilliant DD--I tried what she recommended and it freaking worked. Dear DD...you are very smart and Mr DD is a lucky bastard also. (I never realized that phrase would not only win me shit, but also fit so appropriately in so many places!)

Inappropriate for a religious day

But I had to share. Usually my brother sends me dumb emails that are degrading and disgusting and borderline on his perversion with boobs. Today, he finally sent me something that made me laugh. I have no idea how to get this so you can just click on it and it goes there....so you will need to copy the stupid thing into your browser...I promise that extra 2 seconds of your time will be worth it :) (I scanned for viruses because of brothers boob perversion and this is free of cooties). http://webmail.aol.com/41757/aol/en-us/mail/get-attachment.aspx?uid=1.23242540&folder=Inbox&partId=4&saveAs=HoleInOne.wmv

Who doesn't love Target

Whether you pronounce it TAR-GET or my preferred TAR-JAY (ala french), either way, there is a clever writer holding a contest for her 400th post. Head on over and check her out....and while you're at it, enter her contest. http://chasedbychildren.typepad.com

Bittersweet

If you are a parent, your one goal in life, is to raise, happy, healthy, self-sufficient beings to adulthood. Nobody ever told me how hard it would be to let them go once they got there. S1 came home for a surprise 24 hour visit. He called from a few miles down the road, said he was almost here and asked what was in the fridge. (the last part is standard operating procedure). I could tell he wanted to tell me something. I could see it in his eyes. First I asked if he was OK. He assured me he was fine, great in fact. He had news of the "I met a girl" variety, then he landed the boom. He has decided that this summer, he will not be coming home. He is staying in college town, getting a job there (one that he can continue to work even into the school year) and he is moving to a house with 3 other guys. I know they can't keep coming home forever but when they start to "officially" leave...and have a REAL life..it is bittersweet. It is what we worked so hard to accomplish all these years..isn't it? As I sit here at my desk, getting ready to work, I am really loving the creaking of the floor above me, in the room that he will not be sleeping in this summer, knowing that at least till this afternoon, I will be able to hear him padding around up there. (Okay..I know that he isn't moving to the outer limits, he will still be about an hour from home, but it still isn't the same, so allow me my pity party...just for today.) Also, I have to work a mandatory 8 hours of overtime today..what the hell is that about?? I was self-employed forever so this is a real shock to my lazy system. Also, BigD is going out this evening to a fundraiser for his "band". They have it every year, and every year I choose to stay home. It is too loud, the smell of beer in the place is overwhelming and I usually get more and more pissed at the night rolls on. So, I will be here, alone, licking my wounds. It might be time for me to go buy a chocolate cake, sit in bed, watch movies and stuff my face. Sounds like a plan.

Joke of the day

One of my less reserved friends sent me this joke today...I wish I could credit the writer but I have no idea who it is....Jerry~is it you?? In honor of the mother of the octuplets, Denny's is offering a new breakfast meal called the Suleman: You get fourteen eggs, no sausage, and the guy next to you has to pay the bill.

diet anyone?

Somebody spilled.

Blogher 2009 anyone?

So, I have been sitting here contemplating my navel, thinking about all the places that I have never been, all the places that BigD has gone with "the guys" and thinking that maybe I need to go somewhere. Usually I am very content when he goes on his guy weekend or work seminars etc. Actually I relish the time alone...no cooking, no cleaning...hell I can turn into trailer trash if I want. But...I have been thinking that I would like to see Chicago. I have heard it is great and there is a rumor going around that there are going to be some fun ladies there this July. Any of you fun ladies going? I am seriously considering it. I think it would be good for BigD to spend a couple days at home taking care of things, and S1 and S2 would probably be here too...maybe a few days without old mom would do them some good. So, convince me that I should go.

My problems are small

There is a blog I have been following for quite some time now. Actually it is 3 blogs, mom, dad and Gavin each have one and they each give you a different view of their story. This is a young family that is dealing with a very difficult situation. Some days I am almost afraid to go to their posting to see what has happened since the last time. If you need a dose of reality, in getting your own "problems" in perspective, pop over and read their story and maybe send them a cyber hug. They can always use them. http://gavinowens.blogspot.com/

Shaking my head

Well folks....wanna hear what I got for Valentines Day? I am going to tell you anyway. NADA, ZIPPO, ZILCH, not even a "will you be mine?". Now guess was BigD got. A new car. Today. In about an hour. The evolving drama of S1's broken car and his needs for transportation brought out the kid in BigD. He (all on his own) decided that we should let S1 use our REALLY OLD-we are talking 12 years old folks-car. It is in amazing shape, has very low mileage and if taken care of will last many more years. So, BigD decides that we are going to let the kid use this car and BigD went out today, hooked up with a car dealer buddy and hammered out a sweet deal on a new (3 year old) vehicle. I have a 4 year old car that we owe nothing on and the old beast has been paid off forever so with the stimulus BS and rebates and buddy hookups this really should be affordable (the big guy is working OT for the payments) and the little boy in him has a new toy. Guess he won't need sex tonight.

Final diagnosis

Not good. S1's car is DOA unless SOMEONE can come up with $1500 to fix it. As far as I am concerned it isn't worth it. The car has over 150,000 miles on it and I think if SOMEONE is going to come up with $1500 it should be put toward a "new" car. (Of course, I know absolutely nothing about cars, except how to drive them). Does anyone know what a head gasket is? Is the the gasket that is in charge of all the other lesser working class gaskets? Well, his is broken and apparently like humpty dumpty, it can't be put together again. He also has a leaky exhaust (I have that after eating beans sometimes) and his spark plugs are not sparking or plugging I guess. So we have a very pissed off 20 year old, who is being greatly inconvenienced and is basically 'grounded' until he gets some wheels. He then told me he may drop one of his classes so he has time to work. This I am NOT thrilled about. It is a foreign language class that will almost guarantee him the job he wants as it is a very specific language that is much needed in the international government arena where he wants to work. When he started there were over 30 kids in the class, there are now 6. How come this parenting thing is so damn hard? I had to literally take a walk to keep away from my computer~~~to stop myself from looking for a car for him. I am sooo damn bad about wanting to do EVERYTHING for everybody. I need to learn how to step back but I don't have ANY experience in that department. I think I am this way because my own mom was so helpful to me till I was out on my own after college. This is the only way I have ever known how to parent. I have been deeply engrossed in the boys lives from day one and for the most part it has served me very well....they talk to me, the trust me, and share their lives with me. The only drawback is that I feel so guilty. (This is all ME...they do not make me feel this way...in fact they tell me that I worry too much about them, but they know it is out of love and caring, not anything else) I feel like I NEED to help whenever and however I can and knowing that I can't (financially) is really hard on me. Especially with S1. He is my fragile one, yet the one with the most potential to succeed in life greatly and I don't want that delayed. He deserves it. That last part sounds like I am showing a preference for him over the others. It is not that. The other two are very laid back, happy-go-lucky and will be successful in whatever they choose to do, by the mere fact that they chose it. S1 is special in different ways and will crumble if his life goal isn't within reach. Well...I am just starting to ramble now. I am so glad I discovered blogging. Sometimes writing out my thoughts helps me put things that are emotional into perspective. Thanks for hearing me out.

*UPDATED Being a bitch or encouraging self sufficiency?

I can’t decide which I am doing right now. Oldest son called from college in a panic this morning. He lives off campus and his car is “broken”. I don’t know diddley about cars so for me to describe it would be as effective as me trying to explain how tons of jetliner can stay up the air without falling. So…I won’t go into that part of the story but here is my question…well, I will get to the question in a minute, first I need to lay some foundation. Oldest son has a bit of a worst case scenario personality. If something is wrong, in his interpretation it is REALLY wrong. If he is sick, he goo*gles till he is sure he has malaria. This is not a good trait unless he applies it towards his classes and then it makes him a fabulous student. He wants to succeed so he does. I have mentioned before..he is freakishly bright and that is not just a proud momma talking. Anyway, he calls telling me in a somewhat frantic voice that his car is his “life line” and how can he possibly “survive” without it. (I casually mention that the university shuttle does travel down his road but that was met with “it doesn’t go by all the time, only about once an hour”…to which I think…..yeah, so sit your butt down and wait for it like a regular person….but he isn’t a regular person. He is a man with a plan and doesn’t like diversion. He lives for structure and routine. So, he calls the local Ford dealership (mistake #1 son, don’t ever call a dealership…they are very expensive) and makes an appointment for today and wants me to come to university town to follow him there with his “broken” car then take him over to university and wait till he finishes classes at 5, return him to the dealership to pick up the car, ohhhhh AND pay for it too. I almost fell for it without even thinking. He is my child that I would walk on the hottest coals for (I would walk hot coals for the other two as well, but they don’t have the same exacting personality as oldest does and they go with the flow whereas oldest has a very low threshold for stress and needs more structure in his day/life. I decided as I was showering to leave that I would call the dealership myself and see what they had to say. They informed me that running the diagnostics would be $114. THAT IS BEFORE ANY ACTUAL REPAIR/LABOR WOULD EVEN COMMENCE. I about crapped. I took it upon myself to call a local car repair place in university town and he told me they charge $65 and if they can tell what is wrong by popping the hood, they wouldn’t charge the diagnostic fee. Sounds good to me. I called oldest back and told him what I had done and that he needed to call local repair man and make an appointment there. I intervened but still made him do some legwork. He called me back and told me they couldn’t fix it till Wednesday and good lord, today was only Monday…he may just shrivel up and die by then. How would he get groceries? How would he eat dinner? How would he take out this new girl he has been seeing? The intelligent person in me wants to tell him to suck it up and deal with it. Shit happens. That is exactly what I would do if this same event happened with the other two boys. So I am straddling the fence here. How much do I help? How much do I let him figure it out without stressing him out to the point where he can’t study? Since I am working from home, BigD and I could share one car for a few days so I am thinking about letting oldest use one of our cars. This would be a lot easier if he were at a school too far away to even consider this, but he is about 45 minutes from here. What do I do? Be honest, I need some real people thoughts here. At age 20 should I still be intervening or telling him to figure it out? * Well the world hasn't collapsed around him. I already knew what I had to do, it is just hard to let go and let him handle things. Ironically he is very mature for his age in most areas but some, the ones that change his routine or cause him inconvenience, set him off. He worked part-time for 2 years in high school to buy his car (it had 140,000 miles on it when he got it two years ago) so it means quite a bit to him having his own wheels, plus living off campus means a little extra hoofing to get around. He ended up taking the car to the second place, leaving it there and catching a bus to class. He is annoyed but dealing with it. Hopefully he will have it back by midweek and it will be one more thing in his 'I took care of it myself' column. Thank you all for the smack upside my head reminding me that my job really is to let him learn and keep an arms distance. As for helping him pay for the repair, it is something I really need to do. He is taking an accelerated program at school and really doesn't have time to work with his class load. He is trying to graduate in 2 1/2 years instead of 4....so mom will type a little faster for a couple weeks to help him out.

just one more

This is a wonderfully creative (short 1:20) piece from a 20 year old....I love it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=42E2fAWM6rA

Little bit of love

If this doesn't warm your heart on a cold February morning....well my friend, you must have a heart of stone. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rooyt3ptNco (you may have to copy/paste as my linky thingy isn't working)

much needed levity

I almost quit my new job this morning. I am having a real problem with the company not being very streamlined. When I am doing a job, any job, I do it right. Being methodical and precise is part of who I am so when I have to deal with people that are supposed to be management I expect them to ACT like management. Twice in the past two days I have gotten emails from people that completely contradict each other. I called today and could only speak with a third individual that told me to listen to management A and ignore management B. Ok..but its my ass on the line if B is the one with clout. I can't imagine someone going into this particular job/company without years of experience as they don't bother to take even one day to provide any type of instruction. They have their own operating system that has all sorts of quirks and subtleties and even as recently as today (my 5th day with them) I discovered that there are F key prompts that I could be using....I can't believe they don't do at least a short demo for part of a day when a newbie starts! I have been thrown in the deep end of the pool and nobody has pointed out where the water wings are. Very frustrating. Anyway...in the midst of a mini meltdown this morning, I clocked out for my 15 minute break (15 minutes per 5 hour shift) and checked my email. My wonderful husband had sent me the following in an email. It made me laugh when I really needed one. The subject line reads: "How do you know when someones butt smells?" Feel free to click on the image to enlarge :) Gotta love that man.

Helloooooooo

Nope I haven't fallen off the face of the earth. I simply started my new job. How is it going you ask?? Well, if you are a physician you need to take heed to what I am about to say. Since the day I graduated from college I have worked in some area of medical care/testing. I have worked with physicians that are outstanding and some that scare the crap out of me. This post really has nothing to do with their intelligence..it has to do with their mouths, and what is in them when they are talking. For the past 10+ years I have transcribed records dictated by you. As you know these are medical/legal documents and I take pride in knowing that I have been providing you with these documents that cover your butt should you ever be reviewed or, god forbid, sued. But, this is a two way street, see, you have to speak in a language that I understand. If English is your second language then try to use the words in such a way that they sound remotely like English. It took me quite a long time earlier this week to realize that "puhdud" meant period. There is a growing list of words now that are new to me...well not really, I know the English versions of those words but your version, not so much. Taking a breath now and then, or even pausing when you come to the end of a thought is a nice touch. Also, if you could refrain from eating the double whopper and Slurpee while talking, that would be nice too. Oh, and when you belch or fart, yeah, I can hear that too. I have been spoiled for the past 10 years with clients that I have known forever and I know what they are going to say before they even know. I specifically targeted, ok profiled--I admit it, physicians that I knew locally. I still love you guys. Last night one of you sent me work that was so quick and easy that when I calculated what I made using an hourly scale...it was hovering around $30 an hour. I love you Dr. S. My new job is with a big teaching medical center. The cases are fascinating and much more involved than my local, FMD, Ortho, Uro etc. These patients are the sickest of the sick and my morbid personality really enjoys all the details. I am sick, I admit it. The other thing that you non physician people need to know is simply TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF! I have spent the last 3 days listening to list upon list of illnesses that could be prevented, or at least postponed, by not smoking, not gorging yourself with fat and actually moving your body around a bit each day. It is CRAZY how many 50 year old's are in horrid enough shape that they are ending up in ER's all over the place with total blockage in their main coronary artery (they call it the widow maker for a reason people). Even after all these years it still blows my mind that people recovering from heart attacks still choose to smoke. (I sometimes wonder if a head CAT scan would be in order to see if they actually DO have brains). So, if I only pop in a few times a week for awhile, this is why. See, I get paid by production (kinda like the 9 year old working in the factory in Bangladesh) so my little fingers are flying on my keyboard for 5 hours each day and when I am done....well, typing a post isn't high on my list. I am sure after a couple of weeks of getting used to the numbness I will be back in full force. Oh hell, who am I kidding....even pain can't keep me from giving my opinion on just about everything. But, don't even get me started on the octuplet lady with 6 kids already at home under the age of 7.She is craaaazy. PUHDUD!

For your viewing pleasure

I am trying something new. Almost 2 years ago Santa brought a Flip video camera to the family and other than high school graduations there really wasn't too much on it. I have decided to use it more and today seemed like a good day to shake off the cobwebs and try it out again. Excuse the poor quality of the video...it was taken through the kitchen window. This is how we spend our time when there is no school because of snow. Poor little Cosmo. He is our little rescue beagle. His teeny little legs get so tired that S3 usually has to carry him back to the door. If you have been reading for awhile you know that he is much smaller than our last 2 dogs were..at 75 lbs and 130 lbs each...this little guy maxes out at about 20-25. ENJOY!

Conspiracy

Am I the only person in the world that didn't know about this?????? I have spent my entire life bitching every time the roll comes flying out of the box and this thing that holds the roll in place has been there the WHOLE TIME! And you know what>>>>>it is even on the plastic wrap box,,,,,yes, even the generics. Where was my mother?! This is important stuff, right up there with "no they are lying when they tell you they are only going to put it in a little bit" or "make sure you have on clean underwear". I am stunned. Conspiracy's are everywhere

Grrrrr Mr. Blogger

I have written two brilliant posts today and blogger keeps giving me an error message. SO, instead of thrilling you with witty prose, I am going to give you a couple photos from the past few days. The "boys" waiting for their turn at the controller. (Yes, I do let my dogs on the leather couch and yes I know they shouldn't be there.) When is a cake not a cake? When it is a perfectly sculpted pile of snow on my bird bath thanks to mother nature. Walking into my office. Does anyone else have OCD dogs that line up their toys? Well...that's about it for now. BigD and S3 are out till 8 so I am off to do absolutely nothing, in absolute quiet, ALL BY MYSELF.

Can't let today pass

MY President took the oath of office today. Yes, he may be the President of the entire country but today I feel as though he belongs to me. I have defended him to some members of my family that think he will ruin our nation. I have watched with immense pride as my two oldest sons voted for the first time in their lives. I am very rarely wrong in summing up an individual based on many traits and this man has scored very high on my class meter. I think he is smart. I think he is confident. I think he will effect the change that is so desperately needed to turn our country back into the country that other nations admire and not jeer. My President, if given a chance to prove himself to the naysayers, will without a doubt, be historical, and not just because of his race.

One question

Click here: YouTube - The Animal Odd Couple

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U After you look at the video...I have one question * * * * * * * * * * * how the the dog get a spinal injury in the first place? Me thinks the friendship may have been tested by a not so subtle move by the elephant....hmmmm, the untold story.

Global warming...my ass!

I really need to move. I recently discovered an island in the Caribbean named Barbuda. You must google images of this island. Go ahead, I'll wait. Someday I will live there and not here, where this morning the wind chill is 15 degrees BELOW zero. This isn't funny folks. I much prefer white sand to white snow. Ok, all you winter lovers, I think snow is beautiful, yes, I really do. If it could snow at about 72 degrees life would be great. I know I have been unusually quiet lately. I have been reading and commenting more than writing. I am in a bit of a funk. Do you ever have those times where you just feel overwhelmed by even the smallest task? I have been trying to pinpoint what the problem is, gnawing at me constantly in the back of every thought, and I think it basically all comes down to cash. I don't have enough. I was supposed to start my new job on December 1st but at that time we were in the middle of dealing with BigD's lung booger so I told them to go ahead and fill my position. Unbelievably they didn't. They held it open for me. FOR 4 WEEKS. Then I told them I just couldn't work the hours they wanted. It would take me away from S3 and all of his sports and activities that occurred between 3 pm and 8 pm and I would be working both Friday and Saturday evenings till 8. I would literally be clocking in as S3 walked in the door from school every day. As hard as it was to tell them no, I had to. I am too old to start working a grunt shift that keeps me from my family. I told them this on a Friday afternoon. On Monday they called and said they wanted me to stay with the company (this blew my mind because I hadn't even started and they were acting like I was an important part of their team) and offered me a day shift. Wow. I start this coming week and I will tell you, I can't wait to start having those paychecks deposited into my account. (I still have my regular clients but they are not enough to bring in my portion of the family chunk necessary for survival). I have a stack of bills from doctors, hospitals, college tuition x2, books, along with the usual insurance, house payments, property taxes, gas, electric, phone, etc etc etc. It will take me a very long time to get back into the position where I will be able to pay a bill when it arrives, but I have to believe that it will happen. (As a point of reference, I am known to be very frugal so we aren't talking about unnecessary expenditures here, no mani-pedi runs, no steak dinners out with friends etc. I have friends that ask me how I am able to make $1 last like $5....yes, at times I am sure they even call me cheap instead of frugal but hey, it's a talent I can't deny:) When I pay bills it feels so good to be able to cross that off the "to do" list and having them all sitting on my desk, piling up day by day, is very very stressful for me and makes me very distracted from anything joyful. AND I AM COLD. I AM NOT PLEASANT WHEN I AM COLD. So, all of you witty bloggers, keep blogging and posting your funny or thoughtful or ordinary posts and I will keep reading and escaping from my funk and for that I thank you. Love, Debbie Downer

New computer madness

For Christmas BigD got me a new computer. Well actually all the parts for a new computer. S1 built it for me last night (after returning a faulty motherboard initially). Well...S1 hates Micro*soft so when he builds computers for people he uses a Lin*ux/Ubun*tu system that is really slick. But, me being old and stuck in my ways....I am having one hell of a time getting used to this system this morning. You know, old dog-new tricks. Worst of all, none of my favorites are on this system. I am SO glad that blogger introduced me to the dashboard faves thing so I do have many of my blogs at that link but there are others that I check once in awhile so I am going to have to add them as I think of them. If you know anyone that deserves a kick ass computer with free phone tech support for life (from a really smart, self proclaimed geek) let me know. You too can be the owner of such a computer (with ridiculous processing speed--so fast it goes to the next page while I am still THINKING about clicking the mouse) for about $600-$700 bucks. (his fee, includes everything:) For work I am hoping the new system is compatible with the new employer...if not, you will probably hear my scream..wherever you are. I have a phone conference today with their Human Relations Department head. Oh crap...it's in 15 minutes...gotta run. Speaking of old dogs, I want to leave you with a challenge. Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

A complicated man

I know none of you have been able to sleep wondering if I was still po'd at BigD. Well he is out of the doghouse. I took some wise person's advice (thanks Jerry:) and told him that he really upset me when he yelled at me for helping him (after HE asked me to help). You know what??? He was clueless. He didn't even realize how bad he made me feel. Sometimes he leaves me speechless, other times I sit here and write a whole post about him. The thing about BigD is...well, he is complicated. He is the youngest of 3 sons from parents that were the epitome of their era...the 50's. Mom always had on a dress and apron (she wore pants for the first time when BigD was in high school and it was a BIG DEAL, BigD and his brothers all remember when she did that....because it was so shocking!). Dad owned his own business and came home every day for lunch and when he went back to work, Mom cleaned, did laundry and started on dinner that was served promptly at 6 pm. Dad was the king of his castle and Mom was the homemaker. Both of BigD's brothers are extremely successful in business and for some reason BigD has always had this inferiority thing going on because he changed majors in college from business to law enforcement. He took an elective in that arena and was hooked. For some reason, he feels as though he is "less successful" than his brothers. He still refers to himself as the 'blacksheep' of the family. There has always been a little bit of the youngest child complex even though they are all grown men with families. He is very lucky though, they are all still very close. There are many things that make BigD the man that he is. He adores our children (and tolerates me most of the time:) He is a bit of a Jekyll and Hyde though. At work he is a tough, no crap taking, black and white, right and wrong kind of guy. There is no shade of gray when it comes to the laws and how they are followed. He has advanced degrees in many areas of law enforcement, and could talk circles around anyone about just about anything. Why is it then that he feels like a lesser person than his brothers? It is a pride thing. He is a *gasp* civil servant, a government employee, a 'blue collar' worker. This man has pride oozing from his pores and when he is placed in a situation where he is presented in anything but a good light, he becomes a scared, angry 10 year old. Not angry in a violent way...I would never tolerate that after having an abusive father, but angry on a personal level, internalizing all his insecurities and occasionally snapping with a sharp tongue. Nobody that knows him would ever believe what I just wrote. He comes across with all the confidence of a true leader. And he is f.u.n.n.y. REALLY funny. He can get laughing to the point where he is crying and can barely breathe....watching him laugh makes everyone laugh. Being a true child of his family, it doesn't cross his mind to grab the vacuum or dust rag. I am fairly certain that he doesn't know that we own a machine that you can put dishes in dirty and they come out clean.....the same for clothes. He is not at all helpful around here but he is the first one to complain when things are not in order....which quite frankly they rarely are. With 3 sons, 2 dogs, a cat, a huge house and the fact that I work 60 hours a week...well, you get it. I can't possibly have it all done, all the time. (with the two oldest living at college things are a bit cleaner and more in order...somewhat). Anyway,,,,this is a complicated man and even after 27 years, I am still learning things about him but mostly I am learning things about myself, which for the most part, is a good thing.

marriage and other crap

Ok..so the next time I am boohooing about poor BigD losing a body part, remind me of tonight and what an asshole he is. He couldn't connect his new printer to his computer..got half way done and told me to try. I tried..it wasn't compatible with his operating system so he just needed an update. While I updated his ubuntu it froze. Soooo had to go back to square one and reinstall. I backed up his documents and proceeded to redo the system. So tonight he comes barreling into my office BITCHING that I screwed up his computer...he can't find his links to his *ahem* sites. I told him they were still there, they just weren't on the desktop. He knows NOTHING about computers except how to turn it on, click on links and open email. (Seriously he doesn't even know what blogging means.) The only reason I didn't go off on him was because S2 and S3 were there and I didn't want them hear me tell him that his porn is safe and sound and them to sneak to see what shit he looks at on gross sites. So, now he is pissed at me FOR NO REASON after he ASKED ME to install his printer that he couldn't install. WTF! On days like this it is very easy for 27 years of marriage to feel like 26 too many. He has the personality that when he doesn't know how to do something and it is pointed out to him, he gets very defensive...see he is perfect. He can't stand for flaws to be pointed out..so we don't. We tiptoe around him and yes, talk about him behind his back...cause that's what family does you know. His own mother warned me about him.."he doesn't take criticism very well, even when he was little"...I should have listened..we mothers know our sons. When he was "sick" I was his angel, could do nothing wrong, he wanted me to sleep on a chair beside his bed so I was there when he woke up, etc etc....well, looks like things are back to normal. Yep, at least for today, BigD does stand for BigDick (and not in a good way).

Referral to another blog

I am still not convinced that these are little old ladies but they sure do write insightful posts. If you haven't read any of their stuff...shoot on over there and check them out. (They especially got rolling when S.Palin was hot in the news, so if you have time to check out some of the posts from early last fall, it is worth a cup of coffee to sit yourself down and get a laugh) http://margaretandhelen.wordpress.com/2009/01/05/getting-the-bad-guys/

Life in 100 words

Teendoc sent out a challenge to write you life story in 100 words. Exactly 100. Try it. Surprise baby born when mom was almost 40. Grew up with much love from her, parents divorced when I was 5, shitty dad out of picture by age 8. Got stepfather at age 10, moved to new city, too shy to make friends=miserable. Hated snob filled private high school. After college found job, found husband, still live in town where we were married. 8 years infertile, 4 losses-all girls, have 3 sons. Built both houses lived in since married. Working hard to pay life’s bills=very stressed. Finally like myself. Very proud of sons. Mostly happily married. Wouldn’t change a thing.

A must read

The link below is to a blog that I started reading not too long ago. He is a very insightful young surgeon and I personally think this is the best New Years post I have ever read. http://ohiosurgery.blogspot.com

Good morning 2009

So what was I doing when the big ball dropped you ask? I don't remember. I am fairly certain it involved some drool and some snoring. We did manage to go to dinner with all 3 boys before the two youngest scattered to "parties" (that were mediocre at best according to the report this morning). BigD and S1 had a rousing game of scrabble in the kitchen while polishing off the gift nuts we received. Me...well, I turned on my electric blanket (I promise I will be more 'green' conscious this year but I refuse to give up the blanket suckas).I cranked the blanket up to the sweat like a whore position, grabbed the remote which is usually ensconced tightly in BigD's grip and watched mindless television with my 2 doggies snuggled up beside me. It doesn't get better than that. I hope 2009 is the best of all years for all of you. I hope your wildest dreams come true, your jobs stays stable, your bank account grows and most importantly, you are surrounded by the people that you love.