Lying to your kids

Is it wrong to lie to your kids? I have always thought it depends on the situation.As a rule I am very honest with mine..sometimes too honest. They know more things than they should because I have a tendency to expound upon any subject presented to me. The one instance that I had a continuing lie started when they were about 2 or 3. I accidentally "broke wind" (as my dear mother would say), and when they started laughing I asked what was so funny. When they said--"Mommy farted" hahahaha--I looked at them with the most serious face I could muster and told them...."No, women don't fart, we have never learned how, only boys fart". The poor innocent children believed me and from that day on, I would always blame one of them when the accidental PFFFT would be released. They believed me for YEARS! One day they came running in the door yelling for me....they proceeded to say "Mom! Girls DO FART!", Mrs C (our neighbor) apparently bent over to get something out of the oven and let one loose while the boys stood there in shock. I am sure she would be horrified if she knew that they came running home to tell me she farted...I may tell her someday.

Completely bizarre nightmare

Does anyone know why some nights are filled with bizarre nightmares? I don't know if it has to do with stress, something goofy I ate before bed or hormonal shifts--whatever it is, I wish I could make it stop! Last night I had a dream about my husband's aunt (that I have met two times, once 20 years ago and then again this summer) and my nightmare was at the reading of her will. There were so many people there and I only knew a few. It turned into an entire warehouse of things we were supposed to walk through and claim if we wanted them. I am so creeped out right now! She is old, yes, but why on earth would I dream that she had died?! The nightmare went on and on-too long to list all the details here but it was one of those times where I was really really glad when I woke up. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I miss having my Mom here to talk to. Actually I don't have any older women in my life anymore and it makes me sad. (Not only because I miss them but because I am increasingly afraid that I am becoming the older woman!) I remember a conversation I had with my Mom when I was in highschool...I was talking about grandma--her mom, and she told me she still missed her everyday-not in a morose or morbid way, just the fact that she wasn't there any more. At the time I thought, yeah, that must be yukky but I went on my way and didn't really think about it. Now I know what she meant...there is just something missing. Every time I see a Mom and daughter shopping or having lunch I want to stroll over to them and remind them to keep enjoying each other because one day it will be too late. Yep--this has definitely turned into a morbid blog...didn't mean to do that--guess it was the freaked out nightmare that got me started on this twisted path today....I promise things will lighten up next time :)

Spoiled??

I walked into my office at 6:30 a couple of days ago and this is what I saw. Apparently when my son got up for his shower before school, he thought Tucker looked uncomfortable so he gave him a pillow and blanket. (Now keep in mind that this is a very hairy dog and I seriously doubt he was cold.) Yes, we are the house that all the world's animals hope to find. The last time I went out and actually paid for a pet was about 25 years ago. Since that time we have had several adopt us, but this one, he is the special one that each family should have at least once in their lives. We had no intention of getting a dog when we got him (well, that is my husband had no intention I had been just waiting for the right time to "find" one) and a week before my birthday our little babysitter called and said she had to find Tucker a home-he was a 3 month old fur ball and at that moment I told her to "stop by" with the puppy, but it had to be in the next 17 minutes before my husband was done mowing. When she showed up Tucker ran straight to my husband who was resting in the lawn, licked him crazy and my decision was made. All I had to do was figure out a way to tell hubby that this was now OUR dog and not the babysitters. I gathered up my courage and walked over and after casually agreeing that yes Jenny's puppy is adorable, I told hubby I had some good news....that Tucker was going to live with us for the rest of his life. He looked at me-time stood still-cause I was willing to fight for this little furball. Hubby looked Tucker in the eye, asked him if he was going to be a pain in the ass or a good dog and Tucker sat, cocked his head in an adorable way then jumped up and licked hubbys nose....it has been love ever since. Tucker now has cancer and we all know that his days are coming to an end but no way will he leave us without a pillow and a blanket!

Probably a nice guy

I know I said yesterday that I would tell you about our adoption experience but I have something else that is weighing on me right now. Our youngest is 12, and plays football for a local req team. He has a blast and for the most part all of the players parents are pretty "normal", meaning they don't shoot at the ref's or spew obscenities at the opposing team. Today there was a guy there, walking back and forth along the sidelines with the biggest ass camera and lens I have ever seen. I didn't recognize him as a regular and asked a few folks who he was.....as it turns out, he doesn't have a kid playing, in fact he doesn't have a kid. The hair on the back of my neck stood up. Okay, okay, he probably IS just a nice guy that likes sports but what is he doing taking photos of 12 year old boys, THAT HE IS NOT RELATED TO in any way. Being the mother hen that I am, I asked him, very nicely of course, what he was doing. He said he likes to "help" out the teams with pictures of the plays which he posts on a "secure" site for us to look at. Okay, maybe thats true but nobody asked him to do this as far as I could find out. There is something about the guy that really gives me the willies. He was pleasant enough and didn't seem threatened by my asking him who he was but I still got the creeps. There was a part of me that wanted to follow him home, confiscate his hard drive and see if he is a pedophile. Extreme you say? well my gut is usually dead on when it comes to creepiness. If there was a stereotype for creepy this guy would fit....fat, bald, short, minimal eye contact and just an air about him that I can't put into words. Hubby has some well placed law enforcement connections but said it is against the law for any police agency to go "checking out" anyone just because someone wants them too...apparently the guy has to actually do something before anyone can find out. Maybe I can get the head of Hewlett Packard to tap his phones ;)

MAKING A FAMILY

I have said here before that we went through many many years of infertility, miscarriages, hormones, surgeries, and on and on. The one area that I haven't really talked about is our attempts to adopt. I was so completely naive. I thought for sure that we could have a house full of ankle biters without any problem, cuz after all we were a really cool couple. We called doctors, lawyers and indian chiefs (not really, but that completed part of a rhyme I remember form childhood) and I managed to tell every living soul that I had ever met, and even people in the checkout line at the store, that we were hoping to adopt. In our state there is a 6-8 YEAR wait and I wasn't about to wait that long! Lo and behold, a local attorney called us and said he had been made aware of a baby girl that had been born and was being placed for adoption. I was ready to snicker and thought..wow, that was easy. Yeah, right. At 5 am the morning we were to head to the hospital to meet our new daughter, the phone rang, it was the attorney telling us that mom and baby had left the hospital around midnight and were no where to be found. If that news wasn't bad enough, we found out 6 months later that this baby was found in a warehouse, still the size of a 1 month old, and had apparently been lying in her bed for possibly 4 or 5 days cause mom was in the slammer for selling drugs and didn't bother to tell anyone that she had a baby that might need a bottle or clean diaper. I wanted to screeeeem! That little girl was living a hellish life and her life would have been dramatically different if we had been able to be her parents. This isn't the only time an adoption fell through for us but it was the worst one. At least the others were loved and cared for as far as we knew. To this day I wonder about that little girl. She was placed in a neighboring county foster system. She would be a teenager now. I hope she is ok. This isnt the end of our story, tomorrow I will fill you in on the most amazing chain of events that made me a mom.

Kindergarten

Nobody can say that I wasn't incredibly stylish back in the day. If memory serves me right, after this photo was taken, I thought that my bangs were stupid and too short, so I cut them off..DUH--I said I was stylish not terribly intelligent. I can prove that right here...I was tagged yesterday by one mothers journey and I am not sure if this is something I need to ponder or I am required to give quick answers -kinda like Rorschach's ink blot testing...so anyway, here goes: 1. limb---i still have 4 that work. 2. sand -is still in my sandals from our trip to California in July. 3. satisfaction-what I will feel if I land this new account tomorrow. 4. divine--laying in the hammock with a book and anything chocolate.These were instant responses...if I had more time I could come up with some delightfully obscene responses but it is late and I have been working since 6 this morning so the naughty retorts will have to wait till I am feeling more clever. By the way, anyone reading this keep your fingers crossed--I really really want this new client--it could mean the difference between buying the cheap crappy ass toilet paper or the really good soft stuff. More tomorrow.

5 years

It is so hard to believe that it has been 5 years. That morning I was sitting in my office and had Good Morning America on the office TV. When Charlie and Diane said there had been a plane hit the WTC I went to wake my husband. With no real details at the beginning, we naively thought it was just a horrible accident. As we sat there we saw a plane on the right side of the screen. As it hit the second tower we were speechless. I live in a bubble where all is good and fair and for that moment I truly thought it was just another horrible accident--maybe a plane flying too close to get a better look. I am not sure at what point it dawned on me that this was intentional--actually 5 years later I still find it hard to believe. When minutes later we heard about the Pentagon and the United flight that was "missing" and ended up in a field, all I could think was that I had to go get the kids out of school because I was the only one that could make them safe. I had a visceral reaction that I had never had before. For the first time in my life I really wondered if this was the end. I didn't personally know anyone in the WTC's but I am the wife of a police officer and I know what dangers they face daily and I don't doubt that the men and women rushing INTO that building to help others get out, did exactly what my husband would have done. I am in NO WAY minimizing the lives of all of the WTC workers that were lost, it is a tragedy all the way around, but I do know there is something that makes police officers and firefighters tick a little differently than the rest of us. I will allow myself to feel moved and sad today and make sure to give my guys an extra hug when they get home today.

Sweating

I am sitting here sweating and it isn't hot. They call it perimenopause and it sucks. I AM NOT OLD! Well, maybe a little bit old but not a lot old. There should be some sort of law against having perimenopause when you are the mother of 3 teenage BOYS! It's not enough that they make me nuts with their disgusting farting, belching, and testosterone fueled attitudes, I have to drench my clothes 10 times a day while sitting still. When I asked around I heard this can last 10 years---I don't think I can handle that. I get absolutely NO sympathy from any of the men in my life. I am secretly looking forward to the day that they are married. I figure out of 3 sons, statistically at least one of them will have to marry a girl that I will like and I will finally not be outnumbered. Even our dog and cat are male.

A woman's life

I sat down here two hours ago to write a quick blog and saw that my wireless mouse needed new batteries. As I was walking out into the kitchen to get new batteries, I noticed that the breakfast ham was still sitting on the counter so I stopped to put it away. But, before putting it away I thought I would make hubby a quick breakfast (he was sleeping earlier) so I wouldn't have to get out all the stuff again an hour from now. I cooked him breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen and heard a dog barking. I looked at the clock and realized it had been about 4 hours since I had let the neighbors dog out (dog sitting for the weekend) so I threw on some shoes and went next door. I tossed the ball for awhile, fed him and put him back inside and came home. When I got back to my yard one of my employees was pulling in dropping off some extra work she had done and we talked for a bit to get caught up. When I came into the house I made a pitstop in the bathroom and saw that it too was messy so I cleaned it up a bit and walked back to my office. Sat down. Remembered that I needed batteries for the mouse, which was my original reason for getting up in the first place. This is why it seems that I never get anything done but I am busy all the time. Ahhh-the life of a woman!

Money

How come no matter how much money you make it isn't enough? When we were first married and both working good jobs, we never seemed to have enough. I wish I had known then that once the kids came along and jobs changed that things would suck even more. For the past 20 years I have said "$10,000 would solve all of our money woes". It seems to be the magic number--it would cover the cost of all my old appliances that need to be replaced, pay off the credit cards, and cover food for a couple of weeks for my bottomless pit boys. I really, really want one of those new front loading washer/dryer combos but I refuse to charge them and there are so many things that are in line before them that I probably won't be able to afford them till all the kids are out of college and by then I won't be doing 3 loads of wash every day so I won't need the big washer and dryer. I have been trying to think of what I could do that I could make that kind of money and the only thing I can think of is illegal everywhere except in Nevada :) Besides that is waaaay to gross to even think about. Though I have often thought that if you are going to do that anyway, you may as well get paid for it, but not the street-corner sleazy smelly stuff, I want to be wined and dined and given valuable gifts~~like a new washer and dryer.